Author Topic: Terrible job situation - advice needed  (Read 11990 times)

ashley

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Terrible job situation - advice needed
« on: December 28, 2013, 11:41:08 AM »
I work as a compliance manager at a small mortgage lender. I've been with this company for 2.5 years. I'm making $37k a year, and I really think my job is worth more than this, but I had to literally threaten to quit (~6 months ago) in order to get my last pay increase. But that's beside the point. I'm single and my income is more than I even need to meet my living expenses. I have no debt.

The boss is a sociopath (no exaggeration) and is slowly driving people away. He just dropped a big pay cut on the loan officers last week, and now a couple of them are talking about splitting off to start their own brokerage (they've done this previously and only joined our current company because they thought it would be a good opportunity - not the case). I could potentially go with them and be an assistant of sorts, as well as manage their compliance. It would be strictly commission and probably a huge pay cut at first, and probably a 40 minute commute each way (currently my drive is only 10 minutes). I have $20k+ in the bank and could float along on that if needed, but it's scary to think about not having much of a paycheck for a while. My lease expires in July, and I'd consider moving closer to the new office at that time. The new company/job is hypothetical at this point, but I think there's a very good chance of it happening. If things go well, I think I would be earning at least what I earn currently, and potentially more. And I'd be working with people I like and respect (and who respect me!), rather than a complete lunatic.  But it's definitely a risk.

For some perspective, my current boss is verbally abusive and generally a horrible person to be around. He has made a lot of horrible financial decisions (like designing a brand new 4000 square foot office space for 15 people, and now he can't or doesn't want to pay the $9000 monthly rent!). He is engaged in some questionable behavior (certainly unethical and possibly worse), and I'm genuinely concerned he's going to get himself into trouble and try to bankrupt the company and run. When the aforementioned loan officers quit, he will be in even worse shape financially. It will get really, really bad. I'm stressed out and miserable at work already, and I don't know if I can deal with it for much longer. Especially if/when my boss gets more desperate.

So, do I quit with my coworkers in the next month or so and hope we can be successful? Or go down with the ship and hope to at least get unemployment, and then maybe join the new company when they are more established?

I'm also sending out resumes and hoping more opportunities will pop up, but so far no bites. I'm hoping it's the time of year and not just me!

Everyone in my life is telling me to quit immediately and just get the hell out of there, and even if the new opportunity doesn't work out, at least I'll have escaped the pressure cooker. What do you guys think? Thanks in advance. I really need some direction.

AccidentalMiser

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Re: Terrible job situation - advice needed
« Reply #1 on: December 28, 2013, 11:50:00 AM »
Everyone in your life is right.  Life's too short to hate your workplace!

lr

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Re: Terrible job situation - advice needed
« Reply #2 on: December 28, 2013, 12:12:01 PM »
Big hugs.  Bad bosses are the worst, but they never last forever.

Be careful about just walking away right now, though.  You're already having trouble finding another job, and there's another potential gig coming up with people at your workplace.  Leaving the office right now might distance you from the "conspiracy," or cost you the emergency fund you've worked hard to build.

I've been in a similar situation, and what helped me was creating a well-defined plan for escape (with a deadline) and then taking action towards it every day.  You might triple the number of resumes that go out per day, attend a networking event weekly, or make it a point to talk to the loan officers every day, offering to help with their next actions to prove yourself as a founding member of the new team. 

The worst part of a bad workplace for me was the helplessness of having my future in the hands of people I didn't trust.  Having a plan reminded me that I'm the only real boss of me, which removed about a third of the stress and turned it into an interesting learning opportunity to see what not to do. 

The bad boss paid the price of my education, in more ways than one.

