Author Topic: To quit or not to quit, now  (Read 9600 times)

backandforth

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 53
To quit or not to quit, now
« on: September 16, 2014, 04:43:52 PM »
Call me whiny if you like, but please provide constructive feedback after a proper online beating.

So here is the situation, simply put, I REALLY hate my job, we want to start a family(clock is ticking, FAST), we have enough money to cover everything with just DH's income, so I can quit, take a break and have a baby.

The problems are:
A. I feel bad to just quit while my husband working so hard, don't want to leave him with all the pressure for an extended period of time. Being a professional myself I know the how much pressure it can be and how fast one's employment situation may change. Also secretly concerned that he would turn into an a** and me turning into the chief housemaid after a while. DH is a very sweet caring person, but hey people behave differently under long period of pressure

B. and yes I do plan to come back to the workforce. However, the whole baby thing can easily take more than 12 months from start to ready for interview assuming all goes very quickly and well. I am scared to death that I won't ever come back with a similar pay even though I feel like underpaid today for the amount of efforts (@ 6K/mo take home today, but work very long hours with demanding boss and frequent biz travels) We have set the goals for ourselves a while back for early retirement (2M by 45, inflation adjusted + plus paid off house), now it's about 10 years away based on our age, and we are about halfway. If I quit, and don't come back to a similar pay this goal will be shattered! But at the same time I don't know if I can go through pregnancy and remain sane if I stay at this job much longer or start a new job (personally think it's a bad idea to go down the learning curve and being pregnant). If for whatever reason the baby plan doesn't pan out soon, I kind of get myself stuck in the possibility of new(possibly lower paid) job+ prego scenario for a while. Painful just to think about it.

I think by the end of the day, the key problem is that I am so drained with my current job, otherwise would have been able to start a family while working like most regular people do, and worse off, I start to feel like burned out at an early age and not sure if I want to come back to a corporate job. Hence the retirement goal problem. Should I just suck it up till maternity leave and try not to punch anybody in the office in the meantime, and move to a new job for another 10 years be done with it, or risk longer working years and with a likely lower paid job(with uncertainty level of happiness) by taking a break now???



gimp

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 2348
Re: To quit or not to quit, now
« Reply #1 on: September 16, 2014, 04:52:59 PM »
Quote
me turning into the chief housemaid after a while.

Well, if you're not working... I mean, you're not pregnant _now_, and then there are still quite a few months where you're mobile and spry, yes? If you quit right now, what do you plan to do with your time other than sex? Certainly there's more of a plan but you're not really explaining what.

Tyler

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1151
Re: To quit or not to quit, now
« Reply #2 on: September 16, 2014, 05:07:17 PM »
We have set the goals for ourselves a while back for early retirement (2M by 45, inflation adjusted + plus paid off house), now it's about 10 years away based on our age, and we are about halfway. If I quit, and don't come back to a similar pay this goal will be shattered!

Another way to look at it: what lifestyle changes can you make today to have the money you've already saved last forever?  That would eliminate the fear of returning to work later at a lower pay, and may even free up your husband to join you.

I personally found that my FIRE number shrank quite a bit over the years the more I optimized my lifestyle.  It may be time for you to reevaluate this as well.

Zamboni

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 2492
Re: To quit or not to quit, now
« Reply #3 on: September 16, 2014, 05:11:04 PM »
Sounds like it's time to just consider yourself all set up with FU money and bring a completely different perspective to work.  Can you turn down some of the travel?  Can you decline to participate in meetings with people you can't stand bc you are too busy?

Basically, it sounds like you don't realize it, but you are in a position where you can do pretty much whatever you want at work.  Whatertheygonnado?  Fire you?

Zamboni

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 2492
Re: To quit or not to quit, now
« Reply #4 on: September 16, 2014, 05:34:53 PM »
Any reason you might need another language at your current job?  Will they pay you to learn another one?  I kid you not, a friend of mine makes money teaching language classes to corporate clients.

