So, longtime follower but I started this account to ask some questions even more anonymously. Any feedback or advice is welcome!!!
I am in a long distance relationship (4 hour drive, 2 states over) with a divorced dad of 2 kids. We have been together over a year and would like to make plans to live in the same state in the near future. Financially, we both have some issues we need to try to resolve to move forward. Since his divorce is the gift that keeps on giving, so I thought I would take it to the forums for some help.
Him: Kindergarten teacher in a relatively LCOL area. Income in the low 40s with little room for growth
His kids: 2 kids, 8 and 11 years old. Great kids.
His divorce: His divorce was finalized in Nov 2014. They didn't use a lawyer (MISTAKE) and he ended up with the short end of the stick in an effort to avoid conflict.
The relevant points to this question are his mortgage debt and his credit card debt. I will address each separately...
1. Marital Credit Card Debt: about 12K originally, now down to 8K
When we met he was paying the minimum payments and basically assumed he would have this debt forever. I swept into his life and we started him on Mint and a budget and he has been throwing all excess funds to this debt, about $500/month. He is frugal by nature, but hadn't been paying a ton of attention to his finances due to feeling overwhelmed by it all. He now feels his hair on fire, and is trying to extinguish it as fast as possible.
2. Mortgage and HELOC: roughly $175K (I don't know the exact total)
During his divorce, he agreed to quit claim the deed to their house to ex, while remaining the only person on the mortgage (UGH). Ex was SAHP for most of the relationship and unable to get mortgage in her name. I am shocked he was able to get that high of a mortgage on his income, but this was pre-crisis. So, yes, he is the only person on the mortgage, while she alone has the property interest. He does not pay the mortgage but relies solely on his ex to make sure it stays current. So far she has been paying all payments. She has not consistently worked since the divorce. She will get relatively low paying jobs for a few months at a time and then bails. She has a new BF living in the house, and my guess is he is paying most of the bills. However, without work history, she cannot get a mortgage to refinance and get my BF off the mortgage, which was the deal when they divorced.
Question:
EX wife refuses to discuss the mortgage with BF and he has no idea if or when she will ever refinance to get the mortgage out of his name. The divorce decree was unclear about that, other than a requirement that she refinance within 6 months of getting remarried. So, is bankruptcy (Ch. 7) the best option here, for both the credit card debt and the mortgage/HELOC. Should he stop paying extra on CC debt (on 0% interest card till Nov) until he explores this option further? We know his credit will take a huge hit, but he wants out from under this and EX shows no signs of making any moves to get a mortgage in her name.
Thank you in advance!!!