Another Reader

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Re: Terrible job situation - advice needed
« Reply #3 on: December 28, 2013, 12:13:30 PM »
Your boss' reputation will become your reputation if you stay.  Being a compliance manager for a broker with bad business practices will get you into trouble as well.  The mortgage business is full of people like that and smart folks know to avoid them.  Business is very slow because the refi boom is over.  In your shoes I would either go with the guys that are leaving or start putting all your effort into finding a new job.  Even if the job is outside the mortgage business.

ashley

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Re: Terrible job situation - advice needed
« Reply #4 on: December 28, 2013, 12:25:36 PM »
Your boss' reputation will become your reputation if you stay.  Being a compliance manager for a broker with bad business practices will get you into trouble as well.  The mortgage business is full of people like that and smart folks know to avoid them.  Business is very slow because the refi boom is over.  In your shoes I would either go with the guys that are leaving or start putting all your effort into finding a new job.  Even if the job is outside the mortgage business.
This is all so true, and I feel like I'm much too close to this guy for comfort, but I do not have any real control over what he does. I'm just doing the best I can to not get sucked into anything that could damage me personally. I do feel like my reputation in the industry is at stake by being associated with him, though. He is hated by all of the outside reps we work with. I cringe a little every time I'm copied on a rude email, or he pressures me to be as rude as he is.

You are absolutely right that the market has shifted and business has slowed down as a result. We really have to focus on the purchase market in order to stay viable. The boss understands that but doesn't know how to put it into practice. The guys I'm considering leaving with have a clearer picture of how to make it happen, with better marketing ideas and (most importantly) ethical business practices. I'd almost be willing to work for pennies right now just to have a go at the new business and avoid a resume gap. It's just a big financial risk. I don't want to piss away my savings because I got emotional and decided I couldn't take it anymore.
« Last Edit: December 28, 2013, 12:29:04 PM by ashley »

ch12

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Re: Terrible job situation - advice needed
« Reply #5 on: December 28, 2013, 12:27:23 PM »
Your boss' reputation will become your reputation if you stay.  Being a compliance manager for a broker with bad business practices will get you into trouble as well.  The mortgage business is full of people like that and smart folks know to avoid them.  Business is very slow because the refi boom is over.  In your shoes I would either go with the guys that are leaving or start putting all your effort into finding a new job.  Even if the job is outside the mortgage business.

+1

Definitely go with the guys who are leaving and jump ship - you can also find a different job. Even though it's a pay cut, it's worth a try. Your current boss sounds like a sociopath.

Frankies Girl

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Re: Terrible job situation - advice needed
« Reply #6 on: December 28, 2013, 12:34:36 PM »
Keep sending out your resume to like positions right now and get the hell out of there ASAP, and technically if you're in good shape to get a job even doing something at a lesser amount that isn't in your field as a breather while you look for something in your field would be a good idea if I was in your situation - working in a toxic environment is poisonous to you as a person not just a worker - because all that anxiety and stress will bleed over into all aspects of your life.


So the big thing is to maybe see if the coworkers can meet somewhere for ya'll to discuss some real plans so you can see if this is a real option for you and what the timeline would be.

You can always tell the coworkers that are thinking of breaking off to start their own company that you'd be interested and when/if that happens that you can work for them... but I'd look into telecommuting and working from home or part time (as needed) if it's commission-based only. It sounds like there would be some wiggle room for you to do what you need for that position until they get it up and running and you could do a regular job (with regular pay and benefits) until you decide whether you want to go work at the newly formed company full time. Keep your options open.


BoulderTC

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Re: Terrible job situation - advice needed
« Reply #7 on: December 28, 2013, 12:38:32 PM »
I agree with the others - jump ship in whatever way you can.

And, yes, it sounds like you are underpaid. Don't forget that taking a financial risk now could pay off in a big way. Maybe not with the guys' new gig, but surely down the line you'll do better if you leave this place. And you're in a good situation to have some cash saved up and people in your life who agree with your decision to leave.

Go for it!

lcg377

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Re: Terrible job situation - advice needed
« Reply #8 on: December 28, 2013, 01:19:07 PM »
I don't have the financial chops to offer advice in that arena, but I have left a terrible-boss situation of my my own once.  I can tell you that it feels like a mountain has been lifted off your shoulders, you can see the sun again, and everything seems more awesome in general.  It is scary when you THINK about making a change, but it feels great once you've done it!  In my case, I couldn't see how stressed out I was in the moment.  When I looked back, I couldn't believe I stuck in there so long and wasted those months of life on worry and negativity. :P

mm1970

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Re: Terrible job situation - advice needed
« Reply #9 on: December 29, 2013, 08:48:15 AM »
Keep your job
Keep looking for a new one
Jump with the loan officers if it comes to that (if it's your first opportunity to leave)

