Author Topic: Tell me how to quit and leave the bridge in colorful flames  (Read 15719 times)

Slee_stack

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 854
A tome awaits.  Hopefully, it will offer interesting ideas!  Please skip to TL;DR if you want less dirt.

Background:

  8 years at current employer. Lots of empty promises from manager along the way.  No real opportunity.
  Finally 'promoted' a year ago.  Promotion ended up 'do ALL the prior tasks PLUS take on supervisor role.  Told, you'll get 'help'.  'Help' arrived a short 11 months after promise.
  Pay raise when 'promoted' was identical to the year before and on par with the past several non-'promotion' years'.
  I was to have more say on projects / directions and I do enjoy developing folks.  Yeah, the project direction never happened and I was given a pittance of time to develop people.
  Current manager (who is new / came in when I got 'promoted') admitted a few months ago that the expectations for my role were pretty crazy.  With other company issues that had popped up, she admitted my role was something that should have been handled by 2-3 people.
  Over the past year I have burned out and have told her just that a couple months ago.  I expressed my need to go to a PT schedule of 32 hours max.  She said she'd see what she could do, but PT and WFH are 'just not allowed' in our functional area ....despite most other functional areas allowing multiple people to do it.  She said she might could get something done if I moved back to an 'individual contributor role'.  I agreed.

  She came back with a FT offer allowing WFH 1 day a week.... unless needed on site.  Said this was a 'hard sell'', but she 'went to bat'.  She said maybe we could improve upon that down the road.

That was a few weeks ago.

The proverbial 'straw'
Here's the thing...every disappointment has been my fault.  I get that.  I could have switched jobs.  I could have not tried a different even more overloaded role ...  I could have spoke up sooner more often  (I have been vocal).  With that said...

Today I had my annual assessment and I was informed I'm getting a 0% raise.  Since I was involved in handing out other raises, I know that even marginal performers got 2 - 3%.  The reason I was given is that I was moved back into a lower range payscale role and I would be 'too high' above the range if I was given anything.

Here's the oops though:   When we had made an offer on the new guy (the one promised a year ago), I was given the comps to similar employees that are 'individual contributors' with near identical (overall) experience and responsibilities to mine.  Both already make 13.5 - 15% MORE than I do.  I don't know if they too got 0% raises. 

I suppose I shouldn't have been shocked...I've had empty promises all along and there are a boatload of dubious ethical practices my company continues to engage in.  Otherwise, I must just conclude that I've been a poor performer...poorer than even a bare minimum worker.  That doesn't sit well...particularly after humping it and burning out this past year.

Regardless, sitting there, the reason for no raise...was just a bald-faced lie...either way one would look at it. 

My humpback has just taken its last straw.  I called her out.

I told her that she may not know (and maybe I shouldn't have been sent them to begin with) but I'm aware what the two comps make as 'Individual contributors' and that I'm disappointed and offended that she could sit there and tell me I was getting 0% because of 'payscale'. 

She turned red, began stuttering, started trying to say 'maybe they hired in so-and-so higher, could be earlier year raises , blah blah blah', etc.  Irrelevant.  She just admitted a lie and had no where to go.

I stood up and said 'I'll have to think about things' and walked out.  She avoided me the rest of the day.

Let's get Outta here!

So, we are basically FI.  We do have some benefits we are chasing that keeps us in OMY syndrome.  One income is probably already overkill for us...much less two.  I don't ever need to come back to this job.   There are plenty of people there that I could use who would give me glowing references if I did need them. 

The answer is quite obvious:  Quit.

There's some big projects coming up next month that I could totally hose if I walked out the door tomorrow.  There's a few co-workers that would probably get extra dumped on them though, so that part sucks. 

I want to be professional, but I struggle to feel any obligation to a company that is obviously unprofessional.


Is Scorn Underrated?


Here's the diabolical part.  I have a fat guy in red sitting on my left shoulder.  On occasion he jabs me with a pointy thing.  It may be his tail...maybe its a cocktail fork.  I've ignored him for a real long time.  He's put on a LOT of weight and he's getting antsy.  He let me know he's all in on this FIRE thing!

So I've been scheming thinking...I kind of don't want to just burn this bridge....

I want to launch a couple of tactical nukes at it.  I want to irradiate it.  I want people to see the glow a year or two down the road and snicker about 'that weird guy that one time...'

I've spoken up and been shut down so many times over the years, seen too many good people effed over, and just grinned/beared it myself to reach FIRE at this place.  Now I want to have a last (first?) hurrah!

I'd really like to go out in a blaze of (somewhat) comic glory or at least make it as inconvenient as possible to my employer.


I know its childish....maybe too 'Office Space'.  I know the Company is really just 'being a Company'.  Its nothing personal against me. 

This may be my only chance ever to have 'fun with it' though..perhaps  to check something off the early bucket list.

Maybe this ends up just a silly fantasy and I will quietly walk out the door next week.  I'm really hoping for something more creative or mildly vindictive though.

Should I just milk every dollar I can out of them while putting in truly bare minimum effort?
Should I be 'Saul' (Better Call Saul TV show) and make them have no choice but to fire me and possibly give me severance?
Should I take all the 'Mental Health' days I haven't taken in the past 5 years (zero sick days) and start using 2 every week?


TL;DR
I will be quitting and want to have fun at my company's expense on the way out.  Help me tap my creative/vindictive side by providing ideas for my quick or slow departure.


Fun Ideas
I could go in as if nothing has happened but

..... start answering everybody in riddles
.....use my face with clip art inside all my emails.....
----wear polka dots, bow ties, or other ridiculous attire (there is no dress code)
.....start 'learning a new instrument' in the breakroom or commons....
.....use a new, obscure 'word of the day' in meeting conversation...a word that isn't quite right...
....respond to everything in the third person....'i.e  Slee_Stack thinks the best option is to ship it'

I would love to hear some ideas on how to (safely, legally..good naturedly, etc) get going out the door....

« Last Edit: May 18, 2018, 01:52:04 PM by Slee_stack »

Padonak

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 497
Re: Tell me how to quit and leave the bridge in colorful flames
« Reply #1 on: May 18, 2018, 01:30:55 PM »
I wear a polka dot shirt to work. It's a very conservative corporation with a formal dress code. Nobody ever said anything to me.

Slee_stack

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 854
Re: Tell me how to quit and leave the bridge in colorful flames
« Reply #2 on: May 18, 2018, 01:41:28 PM »
I wear a polka dot shirt to work. It's a very conservative corporation with a formal dress code. Nobody ever said anything to me.
That's disappointing.  Maybe everyone is too tame to even comment/ask about it.

I definitely would get questioned.


I do want to make others stop and think 'WTF is going on?' though.

Some extra ideas:


Maybe a wig?  I think we may own a costume wig or two...
...but if I wore more of a 'legit' wig, might it provoke even a better response?