You've already established at work that you are a hard worker, so you will be able to get a glowing rec out of someone there in the future.  The problem is that now you are letting the "keep up with the rat race" mentality ruin your happiness there.  You need to let this mentality go, but quitting might just be a cop out.

Have you talked to your boss at all about feeling burned out?  Not sure what your boss is like, but a good boss will be supportive of letting you explore types of work you find more rewarding.  Maybe work in a different group would be interesting?  Or a different position?  Or part time?  Don't assume it can't happen if you don't ask.  It's on you to ask.  Try reading the book "Ask for It".  Good luck!


Emilyngh

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 892
Re: To quit or not to quit, now
« Reply #5 on: September 16, 2014, 05:40:57 PM »
Call me whiny if you like, but please provide constructive feedback after a proper online beating.

So here is the situation, simply put, I REALLY hate my job, we want to start a family(clock is ticking, FAST), we have enough money to cover everything with just DH's income, so I can quit, take a break and have a baby.

The problems are:
A. I feel bad to just quit while my husband working so hard, don't want to leave him with all the pressure for an extended period of time. Being a professional myself I know the how much pressure it can be and how fast one's employment situation may change. Also secretly concerned that he would turn into an a** and me turning into the chief housemaid after a while. DH is a very sweet caring person, but hey people behave differently under long period of pressure

B. and yes I do plan to come back to the workforce. However, the whole baby thing can easily take more than 12 months from start to ready for interview assuming all goes very quickly and well. I am scared to death that I won't ever come back with a similar pay even though I feel like underpaid today for the amount of efforts (@ 6K/mo take home today, but work very long hours with demanding boss and frequent biz travels) We have set the goals for ourselves a while back for early retirement (2M by 45, inflation adjusted + plus paid off house), now it's about 10 years away based on our age, and we are about halfway. If I quit, and don't come back to a similar pay this goal will be shattered! But at the same time I don't know if I can go through pregnancy and remain sane if I stay at this job much longer or start a new job (personally think it's a bad idea to go down the learning curve and being pregnant). If for whatever reason the baby plan doesn't pan out soon, I kind of get myself stuck in the possibility of new(possibly lower paid) job+ prego scenario for a while. Painful just to think about it.

I think by the end of the day, the key problem is that I am so drained with my current job, otherwise would have been able to start a family while working like most regular people do, and worse off, I start to feel like burned out at an early age and not sure if I want to come back to a corporate job. Hence the retirement goal problem. Should I just suck it up till maternity leave and try not to punch anybody in the office in the meantime, and move to a new job for another 10 years be done with it, or risk longer working years and with a likely lower paid job(with uncertainty level of happiness) by taking a break now???

Quit, quit, quit, quit!

(a) I highly doubt your dh will turn into an ass overnight, and if he does, you can deal with it then.

(b) Ummm, am I reading correctly that you have 1 million already?   Why keep working somewhere you hate in case your earnings may be hurt later when, IMHO you really don't need a high second income (if a second income at all)?   I'd seriously look at what expenses you anticipate having in retirement that would be worth sacrificing your happiness now (and possibly for 10 more years).

SunshineGirl

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 749
Re: To quit or not to quit, now
« Reply #6 on: September 16, 2014, 05:52:18 PM »
I don't think you should quit because it puts you further behind in your goals. Stick it out while you find a job that better suits your interests and type of work lifestyle you want.

Eric

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 4061
  • Location: On my bike
Re: To quit or not to quit, now
« Reply #7 on: September 16, 2014, 06:03:05 PM »
If you quit, one of your non-working goals should be learning about how market timing is a losing strategy.

mozar

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 3001
Re: To quit or not to quit, now
« Reply #8 on: September 16, 2014, 06:30:10 PM »
Maybe you posted before, but you could post your current savings and current expenses?
 Sounds like you are 35? Have you gone to the doctor to see how your eggs/ uterus are doing? Some doctors won't check, they'll just say "try, and if you don't get pregnant, come back in 6 months." But some doctors will check and you can get a decent idea of how much time you have.

