Author Topic: To Stay or Go?  (Read 1188 times)

cokesmcgokes

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To Stay or Go?
« on: December 27, 2017, 09:27:25 AM »
Dear all,

Long time lurker, first time poster. I'm seeking wisdom for a bit of a conundrum, but I'll try to make this brief, to avoid a whole case study.

my stats: 24, recently married, working in QC for 2.5 years for one company that was acquired by larger company, has bachelor's degree.
Spouse: 32, graduated last December with a bachelor's, working as test engineer for niche market for small company, on fast track for a promotion.

The situation: My company's plant is closing down in March and have offered to relocated me from Chicago to upstate SC, where HQ is. I do not love my current job, but they would be relocating me for particular knowledge needed to move this plant's operation to HQ, and I would be free to jump to another department after a year and a half or so. This is appealing since it would make breaking into a different line of work more accessible, without the need for more schooling. We visited Greenville and like it a lot, and it seems things would be slightly cheaper there, which is a plus, as we want to be homeowners within the next few years.

The negatives, however... this move would require spouse to find a new job, which seem plentiful in that area, but it would necessitate they start again in entry-level, whereas they're soon able to move up if we stay here. My relocation would be paid for by the company, but would not result in an increased salary. My big hang up is that our entire families are in the Chicagoland area, and I already feel the guilt of a thousand suns for considering moving, and I really resent that feeling of being "trapped."

How do we approach this decision? I feel like if it were strictly a career and long-term financial decision, we should move, but I don't know if can shake the emotional aspect of losing the familial support, especially since we're considering having kids in a few years. Is this just a problem of trying to "have it all" at once, and being disappointed that either way we choose, we can't?

I will try to respond to any suggestions or questions, but cannot promise promptness. Thank you!

honeybbq

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Re: To Stay or Go?
« Reply #1 on: December 27, 2017, 10:51:25 AM »
Doesn't sound like there are really any good reasons for you to move.

One of you ends up jobless if you stay, one ends up jobless if you move. Unless you've been wanting to move to SC, I'd stay and find a new job.

ltt

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Re: To Stay or Go?
« Reply #2 on: December 27, 2017, 11:34:15 AM »
I would stay, and I don't particularly like Chicago, because of where you are in your life---that is looking to have children in a few years.  You will want that family support--it makes a world of difference.  It will be good for any future children you have to be near grandparents, have aunts, uncles, cousins, etc.

Sibley

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Re: To Stay or Go?
« Reply #3 on: December 27, 2017, 11:40:47 AM »
Can you find a new job in Chicago? That seems like the best option honestly.

cokesmcgokes

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Re: To Stay or Go?
« Reply #4 on: December 27, 2017, 02:14:30 PM »
Can you find a new job in Chicago? That seems like the best option honestly.

I can find a new job, likely similar to what I'm doing now, but for no better salary. The incentive for moving with the company is so I can move into an entirely different career track. I've been applying to entry-level jobs that aren't in my field in this area with no luck, and if I have to take something like what I do now, it wouldn't be the end of the world, I just know this isn't where I want to be the rest of my life. I will note it's likely easier for my spouse to find a better paying job in Greenville than it would be for me in Chicago, if that's worth anything.

I would stay, and I don't particularly like Chicago, because of where you are in your life---that is looking to have children in a few years.  You will want that family support--it makes a world of difference.  It will be good for any future children you have to be near grandparents, have aunts, uncles, cousins, etc.

This is really the only thing that's giving me pause, and that's why I feel like it's just me being young and wanting it all, because if we didn't want kids in the next five years, this move is a non-issue. But I agree, I want our kids to know their grandparents, and both of our parents are going to want to help us (w/ kids and home improvement, I mean).
OTOH, I feel like if we're ever going to move, now is the time due to our flexibility and lack of kids/house, especially since one of us is guaranteed a job and the other is super employable in that area.

Doesn't sound like there are really any good reasons for you to move.

One of you ends up jobless if you stay, one ends up jobless if you move. Unless you've been wanting to move to SC, I'd stay and find a new job.

See above, but the move would be for my career (I really like the company I work for), warmer climate, more affordable living, and more jobs available to SO that actually use their degree. In my mind, the only reasons to stay here are: we're already here, SO's possible promotion, and mostly, the family (and associated guilt).

But so far, 3 points for Chicago, 0 for Greenville. Thank you all so far!

nexus

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Re: To Stay or Go?
« Reply #5 on: December 27, 2017, 02:37:19 PM »
Need more info:
>What are your current incomes -- who makes more money?
>Anyone going to be a stay at home parent? -- Someone needs a good enough job to support the household if one parent will be out of the work force for a while (until pre-school?)
>Your spouse is on track for a promotion -- does that mean they'll earn more than you do now?

Options
So at this point, you stay and lose your job and then find a similar one that pays similarly while your spouse keeps earning money too and stays on fast track.

Or you go, your spouse loses her job and you keep earning the same as you did before while she has to start all over in terms of career progress. In addition, you can't switch careers for another 1.5 years if you move.

So, let spouse keep working at her current gig & making career progress. Tell your job to Shove It and find another, new gig now instead of waiting another year and a half plus relocating. Save dat money so one/both of you don't have to work (assuming you're chasing FI).

Now, if you tell them to Shove it and they come back and offer you more money (to the tune of your salary, plus her salary in the new location) you might want to reconsider because you'll be making enough to cover everything while your spouse finds a new job.

So, my vote is to stay unless they offer you significantly more money for trying to uproot you and move you away from your loved ones. Get your job situations super stable before trying to become parents.