'Rick roll' all technical documents I'm involved with?    ...although I suspect no one would notice....
« Last Edit: May 18, 2018, 01:54:41 PM by Slee_stack »

Miss Piggy

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1328
Re: Tell me how to quit and leave the bridge in colorful flames
« Reply #3 on: May 18, 2018, 01:49:37 PM »
OP, what's your time frame for accomplishing this?

former player

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 4675
  • Location: Avalon
Re: Tell me how to quit and leave the bridge in colorful flames
« Reply #4 on: May 18, 2018, 02:04:57 PM »
Isn't this the situation for which "reply all" on emails was invented?

Slee_stack

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 854
Re: Tell me how to quit and leave the bridge in colorful flames
« Reply #5 on: May 18, 2018, 02:05:48 PM »
OP, what's your time frame for accomplishing this?
Its completely open-ended! 

Personally, the longest I think I'd want to 'play' is through November (extra financial incentive...minor one...vests then).  It would also be a good round (6 month) timeframe!

There's a few things I'd still enjoy doing at work...helping some people's development, teaching, etc...Its not like I wouldn't do anything productive...I'd just be spending more effort on doing weird/fun stuff that might seem 'batshit' from the outside along the way....


It could also be as quick as Monday just walking out....  that would be the full vindictive side just 'sticking it to them' and making the next few months very miserable.  Simply walking would generate a shit ton of extra effort needed.
« Last Edit: May 18, 2018, 02:20:26 PM by Slee_stack »

Chrissy

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 968
  • Age: 42
  • Location: Chicago
Re: Tell me how to quit and leave the bridge in colorful flames
« Reply #6 on: May 18, 2018, 02:18:27 PM »
I want to be professional, but I struggle to feel any obligation to a company that is obviously unprofessional.

They don't care about being professional, so why should you?

Should I just milk every dollar I can out of them while putting in truly bare minimum effort?

YES

Should I be 'Saul' (Better Call Saul TV show) and make them have no choice but to fire me and possibly give me severance?

YES, if you can.

Should I take all the 'Mental Health' days I haven't taken in the past 5 years (zero sick days) and start using 2 every week?

Abso-fucking-lutely.

Fun Ideas
I could go in as if nothing has happened but

..... start answering everybody in riddles
.....use my face with clip art inside all my emails.....
----wear polka dots, bow ties, or other ridiculous attire (there is no dress code)
.....start 'learning a new instrument' in the breakroom or commons....
.....use a new, obscure 'word of the day' in meeting conversation...a word that isn't quite right...
....respond to everything in the third person....'i.e  Slee_Stack thinks the best option is to ship it'

I support all of these except the instrument.  I think that would get very tiresome for YOU to maintain... and possibly the same with answering in the third person.  Or, that one could be really funny, IDK, practice at home for a bit.

Don't forget Peter Gibbons also took down his cube wall and removed the shocking doorknob.  Feel free to alter the environment to suit yourself.

When you quit, don't even quit, just ghost.  See how long it takes them to stop paying you.

+1 former player, I like the way you think.
« Last Edit: May 18, 2018, 02:23:12 PM by Chrissy »

bacchi

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 4002
Re: Tell me how to quit and leave the bridge in colorful flames
« Reply #7 on: May 18, 2018, 02:36:03 PM »
When you quit, don't even quit, just ghost.  See how long it takes them to stop paying you.

Oh, yeah! Do this. It took a week before they finally called out a co-worker on his ghosting. He got at least an extra week of pay.

pdxvandal

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 303
  • Location: Earth
Re: Tell me how to quit and leave the bridge in colorful flames
« Reply #8 on: May 18, 2018, 02:50:32 PM »
Ghosting would be an interesting way. Remember, employers can, will and do let people go without notice, many times for BS reasons, or no reason at all.

Unless it's a bridge you really don't want to burn, or it may deny you future career growth, I say go for it.

I walked out on a d-bag employer 10 years ago giving my 1-minute notice, two-sentence email, to the CEO and COO at 4:58 p.m. on  Friday and walked out. No emotion, no explanation. I already had something else lined up. Felt great. No regrets.

LifeHappens

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 7140
  • Location: SnowBirdLand
  • Downshifting from 5th to 3rd Gear
Re: Tell me how to quit and leave the bridge in colorful flames
« Reply #9 on: May 18, 2018, 02:51:13 PM »
Oh, the fun you can have! How about going full on Office Space? Start wearing flip flops and Hawaiian shirts to work. Refuse every meeting invite. Walk around aimlessly while drinking coffee. Bring in a drill and take down the wall to your cubicle.

I would stop short of cleaning a fish on your desk, but YMMV.

Slee_stack

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 854
Re: Tell me how to quit and leave the bridge in colorful flames
« Reply #10 on: May 18, 2018, 02:55:59 PM »
I appreciate Pizza's sane stance.  Although I appreciate all hare brained ideas too!

I do want to push the envelope....while not crossing any legal line along the way.


As an aside, a long, long time ago I went to court against an employer and I'm definitely not afraid to have lawyers start arguing in court....

....but I won't do that if I'm not confident I'm likely to 'win'. 


I'm not THAT vindictive though.  I have no interest in proving any point in court right now.

I seriously just want to go into ultra slacker (and clown) mode and see just what I can get away with.  I've lost ALL respect for my employer.  They shall receive no add'l respect from this drained rock moving forward.

Just now my boss texted me asking my opinion/insight on another issue.  Oh gee...I would have responded to that...but I'm not at work...sorry you now and will continue to get no response if they aren't presented within MY hours. 

I was tempted to send a nasty gram back...but that would be written evidence...  Nah...on email I will look like a happy company clam...that is slowly growing more and more eccentric....
« Last Edit: May 18, 2018, 02:57:50 PM by Slee_stack »

Chrissy

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 968
  • Age: 42
  • Location: Chicago
Re: Tell me how to quit and leave the bridge in colorful flames
« Reply #11 on: May 18, 2018, 02:56:39 PM »
He has benefits he wants to vest though...

They vest in 6mo, and he marks that as the LATEST he would quit.

Also, hardly any company is going to sue/clawback for less than $10k.  A company I worked for forgot I left (on good terms!) and paid me via direct deposit... several times!  I would call Payroll and tell them, and they would take the $ back out of the account.  But, they never tried to claim the money they paid to the union for dues/P&H because it was too much of a PITA for a small amount.  They probably would've let me keep the money, too (or not even noticed they paid someone who didn't work for them), but I always called and offered it back. 

Slee_stack

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 854
Re: Tell me how to quit and leave the bridge in colorful flames
« Reply #12 on: May 18, 2018, 03:02:42 PM »
Oh, the fun you can have! How about going full on Office Space? Start wearing flip flops and Hawaiian shirts to work. Refuse every meeting invite. Walk around aimlessly while drinking coffee. Bring in a drill and take down the wall to your cubicle.

