Thanks again for all the insights - there are updates but I will first explain more.
I am a statistical quant with a PhD in Economics. I am an expert in building and judging things like credit risk models (think FICO scores or loss forecasts). The job I had was very much in line with that and I was awesome at it, but horribly underpaid because I was new in the field. I left because the way to get big pay raises in my field is to get about 2-3 years experience and go somewhere else. The pay raises stop getting so large after about 10 years in and after that its your standard cost of living raise.
The job I have now is with a major bank (I won't say which one - but its one of the "Big 4." I was headhunted and did not seek it. The job description was very quant - PhD required, advanced statistics, etc. My interview was whole day of a grueling questions on highly technical things and I was frequently presented with pages of things and told to quickly assess what might be going wrong. Everyone I interviewed with was a quant.
The big boss was the last guy I interviewed with and he talked the talk, said what I wanted to hear. Now, in hindsight I see the reality. No one gave me an honest answer about the role I was going for. Even when they did mention things, their definitions were different than mine. For instance, in my field a big thing is "sensitivity analysis." They talked a lot about that being part of it. Real sensitivity analysis is taking a model (say a credit score model) and measuring impacts of changes. What I know now is THEIR (as in, this particular department) definition of sensitivity analysis is completely different. In fact, they got a little bit in trouble with the FED because of this and were told to fix it (I know this only now).
In reality, what my team does is copy and paste hundreds of charts into powerpoint for management presentations every few weeks. Its tedious and would be a great job for someone out of college or an intern. The pay is fine - but its not a 9-5 job. During the interview I said repeatedly that I am OK with working late or weekends during regulatory deadlines (standard in our industry) but outside of that am a "home by dinner" family man. The big boss said of course, he didn't expect anyone to stay late on a regular basis.
Now what I did not anticipate: We have two managers below him ("line" managers I guess you could say) that handle the day to day stuff. They are both "go getters" and compete to see how late they can make their underlings stay. Its one thing to do mindless drone work (I can take that for a year) but one of these managers frequently throws fits when people leave before 6:30. She also frequently changes the charts and we have to redo them (all 400 pages) all over again. Last time it was because she wanted the legend all on one line (one item had been below the others on a second line). That caused many people to stay to 8pm and come in on Sunday because it just "had to be done ASAP" despite that it really didn't.
Its only been two months but this has happened consistently enough to the point where I have realized "this is what the job is." Its not just the department either - I've realized its a deliberate company wide culture. The same guy that said "yeah we don't stay late outside of our busy time"(which is typically 1st Quarter of every year) a few weeks ago called a 1 on 1 meeting with my line manager and me (I guess 1 on 2) to discuss why I had been leaving early. Oh, I left at 5:30 and there was nothing to do but we were "waiting for data" that was to be delivered at an unspecified time. I said "looks like this is a 'tomorrow' thing" and I went home. My line manager ran me down as I left and said I needed to stay. I left anyway and that is what prompted the 1 on 2 meeting. In that meeting he admitted that here, if your employees aren't working late its a sign that you don't need as many employees in your department.
So yeah, I would hate to be around here during the actual busy time. I heard from others that last year they frequently worked 8 am - 10 pm during that time. And I know they worked late because of how messed up and inefficient they are (so far all I've seen is "hey do this" then "wait, what you did was wrong because someone sent us the wrong calculations so you need to do it over and I don't care that its 5:30."
Its not a quant job - the longer I stay here it can permanently change my career. I can't even play around with SAS (the quant toolkit) because our team is not allowed to have it. Oh, SAS was on the requirements by the way. As for company culture and job stuff - I now see that they kept me away from the "low man on the totem pole." The only one of those I spoke with was a guy on another team. No one ever mentioned once "oh yeah you copy and paste excel charts." The talk was all statistics, modeling, regulatory environment, etc.
I hope that paints a clearer picture - this is a get the heck out ASAP situation.
----- NOW THE GOOD NEWS!!! -----
Ok enough of that. So yesterday I had a conversation with a manager in another department at my previous employer. He said he had an opening and if I applied the interview would be a formality. He was on the phone with me while he was writing the requirements in for the HR posting. He asked me what salary was ok and what rank, and other benefits. While the salary is lower than what I have at this moment, it is 15% higher than what I had at the company before. Thats all I wanted when I was there and was denied because their HR has a strict policy on things (I would have had to have 5 years in to get what I will be getting).
He said he was dreading filling the position but when he heard through the grapevine I had made a mistake (I told my friend there a week ago) he couldn't think of anyone more qualified because I knew that particular job already very well (I had worked with their team extensively).
And are you ready for the icing on the cake? He said I can initially work remotely. I have a few months to catch my breath, recover a little, and move in a way to minimize the stress. I will get relocation so that will lessen some of the hit.
In an odd way - I could not have planned it better. The job that is open only opened up a week ago. I also know that this particular department is the best to work in - all they care about is you do the work on time. They don't ask questions or demand you stay in the office for the sake of it. I am only required to be in the office 2 out of 5 days a week (can work from home).
It worked out. I would say I got lucky but while I was there, I did do very well and a year ago I saved everyones Christmas. Long story short: had I not gone above and beyond in one regulatory deadline about 10 people would have had to cancel their Christmas/New Years vacation plans and this manager was one of those 10.
I had the conversation yesterday and am overwhelmed with emotion. Its cheesy but you never really appreciate something until its gone and in hindsight, many of my coworkers at that company were more than coworkers. As long as you would stick your neck out for the company they would go to bat for you and I don't see that where I am now. Its cutthroat here.
Yes, I am estimating that the worst case scenario is I have to write them a check for 25k or so. But you know what? Since I started reading MMM I began saving more in non retirement accounts (of course I upped my 401k to well beyond matching :-) ) and I can honestly say I have more than enough to cover that amount. Put it this way - I can cover that amount AND put a down payment on a house again. Yeah, I was on track to be FIRE at 45 or 47 or so. But this experience has me having warm fuzzy feelings for my former (and future) employer and has me thinking that this is a place I would work until I am 55 or more.