Author Topic: Tired of looking poor and getting angry. Anyone else?  (Read 43940 times)

missj

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Re: Tired of looking poor and getting angry. Anyone else?
« Reply #100 on: August 19, 2014, 06:49:36 PM »
I had to look up most of those vehicles you mention, to see their prices - having no idea what most of them look like or cost.  This makes me very glad I don't work in an office - no pressure to buy an expensive car. 

It looks like the lower-salaried people also buy vehicles more frequently.  How often would you guess they buy?  Do they even wait to pay off the previous car?

I think the lower salaried people ALWAYS have a financed car payment.  so when they pay one off, that means it's time to buy a new one.  I know at least 2 of them have taken loans against their vanguard account for "emergencies" which includes such things as getting a new roof, fridge died and had to buy a new (expensive) stainless steel fridge, car repairs, unexpected tax bills etc.

The doctors probably just pay cash with their annual bonus cuz they make a fat bonus....they could probably buy 2 nice cars with their bonus.

blackomen

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Re: Tired of looking poor and getting angry. Anyone else?
« Reply #101 on: August 19, 2014, 10:14:06 PM »
But in all seriousness...it's amazing the trends at my work.   let me tell you what is parked in our employee parking lot
...
Missj - How is it you know the exact year of almost every vehicle?  You may be guessing.  But if not, I am very impressed ;)
I'm guessing except for the newest ones where they bragged about buying it.  I've worked here years and there are only about 20 of us, so it's pretty easy to tell when somebody gets a new car.
I had to look up most of those vehicles you mention, to see their prices - having no idea what most of them look like or cost.  This makes me very glad I don't work in an office - no pressure to buy an expensive car. 

It looks like the lower-salaried people also buy vehicles more frequently.  How often would you guess they buy?  Do they even wait to pay off the previous car?

I work in an office and drive a 1999 Honda Civic..  I see a few cars that are clearly older than mine but the vast majority are newer, even the janitor's.

Bob W

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Re: Tired of looking poor and getting angry. Anyone else?
« Reply #102 on: August 20, 2014, 10:12:26 AM »
Your health is weirdly influenced by the car you drive. (google it)  The look of your car effects testosterone and hormone levels.
I really like the rest of your post, but this part is very intriguing (Google didn't help me, unfortunately).  I drive a '99 manual-everything 156k-mile Metro with no clearcoat left on the hood (the rest is still shiny but denty), are you saying my testosterone could be EVEN HIGHER if I had a fancier car?

However, I've noticed that whenever I drive my GF's sister's zero-visibility, uncomfortable, not-for-people-above-5'8", CVT shiny white Prius C I feel like a giant wimp.

(I joke, but I'm legitimately curious about what you said.)


Here is one quick link,  but there seems to many links if you Google "testosterone levels cars"  - http://www.formulaoz.com/red-fast-increases-testosterone-levels/

I'm sure the whole testosterone level, ego, emotional wellness thing plays into many things and purchases in life.   And a person can actually fall in love with an object such as a car via hormonal responses.

It is probably the reason we like to buy nice houses in nice neighborhoods.   I know each time I arrive home I get a little buzz when I see my fancy pants house.  (paid 1/3 the value for it)

Since this thread is about looking poor  -- my hypothesis is that it is better for mental and physical health to not look poor.   Even when I put on my $2 thrift shop designer shirt I can feel a psychic bump. 

It has been known for centuries that uniforms are very influential on a persons attitudes and feelings.  In fact, kids who wear uniforms to school perform better.

Can you imagine a Judge dressing in Bermuda shorts and a tank top with long hair and a beard?   There is a reason for that.  (or better yet a female judge in short shorts and a tube top. lol)

Yes,  I enjoy dressing poor sometimes and bragging about the shoes I found that someone left behind at the campground,  but the reality is we all like to do some dressing up.  I think this is perfectly fine for us folks here in the mustache world.