I would stop short of cleaning a fish on your desk, but YMMV.
I like a lot of this.  I was thinking maybe I could start doing calisthenics at ad-hoc times.  I have recently had some back issues.  I do need to stretch it out to keep it from getting too painful. 

Just because it might look really strange to drop to the floor and 'Tebow' during a staff mtg, doesn't mean it isn't justified.  Obviously, I'd need to grunt a bit to relieve all the muscle tension.
« Last Edit: May 18, 2018, 03:10:44 PM by Slee_stack »

catccc

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1684
  • Location: SE PA
Re: Tell me how to quit and leave the bridge in colorful flames
« Reply #13 on: May 18, 2018, 03:05:02 PM »
Do you have a flex spending account benefit at work for medical expenses?  If so, can you wait until January 2019 to quit?  Load up the flex spending account and buy $2,650 worth of eligible stuff.  Get reimbursed.  Quit.  It's not a huge play, but it's a little and legal one!

I also would try to squeeze some severance out of them.  If that doesn't work, I do think it would be very funny to ghost them.  Good luck, have fun, and don't screw yourself over with the fun and games!

oldladystache

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 693
  • Age: 74
  • Location: coastal southern california
Re: Tell me how to quit and leave the bridge in colorful flames
« Reply #14 on: May 18, 2018, 03:13:53 PM »
come in 10 minutes late and leave 10 minutes early. Next week make it 20 minutes. then 30. When someone speaks to you about it, apologize and promise to be more careful. Make it 40 minutes the next week.

Agree to whatever they want, keep smiling, but don't go to any extra effort. never take work home. But do enough actual work so they won't fire you on the spot.

And let us know what you decide to do and tell us how it works out.

gaja

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1287
Re: Tell me how to quit and leave the bridge in colorful flames
« Reply #15 on: May 18, 2018, 03:31:24 PM »
Is there any way you can help the people left behind? Share information you have, but the junior staff havenít got access to? Argue for raises for other people, while milking the bad conscience the boss has for giving you 0%? Decline all boring meeting invitations and spend the time tutoring other people (since that is what you like doing). If you attend meeting, spend the time making sure other people are treated well and listened to by the bosses. This is a big issue for young women - they are often ignored if they speak in meetings. If a senior (preferably male) staff member repeat what they say, it gets listened to. Use phrasingís such as ďI really liked what Jane said, that was a good ideaĒ, ďI think we should ask Maryís opinion on this topic, since she has a master in (related topic)Ē. Etc.

Or start a union. There is nothing more scary to employers like those you describe, and there is not a lot they can do to stop you. Donít know how things are in your area, but in my part of the world, it would allow you to host meetings only for the staff (no management), where you can have cake and coffee and talk shit, and allow you to have one on one meetings with basically anyone anytime.

hoodedfalcon

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 441
  • Location: Deep and Dirty
Re: Tell me how to quit and leave the bridge in colorful flames
« Reply #16 on: May 18, 2018, 03:44:25 PM »
I am just here to live vicariously through you. This makes me very happy.

ysette9

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 5535
  • Location: Bay Area, CA
    • Insert Snappy Title Here (Journal)
Re: Tell me how to quit and leave the bridge in colorful flames
« Reply #17 on: May 18, 2018, 03:55:01 PM »
I want to post to follow and love vicariously as well. I vote for doing as little as possible, catching up on your reading at work, and speaking up shamelessly until they catch on. If people discount something a woman says, speak up to support the idea and point out what happened. If someone is unprofessional, rude, mean, or lies, call them out on it. Keep it unemotional, just pointing out factual observations, but do it all the same. I just love the idea of the freedom that comes with 100% not caring. Please do keep us posted.

red_pill

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 211
  • Location: Canada
Re: Tell me how to quit and leave the bridge in colorful flames
« Reply #18 on: May 18, 2018, 04:03:27 PM »
Honest answer: do none of the things you are planning.  Youíre upset - and rightfully so - but take the mental health days and recalibrate and then come up with your actual plan - which should bear no semblance to what you have proposed. .  Why on earth would you give someone youíre in a dispute with any ammunition whatsoever?  By all means, leverage your position to your full financial advantage, but why do anything that could impact that leverage just to satisfy ego / emotion?  Why act unprofessionally just for personal satisfaction when you canít possibly predict how those actions could hurt you in the future - you donít know where youíll be (or where the people who witness your actions will be) in five years time.  Thereís ways this could negatively impact you that you canít possibly predict.

Your reputation is valuable and should be protected at all costs. You say you want to be professional but donít feel any obligation to the company to do so.  Well, Iíd say the obligation is not to the company but to yourself. 

Play hard ball with them - hell yes!  But do it professionally. 
« Last Edit: May 18, 2018, 04:06:38 PM by red_pill »

Chrissy

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 968
  • Age: 42
  • Location: Chicago
Re: Tell me how to quit and leave the bridge in colorful flames
« Reply #19 on: May 18, 2018, 04:13:21 PM »
Pipe down, red_pill!  Some of us are trying to have fun!

former player

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 4675
  • Location: Avalon
Re: Tell me how to quit and leave the bridge in colorful flames
« Reply #20 on: May 18, 2018, 04:14:27 PM »
Honest answer: do none of the things you are planning.  Youíre upset - and rightfully so - but take the mental health days and recalibrate and then come up with your actual plan - which should bear no semblance to what you have proposed. .  Why on earth would you give someone youíre in a dispute with any ammunition whatsoever?  By all means, leverage your position to your full financial advantage, but why do anything that could impact that leverage just to satisfy ego / emotion?  Why act unprofessionally just for personal satisfaction when you canít possibly predict how those actions could hurt you in the future - you donít know where youíll be (or where the people who witness your actions will be) in five years time.  Thereís ways this could negatively impact you that you canít possibly predict.

Your reputation is valuable and should be protected at all costs. You say you want to be professional but donít feel any obligation to the company to do so.  Well, Iíd say the obligation is not to the company but to yourself. 

Play hard ball with them - hell yes!  But do it professionally.
OP addresses these issues in his original post: he's already FI and has plenty of people to give him references if needed.  If he wants to stick it to this company on his way out I see no problem with a thread asking for fun and creative ways for him to do so.

omachi

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 722
  • Location: Minnesota
Re: Tell me how to quit and leave the bridge in colorful flames
« Reply #21 on: May 18, 2018, 04:16:54 PM »
It's your chance to practice some skills:

First, get good at pushing back. You're going to suddenly be way, way too busy to take on more work until you get some of it off your plate. Shame, really. But you simply can't do it. You wouldn't want to be rushed and turn in substandard work. Put it in writing. If it's assigned anyway, let it drop on the floor. Defend yourself with the written trail that you warned your boss you couldn't possibly do it. Find a reasonable balance for yourself.