Have you always gotten regular periods? If so I don't think there is a reason to panic. Most women who can't get pregnant in their late thirties already had problems like severe pain/ cramping. But late thirties pregnancy is entirely possible. It's not a shear drop off at 35 like the media makes it sound like.
Coming back to similar pay depends how long you are out of the workforce. If it's just a year, probably not. But after 6 years yes, you will probably have to start at a lower salary.
Oh and if you want to quit, I think you should wait until you get pregnant.
« Last Edit: September 16, 2014, 06:31:49 PM by mozar »

theonethatgotaway

  • Guest
Re: To quit or not to quit, now
« Reply #9 on: September 16, 2014, 08:13:25 PM »
Sure you're husband will be busy working, but you will be busy with a new 24 hour non stop job! A human!

All your side pursuits sound fine to keep you engaged, but once little one comes your life will revolve around them (and it looks like you'd like that!)

There is nothing wrong with staying home and quitting for good. It's changing your priorities. You'll have a different boss (baby) and of course it will be an adjustment.

You will be fine. Have baby. 2 years down the road re-asses other things.

labrat

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 92
  • Location: USA
  • Lady Mustachian-in-training!
Re: To quit or not to quit, now
« Reply #10 on: September 16, 2014, 08:26:55 PM »
I recently went back to work after having my first child.  I had a ridiculously easy pregnancy and worked up until the day before my due date, when the little one made their grand appearance.  While I still enjoy my job for the most part, I now understand why so many parents choose to stay home.  I never thought I would not want to work after having a baby, but now I really wish I could stay at home/work from home.  Life is too short to be stuck in a dreadful job, especially after having a little one.  If we had $1M banked today (we're also 35), we could easily FIRE so I really envy your position.

My advice:  If you really think you'll want to continue working, keep your options open until after the pregnancy and postpartum hormonal roller coaster ride is over.  Like others have said, try to optimize spending so that you can still meet your goal date.  Earnings are only one part of the equation.

goodlife

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 188
Re: To quit or not to quit, now
« Reply #11 on: September 16, 2014, 09:39:55 PM »
Ok...I wouldn't put the cart before the horse here. First problem is that you hate your job. Normally I would just tell you to go look for a new job, but given you want to get pregnant asap, this changes it a bit. Don't quit... get yourself pregnant first! Maybe it happens right away, but maybe not. Either way, don't quit. Then once you are pregnant I wouldn't quit either. You can just cruise along in your job (which you don't care much about) until you give birth. Nobody will give you much stress because you are pregnant and they won't ever fire a pregnant woman because that would be grounds for a huge law suit. You don't want to travel? Go home early? Come in late? I am sure you can find a doctor who will write you the appropriate note. So for those 9 months, your job is what you want it to be. 50% effort...100% pay. You say you make 6k a month net and have a graduate degree, so I assume this is a corporate job. They probably give you like 16 weeks paid maternity leave? Great, take it!!! 16 weeks (or whatever) off and fully paid, why would you quit? Then, once maternity leave is over, you quit...or not...or get yourself a new job (you can use those 16 weeks (or whatever) maternity leave for interviewing, my cousin did that and got herself a nice raise in the process, haha)! Because this is what I am getting to: you don't know how you will feel like once you have a child. Yes, some women want to be SAHMs, but personally I know more women who after 4-8 weeks couldn't wait to get back to work...I just had lunch with a friend who gave birth 6 weeks ago...she is going back to work next week even though she has 16 weeks paid maternity leave...bored out of her mind...she never expected that, but there you go. Don't make any drastic decisions right now, just wait until baby is born...and first step is getting pregnant, so go do that and decide on everything else later! Good luck!!!
« Last Edit: September 16, 2014, 09:48:06 PM by goodlife »