You might even reverse the game --- See if you can dress better than 95% of the people but only pay 10% as much for the clothes.   See if you can drive a car that is in the top 5% but you bought it at auction and will sell it for a profit.  See if you can have the prettiest home in the neighborhood, but have paid well below the average.   

Why deprive yourself of nice clothes, nice cars and nice homes?

Living well is not a crime,  paying for it on credit is a misdemeanor though! lol

(and by the way,  I'm sure that people who drive Priuses have below average testosterone levels. lol)

dragoncar

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Re: Tired of looking poor and getting angry. Anyone else?
« Reply #103 on: August 20, 2014, 10:58:43 AM »
Your health is weirdly influenced by the car you drive. (google it)  The look of your car effects testosterone and hormone levels.
I really like the rest of your post, but this part is very intriguing (Google didn't help me, unfortunately).  I drive a '99 manual-everything 156k-mile Metro with no clearcoat left on the hood (the rest is still shiny but denty), are you saying my testosterone could be EVEN HIGHER if I had a fancier car?

However, I've noticed that whenever I drive my GF's sister's zero-visibility, uncomfortable, not-for-people-above-5'8", CVT shiny white Prius C I feel like a giant wimp.

(I joke, but I'm legitimately curious about what you said.)


Here is one quick link,  but there seems to many links if you Google "testosterone levels cars"  - http://www.formulaoz.com/red-fast-increases-testosterone-levels/

I'm sure the whole testosterone level, ego, emotional wellness thing plays into many things and purchases in life.   And a person can actually fall in love with an object such as a car via hormonal responses.

It is probably the reason we like to buy nice houses in nice neighborhoods.   I know each time I arrive home I get a little buzz when I see my fancy pants house.  (paid 1/3 the value for it)

Since this thread is about looking poor  -- my hypothesis is that it is better for mental and physical health to not look poor.   Even when I put on my $2 thrift shop designer shirt I can feel a psychic bump. 

It has been known for centuries that uniforms are very influential on a persons attitudes and feelings.  In fact, kids who wear uniforms to school perform better.

Can you imagine a Judge dressing in Bermuda shorts and a tank top with long hair and a beard?   There is a reason for that.  (or better yet a female judge in short shorts and a tube top. lol)

Yes,  I enjoy dressing poor sometimes and bragging about the shoes I found that someone left behind at the campground,  but the reality is we all like to do some dressing up.  I think this is perfectly fine for us folks here in the mustache world.

You might even reverse the game --- See if you can dress better than 95% of the people but only pay 10% as much for the clothes.   See if you can drive a car that is in the top 5% but you bought it at auction and will sell it for a profit.  See if you can have the prettiest home in the neighborhood, but have paid well below the average.   

Why deprive yourself of nice clothes, nice cars and nice homes?

Living well is not a crime,  paying for it on credit is a misdemeanor though! lol

(and by the way,  I'm sure that people who drive Priuses have below average testosterone levels. lol)

Fat bank account is the ultimate testosterone boost

Eric

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Re: Tired of looking poor and getting angry. Anyone else?
« Reply #104 on: August 20, 2014, 11:22:48 AM »
Since this thread is about looking poor  -- my hypothesis is that it is better for mental and physical health to not look poor.   Even when I put on my $2 thrift shop designer shirt I can feel a psychic bump. 
Your physical health?  Like wearing J Crew can stop you from getting sick?  Oh Bob, you're so funny!

Can you imagine a Judge dressing in Bermuda shorts and a tank top with long hair and a beard?   There is a reason for that.  (or better yet a female judge in short shorts and a tube top. lol)
On their day off?  At the store?  Sure, why not?

Yes,  I enjoy dressing poor sometimes and bragging about the shoes I found that someone left behind at the campground,  but the reality is we all like to do some dressing up.  I think this is perfectly fine for us folks here in the mustache world.
Have to disagree here.  I would be perfectly happy wearing nothing other than a t-shirt and shorts, forever.  Dressing up doesn't appeal to me at all.