Next, practice hardball negotiation. Find a critical point where a project would fail catastrophically if you were to leave, and go demand a 20% raise. Naturally, this will be "impossible", but just tell your boss to figure out how to make it happen. Tell them you want it this week, you're not accepting excuses. After the week is up, inform your boss you're disappointed and will leave if you don't get it this week. They'll have the choice to capitulate or let the project go down in flames. Either way, you get what you want.

Finally, set some boundaries and define your work for yourself a bit. If you have meetings you don't feel are useful, inform the attendee list you aren't going to them anymore because you have more pressing matters. If you were promised time to develop people, just go do that instead of the meetings. If there's something that'd make everybody's job easier, use your push back skills to inform your boss you won't be doing something that's not terribly useful and that you'll be doing the thing instead.

All of these have the potential to end badly if you aren't in a place where you're ready to walk away, but you are. What can they do, tell you to stop it? Fire you? Send you to HR where you can pull out all your documentation that they've lied to you over the years and explain how abusive the superiors are? Go build some valuable skills and have fun with it.

MustacheAnxiety

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 125
Re: Tell me how to quit and leave the bridge in colorful flames
« Reply #22 on: May 18, 2018, 04:17:26 PM »
I think the best burned bridge is a well organized one. 

It sounds like you are in a good position to know the best workers in your group (those fine folks that, like yourself, are 25% of the staff and 75% of the work that gets done) and you may have some influence as a trusted co-worker/boss/mentor.  In your extra time putting in generally less effort, you could let it be known that this is not the place to be rewarded for exceptional hard work and see if you can get one or two more looking for other jobs.  Then leave the lazy SOBs scrambling when you all leave more or less together.

My personal-adjacent experience was when the spouse was handed an egregious non-compete at a past job.  For the privilege of keeping at will employment, all employees had to agree not to work in the automotive industry anywhere in the United States for two years if they left (even if fired).  Maybe not the end of the world for the salespeople and HR, but completely unacceptable for engineers, especially as most engineers were hired because of prior similar experience.  Everyone had a month to sign or GTFO.  With modest rabble rousing (basically ensuring co-workers actually read the non-compete and understood it) the entire American engineering department either found a new job or just refused to sign and got fired.  Sadly it was not as devastating as fantasized as they were a Japanese based company and just shifted the work overseas.  But it still felt a lot like JUSTICE! In part for sticking it to the man and in part for getting to help a bunch of skilled people not get taken advantage of.

Anyway, probably not the most fun, but it might be the most satisfying.
« Last Edit: May 18, 2018, 04:19:49 PM by MustacheAnxiety »

mm1970

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 6952
Re: Tell me how to quit and leave the bridge in colorful flames
« Reply #23 on: May 18, 2018, 04:26:01 PM »
Posting because I kind of want to follow this.   You aren't thinking outside the box enough.

Take your mental health days.  Dial back on the work, esp if you are doing the work of 2-3 people. 

My recommendation would be this: for the work that you are doing, what SHOULD you be paid?  You know some of the comps for individual contributors (I, too, have been in this position).

What ARE you paid?  Is it 80% of the comps?  Put in 80% of the effort or 80% of the hours.

I guess setting boundaries, as someone else said, is a good way to start.  They need you more than you need them.

red_pill

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 211
  • Location: Canada
Re: Tell me how to quit and leave the bridge in colorful flames
« Reply #24 on: May 18, 2018, 04:36:12 PM »
Honest answer: do none of the things you are planning.  Youíre upset - and rightfully so - but take the mental health days and recalibrate and then come up with your actual plan - which should bear no semblance to what you have proposed. .  Why on earth would you give someone youíre in a dispute with any ammunition whatsoever?  By all means, leverage your position to your full financial advantage, but why do anything that could impact that leverage just to satisfy ego / emotion?  Why act unprofessionally just for personal satisfaction when you canít possibly predict how those actions could hurt you in the future - you donít know where youíll be (or where the people who witness your actions will be) in five years time.  Thereís ways this could negatively impact you that you canít possibly predict.

Your reputation is valuable and should be protected at all costs. You say you want to be professional but donít feel any obligation to the company to do so.  Well, Iíd say the obligation is not to the company but to yourself. 

Play hard ball with them - hell yes!  But do it professionally.
OP addresses these issues in his original post: he's already FI and has plenty of people to give him references if needed.  If he wants to stick it to this company on his way out I see no problem with a thread asking for fun and creative ways for him to do so.

Maybe it seems that way now but itís a small world and allegiances can change pretty quickly.  No one is going to talk about how this guy worked at this place and got screwed so he had a little fun quitting. That story just wonít see the light of day.   Remaining professional costs nothing but abandoning a little ďfunĒ.   But that ďfunĒ could have a very high cost in a way that is entirely unpredictable at this time    Lifeís funny that way.  The cost benefit analysis on this is pretty clear.

It just seems to me that this company has given the OP an incredible negotiating position, especially since he is FI and has the option of walking away.  Why squander it?

Iím not saying keep being the whipping post.  Quite the opposite. In fact, Iíd say if you want real ideas on how to play this,  go read 48 Rules of Power.  But donít listen to that devil on your shoulder.  In fact, Iím hoping the OP was actually just venting. Because Plan A is a terrible plan.

ZMonet

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 200
Re: Tell me how to quit and leave the bridge in colorful flames
« Reply #25 on: May 18, 2018, 05:15:41 PM »
I must say that I agree with Red Pill on this one.  It is always fun to think of ways to say, "Take this job and shove it!" but why would you want to tarnish everything you've accomplished by being thought of as the crazy disgruntled worker.  I say you use your bargaining strength to get as much as you can, make life painful for your supervisors by calling them out on their behavior and demanding more compensation, and then just generally mailing it in.  I have a feeling that if you go through with your plan you might get some immediate gratification, but 10 years from now when you look back on it it won't give you the satisfaction you are desiring.  Just my 2 cents...

Lanthiriel

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 801
  • Location: Portlandia
Re: Tell me how to quit and leave the bridge in colorful flames
« Reply #26 on: May 18, 2018, 05:50:48 PM »
I don't have any creative ideas, but your post makes me realize how much I need to get away from my current company. I am well compensated and I have a ton of perks that add up to it being "worth it" to put up with their bullshit. But I don't want to be you in eight years. You've given me a lot to think about...

Slee_stack

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 854
Re: Tell me how to quit and leave the bridge in colorful flames
« Reply #27 on: May 18, 2018, 05:53:58 PM »
Great suggestions on both sides of the aisle!

I've started to ask what is motivating me?

I've never cared what other's think in general, so my 'reputation' means virtually zero to me.  I do flinch at treating others poorly, etc.  I've always been a golden rule kind of person.

I don't liken myself to being a 'justice warrior' but it definitely has far greater motivation than personal 'status' which...I intentionally try to avoid.

