I actually thing about mortality a lot due to working with the elderly. Most of them wish they had done more when they were younger versus waiting until retirement. I often hear the Golden Years suck (yep, they really use that word), but I'm dealing a skewed population due to my job.
It is hard to project 10-15-20 years out. I like your idea of shorter intervals.
My dh was vacillating whether he should go with me on a short trip due to the extra expense. He's already going to a reunion (paid for out of his OT work), and we're planning on a few days away for our anniversary. I told him $400-$500 isn't going to make or break us. Something he has not heard from me very often! We won't have a car rental, or motel expenses, or meals, since we will be with family, and we were able to get two round-trip tickets for around $650, so even less than we estimated. Yep, he's going with me to an important 20 year military retirement!
Another thing you may (not) want to think about is your own mortality. If you died tomorrow (or just after you FIREd), how much would your kid need? When I retired, I no longer had the automatic death cover insurance I had when I worked. This was no drama for me, but it could be for others. MMM tends to self-insure - and that is fine, if you have thought things through, and have an appropriate will.
What about in x years time - you may want to go through the scenario for 5 year intervals.
CommonCents, we are past the college age with the youngest but not marriage, which will probably be next year. My goal also is not to touch our stash which by default led to to the whole inheritance thing. There's a difference between that and saving for an inheritance. Thanks for pointing that out.
Arebelspy, I have a tendency to compartmentalized things. Guess I need to look at the bigger picture. We give a lot to charity now and it is by far our biggest expense, thus I'm not looking at leaving to charity in the future.
Villanelli, I think it's wonderful that you and your sister were able to go with your mom on a vacation. As a parent, it would be hard for me to do something I considered frivolous. However, if I thought someone else would benefit from it i.e. my kids, then it's totally different and easier to justify.
Begood/DoubleDown, you're right of course about meeting our needs first to avoid being a burden.
Zhelud, I'm actually starting to think more about grandkids....
MayDay, not sure what I'd do with a 5m inheritance but I suspect I'd replace our 13 and 14 year old cars. Maybe even with new ones. And I would probably keep our house rather than renting. We would just hire someone for yard and house and pool work. Sounds like winning the lottery. Ha ha
I appreciate all the comments and the different perspectives. I know there's not a right or wrong way of doing things per se. I also know I'm not the first one to struggle with balance especially factoring in a spouse.