Why deprive yourself of nice clothes, nice cars and nice homes?

Living well is not a crime,  paying for it on credit is a misdemeanor though! lol

??? Don't deprive yourself of nice cars and homes?  Are you sure you're on the right site?  The real deprivation is paying a lot of extra money for the "status" of driving a nice car or living in an expensive home when cheaper options work just fine.  If the choice is depriving myself FIRE for a year or a nice car, well, that choice is pretty obvious.

partgypsy

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Re: Tired of looking poor and getting angry. Anyone else?
« Reply #105 on: August 20, 2014, 12:08:23 PM »
I think the most important is to get a house that is nice to you. After living in a cute but in disrepair rental house 900? square feet with no insulation (and other rental situations previous to that), moving to our close to 1500 square foot bungalow felt like the Taj Mahal. My husband put a collage  art that is next to our door "the Palace", because this is our palace, even though it is significantly smaller and older than most of the other houses nearby. I totally agree with the person who said, no matter what your means, to have a clean and orderly house, clean and neat clothes, really doesn't take much effort but shows self-respect and pride. Our dog may be a mutt but our daughter does a great job brushing his hair out : )


sheepstache

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Re: Tired of looking poor and getting angry. Anyone else?
« Reply #106 on: August 20, 2014, 12:45:57 PM »

It has been known for centuries that uniforms are very influential on a persons attitudes and feelings.  In fact, kids who wear uniforms to school perform better.


But one theory about why this might is that the kid's don't have to waste as much energy thinking about clothes.

Bob W

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Re: Tired of looking poor and getting angry. Anyone else?
« Reply #107 on: August 21, 2014, 10:51:00 AM »
Since this thread is about looking poor  -- my hypothesis is that it is better for mental and physical health to not look poor.   Even when I put on my $2 thrift shop designer shirt I can feel a psychic bump. 
Your physical health?  Like wearing J Crew can stop you from getting sick?  Oh Bob, you're so funny!

Can you imagine a Judge dressing in Bermuda shorts and a tank top with long hair and a beard?   There is a reason for that.  (or better yet a female judge in short shorts and a tube top. lol)
On their day off?  At the store?  Sure, why not?

Yes,  I enjoy dressing poor sometimes and bragging about the shoes I found that someone left behind at the campground,  but the reality is we all like to do some dressing up.  I think this is perfectly fine for us folks here in the mustache world.
Have to disagree here.  I would be perfectly happy wearing nothing other than a t-shirt and shorts, forever.  Dressing up doesn't appeal to me at all.


Why deprive yourself of nice clothes, nice cars and nice homes?

Living well is not a crime,  paying for it on credit is a misdemeanor though! lol

??? Don't deprive yourself of nice cars and homes?  Are you sure you're on the right site?  The real deprivation is paying a lot of extra money for the "status" of driving a nice car or living in an expensive home when cheaper options work just fine.  If the choice is depriving myself FIRE for a year or a nice car, well, that choice is pretty obvious.

Oh I totally agree with the money saving aspect of the thing.  But there is a third road.  One that MMM has traveled many times.   

On that road you can have the nice clothes - (thrift shop bargains)
The very nice home - (I bought mine for 1/3 the value and put a lot of labor and love into restoring it)
And many very nice cars - (I have friends and family members who buy cars at auction and drive them before reselling them for a profit.  They are always driving cool, nice cars and their annual cost is less than zero.  It is a fun hobby for them and one that anyone who is FI or contemplating FI might consider)

My son just bought a F150 extended cab with a salvage title and 50K miles.  His cost for the car and bodywork amounted to 9K.  He will drive it until he is bored for a year or so and the sell it quick for 15K.  His total time in locating the deal, internet resourcing the parts, contracting with his body work guy and miscellaneous is probably less than 40 hours.  He essentially is driving for free.   That means his budget categories of gas, insurance, truck are all negated out by his profit. 

