How young are the kids? I'm surrounded by military kids, and was a military kid myself, and my observation is that they younger they are, the easier it is.
I would definitely move in your situation, and I wouldn't limit myself to CO, either. Why not open up the job search to Just About Anywhere, and then look at the local COL to see if specific jobs would be forward progress for you. You sound very stuck and very unhappy, so it's time for some hard choices, and to evaluate everything, ditching all assumptions and non-negotiables, to see what best serves your needs. Your husband is "only interested in CO"? Why? What is it about a place just across the boarder (or across the country) that doesn't give him something he gets from CO? And whatever the answer to that questions is, if he even has an answer, is that thing worth more than your family's financial security and future? Is it worth more than being able to afford to put your kids in Little League or dance class or piano lessons? More than being able to help them with college if you choose to? More than giving them the gift as adults of not having to worry about taking care of their elderly parents who are still required to work full time jobs in their 70s?
He loves CO. Okay. Does he love it more than those things? And can he find the things he loves about CO somewhere else?