Would I like to motivate others or challenge people to maybe think differently?  Absolutely!


I've always been one of the logical, calculating type of folks and the idea of going off the rails is .... very attractive.

Maybe its the 'Slomo' video that recently watched that so scratched an itch...

Why do I have to continue to be 100% analytical?  Why do I have to keep taking the safest path?

Why can't I just throw caution to the wind and make a silly decision?  I've never really done that... Why?   Fear?  Don't I enough financially already?

So now I'm in a low-stakes game where I can maybe play a completely different role...act completely out of character...see if the only 'me' I know is the 'me' I want to be the rest of my life...

The downside is... what exactly?  Loss of personal respect?  Definitely not.  I wonder if I've been a fool for far longer than I've needed to be already!

Might I not really be FI and I will be begging this employer to forgive-and-forget in the future?  Possibly....but highly improbable.  I theoretically could go to Mars too...

So do I do the 'safe thing'....even if I have no compelling reason to do such?  Am I trying to reach 1000 out of 1000 odds.  Am I OK with 999/1000 odds.  What does choosing the 'safe way' again say about my ability to change, relax, not be so uptight about the 'what ifs'.

These are legit questions I'm pondering.  I hope I don't chicken out.  I may still.   


ysette9

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 5535
  • Location: Bay Area, CA
    • Insert Snappy Title Here (Journal)
Re: Tell me how to quit and leave the bridge in colorful flames
« Reply #28 on: May 18, 2018, 07:11:13 PM »
another way to think of this is to recognize that you are in a position of incredible privilege, and see how you might use that to help others who are stuck in your workplace. Can you stand up for some people, point out unfair policies or culture, campaign for changes in policy, or something else that other people might be too scared to ask for?

I’ve lived a very mild version of this at work. My sr manager didn’t like that I went to the Pride leadership forum at work and came back to talk about the benefits at staff meeting? Too bad. My director supported me fully and put the sr manager in his place. I’ve also been vocal about how our parental leave policies suck big time and am putting together a proposal to give to corporate on why they should be improved. Others might feel uncomfortable doing the same but I am a HR-blessed Special People in the development programs and fast-tracked on my career and all that nonsense. I can use that position of relative safety to speak up about things that can benefit others who may feel more vulnerable. Can you do similar?

JoJo

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1403
Re: Tell me how to quit and leave the bridge in colorful flames
« Reply #29 on: May 18, 2018, 08:57:29 PM »
Go into work but just surf the internet all day.  Do the absolute minimum work.  Take long lunches.  Wear whatever you want.

Firehazard

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 124
Re: Tell me how to quit and leave the bridge in colorful flames
« Reply #30 on: May 18, 2018, 08:58:55 PM »
Slee Stak, we have the same sense of humor.  I've spent a rather unhealthy amount of time for the past 5 years plotting my comic revenge on the company at whose hands I suffer.  The problem is that there are a small handful of people there that I genuinely like and respect personally (although they drive me nuts work-wise).  My boss specifically.  He's a wonderful person but he can muck up a situation and turn 10 minutes of work into 10 hours of work like nobody's business.  He is my inspiration for FIRE.

I'm 4-5 months away from giving my 60-90 days notice.  It takes a lot of effort to get fired in this place.  For now, I'm just speaking my mind like I never have before.  The sad thing is, they seem to like it.

bacchi

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 4002
Re: Tell me how to quit and leave the bridge in colorful flames
« Reply #31 on: May 18, 2018, 09:29:36 PM »
Great suggestions on both sides of the aisle!

I've started to ask what is motivating me?

I've never cared what other's think in general, so my 'reputation' means virtually zero to me.  I do flinch at treating others poorly, etc.  I've always been a golden rule kind of person.

I don't liken myself to being a 'justice warrior' but it definitely has far greater motivation than personal 'status' which...I intentionally try to avoid.

Would I like to motivate others or challenge people to maybe think differently?  Absolutely!


I've always been one of the logical, calculating type of folks and the idea of going off the rails is .... very attractive.

Maybe its the 'Slomo' video that recently watched that so scratched an itch...

Why do I have to continue to be 100% analytical?  Why do I have to keep taking the safest path?

Why can't I just throw caution to the wind and make a silly decision?  I've never really done that... Why?   Fear?  Don't I enough financially already?

So now I'm in a low-stakes game where I can maybe play a completely different role...act completely out of character...see if the only 'me' I know is the 'me' I want to be the rest of my life...

The downside is... what exactly?  Loss of personal respect?  Definitely not.  I wonder if I've been a fool for far longer than I've needed to be already!

Might I not really be FI and I will be begging this employer to forgive-and-forget in the future?  Possibly....but highly improbable.  I theoretically could go to Mars too...

So do I do the 'safe thing'....even if I have no compelling reason to do such?  Am I trying to reach 1000 out of 1000 odds.  Am I OK with 999/1000 odds.  What does choosing the 'safe way' again say about my ability to change, relax, not be so uptight about the 'what ifs'.

These are legit questions I'm pondering.  I hope I don't chicken out.  I may still.

This American Life had a good episode on quitting.

https://www.thisamericanlife.org/7/quitting

It's good to get out of one's safety zone occasionally. "Be respectable, be professional, don't rock the boat." Sometimes, it's appropriate to tip the boat all the way over.

sparkytheop

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 849
Re: Tell me how to quit and leave the bridge in colorful flames
« Reply #32 on: May 18, 2018, 11:11:44 PM »
I am not an office worker, but during a period I call "hell year", I was forced to work in a cubicle rather than doing my blue-collar, skilled labor work.  I was absolutely miserable, and management was doing everything they could to retaliate against me for reporting, with lots of proof, an issue.  Anyway...

I fantasized a lot, but knew eventually I'd be able to go back to the job I love (or a similar one), I just refused to do it at my old location.  So, I couldn't do anything to get myself in trouble because if I did anything wrong at all, I'd be hammered for it, no matter how often it was done by others or how common it was. 

So, some things I did just to stay sane...  I took a lot of bathroom breaks.  A lot.  And they'd usually last 15 minutes.  Usually once an hour, sometimes twice.  Sorry if management was causing "gut issues"!

I started listening to "Duo Lingo" on my phone (I was going to be going to Europe, including a few days visiting some French distant relatives, and wanted to be able to communicate at least a little).  I just set it up so I didn't have to do the "speak into the microphone" portion.

I'd listen to whatever work-inappropriate music I had on hand (with headphones, of course), mostly alt-rock stuff, but had other music in there as well.

My lunch became strictly mine.  If anyone tried to talk to me about work while I was on lunch, I would shut it down, or let them talk and start my clock over.  We get a 1/2 hour unpaid lunch and I would not spend a second of that time with work stuff (I'd leave the office, but still people would track me down). 