So MMM is always talking about DYI and how important it is to learn a skill.  Well I think this car trading skill is easy to learn and will benefit you way more than fixing your own leaky pipe will. 

So lets say you learn how to buy and sell cars with little effort and little money for a nice profit.  And then lets say that every 2 or 3 years you find yourself a house that you can live in while you repair it (we stayed in a borrowed RV for the first 3 months on ours).

You have virtually killed the two of the biggest budget categories people have.   I call that smart.  I also see that as a way to vastly accelerate your speed to FI.

I can also say that when I show people my house and tell them what I have into it that my pride/health/testosterone swells.   Same feeling my son has when he pulls in my drive with one of his new deals.  He is smiling wide.   

So bottom line is that "yes"  you really can have the killer house and lots of super cars and nice clothes and if you do it smart, you make money on the whole deal with just a little effort. 

robotqueen

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Re: Tired of looking poor and getting angry. Anyone else?
« Reply #108 on: August 21, 2014, 10:59:09 AM »
Don't let the consumers get you down, you're doing a great thing!

iris lily

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Re: Tired of looking poor and getting angry. Anyone else?
« Reply #109 on: August 21, 2014, 11:37:30 AM »
...
Living well is not a crime,  paying for it on credit is a misdemeanor though! lol

haha, yes, and your points about how to have
"nice" things at low cost is very good.

Sadly, people are becoming less and less able to do things, to fix things, to build things. Sweat equity has been a time honored way to build wealth.

Cool that you son fixes up an old truck, the old truck trend is so interesting to me. I see a fair number of them here in St. Louis. I couldn't have predicted that trend.

Threshkin

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Re: Tired of looking poor and getting angry. Anyone else?
« Reply #110 on: August 21, 2014, 01:44:31 PM »
1. the GOP base is mostly white poor mostly rural who spend all day in the right wing echo chamber, so when the OP presents her "food stamps" debit card (that it isn't doesn't matter) the voice of Rush the Mouth Limbaugh pops up and reminders them that this "loser" is sponging off her hard earned tax dollars. thus earning his derision. It is probably useless to argue any different.

I find this incredibly biased and condescending.

solon

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Re: Tired of looking poor and getting angry. Anyone else?
« Reply #111 on: August 21, 2014, 02:43:08 PM »
1. the GOP base is mostly white poor mostly rural who spend all day in the right wing echo chamber, so when the OP presents her "food stamps" debit card (that it isn't doesn't matter) the voice of Rush the Mouth Limbaugh pops up and reminders them that this "loser" is sponging off her hard earned tax dollars. thus earning his derision. It is probably useless to argue any different.

I find this incredibly biased and condescending.

And wrong.

Tectressa

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Re: Tired of looking poor and getting angry. Anyone else?
« Reply #112 on: August 22, 2014, 04:21:59 AM »

You might even reverse the game --- See if you can dress better than 95% of the people but only pay 10% as much for the clothes.   See if you can drive a car that is in the top 5% but you bought it at auction and will sell it for a profit.  See if you can have the prettiest home in the neighborhood, but have paid well below the average.   


I do this too. In my experience, people do judge you on the way on you appear. So my strategy is to figure out the status markers that people recognise and value, and then acquire them as cheaply as possible.

Captain and Mrs Slow

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Re: Tired of looking poor and getting angry. Anyone else?
« Reply #113 on: August 22, 2014, 07:26:04 AM »
For some reason the forum is super slow to load, so can't quote.

I don't know where you all shop but not a high class dresser, jeans and a T-shirt is all I need, Wife is similar, but never run into a problem like this! As mentioned before it doesn't cost much to look classy.

Off topic: the comment about the right wing echo chamber is 100% correct! Day in and day out right wing blogs radio and TV (and now Facebook) remind us about how lazy the unemployed and working poor are. Remember Regan's welfare queen or the guy featured on Fox who was in a band and used food stamps to eat. Why do you think the OP complained about the cashier sneering at her she pulled out her "food stamps" card. It's because that's all she hears or reads about.