It's generally easier to find a job when you already have one.

ashley

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Re: Terrible job situation - advice needed
« Reply #10 on: December 29, 2013, 10:07:28 AM »
Thanks everyone for the input. I'm totally willing to get out of the mortgage business (half the time I don't even like it!), but I've never had a professional job doing anything else. I only have a BA in English, and my previous jobs were all retail or clerical. I feel sort of stuck and don't know where to go from here. I think I'm good at my job and could probably be content to keep doing this, but the environment would have to be drastically different. It's hard to get any real clarity on that because my office is so toxic and draining. I have to repeatedly tell myself that it won't be like this everywhere.




lhamo

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Re: Terrible job situation - advice needed
« Reply #11 on: December 29, 2013, 10:18:56 AM »
I recommend you try HARD to find another job and leave as soon as possible.

I left a job a few years ago when I had a psycho boss.  Best thing I ever did.  I didn't actually have another job lined up at the time, but did have a "transition strategy" of sorts where I was bringing in some money while figuring out next steps.  A great job in a great organization opened up right when I needed it.  It meant taking a significant pay cut, but the benefits I gained in a more balanced/livable life and the savings on mental health/marriage counseling I would have needed if I stayed any longer made it more than worth the loss in pay.  A few years down the road and I am potentially in line for a huge promotion. 

In terms of figuring out what you could do besides the mortgage industry, I have really benefitted from the advice of MMM and others to look at it in terms of what kinds of problems you can help people solve.  Position yourself as someone who fixes things for people, and I think you will always be able to find meaningful, lucrative work. 

Good luck and keep us posted about how it is going!

totoro

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Re: Terrible job situation - advice needed
« Reply #12 on: December 29, 2013, 10:32:05 AM »
This is a present day problem.  Your future can and will be different.  Keep that in mind.

It sounds like you might benefit from identifying what you really want life to be like.  I've recommended a vision board a number of times and I'll recommend it again.  It can focus your attention on what you really want and where to put your energy in the short and long-term and take it off how horrible your boss is.  Don't give him more power over you that way.

Short-term you are doing well because you have savings.  This gives you the ability to quit if it comes to that or go to the new brokerage and take a pay cut. 

As far as the horrible boss goes, yes, you need to leave imo.  Ideally you would do this by getting a new job or going with the people who are setting up their own shop rather than just quitting. 

I would start with a plan on how to connect with the people who hire at other brokerages.  Are there any conferences coming up?  Any social groups for people in the industry?  In my experience, a personal relationship is much more effective than just sending out resumes.  If your brokerage does not have a good reputation this may impact hiring decisions and personal contact can counteract this.

Long-term what is your plan?  If you are going to stay in this field I would spend some time researching job prospects and expected salaries.  I would also research what else you can do with your skill set and aptitude. 

Hope things change sooner than later for you!

Zamboni

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Re: Terrible job situation - advice needed
« Reply #13 on: December 29, 2013, 11:26:34 AM »
Quote
I would start with a plan on how to connect with the people who hire at other brokerages.  Are there any conferences coming up?  Any social groups for people in the industry?  In my experience, a personal relationship is much more effective than just sending out resumes.  If your brokerage does not have a good reputation this may impact hiring decisions and personal contact can counteract this.

Yes, this is really important.  If they know him, then you will have their sympathy when you meet people.  Don't badmouth him directly, but pained expressions can say 1000 words.  Network, network, network.  People prefer to hire people they know (or who knows someone they know. . . )

ashley

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Re: Terrible job situation - advice needed
« Reply #14 on: December 29, 2013, 12:27:53 PM »
At this very moment, on Sunday morning, he is texting me about work. He texted me yesterday too. I'm not responding and he's getting really irritated (lots of "?????????" texts), but I need boundaries. This dude is on vacation at Disneyland this weekend with his family, and he's spending that time harassing his employees. He was drunk texting my coworker last night. Get a life!!

I know networking is very important. Even at my company, almost everyone was hired because they knew someone. I've been to a handful of conferences (mostly compliance-related), but I generally kept to myself and didn't get the most of out of those opportunities. I'm going to look around and try to find more opportunities to meet people locally.

