We're in a ridiculously happy relationship of five and a half years so far. We moved in together about 8 months in, and are on our third apartment together. Some of the things that really work well for us:
- We have clearly defined roles and jobs. There's never any question as to whose "turn" it is to do something, because we operate in completely different jurisdictions. This lets us completely sidestep a HUGE amount of the disagreements other couples have.
- I'm naturally very organized and on top of things, and he's very laid back and happy to me run the show on most of the day-to-day decisions. He's completely happy with whatever I want to cook, however I want to have our apartment arranged, whatever projects I think need to be done, etc. However, I can't remember an appointment to save my life, so he books my haircuts and dentist visits and sends me an email reminder at work on the day of.
- We agree on everything important. This would be things like not having children, renting instead of buying, and early retirement. It also includes things like our joint need for peace and quiet at home, so we generally do not have a lot of visitors and spend a lot of time in quiet activities at home. Totally critical for long term happiness in my opinion.
- We both have our own interests and are not glued together. I've been doing various forms of dance since before we met, which includes classes, training, and social events. He used to play dodgeball competitively, and also plays video games and board/card games with friends. We volunteer on different committees in our housing co-operative. I've had relationships before where there was no distance and we did everything together, and it felt completely smothering to me - this is much better.
- We're both interesting and creative people, which means we always have lots to talk about. We follow current events and international politics, as well as local issues and a number of movements we're interested in. We try out new activities often for fun.
- Most importantly, we manage to spend as little time as possible on mundane stuff in a day, leaving us the majority of our mental and emotional energy for other things. Everything boring is streamlined, automated, and efficient. We don't have to think "What's for dinner?", "Did I remember to pay that bill?", "Where did all the money go?", etc.