OK slight edit: maybe not daily, as long as their is a black democrat president they will spend most of their time complaining about how he's ruining the country (note the issue is bit less about race than the fact the President is Democratic), should by chance a Republican gain the presidency all will be forgiven and we go back to bashing the poor.

I could be wrong on this but I don't think I am. The GOP/Tea Party base is white and rural and almost to a T willing to vote against their own interest. Great example is when the GOP voted to increase taxes on payroll taxes but refused to increase taxes on earned income. On that point even some conservatives complained.

Second point: why do banks pay much much less interest on borrowed money (which then in turn lend back to the government at a profit) while charging students 9 times the interest on student debt. Again the GOP blocked a law that was meant to change that.

So where is the Tea Party now?????

If you really want to understand the issues of the struggling middle class I highly recommend Elizabeth Warren's book The Two Income Trap, that book totally changed my thinking on working moms. Main weakness is she doesn't embrace frugality but that's minor point.

Mods perhaps this would be a good opportunity to split the thread.

PloddingInsight

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Re: Tired of looking poor and getting angry. Anyone else?
« Reply #114 on: August 22, 2014, 07:39:39 AM »
For some reason the forum is super slow to load, so can't quote.

I don't know where you all shop but not a high class dresser, jeans and a T-shirt is all I need, Wife is similar, but never run into a problem like this! As mentioned before it doesn't cost much to look classy.

Off topic: the comment about the right wing echo chamber is 100% correct! Day in and day out right wing blogs radio and TV (and now Facebook) remind us about how lazy the unemployed and working poor are. Remember Regan's welfare queen or the guy featured on Fox who was in a band and used food stamps to eat. Why do you think the OP complained about the cashier sneering at her she pulled out her "food stamps" card. It's because that's all she hears or reads about.

OK slight edit: maybe not daily, as long as their is a black democrat president they will spend most of their time complaining about how he's ruining the country (note the issue is bit less about race than the fact the President is Democratic), should by chance a Republican gain the presidency all will be forgiven and we go back to bashing the poor.

I could be wrong on this but I don't think I am. The GOP/Tea Party base is white and rural and almost to a T willing to vote against their own interest. Great example is when the GOP voted to increase taxes on payroll taxes but refused to increase taxes on earned income. On that point even some conservatives complained.

Second point: why do banks pay much much less interest on borrowed money (which then in turn lend back to the government at a profit) while charging students 9 times the interest on student debt. Again the GOP blocked a law that was meant to change that.

So where is the Tea Party now?????

If you really want to understand the issues of the struggling middle class I highly recommend Elizabeth Warren's book The Two Income Trap, that book totally changed my thinking on working moms. Main weakness is she doesn't embrace frugality but that's minor point.

Mods perhaps this would be a good opportunity to split the thread.

PLEASE just shut up.  That old saw about the pot calling the kettle black?  That's you.  You generalize and pigeon-hole people.  You paint large swaths of the country as ignorant because they disagree with your value judgments.  You blame it on the "echo" chamber while recommending we read a book by a hyper-partisan Senator with a history of twisting statistics to fit her chosen narrative.  (See: criticisms of her work on medical bankrupcies.)

I am sick to death of people bringing politics into places where it doesn't belong.

dragoncar

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Re: Tired of looking poor and getting angry. Anyone else?
« Reply #115 on: August 22, 2014, 07:45:10 AM »
For some reason the forum is super slow to load, so can't quote.

I don't know where you all shop but not a high class dresser, jeans and a T-shirt is all I need, Wife is similar, but never run into a problem like this! As mentioned before it doesn't cost much to look classy.

Off topic: the comment about the right wing echo chamber is 100% correct! Day in and day out right wing blogs radio and TV (and now Facebook) remind us about how lazy the unemployed and working poor are. Remember Regan's welfare queen or the guy featured on Fox who was in a band and used food stamps to eat. Why do you think the OP complained about the cashier sneering at her she pulled out her "food stamps" card. It's because that's all she hears or reads about.

