Hmmm, I’m going to sound more judgey than I mean, but here goes: I’m a bit concerned that you’re trying to be mustachian in training while having your spending at $60k and being home $75k. That suggests your saving rate is quite low. You seem to be conscious that you’re not particularly great at money, hence your hesitation to take from the trust. It feels like your concern is that you’re not worth cause you’re not as good at it as your dad and if you access it now, you might mess it up and drain it.
I think you should trust this instinct. You don’t seem ready. My advice: forget that you have the trust for now. Look at how you can optimize your current life. You’re both 35 but have a combined income of $75k, that seems quite low. Are you not passionate about advancing your career or growing your income because of the trust? No one needs to work longer than they want, but you do learn quite a bit about drive, focus and dealing with people the more you push yourself up the ladder.
What is causing your expenses to be so high? Do a case study (don’t mention the trust) and see what you can do to reduce that.
Once you actually develop stronger financial management skills, then I’d look at some formal learning (possibly an MBA) solely focused on how to run the charity as best as possible. In 10 years time, you’ll have almost 5 million to manage.
You’ll also want to teach your kids skills so they don’t become reliant on this. Reread MMM’s posts, he talks about having the giving pledge for his kid so the child knows he won’t inherit the money and will need to develop his own. Don’t let this trust and the idea of it make you soft, build your financial muscles and prove to yourself that you’re truly ready for such a responsibility. You don’t seem there yet, but reaching out proves you’re ready to start. Good luck.