Terrestrial

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 294
Re: To quit or not to quit, now
« Reply #12 on: September 16, 2014, 10:04:07 PM »
I think what sometimes gets lost in FIRE planning is that as great as it is to retire early, life is too short to spend 10+ years of it being miserable until you can make that happen.   If you hate your job, quit.  Perhaps after you get pregnant as others have suggested, but don't keep doing something that makes you miserable.  After you have your child, evaluate from there. If your husbands income can cover your expenses and you have 400k in cash/equivs that is more than enough to be able to spend some time with your child and then start looking for a job you will hate less, even if it doesn't make as much.

lhamo

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 9814
  • Location: Seattle
Re: To quit or not to quit, now
« Reply #13 on: September 17, 2014, 04:34:15 AM »
If you aren't able to stomach the approach goodlife is recommending (I don't think I could be THAT laid back about a job, ever), you can still start now practicing good boundary setting.  Don't let your boss walk all over you.  Stop working some of those crazy hours.  If they fire you, so be it, but they probably won't.  As suggested, I would consider seeing a fertility specialist and get some "dr's orders" that you need to de-stress for medical reasons (does not have to specify what those reasons are, I believe). 

Or quit.  But my guess is that you will be BORED STIFF if you have the kind of work ethic you claim.  Learning a language can be fun/involved, but hard to spend all day doing it.  I did it once on a prestigious language fellowship where I had 3 hours classes/day and 4-5 hours homework.  Just about killed me and my kids were older.  Couldn't imagine trying to maintain that level of brain intensity while pregnant.  I did work like a maniac through both my pregnancies, though -- full of energy for most of both of them (finished a major project design at 1 am before driving to the hospital for #2s birth (planned C)).

Good luck whatever you decide.  Sounds like you guys have made smart choices that enable you to have MORE choices.


DecD

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 298
Re: To quit or not to quit, now
« Reply #14 on: September 17, 2014, 05:33:15 AM »
I don't recommend quitting now to start a family.

If you hate your job, start looking for a better one.  But don't leave the workforce yet.  Getting pregnant isn't always quick or easy.  Some women get lucky the first month, but some don't.  I have a friend who quit her teaching job to start a family....but then it took her over a year to get pregnant.  It added a lot of pressure, and meant she was out of the workforce for two years instead of one.

Even if you're healthy and young, it's not always immediate.  Wait until you're 12 weeks along, at least.  Or work through the pregnancy before you quit- you'll make enough to fully fund his college. 

I feel like quitting now will derail your FI plans and add pressure to your marriage and the get -pregnant process.  Hate your job? Instead of quitting, find a better job that will keep you motivated and interested and funded(!) while that family starting processes takes off.  If it does take whole to get pg, believe me you will want a distraction rather than sitting around at home thinking about it.

foobar

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 731
Re: To quit or not to quit, now
« Reply #15 on: September 17, 2014, 06:55:29 AM »
Ok...I wouldn't put the cart before the horse here. First problem is that you hate your job. Normally I would just tell you to go look for a new job, but given you want to get pregnant asap, this changes it a bit. Don't quit... get yourself pregnant first! Maybe it happens right away, but maybe not. Either way, don't quit. Then once you are pregnant I wouldn't quit either. You can just cruise along in your job (which you don't care much about) until you give birth. Nobody will give you much stress because you are pregnant and they won't ever fire a pregnant woman because that would be grounds for a huge law suit. You don't want to travel? Go home early? Come in late? I am sure you can find a doctor who will write you the appropriate note. So for those 9 months, your job is what you want it to be. 50% effort...100% pay. You say you make 6k a month net and have a graduate degree, so I assume this is a corporate job. They probably give you like 16 weeks paid maternity leave? Great, take it!!! 16 weeks (or whatever) off and fully paid, why would you quit? Then, once maternity leave is over, you quit...or not...or get yourself a new job (you can use those 16 weeks (or whatever) maternity leave for interviewing, my cousin did that and got herself a nice raise in the process, haha)! Because this is what I am getting to: you don't know how you will feel like once you have a child. Yes, some women want to be SAHMs, but personally I know more women who after 4-8 weeks couldn't wait to get back to work...I just had lunch with a friend who gave birth 6 weeks ago...she is going back to work next week even though she has 16 weeks paid maternity leave...bored out of her mind...she never expected that, but there you go. Don't make any drastic decisions right now, just wait until baby is born...and first step is getting pregnant, so go do that and decide on everything else later! Good luck!!!