OK slight edit: maybe not daily, as long as their is a black democrat president they will spend most of their time complaining about how he's ruining the country (note the issue is bit less about race than the fact the President is Democratic), should by chance a Republican gain the presidency all will be forgiven and we go back to bashing the poor.

I could be wrong on this but I don't think I am. The GOP/Tea Party base is white and rural and almost to a T willing to vote against their own interest. Great example is when the GOP voted to increase taxes on payroll taxes but refused to increase taxes on earned income. On that point even some conservatives complained.

Second point: why do banks pay much much less interest on borrowed money (which then in turn lend back to the government at a profit) while charging students 9 times the interest on student debt. Again the GOP blocked a law that was meant to change that.

So where is the Tea Party now?????

If you really want to understand the issues of the struggling middle class I highly recommend Elizabeth Warren's book The Two Income Trap, that book totally changed my thinking on working moms. Main weakness is she doesn't embrace frugality but that's minor point.

Mods perhaps this would be a good opportunity to split the thread.

PLEASE just shut up.  That old saw about the pot calling the kettle black?  That's you.  You generalize and pigeon-hole people.  You paint large swaths of the country as ignorant because they disagree with your value judgments.  You blame it on the "echo" chamber while recommending we read a book by a hyper-partisan Senator with a history of twisting statistics to fit her chosen narrative.  (See: criticisms of her work on medical bankrupcies.)

I am sick to death of people bringing politics into places where it doesn't belong.

I'd just like to echo these comments.

RunHappy

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Re: Tired of looking poor and getting angry. Anyone else?
« Reply #116 on: August 22, 2014, 08:09:35 AM »
I would rather look poor and have a lot of money, than look rich and have no money. 

However you also have to find a balance that is right for you.  Some people are perfect happy in Goodwill clothes and others aren't. 

I have the opposite issue that you have.  The way I look does not reflect my frugal lifestyle.  Years and years ago I splurged on a nice designer wardrobe (before I realized I was killing myself financially).   So if people find out that I actually live very cheaply they assume that I am living maxed out on credit (not the case), I just am still the same size, get my shoe heels replaced, and haven't had a need to buy new clothes in almost 2 years.



***Edited to add "(before I realized I was killing myself financially).
« Last Edit: August 22, 2014, 08:13:14 AM by RunHappy »

Tetsuya Hondo

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Re: Tired of looking poor and getting angry. Anyone else?
« Reply #117 on: August 22, 2014, 08:23:06 AM »
I am not really all that concerned with my appearance, but I have figured out that you can put a small amount of effort to meet whatever base level is deemed acceptable socially.  I wear nice new clothes to work but my polo's are off brands or off the 70% rack.  I drive a nice car (acura) but it gets good gas mileage and is >10 yrs old.  I live in a normal suburb community but chose to buy a foreclosure and fix it up, etc.

I realize that it is important to play the game somewhat, but you can do so without that much effort.

+1

There's absolutely no reason to wear a hairshirt if you're frugal. Hell, with all the thriftstore, TJMaxx's, outlet stores, etc. out there you can even look rich without paying very much. I can't even remember the last time I paid full price for an item of clothing, yet I manage to wear nice looking things without paying much for them.

If that doesn't work, you can always put on a stocking cap, grow a mustache or put on a pair of 1950's style glasses and people will just think you're a hipster instead of poor.
« Last Edit: August 22, 2014, 08:25:08 AM by Tetsuya Hondo »

Bob W

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Re: Tired of looking poor and getting angry. Anyone else?
« Reply #118 on: August 22, 2014, 12:11:34 PM »
I am not really all that concerned with my appearance, but I have figured out that you can put a small amount of effort to meet whatever base level is deemed acceptable socially.  I wear nice new clothes to work but my polo's are off brands or off the 70% rack.  I drive a nice car (acura) but it gets good gas mileage and is >10 yrs old.  I live in a normal suburb community but chose to buy a foreclosure and fix it up, etc.