I do have a real estate license and could shift my focus and become an agent. I don't know if that's what I want to do, but it's an option. I like the idea of being my own boss and managing my own schedule.
« Last Edit: December 29, 2013, 12:29:54 PM by ashley »

Zamboni

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Re: Terrible job situation - advice needed
« Reply #15 on: December 29, 2013, 03:22:08 PM »
^Oh good grief he sounds like a nightmare.  Does he at least pay for your phone?  If not, then this is over the top.  Okay it is over the top in any case.  I already can't stand this guy.

Rules for every day of a conference event:  meet 2 new people.  Talk to them enough that you feel like you will remember them and they will remember you.  Touch base with them the next day again if you can, even if it's just a smile of acknowledgement, and then meet two more people.  If it's an event with meals, eat with new people each time as much as you can.

My experience with real estate agents is that those who are the most successful are extremely extroverted.  Being highly extroverted isn't inherently a good or bad thing, but it doesn't sound like you fit that mold.

If you like what you are doing (just not the boss), then keep building on your experience.  Keep learning as much as you can, but find a different employer. 

Good luck!

oldtoyota

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Re: Terrible job situation - advice needed
« Reply #16 on: December 29, 2013, 03:52:52 PM »
Your boss' reputation will become your reputation if you stay.  Being a compliance manager for a broker with bad business practices will get you into trouble as well.  The mortgage business is full of people like that and smart folks know to avoid them.  Business is very slow because the refi boom is over.  In your shoes I would either go with the guys that are leaving or start putting all your effort into finding a new job.  Even if the job is outside the mortgage business.

+1

Definitely go with the guys who are leaving and jump ship - you can also find a different job. Even though it's a pay cut, it's worth a try. Your current boss sounds like a sociopath.

If you work with/for a sociopath, you have to leave. It's not worth it. He will end up destroying as many people around him as he can. If you really do mean he is an actual sociopath, he has absolutely no conscience. He will not feel bad about manipulating you and others and destroying people's careers, etc.

If you have any outside resources--family to lean on, etc--I would ask them for help and get the heck out asap.




ashley

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Re: Terrible job situation - advice needed
« Reply #17 on: December 29, 2013, 04:05:21 PM »
Your boss' reputation will become your reputation if you stay.  Being a compliance manager for a broker with bad business practices will get you into trouble as well.  The mortgage business is full of people like that and smart folks know to avoid them.  Business is very slow because the refi boom is over.  In your shoes I would either go with the guys that are leaving or start putting all your effort into finding a new job.  Even if the job is outside the mortgage business.

+1

Definitely go with the guys who are leaving and jump ship - you can also find a different job. Even though it's a pay cut, it's worth a try. Your current boss sounds like a sociopath.

If you work with/for a sociopath, you have to leave. It's not worth it. He will end up destroying as many people around him as he can. If you really do mean he is an actual sociopath, he has absolutely no conscience. He will not feel bad about manipulating you and others and destroying people's careers, etc.

If you have any outside resources--family to lean on, etc--I would ask them for help and get the heck out asap.

I do believe he is a sociopath in the literal sense. Textbook definition. He will steamroll anyone and everyone to get ahead. For instance, he is already talking about firing his cousin (his "business manager"/personal assistant) and is having me learn to do her entire job so he can get rid of her in the event that business does not pick up in the next month or so (there's no pay raise for me in this, by the way; he scoffed at the suggestion and tells me repeatedly that I'm overpaid as is). He's not even going to give her any notice. If he behaves that way toward his own family, I know he has no loyalty to any of the rest of us.

My mom flat out offered to pay my rent for up to a year if that's how long it takes me to get another job. I told her thank you but no, I couldn't put either of us on that position. And I have enough savings that I wouldn't need her to do that. But I am very grateful to have that safety net.

And no, he does not pay for my phone. I'll respond to him on Monday, but no sooner. I've got no patience for that nonsense anymore.

Zamboni

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Re: Terrible job situation - advice needed
« Reply #18 on: December 29, 2013, 04:47:29 PM »
Most work situations are not like this.  I agree that you need to get out as soon as possible.  Make your goal for Monday networking with the other employees who are going to stake out on their own soon (and encourage them to do it sooner rather than later!)  Meanwhile, find some conferences or local events in your industry to attend and mark your calendar.

