Surrendering/ReHoming Pets

[JetsettingWelfareMom]

LOL  about the Koreans eat dogs thing it made me think about our Craigslist dog Molly that we adopted in Las Vegas--my husband is Thai (they don't really eat dog meat in Thailand except maybe up North near the border with Laos) but the lady we adopted Molly from DID ask, very sheepishly just to make sure, if we were planning on making dog stew because she'd heard some things about Asians. My husband likes to joke about how good Mollycakes would be but the dog is a great addition to the family. Sometimes I hear the urban rumors about strangers adopting free pets and turning them into lab experiments/using them as bait in dog fighting rings/making them dinner and I think it's just that--urban legends. Just ask Mollycakes!

[choppingwood]

My family and I have all travelled a lot and had pets for the long term, so here are some suggestions. I haven't read the whole thread -- too many reminders of people and pets long gone and situations long resolved, so I am sorry if I am repetitious or if the ideas don't fit your situation.

Some boarding kennels have long term boarding situations. I am not talking animals sitting in cages for months on end, but brought into the house and living as part of the family. You might do a tour of kennels in the area that are focused on quality living situations.

Veterinary offices tend to have employees who are younger, but responsible people who are not making a lot of money but love pets are would like to help out. I would spread the word to every vet office.

My parents once went to Brazil for 9 months and rented out their house, completely furnished, with our dog included, to a fellow who was on sabbatical. For a year, our dog went from living in our house with my parents and two older teenaged daughters, to our house with two parents, three younger boys and another dog. He had a blast, from all accounts. I don't know if you apt could be part of the deal. Especially a place that allows pets. You could connect with local universities to let them know about this opportunity.

Advertise on Kijiji (do you have this in the US?) or on Craigslist for people who foster animals and explain. Offer to pay or to donate to whoever they foster animals for.

Use photos for all contacts. They are very persuasive. Good luck!

[Sibley]

This could be a good suggestion.

In my case, I have two cats, 9 and 2.  The nine year-old has medical issues that require him to have medicated food.  Unfortunately, we are planning to retire to South America in 2 1/2 years.  So we can't bring him with us, because we will never be able to get him the food he needs in Belize or Ecuador.  Luckily, my husband's cousin is willing to take him, so we are financially planning to give her several thousand dollars to compensate her for the expensive food she is going to have to buy.

Our younger cat will be coming with us, assuming she can handle it.  We will plan to do a little domestic traveling with her before we pull the plug, to see how well she tolerates it.  If she really can't handle the stress, it will break my heart, but a good friend who loves her has said she will take our little Petunia.  God, even thinking about it makes me sick.  I love my little girl so much. But the most important thing is for her to be okay.
[/quote]

Kris - I've moved cross country with cats repeatedly. Don't bother travelling with them ahead of time, they can and will change their reactions for each move. Just move the cat, then let the cat take whatever time is needed to adjust. Meaning, it's ok to hide under the bed for a week (or a month).

My first move - cat was under the bed for 2 weeks. 2nd move - same cat was under the bed for 1 day.

[Sibley]

There are other reasons I would find acceptable such as:

1. spouse is pregnant, immune-compromised and extremely worried about toxoplasmosis and doctor has advised against keeping cats.  Yes, I know there are ways around this but I don't put a pet above a child's health against medical advice; and,
2. prolonged illness/poverty/homelessness.

While I agree rehoming can be anxiety-provoking for a pet, it is possible.  We've adopted animals who thrived, as many others can attest to. 

If I had to give up a pet I would do everything in my power to make sure they had a good home, including through providing financial support.  My parents and I have agreed to take each others pets if need be.

FYI, you can test an animal to determine if they have the parasite that causes toxoplasmosis. You can also treat for the parasite.

[Sibley]

Sure, pets get attached to their owners. But we recently adopted an elderly cat whose owner had died and so she'd been at the shelter for several months. She was skittish at first, but she's happy with us now. I think the cats will adapt.

Yes, if it makes you feel any better, your cats will forget all about you once they're settled in their new home. I find it comforting to know that I care about my cats way more than they care about me!

Going to disagree with you. Cats have more memory than you think. My cat remembered my sister after not seeing her for 3 years. Yes, there are some limits I'm sure, and it's going to vary based on the cat. Also, they're not the same as humans. But they have memories, emotions, feel pain and affection.

[Sibley]

Yes, if it makes you feel any better, your cats will forget all about you once they're settled in their new home. I find it comforting to know that I care about my cats way more than they care about me!

This is simply not true.  My cat loves my Dad to death.  She used to see him weekly the first 5 years of her life.  Then I moved, first to Vegas, then to CA.  She is with me of course.  Now she sees my Dad every 2 years or so..  (3 ? times in the last 5 years?) and each time as soon as he walked in the door she was twining around his legs and pruting at him. 