I did not use my cell phone for work.  I was going to do a few site visits and my boss wanted me to call her for phone meetings, whatever.  I told her I only had about 100 minutes/month on my phone (which was true at the time) and I would not use them up for work.  If she needed me, she could leave a message and I'd call back from a site phone.  I would also not have work email access, and no, I would not be using my personal email.  They could not force me to use my personal stuff for work.

I did nothing in a hurry.  I did my duties 100%, but not in a rush, and not a thing more.

I also got very exact about how I did them.  I made sure to look up policies and then follow them exactly.  My vacation required some extra video watching, training, a meeting, etc, even though it was personal travel (because it was international and is a requirement for us if we are leaving the country.  We even have to keep the documentation of the training, etc, for several years.)  I only knew about this because it was brought up after my first international trip (I didn't get in trouble, but was informed that it's something I should have done.)  When I gave my boss my itinerary for the day, I included this training, which would take a few hours.  She got pissed!  I got a rapid-fire email about "Why are you doing this? Who said you have to do it?  I've never heard anything about this so you must be making this up! Why have I never heard about this?  How many people know this?  Who's lane is it in to make sure everyone knows? (HTF should I know? that)"  So, I pulled out the original email I got about it years earlier.  I found a link to the policy on our intranet.  I verified with another office that it was still a requirement.  Then I sent it all to her and she had to let me do it, even though she thought I was trying to get away with something.  We had a ton of ridiculous policies, but I make sure to follow every single one to the letter, no matter how much time it took or the amount of resources it required.  What I could have done in five minutes would now take at least an hour, sometimes days, because, well, "policies".  If I was asked a question in email, even if I knew the answer, I'd go ahead and look up several sources and cite them in my response.

When I got locked out of the building (my badge was only good for x number of days, and they had extended that but didn't get the badge date updated) I sat in the car and called her office, leaving a voicemail (to be fair, I didn't have anyone else's number, but I also gave zero bothers about the wasted time).  I think I sat in the car for three hours before she called me back, then it took at least another hour for her to arrange for someone to activate it again.  Had she not been there that day, I would have just sat in the car until it was time to go home.

I'm so glad hell year is over and I hope to never work at a desk again in my life, ever!

If the being vested is worth staying six more months on YOUR terms, then do it.  But don't let them take more from you than they have shown they deserve.  Do nothing off the clock--don't answer texts, emails, etc (assuming they aren't providing your phone and it's actually part of your job).  Don't take work home with you, except what you work on during your work-from-home day.  Microwave the stinky food, eat kimchi at your desk, eat lots of beans and broccoli so you get really bad gas.  Whistle in the hallway, practice greeting people in different languages, wear sunglasses, take all the personal days you can get away with.  Run full virus scans on your computer at least daily if that's something you can do (you're keeping the computer safe!  Slowing it way down is just a side effect.)  Read the manuals for everything you work with.  Leave little rubber ducks on people's desks.  Quote obscure movies from the 80s, or rattle off weird little sayings ("Off like a herd of turtles!" "Handier than a pocket on a t-shirt", "Don't try this at home", "Well that just dills my pickle"...)  Don't speak to management unless it is 100% work related (nod if they say "hi", shrug your shoulders if asked how your weekend was, whatever).

And, if after the 6 months you know there is a big project coming up where they "need" you, put in your notice with a big smile on your face.

Case

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 759
Re: Tell me how to quit and leave the bridge in colorful flames
« Reply #33 on: May 19, 2018, 05:31:17 AM »
I am not an office worker, but during a period I call "hell year", I was forced to work in a cubicle rather than doing my blue-collar, skilled labor work.  I was absolutely miserable, and management was doing everything they could to retaliate against me for reporting, with lots of proof, an issue.  Anyway...

I fantasized a lot, but knew eventually I'd be able to go back to the job I love (or a similar one), I just refused to do it at my old location.  So, I couldn't do anything to get myself in trouble because if I did anything wrong at all, I'd be hammered for it, no matter how often it was done by others or how common it was. 

So, some things I did just to stay sane...  I took a lot of bathroom breaks.  A lot.  And they'd usually last 15 minutes.  Usually once an hour, sometimes twice.  Sorry if management was causing "gut issues"!

I started listening to "Duo Lingo" on my phone (I was going to be going to Europe, including a few days visiting some French distant relatives, and wanted to be able to communicate at least a little).  I just set it up so I didn't have to do the "speak into the microphone" portion.

I'd listen to whatever work-inappropriate music I had on hand (with headphones, of course), mostly alt-rock stuff, but had other music in there as well.

My lunch became strictly mine.  If anyone tried to talk to me about work while I was on lunch, I would shut it down, or let them talk and start my clock over.  We get a 1/2 hour unpaid lunch and I would not spend a second of that time with work stuff (I'd leave the office, but still people would track me down). 

I did not use my cell phone for work.  I was going to do a few site visits and my boss wanted me to call her for phone meetings, whatever.  I told her I only had about 100 minutes/month on my phone (which was true at the time) and I would not use them up for work.  If she needed me, she could leave a message and I'd call back from a site phone.  I would also not have work email access, and no, I would not be using my personal email.  They could not force me to use my personal stuff for work.

I did nothing in a hurry.  I did my duties 100%, but not in a rush, and not a thing more.

I also got very exact about how I did them.  I made sure to look up policies and then follow them exactly.  My vacation required some extra video watching, training, a meeting, etc, even though it was personal travel (because it was international and is a requirement for us if we are leaving the country.  We even have to keep the documentation of the training, etc, for several years.)  I only knew about this because it was brought up after my first international trip (I didn't get in trouble, but was informed that it's something I should have done.)  When I gave my boss my itinerary for the day, I included this training, which would take a few hours.  She got pissed!  I got a rapid-fire email about "Why are you doing this? Who said you have to do it?  I've never heard anything about this so you must be making this up! Why have I never heard about this?  How many people know this?  Who's lane is it in to make sure everyone knows? (HTF should I know? that)"  So, I pulled out the original email I got about it years earlier.  I found a link to the policy on our intranet.  I verified with another office that it was still a requirement.  Then I sent it all to her and she had to let me do it, even though she thought I was trying to get away with something.  We had a ton of ridiculous policies, but I make sure to follow every single one to the letter, no matter how much time it took or the amount of resources it required.  What I could have done in five minutes would now take at least an hour, sometimes days, because, well, "policies".  If I was asked a question in email, even if I knew the answer, I'd go ahead and look up several sources and cite them in my response.

When I got locked out of the building (my badge was only good for x number of days, and they had extended that but didn't get the badge date updated) I sat in the car and called her office, leaving a voicemail (to be fair, I didn't have anyone else's number, but I also gave zero bothers about the wasted time).  I think I sat in the car for three hours before she called me back, then it took at least another hour for her to arrange for someone to activate it again.  Had she not been there that day, I would have just sat in the car until it was time to go home.

