Thoughts/Encouragement: Too cowardly for MMM?

[uncertaincoward]

Let me start by saying I've been an on-and-off reader of MMM since somewhere close to the beginning. I'm pretty sure it was this blog that first opened my eyes to the possibility of retiring extra-early. I'd always planned to pull the cord at 59 1/2 (IRA withdrawals allowed), then maybe 55 (same as above, with some after-tax savings.) Then when I saw what was going on here, suddenly much earlier looked doable. And then I got off-track...

Somewhere in there, I remarried, had kids, and realized my dream of owning a pointlessly large, old house (bought out of foreclosure at a nice price, so not entirely unMustachian) Somehow, I've also ended up as a "high earner". Mostly through real estate investing and controlling costs, our net worth is something over $3M.

Now I'm in my late 40's. I just started a new job after six months off due to a non-compete requirement. It's a great opportunity, great pay, good environment... and I'm left wondering why?

Pretty sure I can generate enough ROI with real estate to meet all of our needs and then some. Am I just too spineless to pull the trigger? Anyone else found themselves in a similar position? What did you do?

Thanks,
Cowardly

[Villanelle]

Search the forums for OMY or One More Year syndrome. It's a pretty common problem--people who have done the math and know what they need to retire, but they can't leave the job even after they reach that number.

But it sounds like you haven't quite done the math, so I'd start with that.  Seeing the numbers might help you feel more secure.  Try to decide what you will need/want in retirement, and base that on a more granular budget rather than just "About $XXk sounds right".  Then use the 4% rule (or whatever withdraw rate you feel comfortable with.  Factor in things like what social security you will get, etc. 

If the numbers work, then you can retire.  And more to the point hopefully if you see the specific numbers and they do work, it will give you the security you need to actually write that resignation letter or to set a very clear deadline (e.g. you will quit by your 50th birthday) that you can work towards, giving yourself and your partner time to mentally prepare, come up with plans on how you will spend your time, etc. 

It can also help to focus on what you are retiring to.  If retiring is just about not having to go to work anymore, that can leave a huge, overwhelming void and also make it  more difficult (and less pressing) to make the jump.  If you think about how you will spend your time.  That can give you motivation to actually quit and also help the After Times feel less nebulous and unknown. 

[FI45RE]

Posting a case study may be helpful to get feedback on your actual numbers.

[draco44]

It all depends what your true goals are. If someone's dream is to have a great family, stay busy working at a job they enjoy, and have a big house, then kudos to them for making it happen!

Do you actually enjoy the "great opportunity" job you started and feel guilty because that doesn't fit with your earlier goal of retiring early? Or do you just appreciate the job as an objectively good position for someone to have, but maybe not yourself, and want out?

If you are in the first situation, you may remember that MMM coined the term SWAMI (Satisfied Working Advanced Mustachian Individual). Here's the post: https://www.mrmoneymustache.com/2011/04/30/weekend-edition-retire-in-your-mind-even-if-you-love-your-job/

If you want out of your job, then like @Villanelle says, read up on One More year syndrome. It sounds like that may be be where you're at. But don't retire just for the sake of escaping the rat race. Have something to retire to.

[uncertaincoward]

Hi, and thanks for the responses. OMY sounds like my situation, alright. I'll go and search that out -- probably will be in good company.

I'm not really the SWAMI type -- the work I do is neat, and challenging, but nonetheless not something I'd choose to do. If I lived to be 700 years old, there still wouldn't be time to do everything I want to do that isn't a "day job".

@Villanelle, you're right, I haven't done the numbers in detail yet. That sounds like a good starting point. Thanks!

[ChpBstrd]

Some OMYers postpone retirement for fear of someday running out of money.

Some have tied their self-concept so closely to their careers that quitting would trigger an existential crisis. Who am I if I'm not a [insert worker bee role here]? Or their entire social lives consist of their co-workers.

Some fear the negative connotations of being the idle rich: jealousy, assumptions about being a trust fund baby or lawsuit millionaire, expectations from relatives/friends, etc.

Some simply have nothing to retire to. No post-career ambitions. No charitable passion. No art or music to do. No kids/grandkids to mentor. No political drive. No fanatical hobby. No desire to see the world.

Pick who you are out of the above, and ask yourself whether it is a problem or not.

[Trifle]

I agree you should run the numbers in detail and do some soulsearching, but from your comment above about there not being enough time to do all the things you want to, it sounds like you have plenty to FIRE to.   

Your situation is very common.  There are loads of threads discussing OMY syndrome.  Here's a recent one by @Omy -- https://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/post-fire/serious-'one-more-year'-syndrome-advice-appreciated/


 

[Dicey]

But don't retire just for the sake of escaping the rat race.

I disagree with this 100%, especially with a NW of $3M.

OP, you will find kindred spirits on this thread:

https://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/throw-down-the-gauntlet/race-from-$2m-to-$3m/

Welcome to the club!

[MrThatsDifferent]

I’m going to leave your questions to others, I want to tackle “cowardly”. A couple thoughts on this:
—what you focus on, grows. If you put your focus on being a “coward” then that will control your mindset
—shift your frame from “coward” to something more empowering, try “brave”
—spend time and energy on all the things you’ve done in your life that were brave (cowards don’t amass a $3m networth)
—make a list of the benefits of being brave with your current dilemma, let that be your only focus
—change your username to a new and better persona, one that you can emulate in the real world
—never expend a drop of energy with the concept of being a coward again!