It sounds like you get to talk with people at other places through your job.  Let every one of those people know that you are looking if they have the right opportunity for you.  Don't badmouth your boss, but talk about your positive aspirations.  Invite them to lunch, coffee, etc.  Do you have an office with a door?

ashley

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Re: Terrible job situation - advice needed
« Reply #19 on: December 29, 2013, 05:31:21 PM »
I do have an office with a door! It's one of the few things I enjoy about my workplace.

eman resu

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Re: Terrible job situation - advice needed
« Reply #20 on: December 29, 2013, 07:14:42 PM »
Sorry to hear about your boss trouble. Sounds like you've made your decision (to leave) and are determining the when and how. You mentioned possible unethical behavior. That's trouble for a compliance officer, so if you want to stay in this line of work, get out sooner rather than later.  I work in internal audit for a community bank. Community banks will need "more" compliance, audit, BSA officers, back office loan servicing... all things a person with some compliance chops and some writing chops can nail.  Small/medium thrifts especially are still playing catch-up trying to get on board with OCC's standards/methods... and new reg's keep coming... so maybe keep a look out for positions at savings banks. Bankersonline.com has a career center section. I've not used it so can't vouch for it, but it's a something to check out maybe.

Good luck. I hope you are able to make a change on your own terms. 
« Last Edit: December 29, 2013, 07:17:53 PM by eman resu »

ashley

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Re: Terrible job situation - advice needed
« Reply #21 on: December 29, 2013, 07:24:01 PM »
Sorry to hear about your boss trouble. Sounds like you've made your decision (to leave) and are determining the when and how. You mentioned possible unethical behavior. That's trouble for a compliance officer, so if you want to stay in this line of work, get out sooner rather than later.  I work in internal audit for a community bank. Community banks will need "more" compliance, audit, BSA officers, back office loan servicing... all things a person with some compliance chops and some writing chops can nail.  Small/medium thrifts especially are still playing catch-up trying to get on board with OCC's standards/methods... and new reg's keep coming... so maybe keep a look out for positions at savings banks. Bankersonline.com has a career center section. I've not used it so can't vouch for it, but it's a something to check out maybe.

Good luck. I hope you are able to make a change on your own terms.

Thank you for that link! I will definitely take a look at that job board.

ashley

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Re: Terrible job situation - advice needed
« Reply #22 on: January 10, 2014, 11:10:53 PM »
I thought I'd come back and post an update.

The new company is a go! We actually just found a great office space today, and it's CHEAP (with 45 days free rent to start!), and I will have my own office again. With a door and everything. I'm stoked.

The transition out of the hellhole will begin early next month. I'm looking at my last day being mid-Feb probably. I'm just trying to decide how much notice to give.

This is really the most hopeful I've felt in a very, very long time. Everything is looking up, and I feel like a massive weight has already been lifted. I can't even imagine how elated I'll be when I am finally out for good.

Thanks again for the support and helpful suggestions, everyone!

Self-employed-swami

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Re: Terrible job situation - advice needed
« Reply #23 on: January 10, 2014, 11:53:46 PM »
Yay! This is a FANTASTIC update!

LightTripper

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Re: Terrible job situation - advice needed
« Reply #24 on: January 11, 2014, 02:48:36 AM »
Brilliant and inspiring news, well done you!!

totoro

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Re: Terrible job situation - advice needed
« Reply #25 on: January 11, 2014, 11:36:01 AM »
Awesome!

lcg377

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Re: Terrible job situation - advice needed
« Reply #26 on: January 11, 2014, 11:39:59 AM »
Nice! If I were you, I'd give two week's notice, and use up all my PTO to cover it.  Congratulations on the new venture!

ashley

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Re: Terrible job situation - advice needed
« Reply #27 on: January 11, 2014, 01:32:59 PM »
Nice! If I were you, I'd give two week's notice, and use up all my PTO to cover it.  Congratulations on the new venture!
If only I had PTO! My company sucks. Have I mentioned I can't wait to leave?

Thanks everyone!

lhamo

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Re: Terrible job situation - advice needed
« Reply #28 on: January 11, 2014, 05:17:16 PM »
Whoo hoo!  Congratulations on  working this out so quickly.