Mind you that this is a cat that whenever any other stranger / guest walks into the house hided under the bed for an hour after they are gone. 

If you had told me before I moved that the cat would remember my Dad after not seeing him in 2 years and moving across the country I would have said BS.  But then I saw it with my own eyes.  They remember.  I dont know how, but they do.

Its not that they forget, but they live in the present. They don't "miss" you because they don't think about the past. At least not in the same way as people.

My cat went crazy when I came home after being gone for a few days. Roommates have told me he also went crazy when I was gone.  Wandering around, meowing, etc.

Yeah, I really think it depends on the cat.  I've had many of them in my life, and it's amazing to me how different their personalities have all been.

You are talking about short term absences. For a rehoming situation, the cat will settle into new surroundings within a few weeks and be fine. I would venture to guess that the adjustment period averages two weeks or less.

That would depend on the cat. For many cats I know, I agree a few weeks, up to a month and you'd be good. However, others I know would either have a much longer adjustment period (year or more), or would never be able to fully adjust. However, for the ones that would take a much longer time period, there may be an underlying problem preventing it.

[Sibley]

I'm trying to slowly introduce a kitten to my older cat right now. What a frustrating process it's been for all humans and cats involved...If it doesn't turn for the better in a week or two, I'll have to bring the kitten back to the rescue organization. Not at all what I want to do, but sometimes it's the only option.

I assume that you've done the research on how to properly introduce cats. Call the rescue, ask for advice. Any decent place will be able to give you a ton of advice.

[Sibley]

  Since rehoming the cat isn't an option, what should they do?

Ummmm.......you DID ask the question toots. LOL!!!!  How about send them this then? In most cases where there a will there is a way. http://jacksongalaxy.com/2014/08/21/aggression-in-cats/?utm_source=jg&utm_medium=fb&utm_term=20150205&utm_campaign=aggression-in-cats

Right. Perhaps I should have specified that they have spent the last six months trying everything they can think of (in consultation with their vet) and nothing works.  I assumed oeople would understand the implied "nothing seems to work to get these cats to get along."

Cats are like permanent, very mobile toddlers. Sometimes they just don't like each other. In that case, once all options to resolve have failed, rehoming is probably the best decision. Just not easy

[Sibley]

IDK if this could've an option for you but I was able to re home my beloved princesses, uh, cats, at a nearby dairy farm that had a mouse problem. they LOVE it and they do remember me. I was so glad that it worked out.

This concept works great for feral cats. They get shelter, food assistance, rodent problem is contained. Win-win. Love this! Also, get the ferals fixed!

Domestic cats (living in houses) - will depend on the cat. Many cats do not have the hunting skills to transition to being a barn cat.

[Sibley]

We have a 17 year old cat who in many respects probably would have benefited from rehoming. Up until four years ago, we had two cats, but when my childhood cat died at 20+ years, we jumped at the chance to rehome her with my parents. She was the more annoying of our cats, i.e. extremely verbal for most of the day and night. Unfortunately our previously quiet cat learned this type of verbal behavior and now wanders around the house meowing at a very high volume. It's so loud that sometimes I mistake his meowing for the cry of our baby.

I would have never thought that we would be one of those people who resent their pets, but then we had kids. Life changed so much that honestly I do resent one more little creature that I have to clean up after. What ends up happening these days is that he spends most of his time in the basement. We can't let him out, because he is so loud that he wakes the baby up from his naps and wakes us all up at night. This has been going on for the past year. 

I didn't feel comfortable rehoming him with anyone other than my parents, who didn't want two cats. That's why we have this situation in which we have a cat who deserves more affection than he is getting. I do think a commitment to your pet is for their life, but I think in this respect the perfect can be the enemy of the good. Because of this hard line, it is likely that I will never own another pet in my lifetime. The stress that this has put on me (guilt, etc.) means that I will probably never be willing to take on the responsibility again.

I've tried to have the conversation with my mom about their future pets. Their current cat (i.e. our cat) is around 14 years old. I asked her if they would get another cat when she dies. She said yes. My mom is 72 years old. I strongly encouraged her to adopt an older cat the next time around instead of a kitten, because I REALLY REALLY do not want to have to adopt her next one if and when she is no longer able to care for him or her. I might have to take a hard line on this and ask one of my other siblings (one of whom is single) to take on the burden. And yes, I do think of my pet as a burden at this point in my life. I would have never thought I could feel this way about a cat, but this is truly how I feel unfiltered. I feed him and scoop his poop, but I won't lie that in many respects I will be relieved when we are no longer pet owners.

Your cat may be unhappy because she is an only cat. And being very vocal about telling you about it. If that's the case, ask your mom for the cat back, at least for a few months to see what happens.