This is the way to go. Don't be a total slacker but keep the work load mangeable. Save up 100% of your tax home pay until you quit and have a bit more of a nest egg.

firelight

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1061
Re: To quit or not to quit, now
« Reply #16 on: September 17, 2014, 07:18:11 AM »
Looks like you are super burned out. That makes getting pregnant harder. I'd suggest taking a month off work, work through the burned out feeling and meet with your doctor for an honest assessment of your chances of getting pregnant and the possible timing. That month's break should let you get a handle on things and help you decide with more info.

Cheddar Stacker

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 3714
  • Age: 41
  • Location: USA
Re: To quit or not to quit, now
« Reply #17 on: September 17, 2014, 09:39:55 AM »
401K: 620K (can't touch for 25 years)

Sorry if someone else posted this already, I didn't see it.

This statement is false. rule 72(t) (SEPP), and the Roth Pipeline both provide for early withdrawals. Read more here: http://www.madfientist.com/retire-even-earlier/

Hopefully this will make you and your husband feel more confident in your current stache.

catccc

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1684
  • Location: SE PA
Re: To quit or not to quit, now
« Reply #18 on: September 17, 2014, 10:51:17 AM »
I vote find a new job.  Don't quit.  Try for that baby.  What if you quit and you don't/can't get pregnant right away?  The current problem is your job, just deal with that first.

regarding re-entering the workforce.  I found this to be easy (even with the job market in late 2009/early 2010).  Get a consulting gig if you can't find a permanent position right away (if your profession offers this kind of thing).   Keep looking for the ideal job, and tell them you took time off to be a SAH parent, but you kept up with the industry by doing x, y & z.  I spent about 15 months at home with my 1st, then got back to work, first taking a contract position for a few months, then finding a permanent position later.  Contract work was necessary because DH and I were swapping on SAH Parent duties.  So he gave his notice, I started looking for work, he left his job, and I started the contract gig a week or so later.

I definitely understand being in an undesirable job.  It sucks.  Look for a new one, hopefully that will allow you to see the light at the end of the tunnel.  Good luck!


merula

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1278
Re: To quit or not to quit, now
« Reply #19 on: September 17, 2014, 11:50:49 AM »
+1 for goodlife's plan. Although I have a corporate job with only 6 weeks paid leave, there's also FMLA which brings you up to 12 weeks whatever your paid leave is.

I just don't see any point in quitting before you're pregnant. What if it takes awhile? What if you have a really easy pregnancy and feel fine for 8+ months? There's nothing to say you can't quit if it's untenable once you get pregnant, but quitting because you think it might be difficult seems like it's overthinking things.

Tyler

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1151
Re: To quit or not to quit, now
« Reply #20 on: September 17, 2014, 12:39:36 PM »
401K: 620K (can't touch for 25 years)

Sorry if someone else posted this already, I didn't see it.

This statement is false. rule 72(t) (SEPP), and the Roth Pipeline both provide for early withdrawals. Read more here: http://www.madfientist.com/retire-even-earlier/

Hopefully this will make you and your husband feel more confident in your current stache.

+1.  Also, there is always the option to sell the rental & house to free up another $325k in cash.  It all comes down to priorities and what is most important to you.  You're in really great financial shape, so you should look for options rather than roadblocks.

okashira

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 416
Re: To quit or not to quit, now
« Reply #21 on: September 17, 2014, 05:08:49 PM »
Why does it have to be black and white?