I'm so glad hell year is over and I hope to never work at a desk again in my life, ever!

If the being vested is worth staying six more months on YOUR terms, then do it.  But don't let them take more from you than they have shown they deserve.  Do nothing off the clock--don't answer texts, emails, etc (assuming they aren't providing your phone and it's actually part of your job).  Don't take work home with you, except what you work on during your work-from-home day.  Microwave the stinky food, eat kimchi at your desk, eat lots of beans and broccoli so you get really bad gas.  Whistle in the hallway, practice greeting people in different languages, wear sunglasses, take all the personal days you can get away with.  Run full virus scans on your computer at least daily if that's something you can do (you're keeping the computer safe!  Slowing it way down is just a side effect.)  Read the manuals for everything you work with.  Leave little rubber ducks on people's desks.  Quote obscure movies from the 80s, or rattle off weird little sayings ("Off like a herd of turtles!" "Handier than a pocket on a t-shirt", "Don't try this at home", "Well that just dills my pickle"...)  Don't speak to management unless it is 100% work related (nod if they say "hi", shrug your shoulders if asked how your weekend was, whatever).

And, if after the 6 months you know there is a big project coming up where they "need" you, put in your notice with a big smile on your face.

<bows to the master>

This guy gets it.  If you want to win, beat them at their game.

former player

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 4675
  • Location: Avalon
Re: Tell me how to quit and leave the bridge in colorful flames
« Reply #34 on: May 19, 2018, 06:16:46 AM »
A classic trades union "go slow" or "work to rule" there.  Drives management absolutely potty because all their bullshit rules and lack of technical knowledge are used against them, while doing the minimum necessary to fulfil the legal requirements of the job.  Difficult to keep up for a whole year, though: mad respects to sparky.

OP: any chance that in lying to you your manager broke company rules or company ethics policy?  And that you have a duty to report that breach to someone in authority?

Reynolds531

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 298
Re: Tell me how to quit and leave the bridge in colorful flames
« Reply #35 on: May 19, 2018, 07:27:32 AM »
Just wanted to say brilliant original post op.

ender

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 4939
Re: Tell me how to quit and leave the bridge in colorful flames
« Reply #36 on: May 19, 2018, 07:45:16 AM »
I think most people don't realize how much more valuable they can be to their employer once they stop caring about all this stuff and start ignoring all the BSy work that they dislike.

Freedomin5

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 2120
  • Location: China
Re: Tell me how to quit and leave the bridge in colorful flames
« Reply #37 on: May 19, 2018, 07:54:39 AM »
Some of these ideas are hilarious.

Iím more of a ďbeat them at their own gameĒ kind of person. A few years ago, when I left my job, I auto-forwarded all incoming work email to my managerís email with an auto-reply that I was no longer with the company, that the senderís email was important to Company and was being forwarded, and that they should direct all enquiries to Manager at  managerís email.

I  also did this before I actually left the company, as I scheduled my vacation for the last two weeks before my official end date. So for two weeks, my manager would get auto forwarded emails about my work projects. Sheíd forward the email to me (work email) while I was on vacation to ask work related questions and would get an auto-reply that her email was being forwarded to her, and then would get her original email auto-forwarded back to her. Apparently she found it a bit annoying because she tracked down my personal email to tell me off. :D

Sibley

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 3691
  • Location: Chicago, IL
Re: Tell me how to quit and leave the bridge in colorful flames
« Reply #38 on: May 19, 2018, 09:18:23 AM »
Sorry, but I'm a party pooper. Wait until you're ready to quit, then give 2 weeks notice (or whatever is standard in your field). Until then, take mental health days, work reasonable hours, etc. If not everything gets done, so be it. Since your timeline is roughly 6 months, that's probably not long enough for you to get fired. Feel free to fantasize all you want of course.

Padonak

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 497
Re: Tell me how to quit and leave the bridge in colorful flames
« Reply #39 on: May 19, 2018, 10:31:18 AM »
You can also organize a swingers club with your colleagues. Buy some booze and toys and have orgies in a conference room.

albireo13

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 486
  • Location: New England
Re: Tell me how to quit and leave the bridge in colorful flames
« Reply #40 on: May 19, 2018, 04:10:11 PM »
Do pushups in your office every day.

Change your dress style randomly ... one day come in with blue jeans and shirt, another day wear a 3 piece suit to work.

Remove all guest chairs from your office.   Anyone visiting to talk has to stand while you relax in the chair.

Remove every decoration, hanging, etc from your office so it is disturbingly spartan.

Avoid all meetings that do not require you.


Reynolds531

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 298
Re: Tell me how to quit and leave the bridge in colorful flames
« Reply #41 on: May 19, 2018, 05:03:35 PM »
You should do the Less Nesman tape door on your office.

lhamo

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 9887
  • Location: Seattle
Re: Tell me how to quit and leave the bridge in colorful flames
« Reply #42 on: May 19, 2018, 05:30:56 PM »
Update your LinkedIn profile with a very prominently placed notice that you are "Eagerly Seeking New Opportunities."

Request to link with anyone and everyone at your company who you are not already linked to.

ChpBstrd

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1560
Re: Tell me how to quit and leave the bridge in colorful flames
« Reply #43 on: May 19, 2018, 09:28:16 PM »
1) You're already FI.
2) You're thinking about spending wasting up to the next half-year of your finite life getting some kind of payback that is theorized - not yet proven - to deliver emotional satisfaction.*
3) You are considering NOT doing any of the following options during the next few wonderful months of your life, because you will be hanging out an an office playing a game:

     -visit Yellowstone
     -restore an antique motorcycle
     -whip yourself into shape well enough to run a half-marathon
     -help a nonprofit organization that needs your skillset
     -go on a journey to reconnect with old friends and family members you've unfortunately lost touch with
     -give a few guest presentations at local high schools in struggling areas
     -scuba dive the Florida keys
     -learn Spanish by immersing yourself in Barcelona for 5 months
     -start writing your book
     -start a backyard beehive
     -finally see a classic play or movie you've never had the time for
     -put together your family's history
     -learn to sail
     -camp in the middle of nowhere, New Mexico and see how many stars there are
     -raise $10k for your favorite charity, become a rock start to a narrow group of people
     -raft the Arkansas river at the Royal Gorge, Colorado.

To me, the only answer is to burn down your vacation time to extract the fun money and then never work again. The whole point of being FI is to not be owned by a job you hate, and to even bother with getting payback means this job still means more to you than it necessarily has to. If you've nailed the Financial part, the next step is becoming truly Independent (i.e. not having your behavior affected by dipshit bosses in any way). OMY is just one manifestation. Still caring about office politics or score-keeping is another.

Think about it this way, if you had only the next six months to live, would you rather accomplish pissing off your manager until they ask HR to give you their standard termination speech or do one of the things on the list above (or your own thing)?

