Original Post:
http://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/ask-a-mustachian/brother's-gf-just-facebook-ranted-about-food-stamps-need-help/TL;DR: Talked with brother, GF, and mom about finances for two hours on Sunday. GF's bills were worse than imagined--her car payment is $528 per month. She is not willing to take a semester off school and can't get rid of the car. They don't really have a plan and I'm wondering (a) if they can do anything about their cars (voluntary repo?) or (b) whether I should get my brother alone to discuss whether he should be dating her at all.
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We ended up having dinner for my brother's birthday on Sunday. I got him a Chromecast and three month Hulu membership to help him cut the chord from cable.
This backfired--the cable company had already shut off their internet and cable. He was also behind on nearly every other bill except rent. The only good part to come from this gift was that it prompted a near two-hour discussion about their finances.
I did my best to acknowledge their frustration--aren't you tired of having no money left? Aren't you tired of having to work this much and having nothing except toys to show for it? Etc. He said he was so far in the whole that he didn't care anymore.
I then (orally) did a line-by-line analysis of their budget. This is where my mom and I were completely blown away.
To reiterate, his GF makes $1,660 per month. I'm not sure why, but I always assumed her car payment was $275. Wrong.
Her car payment is...wait for it...$528 per month ($31,000 total financed). She bought that in November when she assumed she would be getting a raise. Ugh.
Her motorcycle payment isn't $150 either...it's $203 plus $40 for insurance.
Overall, her financial picture looks like this:
- Income: $1660/month
- Her Half of Rent: $250
- Her Half of Utilities: $75
- Her Half of Groceries: $100
- Car Payment: $528
- Car Insurance: $100
- Bike payment: $203
- Bike Insurance: $40
- Gas: $150
- Three Dogs (they're hers): $100
Totals: $1660 income, $1,546 expenses.
I'm sure I'm missing things, but it was clear to me that my brother (who has been working overtime and has his truck listed to sell) was starting to make progress, and his overtime was actually subsidizing his GF's terrible decisions.
To me, there were only two options: (1) she should take a semester off from school to get a second job to help pay the bills until she can get rid of the car; or (2) let the dealership voluntarily repo the car. She 100% refused to stop attending school (couldn't really articulate why), and most of the subsequent discussion involved the repercussions of intentionally defaulting on her car loan and having the car repo'd. We left Sunday with brother's GF vowing to get rid of her car one way or another--that was the biggest fix of all that needed to happen.
Well, turns out she can't. Her dad won't loan her the money to buy a beater car for her and the dealership won't allow her to take it back until next November.
So here they are, making $3,500 income/month and having at least $4,000 in expenses. I asked them what their plan was and they said...wait for it...that they are waiting to get her student loan refund check to get caught up on everything. Christ have mercy.
As if this mountain of shit wasn't stacked high enough, GF is going to be finishing her masters in psychology within a year or 18 months. She already has a $60,000 student loan debt tab and said she will have at least $90,000 by the time she graduates. I asked her what her plan was when those come due and she said she didn't know.
Honestly, I don't even know where to go from here.
So my question is two-fold:
(a) Do any of you have experience with allowing vehicles to get voluntarily repossessed, or any other alternative means to get rid of their cars? They are paying almost $1300 just in vehicle payments and I think if they can right that ship, they might be alright.
(b) This is harsh, but for the first time ever I'm starting to wonder whether I should get my brother alone and talk to him about whether his GF is good for him. I normally would never do this--in fact, I have never discussed any relationship matters with him in his entire life, but it just seems like my brother is making sacrifices (working tons of overtime, getting rid of his truck), and she is not doing anything on her end to reciprocate. Also, if you add up the numbers, my brother can support himself, but he's basically working overtime to subsidize all of her terrible decisions.
Bottom line, I think she's a sinking ship that is dragging my brother down into financial oblivion. My brother isn't a genius and has definitely made some bad decisions, but I can't help but think he would be much more financially healthy if he moved on from her.
So, where to go from here...