I mean, you're rich. You already have 1M. You hate your job and you want 2M in liquid assets to retire. This means you're either overly fearful, addicted to money, or a spendypants.

Since quitting your job is even an option in your mind, why not take door #3? Make the decision to not be stressed at work anymore.
Walk into work the next day and limit work to 8 hours. Come in late if you needed extra sleep.
If the boss says, why are you late? "Oh, I've been sleep deprived lately. I needed to catch up for my health."
8 hours is up, or you're feeling stressed? Go home.
Think of the movies "Office Space" or "Fight Club" or "Wanted" You don't need the job anymore.

Seriously, is your employer so dumb that they either need an employee who works her brains out for 80 per week or no one at all? Why is there no middle ground?
« Last Edit: September 17, 2014, 05:11:35 PM by okashira »

RapmasterD

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 589
  • Location: SF Peninsula
Re: To quit or not to quit, now
« Reply #22 on: September 17, 2014, 05:14:56 PM »
Go ahead and quit, but work on your savings plan to "auto-build" with compounding to your $2 million goal, which you should be able to hit in about 10 years if you don't dip into savings.

But...have a plan for what you will do with your newfound time. Trust me on this one, as I'm still in the early stages of figuring it out...early. stages.

mozar

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 3001
Re: To quit or not to quit, now
« Reply #23 on: September 17, 2014, 07:51:19 PM »
With roth pipeline, you are done. Find something more fulfilling but you don't need to work for money anymore. If you want, put all your spouses income towards your house. 1m x .04 = 40k a year. That is ample money.

Eric

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 4061
  • Location: On my bike
Re: To quit or not to quit, now
« Reply #24 on: September 17, 2014, 08:02:44 PM »
With roth pipeline, you are done. Find something more fulfilling but you don't need to work for money anymore. If you want, put all your spouses income towards your house. 1m x .04 = 40k a year. That is ample money.

Not if it's in a savings account it's not.  The 4% Safe Withdrawal Rate doesn't work if you pull your money out of the market every time your magic 8 ball says so.

backandforth

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 53
Re: To quit or not to quit, now
« Reply #25 on: September 17, 2014, 09:42:32 PM »
Yep Eric, the money is going back to work, so am I until a solid next step!

Zamboni

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 2492
Re: To quit or not to quit, now
« Reply #26 on: September 18, 2014, 12:20:26 PM »
Or work through the pregnancy before you quit- you'll make enough to fully fund his college. 

This is quite an excellent way of looking at it!  It seems like you've decided to stick it out at work for now (hopefully with the modifications to the pressure you are allowing there, or perhaps with more of a focus on finding a new job), and now you'll have a financial motivation to continue getting up to go to work as well!

It is really nice to be paid while pregnant.  As others have pointed out, people at work generally stop expecting as much productivity during that time, so the pressure at work lifts to some extent.   And you can still continue looking for work.  In my case I was looking for a different type of position while pregnant, and then got a call to schedule a job interview the day that I was in the hospital giving birth (they called my cell, I was on a gurney and didn't really need to look at my calendar ;-) just opted for the last date they offered hoping I would be recovered enough to interview.)  I was offered that job a few weeks later, told them I couldn't start for 5 months, which worked for them since they had interviewed so many duds by the time they saw me that they were dead set on me working there, then continued to use all my maternity leave/disability/accrued vacation getting paid by the old job (I did got back in to the old job half time for 2 weeks near the end of the 5 months to finish up something and help them transition another person to my projects.) 

Exflyboy

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 6377
  • Age: 57
  • Location: Corvallis, Oregon
  • Expat Brit living in the New World..:)
Re: To quit or not to quit, now
« Reply #27 on: September 19, 2014, 05:39:26 PM »
OK door #4 maybe.

So we got $1.4M plus paid of house and I quit at 52 (wife still working for 3 years).. Note we also have pensions of about $43k (assuming the companies don't go broke) starting in 7 years ($27) and 9 years ($16k).

