Hello,
How woud one start on talking about saving money on little things? If she is like "we can eat out a few times a week, its not like we can't afford it", "use the dryer why hang them??", "starbucks at the mall is only a few bucks", what is a good starting point on talking about how some "little things" are not neccessary and we could have saved a lot? People don't change overnight, so what can make someone change slowly but surely?
Recently saw the MMM blog, very impressed. Want to start following MMM and start saving more, not sure how to bring SO along. I am convinced enough by reading the blog, not sure what will convince her. Even getting to 5% of what MMM is doing would be great.
I was in similar situation, except that we already dont spend for luxury but not very mustachian way of living either.
I always been frugal except for helpless time of money I spend on gadgets (mostly $10-20 dollar things). She wasnt care finance either.
To start things, it took a lot of time for me straightened before I ask her to look at FI.
1. Start with excel.
We both sat, I requested her to help me list our expenses - as monthly expected ones (rent/cable/internet/phone/gas/insurance/loan) and unexpected (gifts/gc for functions/outside food/travel), emergency spending happened in last 6 mo and average it, long distance travel spendings
2. Dont start with controlling stuff:
When we started, I told her, that we should observe our spending and not control it anyways.
Once we started looking, we were laughing when we want to make idiotic purchases.
3. Buyer vs shopper feeling
Wife is a shopper (she bought 128GB iphone when it got released for full retail price which is now worth 100 dollars) and I am a buyer (i only buy when it is needed, but would buy the best bang for money for quality). So each time when we buy stuff we make fun of ourselves (again, never make serious talks. Its okay to be not frugal, sometimes its very sensitive to control money).
4. Give it time
Lets say you love starbucks coffee. If you want to be frugal and do it overnight (i can do, not my brother) it will be frustrating. So may be buy the starbuck bag and make the coffee your self and reduce numbers of visits first, then stop, then grind your own coffee. All you need is the 5 seconds of thinking calm before the urge of doing something.
5. Dont push
Dont always be serious about talking money. Sometimes she want to gift her cousin an expensive watch, may want to take a friend to dine, may want to go to a birth day party with $50 gift card. You should not put money as discussion point which then turn argument which would never turn in right side. Its okay, dont push them. Once you develop the habit, show the results they would appreciate and tend to follow.
Mind is like a parachute. All you need is to open it once, it will fly on its own.
You need to go baby steps. start slow, and in six months you would train your mind and mrs would follow.
In my case, we started last 3 months, i could say we are in agreement for many stuff and sometimes there are discussions (she wants to change the new S8+ bought for $500 during Tx giving to Iphone 8+ since she doesnt like S8+/android anymore - I told her its okay to let that S8+ go for a loss at $400 and can buy her iphone during this Tx giving) you need to sacrifice your side for peace of mind.