If I were you, I'd give my notice Monday.  Get away from psychoboss as soon as possible.

Rural

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Re: Terrible job situation - advice needed
« Reply #29 on: January 11, 2014, 05:26:21 PM »
If you need the paycheck or the benefits until you have the new job, if I were you, I'd give notice only after I'd cleaned out my desk and was on the way to the door. This guy sounds like a real psycho, and I wouldn't trust him to act rationally. It's not like you'll ever want or need to ask him for a reference, and I'd say he's lost all right to the courtesy of notice from you by proving himself to be so untrustworthy so many times.

oldtoyota

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Re: Terrible job situation - advice needed
« Reply #30 on: January 11, 2014, 05:28:43 PM »
Yay. When I saw this pop up, I hoped it was because you'd updated with good news. Good luck with the new job!

yyc-phil

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Re: Terrible job situation - advice needed
« Reply #31 on: January 11, 2014, 05:51:46 PM »
Thanks everyone for the input. I'm totally willing to get out of the mortgage business (half the time I don't even like it!), but I've never had a professional job doing anything else. I only have a BA in English, and my previous jobs were all retail or clerical. I feel sort of stuck and don't know where to go from here. I think I'm good at my job and could probably be content to keep doing this, but the environment would have to be drastically different. It's hard to get any real clarity on that because my office is so toxic and draining. I have to repeatedly tell myself that it won't be like this everywhere.

Great decision, great outcome for you!

In any case, you said you "only have a BA in English". Never underestimate the value of your BA in English. The world is yours, and if this new gig works, that's great, but if something happens, there are a lot of opportunities available to you, especially if you are single and willing to expat yourself. The first thing that comes to my mind would be to teach English (ESL) in Asia or South America. Not only the wages are in most cases pretty good, but the personal and professional experience and enjoyment you would gain, are second to none. Many of my friends have gone that route and spent years teaching abroad, and they've never regretted their decision.

Zamboni

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Re: Terrible job situation - advice needed
« Reply #32 on: January 11, 2014, 06:44:00 PM »
Congratulations!

ashley

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Re: Terrible job situation - advice needed
« Reply #33 on: January 11, 2014, 10:03:47 PM »
Whoo hoo!  Congratulations on  working this out so quickly.

If I were you, I'd give my notice Monday.  Get away from psychoboss as soon as possible.

The only (only!!) thing stopping me from doing this is courtesy to the colleagues I'm leaving with. They have money in a branch account controlled by the psycho boss, and we are all afraid he will try to retaliate and keep their money, or at the very least act extra assholey to them, once he finds out I'm going with them. I think we may be over-thinking it just a bit (he's going to go crazy either way), but we have talked about me waiting to tell him until they close out all their loans and get the money. It's going to be seed money for the new business, so I do have a personal interest in it as well. But, I don't know if my timing will really make a difference, and I'm not excited about lingering any longer than necessary. I'd pack up and walk out Monday if I had my preference.

If you need the paycheck or the benefits until you have the new job, if I were you, I'd give notice only after I'd cleaned out my desk and was on the way to the door. This guy sounds like a real psycho, and I wouldn't trust him to act rationally. It's not like you'll ever want or need to ask him for a reference, and I'd say he's lost all right to the courtesy of notice from you by proving himself to be so untrustworthy so many times.

I'm debating not giving notice for this reason. I know he's going to make my life hell. Actually, I have considered going in over a weekend and cleaning out my office, going in to quit the following Monday morning, and leaving immediately afterward. Part of me feels like a huge asshole doing that (unprofessional, leaving coworkers to take over my responsibilities with no notice or training, etc.), but I can't really imagine being there for two weeks after he knows I'm leaving. I know I don't owe him anything, but I feel bad for the other people who are going to get left behind.  I could tell a select few people what I'm doing so they aren't completely blindsided, but that makes me nervous. The last thing I need is for someone else to tell the boss before I do.

 
Great decision, great outcome for you!