We don't have kids plus we have about $16k coming in as rent.

OK all of the above says there really is no point in working right?.. Well then after 7 months of doing anything I wanted one of my old employers stroked my ego and offered some contract work... I said.. yeah would be fun but naah.. then they offered me more money that I have ever been paid in my LIFE. If I did it full time roughly $170k for my salary alone.. WOW!

So I went back and work 2 weeks full time and this last week it dried up a bit and so I worked half time.

Next week it may go to full time or may stop completely for a while.

Then just today an engineering company asked me what I was making.. I told them, they offered the same and so it goes.

Point is, there seems to be a LOT of work out there and if you got enough FU money (to turn down reasonable offers) you just might find you get some unreasonably high ones.

If you don't HAVE to work then, work is actually more fun and my case at least quite a bit more profitable..:)

Sounds like your close to my situation financially speaking
Frank

forummm

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 7396
  • Senior Mustachian
Re: To quit or not to quit, now
« Reply #28 on: September 19, 2014, 07:06:06 PM »
If you want to save more money, you don't need to quit until you actually get pregnant and have already given birth (or are close enough to it that you need/want to stay home). It could easily take awhile to conceive, and then add in the gestation period. You could be earning another couple years of salary in the meantime. And if you don't plan to keep the job, then stepping it back to 40 or 50 hours per week can't really hurt you right? Once I decided that I wasn't going to overachieve (without any reward for my efforts) I started to feel a lot better about my job.

Also, consider trimming your expenses. $1k/mo for food and Home Depot? That's about $800 more than we spend. And we eat really well. And our house is doing just fine.

If you're so worried about paying off the house, you could just do that now--you have a million bucks.

If your husband is cool with you being a stay-at-home mom, then that's fine. If you guys change your mind later, then you can get a job then (by that point your money could have grown another few hundred thousand or so). You've got lots of options.

mm1970

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 6863
Re: To quit or not to quit, now
« Reply #29 on: September 19, 2014, 07:13:07 PM »
Why does it have to be black and white?

I mean, you're rich. You already have 1M. You hate your job and you want 2M in liquid assets to retire. This means you're either overly fearful, addicted to money, or a spendypants.

Since quitting your job is even an option in your mind, why not take door #3? Make the decision to not be stressed at work anymore.
Walk into work the next day and limit work to 8 hours. Come in late if you needed extra sleep.
If the boss says, why are you late? "Oh, I've been sleep deprived lately. I needed to catch up for my health."
8 hours is up, or you're feeling stressed? Go home.
Think of the movies "Office Space" or "Fight Club" or "Wanted" You don't need the job anymore.

Seriously, is your employer so dumb that they either need an employee who works her brains out for 80 per week or no one at all? Why is there no middle ground?

This is what I was going to say.

Since you are risk averse, I would say: don't quit, but try and get pregnant anyway.  I've been pregnant and stressed, and had a young baby and stressed.  It really kind of sucks.  But being pregnant and having  a young baby was all the excuse I needed to take a step back.

It took me 18 months and 20 months to get pregnant (1st time at 35, 2nd time at 41), which is why I'd suggest NOT quitting while you are trying, because it could take a very long time.

RetiredAt63

  • Senior Mustachian
  • ********
  • Posts: 11373
  • Location: Eastern Ontario, Canada
Re: To quit or not to quit, now
« Reply #30 on: September 19, 2014, 08:08:03 PM »
Or you could be like me - 3 months the first time (and then a miscarriage) and 2 months the second time (healthy baby), in my late 30's.  But don't start maternity leave too early - roughly 1/3 of all known pregnancies end in miscarriage in the first trimester, and that is not counting the pregnancies that were never identified as such ("late periods").  I never told anyone except close family either time, until I was past the third month.

It took me 18 months and 20 months to get pregnant (1st time at 35, 2nd time at 41), which is why I'd suggest NOT quitting while you are trying, because it could take a very long time.