Anyone have resources for happy finances in a marriage?
The absolute best I've found is this forum. I'll add these suggestions:
1. Don't hide financial information from your partner
2. Have a regular open dialog with your partner about money and how you are spending money
3. If you don't like something your partner is doing with money, don't hold it against them. Lead by example and find a way for them to be accountable for their behavior.
Number 3... a few years ago I had a serious issue with DH not working enough and spending too much (and it turned into a huge thread on here). The thing that totally changed the dynamic was letting him have control of his own spending (with limits in place - like "any purchase above xx dollars we need to talk"), reinforcing good spending (like waiting to buy something til it was on sale, or talking through whether we even need it), and just basic finance education. We found some tv shows and podcasts about business and finance that were fun to listen to and talk about.
The flip side is that I used to make him feel bad about spending or just not talk to him about things he didn't care about (retirement, savings, etc). Now I treat him as a financial equal - and sometimes my enthusiasm talking about retirement savings or refinancing the house is contageous (that's what I mean by "lead by example"). Financial talk becomes normal when it's part of your day to day interactions and isn't emotionally charged. DH needed help learning how to set a budget for his business - before he would have hid what he didn't know, but now it's a fun thing for us to do together.