In any case, you said you "only have a BA in English". Never underestimate the value of your BA in English. The world is yours, and if this new gig works, that's great, but if something happens, there are a lot of opportunities available to you, especially if you are single and willing to expat yourself. The first thing that comes to my mind would be to teach English (ESL) in Asia or South America. Not only the wages are in most cases pretty good, but the personal and professional experience and enjoyment you would gain, are second to none. Many of my friends have gone that route and spent years teaching abroad, and they've never regretted their decision.

Funny you mention that, because I very seriously considered doing this right after I graduated from college. I almost went to Korea, but ultimately decided against it. I can't even remember why. I guess it's still an option down the road if I decide I need a big change!

rockstache

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Re: Terrible job situation - advice needed
« Reply #34 on: January 13, 2014, 08:46:15 AM »
Do NOT NOT NOT tell anyone else in the company that you are leaving before you tell the boss. Anything that he might do or say will be magnified by 10 if he finds out through someone else. I would definitely start taking stuff home little by little and preparing your desk over the weekends though. He could tell you to leave the premises immediately and you would want to already have any personal items or files removed. Congrats on the new job!

vern

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Re: Terrible job situation - advice needed
« Reply #35 on: January 13, 2014, 08:53:23 PM »
They don't give you any notice when they fire you.

ch12

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Re: Terrible job situation - advice needed
« Reply #36 on: January 13, 2014, 09:10:02 PM »
They don't give you any notice when they fire you.

It's called at-will employment. You have the perfect right to leave. If I were you, I'd start moving bits and pieces now; then, later on, on the weekend right before you quit, you can get the big pieces.

If you are worried about your colleagues who don't deserve this, give them a method of communication with you so that they can ask you questions when they need to. People get angry when their expectations are violated. Your boss is insane, and he's going to be angry; I don't think that there's anything that you can do to ensure that he's not angry. In contrast, I think that you can take measures to make sure that the colleagues you're leaving behind have enough support from you to move forward. Start writing documentation for them to do your job and give it to them on the Monday morning that you leave. I agree with all the people who say that you shouldn't tell anyone, since the risk outweighs the benefit. My first mentor at my current company left 6 weeks in. Mentors where I work are pretty much hand holders as you assimilate into a new and convoluted world. I was terrified, but she had me read again and again the wiki that she had written. She also made sure that I was as set as possible. I don't begrudge her leaving to go back to being a nurse, and I trusted that she did everything she could for me. You can do that much for your coworkers. If they can see that you thought of them, the outcome will be better.

msilenus

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Re: Terrible job situation - advice needed
« Reply #37 on: January 13, 2014, 09:28:54 PM »
I'm debating not giving notice for this reason. I know he's going to make my life hell. Actually, I have considered going in over a weekend and cleaning out my office, ...

I think this is how I'd play it out:
1) Clean out important personal stuff the day before telling him.
2) Tell him first thing in the AM after that.  Give notice and offer to help with transition.
3) If he wants the transition period, don't let him get away with acting up.  Any time he starts, either remind him that quitting is still an option or just quit, depending on how things feel in the moment.  One could lead to the other.

I don't see why your last days or weeks at the office need to be altogether unpleasant.

ashley

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Re: Terrible job situation - advice needed
« Reply #38 on: January 13, 2014, 11:45:25 PM »
I think this is how I'd play it out:
1) Clean out important personal stuff the day before telling him.
2) Tell him first thing in the AM after that.  Give notice and offer to help with transition.
3) If he wants the transition period, don't let him get away with acting up.  Any time he starts, either remind him that quitting is still an option or just quit, depending on how things feel in the moment.  One could lead to the other.

I don't see why your last days or weeks at the office need to be altogether unpleasant.
I think this is exactly how I'm going to do it.

I'm going to give notice with the intention of sticking it out. I really want to be the bigger person and do this the right way. I am also going to make it really clear that it's only a professional courtesy to my coworkers, and not because I owe him anything. If he starts with the bullshit I'll just leave earlier. No big deal to me!

I'm going to start getting organized this week and try not to leave a clusterfuck for anyone else to clean up. I'm just so overloaded with work and I have piles of stuff all over the place. Walking away from it feels like cheating, kind of! I need to allow myself to detach. I'm starting that process, but it's hard because I will never tie up all the loose ends.

We went to view our new office space today, and it's perfect. I am so excited to jump ship!