First of all,
I'm not a US / north american citizen. I'm Israeli.
I had a conversation with DW about my desire to switch jobs. It's a soul crushing job in the media and I am so over it, it hurts.
Also we moved away from my current job a few months ago and since then bought our first car (from my dad, in cash, at about 60% of its value) in order for me to be able to get there, about 40 min in traffic . Getting there on public transportation takes between 2x and 3x. So feasible but I'm never home. For reference it used to take me 25 minutes with no car to commute from the old place. Getting any closer to work than that would have meant leaving the city and living in a country house which wasn't an option for both of us.
Anyhoo.. DW refused to discuss dipping into savings for this goal. Savings I made before meeting her. For this very purpose. (She refuses to see this as spending money). However, things for our coming child like brand new furniture and mountains of clothes have a priority and are magically financed by money we did not make this month.
On a larger scale, and I posted on this before, she refuses to see any other model of lifestyle other than work til you drop at 67 and only then retire. She never saved a dime consciously (she's thankfully not the splurgy type and never been in debt. I have and have no interest in going back there).
I have grown more and more interested in FIRE over the past year and have tried to breach the topic but was greeted with absolute resentment.
I rant. But what I think I'm looking for is some flexibility on her part, trust, support, and I feel all I'm getting is fear, mistrust and rigidity of thought.