As for me, I'd be lying on my back under a new moon in the desert, contemplating the vastness of the galaxy with a campfire crackling nearby. The thought might cross my mind that my old company's managers, with their leased SUVs and their jealousies of executives who get to park closer to the door, will never get to experience such a moment as this. Even if they arranged a "vacation" at this exact spot (which they would never be capable of thinking they should do), their cell phones would be buzzing and work would be on their mind and the emails would be piling up and they would be pushing the experience to be completed and be over with because their time and attention to this moment is finite and going from meeting to meeting is inescapably habitual. Only you get peace. They don't. And then the thought would cross my mind that this is a petty thing to think as I'm partially encircled by clouds of tens of thousands of stars - as a tiny life on a tiny planet, present for a tiny sliver of time.

Slee_stack

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 854
Re: Tell me how to quit and leave the bridge in colorful flames
« Reply #44 on: May 21, 2018, 11:04:06 AM »
I've never felt one activity is mutually exclusive from another.

Why can't one 'start a beehive' and go to work on occasion?  I thought FI was exactly that.  Choose what you wish to do.

One person may not really understand another's choice, but isn't that the great thing ....we are all different and get satisfaction in so many different ways.

I'm not ever going to be a Saint.  I'm OK with that.  I'm not a right bastard either...but I enjoy my told-you-so's.   I'm excited at this very rare opportunity that I have.

I am less miffed at the moment and am now in a pretty casual mindset.  I'm going to have the most stress free days I've ever had in the office....heck I might really start enjoying being at work!

I'm not huge on practical jokes, but I admit, I'm going to have fun trying...


Today I am home.  I emailed it in.  My boss responded 'no problem'.  She's not dumb.  I think she realizes she doesn't want a pile of extra work for herself if she can avoid it.   I suspect I'll have very little pushback in the interim.

I did work on a couple things this morning remotely I don't mind doing.  Its hard completely dropping all responsibility.  There's some new interns starting tomorrow and I'd like to get them off as good as I can....rather than completely ghosting out.  Not fair to them.


I did check to see if I was missing out on any other 'easy' money or benefits.  I can't completely be in-efficient.  Its why 6 months is tops. 

I also have a new MIN:   I do need to play mostly nice for about 20 days.  401k match is deposited once per year.  Waiting 3 weeks for a decent 'bonus' doesn't seem so bad...especially now that I get to have fun along the way.


Current Role:   Underachiever

Based on two suggestions from the above thread: 

I'll be channeling my inner Jimmy Buffet...it's 5 o'clock somewhere....and that means it'll be time to roll out the door earlier and earlier...
....as well as coming in later and later...afterall its also still 6am somewhere!

I will be very 'apologetic' if I cause too much of a  fuss.  Unfortunately, my hearing isn't as good as it used to be.  Some things just go in one ear and right out the other.  I honestly think no one will say anything.  And it'll be nice having shorter days.


Research and references!!!  I started that one today.  I worked on a presentation, but gaddumit....there's all sorts of new templates and fonts and layouts, etc.  that corporate has been pushing.  Using old stuff is frowned upon.  Me, wanting to 'do the right thing' made sure to get it right!!!  Down to those exact fill colors.  Did you know formatting for 30 - 40min worth of content entry takes an extra two hours to get right?   I didn't either!   Sure looks da bomb now though!  I also learned subtle new PPT features too.  Who would have thought that taking such care could also be so personally educational?!


Bonus:  Posting on mmm forums does help my mental health and I want to ensure I am as mentally healthy as possible....so I can continue a stellar job at work of course.   Isn't it great that sick time is suitable for both mental and physical health?!



« Last Edit: May 21, 2018, 11:33:25 AM by Slee_stack »

Free Forever

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 23
Re: Tell me how to quit and leave the bridge in colorful flames
« Reply #45 on: May 21, 2018, 12:18:32 PM »
I personally would try to negotiate a lay off with severance package. In my country I could probably get onto EI (employment insurance) when the severance package runs out as well. I figure I could get around 1-2 years of expenses or more using this approach. On top of that I could probably negotiate some sort of continuance of health/dental benefits as part of the severance as well.

There is an FI blog called "Financial Samurai" which advertises a book about how to do this (https://www.financialsamurai.com/how-to-make-money-quitting-your-job-2/). I haven't read the book but I will likely read it or something like it before I retire. I won't be burning any bridges. If a manager crosses the line and starts to harass me or something like that than I will follow normal (HR, legal etc.) means for solving those problems. It sounds like you want to get back at the company and what better way than to cajole them into paying you out a large sum while you sit around doing whatever you want.

Alternatively dress like Willy Wonka every single day at work (don't forget the top hat and cane!) and act as if everyone is out of line for not dressing like you and that you're just putting up with them by letting them wear their business casual attire. If you do this please post pictures!


mbl

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 314
Re: Tell me how to quit and leave the bridge in colorful flames
« Reply #46 on: May 21, 2018, 12:32:12 PM »
Walk out the door quietly and focus on the things you're going to do with your life that have nothing to do with where you've been.

Leave it behind.

Don't act out.....it will just make you seem like an idiot.

solon

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1638
  • Age: 1819
  • Location: CO
Re: Tell me how to quit and leave the bridge in colorful flames
« Reply #47 on: May 21, 2018, 12:32:33 PM »
I feel like everything since ChpBstrd is extraneous. ChpBstrd won the thread, y'all can stop posting now.

Dragonswan

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 358
  • Location: Between realms
Re: Tell me how to quit and leave the bridge in colorful flames
« Reply #48 on: May 21, 2018, 02:38:03 PM »
Other than the dress like Willy Wonka and do the job to the letter of policy for a year, you folks are rank amateurs at this.

My suggestion, my dear Slee Stack, is to go to work in drag.  Be subtle at first, a woman's wig and blouse.  Then kick it into high gear and wear a dress with a little lipstick, but be tasteful and respectful so it doesn't look like you're mocking any group (which is not what you want to do).  When, not if, someone says something, tell them you're the Q in LGBTQ and they are discriminating and bullying you with their politically incorrect speech.  Refuse to explain yourself or elaborate further.  Now you'll learn who's really got issues.  Of course if someone in the LGBT group approaches you, you could explain what you're doing and assure them you're trying to broaden the horizons for those who can't afford to push the envelope or insist on their rights. Keep doing your job competently but slowly.

I also agree with taking mental health days.  If you dress in drag first, they'll be relieved you're out and you may just get to telework the other days of the week.

herbgeek

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 125
Re: Tell me how to quit and leave the bridge in colorful flames
« Reply #49 on: May 21, 2018, 03:05:13 PM »
While all this revenge might be fun to contemplate, actually carrying it out is giving your employer more power in your head.  Save your energy and passion for the things that truly matter to you (this job is not one of those things).