Also - some cats are just more talkative than others. We all know someone who never shuts up.Why was the cat talking? Maybe there was a need not being met?

[Sibley]

We have a 17 year old cat who in many respects probably would have benefited from rehoming. Up until four years ago, we had two cats, but when my childhood cat died at 20+ years, we jumped at the chance to rehome her with my parents. She was the more annoying of our cats, i.e. extremely verbal for most of the day and night. Unfortunately our previously quiet cat learned this type of verbal behavior and now wanders around the house meowing at a very high volume. It's so loud that sometimes I mistake his meowing for the cry of our baby.

I would have never thought that we would be one of those people who resent their pets, but then we had kids. Life changed so much that honestly I do resent one more little creature that I have to clean up after. What ends up happening these days is that he spends most of his time in the basement. We can't let him out, because he is so loud that he wakes the baby up from his naps and wakes us all up at night. This has been going on for the past year. 

I didn't feel comfortable rehoming him with anyone other than my parents, who didn't want two cats. That's why we have this situation in which we have a cat who deserves more affection than he is getting. I do think a commitment to your pet is for their life, but I think in this respect the perfect can be the enemy of the good. Because of this hard line, it is likely that I will never own another pet in my lifetime. The stress that this has put on me (guilt, etc.) means that I will probably never be willing to take on the responsibility again.

I've tried to have the conversation with my mom about their future pets. Their current cat (i.e. our cat) is around 14 years old. I asked her if they would get another cat when she dies. She said yes. My mom is 72 years old. I strongly encouraged her to adopt an older cat the next time around instead of a kitten, because I REALLY REALLY do not want to have to adopt her next one if and when she is no longer able to care for him or her. I might have to take a hard line on this and ask one of my other siblings (one of whom is single) to take on the burden. And yes, I do think of my pet as a burden at this point in my life. I would have never thought I could feel this way about a cat, but this is truly how I feel unfiltered. I feed him and scoop his poop, but I won't lie that in many respects I will be relieved when we are no longer pet owners.

I am actually scared I'm going to feel somewhat like this when we eventually have kids... especially because dogs (we have 2, but one is 12 so might not make it 'til we have kids) require even more attention/work than cats :(

It is possible but not inevitable. Some people take the whole transition in stride. Our neighbors have. They bought a second dog when they had a baby. But I have had conversations with several close friends who felt as we did. Honestly, I've noticed more of this sentiment with cat owners, if that's any consolation. Cats are a much longer commitment usually, and my husband just didn't understand this when he adopted two cats in his twenties. Yeah, I blame him ;).

Dogs might be more work, but they are not as MESSY. It's lovely to go on a family stroll with a dog and baby, especially if you have one person to push the stroller and one to hold the leash.

My main worry with dogs would be the safety of the breed and how they would react to a little person in the house.

I'm not a dog person. I'm a cat person. I don't like dogs who jump, bark at me, lick, or generally want anything from me. (I'm never getting a dog). The dogs I get along with fine are the best trained dogs. Training the dog so it behaves appropriately and then controlling baby interactions with the dog (or any animal) will prevent problems.

I never leave children alone with my cats. I trust the cats not to hurt the kid. I don't trust the kid not to hurt the cat.

[Sibley]

I know it is slightly OT, but I had a middle aged dog and old cat when I had my baby.  Cat died a month later (she was very old) so can't say a lot about cats and babies, except that for that one month they loved each other.  Dog and baby, dog and child, just what microRN said.  Our dog was a breed that is known to be very good with children, but also fairly high maintenance.  The baby/child was a lot more maintenance!

We always have to think of what is best for our animals.  I was considering taking in an adult dog (already had one dog of the same breed), but the first weekend she was with us (on probation) I knew it wouldn't work.  She was fascinated by my cat (in a loving way) and would not leave the cat alone.  Poor cat ended up taking refuge in windowsills where the dog could not reach.  Dog had to go back to the original owner.  Nice dog, got along well with my dog, but the cat was not happy.

In general, cats are fine with babies and kids. In general. Some cats don't like kids. Kids that haven't been taught how to behave with kids will hurt/scare the cats. Some kids just don't listen, at which point they get scratched/bitten and learn the hard way (that's what happened to me. I survived). Patience and supervision are key.

[justajane]

People lie/exaggerate about allergies a lot.  There is a big difference between I get a little sneezy and have to take claritin and I can't breathe and have to go to the ER.

I concur.  99% of people who are allergic to cats if they just give it some time their body will adjust to them and the 'sniffles" will pass. There are soooooo many people who say they are allergic to cats and it's just flat out bullsh!t.

Interesting. Anecdotally, we know at least two friends who will not come to our house because we have a cat. One is definitely legit. She started getting sick once when she was holding our infant baby in a restaurant. She was reacting to the dander on our baby!