I would like to explore a little more in the "worth it despite [these strains]" and "dealbreaker" aspects of ridiculously happy relationships, with anyone willing to go there. At least two people said lying or otherwise breaking trust (e.g., cheating) would be a dealbreaker. What else? Some sample questions to getting digging in that vein (certainly feel free to ignore these and write about things that feel more relevant in your relationship):
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Stuff like that, whatever examples of "worth it despite [something that feels like a strain]" and dealbreakers. i.e., What "wiggle room" exists in your/a ridiculously happy relationship, and what wiggle room does not? How does wiggle room play in to ridiculously happy relationships?
If your partner asked you to shave your facial hair in varying arrangements, or to wear high heels or a suit or whatever other look, for the partner's esthetic enjoyment, would you? Possibly. I believe in accepting our partners as they are, so if I felt like he was trying to fundamentally change who I am, then no. But if he wanted to do a little role-playing in the bedroom, then sure! DH has never tried to control what I wear or how I look, though, and it's hard to imagine him doing that. Or it going over well with me.
If your beloved asked you for an open or polyamorous relationship, would you say yes even if this wasn't your preference? I would go for polyamorous (sounds kind of interesting) before an open relationship (too jealous).
Do any of you live with a loud, huge screen TV that you don't love, just because your partner likes to have one? No. But he does like to have music on way more often than I do. If it's on, I want to be listening to it. If I'm trying to do anything else, like read of have a conversation, then it annoys me. We both compromise on that one.
If your partner said today that your current home wasn't really working for them, and they genuinely needed your family to live in a broken-down 100 sq ft trailer with a broken toilet, would you? Depends. I would need to understand what was behind the need. If he simply has a preference for broken-down trailers with broken toilet seats, then we could set one up for him in the backyard. If it's because the responsibility of a big home is too much, then I would pay more attention to that. But regardless, I don't think I could live in a broken-down trailer for long because my surroundings really impact the way I feel and I have a strong preference for natural materials--we'd need to fix it up. A charming tiny home, though, I could do that.
If your partner wanted to be "on the road" solo for 8 months of the year, yes or no? That's a tough one, but probably not. No way would I marry a man with this need/desire, if I knew about it while dating. But if my DH had this need now after 20 years of marriage...still difficult. I'd need to understand the driver. If the driver is that he would prefer to live the life of a single person, then he should just go do that. If his driver was a passion like being a musician, then possibly, but even then, I want a man whose family comes first in his life (even before a vocation). But I wouldn't want to blow my family apart, either.
If your partner never did outdoor sports with you, or needed to have 5 dogs, or called you on stuff, or never called you on stuff, are you still game? Yes to all of these.
"Worth it despite" is his travel--it's the only real thing I can think of. Dealbreakers...now that we're married and have kids, there are far fewer dealbreakers than before we got married, if that makes sense. When I was 20 and naive, I thought if my husband cheated on me, it would be over. But now, I view cheating as having many subtle nuances. Some couples have open relationships, so it's not cheating and it works for them (not for me). In my own marriage, I would view one of us cheating as symptomatic of serious issues in our marriage, and if I thought those issues could be resolved, then I could live with the fact that one of us cheated. And sometimes, I think cheating can be about something one spouse is going through (midlife crisis, feeling old/frumpy), and not necessarily say that much about the marriage. (Neither of us has cheated, to my knowledge.)
Deal breakers are things like chronic cheating/lying, deep-seated disrespect, extreme self-centeredness, cruelty (to me, the kids, animals, others), an addiction that can't be moderated.
When I was dating, deal breakers were things like career military (didn't want a traveling spouse, didn't want to move all the time), pro-life beliefs, not liking dogs, not wanting kids, religiousness (or belief that any one god/religion is the "right" one), extreme status-consciousness, and hunting (just didn't understand how someone could turn killing an animal into a sport--still don't understand it, but I like and respect every hunter I know, so I just chalk it up to one of those things I simply can't understand, but don't need to understand in order to respect/support their rights. And as a meat-eater who pretends that meat comes from the supermarket, not animals, I can recognize my extreme hypocrisy).
Most of those early deal breakers would still be deal breakers for me if dating (only possible exception is hunting).