I realize that it is important to play the game somewhat, but you can do so without that much effort.

+1

There's absolutely no reason to wear a hairshirt if you're frugal. Hell, with all the thriftstore, TJMaxx's, outlet stores, etc. out there you can even look rich without paying very much. I can't even remember the last time I paid full price for an item of clothing, yet I manage to wear nice looking things without paying much for them.

If that doesn't work, you can always put on a stocking cap, grow a mustache or put on a pair of 1950's style glasses and people will just think you're a hipster instead of poor.

Yeah, I guess the title of this thread "tired of looking poor and getting angry" pretty much leads to the obvious ---  Well then,  stop looking poor.   It is so cheap to dress nicer than 95% of the people, it is hardly a budget line.  I think I may have spent $100 on clothes this year.  Mostly very nice thrift store stuff.  Some completely unused.   

Yet, I still have a closet filled with clothes I haven't worn in over 2 years.  Time for some serious closet cleaning and selective thrift store shopping!  (hint - avoid garage sales and look for niche thrift stores located in upscale, older neighborhoods)   As a bonus the thrift stores around here all support charity work. 

missj

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Re: Tired of looking poor and getting angry. Anyone else?
« Reply #119 on: August 22, 2014, 01:53:15 PM »
So, the OP doesn't seem to think it's their wardrobe, they mentioned the foodstamps example at the grocery store.

here's my response to that.  First of all, without getting too political, I am NOT a republican in any way.  I'm not really a democrat either but I lean closer to the left. If I had to describe myself I'd say I'm a left leaning libertarian who believes in public schools.  anyways, I digress.

you have mentioned you adopted a special needs child.  Which is awesome.  You accept some state assistance which you are entitled to, and which makes financial sense towards achieving your financial goals.  You could, presumably afford to pay for these things yourself and thus reduce your savings rate, but you are choosing to accept the state assistance that you rightly qualify for.  So, in my humble (and possibly offensive) opinion I believe that part of the "cost" of accepting that state assistance that you don't TRULY NEED is accepting the stigma that goes along with it.  If you don't want the judgement that comes along with foodstamps, then don't accept the foodstamps.

I'll go even 1 step further and say that the rush limbaugh listeners of the nation would be more judgemental of the foodstamps recipient who can actually afford food than the foodstamps recipient who otherwise could not afford food.

Now, I'm not saying you should quit foodstamps, or implying you are not entitled to them, or that you are scamming the system.  I'm just saying there is no "free lunch" in this world, and the price you must pay for your foodstamps is some internal humility and external judgement.  If you don't believe it is worth that price, then don't continue to accept it.

One of my best friends is a foster parent and as such receives state assistance for her foster kids.  she experiences the same issues and I believe what she is doing is great.  I'm not begruding her state assistance at all.

One of my other best friends has a very high net worth (millions) due to an inheritance and she has a disabled child and she has almost no income (lives off her investments) so he qualifies for state services because of her low income and his disabled status.  She accepts these services even though she could afford to pay for them.  My feelings are mixed on this issue.

just a different take on this whole thread.  I don't think the OP is talking about clothes.
« Last Edit: August 22, 2014, 01:58:44 PM by missj »

partgypsy

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Re: Tired of looking poor and getting angry. Anyone else?
« Reply #120 on: August 22, 2014, 02:02:54 PM »
Missj, while I do think it is something one learns with age and experience, to not care about what other strangers think of you, I guess my take, why SHOULD someone be stigmatised or sneered at because they use food stamps? What happened to us, as fellow citizens that we behave this way towards other people? I just think it's sad. As they say it in Graceland, "Don't judge another man until you have walked a mile in his shoes."

missj

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Re: Tired of looking poor and getting angry. Anyone else?
« Reply #121 on: August 22, 2014, 02:28:50 PM »
Missj, while I do think it is something one learns with age and experience, to not care about what other strangers think of you, I guess my take, why SHOULD someone be stigmatised or sneered at because they use food stamps? What happened to us, as fellow citizens that we behave this way towards other people? I just think it's sad. As they say it in Graceland, "Don't judge another man until you have walked a mile in his shoes."
I hear you.  But why lament the fact that the world is not as it should be?

You have quoted a well known and wise saying.  I'll quote the serenity prayer: 
"God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference."

It is unlikely the OP can change the way the world views food stamp recipients.  All the OP can change is their own attitude and emotions toward it, or whether or not they continue to accept the assistance.  I believe it is a waste of energy to dwell on how the attitudes of others are not right or fair.

Captain and Mrs Slow

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Re: Tired of looking poor and getting angry. Anyone else?
« Reply #122 on: August 22, 2014, 11:58:28 PM »
My brother in law works with the working poor and homeless and often comments, when he sees a fancy car or nice house, oh they must be rich. I just laugh and tell him to read The Millionaire Next Door!

iris lily

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Re: Tired of looking poor and getting angry. Anyone else?
« Reply #123 on: August 23, 2014, 01:44:56 AM »
...One of my other best friends has a very high net worth (millions) due to an inheritance and she has a disabled child and she has almost no income (lives off her investments) so he qualifies for state services because of her low income...

This statement is bugging me, off topic though it is.

She should be getting a decent income from millions. Something isn't right here, and maybe it's her investment manager.

plantingourpennies

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Re: Tired of looking poor and getting angry. Anyone else?
« Reply #124 on: August 23, 2014, 09:00:11 AM »
This statement is bugging me, off topic though it is.
She should be getting a decent income from millions. Something isn't right here, and maybe it's her investment manager.

If you're on these forums you should be familiar with this line of thinking. Jacob from ERE lives on ~7k per year but has what must be close to a 7 figure net worth, MMM lives on ~25k per year for a 3 person household and is above 7 figures.

Many people think it is ok to rely on state services even if you are high-net worth; some states don't means-test their programs.

Best,
Mr. PoP

iris lily

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Re: Tired of looking poor and getting angry. Anyone else?
« Reply #125 on: August 23, 2014, 09:10:29 AM »
This statement is bugging me, off topic though it is.
She should be getting a decent income from millions. Something isn't right here, and maybe it's her investment manager.

If you're on these forums you should be familiar with this line of thinking. Jacob from ERE lives on ~7k per year but has what must be close to a 7 figure net worth, MMM lives on ~25k per year for a 3 person household and is above 7 figures.

Many people think it is ok to rely on state services even if you are high-net worth; some states don't means-test their programs.

Best,
Mr. PoP

These low incomes are what they've chosen to take from their income generating stash.

The example of missj was presented as low income, not by choice.


missj

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Re: Tired of looking poor and getting angry. Anyone else?
« Reply #126 on: August 23, 2014, 09:18:12 AM »
Yeah,  I'm not really sure of how it goes.  I don't get too nosy with her finances and she is quite hush hush about it.  Much of the deceased estate was held in commercial real estate in a part of the country that property values have not fully recovered so the heirs have decided not to sell the properties yet. 

The properties and securities are held in trust with quarterly net income distributions and somehow the total if those distributions keeps her under the amount that the state is concerned with.  They don't get food stamps or cash assistance but they do get full medical and dental for the child and free after school care and I think reduced price school lunch.

Anyways,  they are an awesome and conscientious family.  I've not walked a mile in their shoes (or rolled a mile in his wheelchair)

arebelspy

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Re: Tired of looking poor and getting angry. Anyone else?
« Reply #127 on: August 23, 2014, 01:41:38 PM »
MOD NOTE: Locked due to unnecessarily rude behavior.  If you can't post your thoughts in an intelligent manner, without insulting someone else (even if they disagree with you on politics, or whatever), don't post.  Thanks.
« Last Edit: August 23, 2014, 01:46:55 PM by arebelspy »
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