The Money Mustache Community
Learning, Sharing, and Teaching => Ask a Mustachian => Topic started by: arebelspy on January 27, 2015, 12:44:24 PM
-
Does anyone know of an organization that you can pay to take your pets and they guarantee placement for them?
All of the places I find will do their best, but often are forced to euthanize.
If we were willing to pay someone to take our pets (and pay for their care), how could I go about finding that?
-
I would be nervous about offering to pay someone to take your pet. They could just be a random person looking to make a dollar and they end up taking them to one of the shelters that euthanizes them. I have never heard of an organization that will take payment to take your pet, but you could ask about paying for your pet's adoption fee in advance to increase their chance of being adopted.
There are many strictly 'no kill' animal shelters but they are usually local so you might just have to increase your search area.
-
I second a no-kill shelter. There should be no fee, and some will even have anonymous dropoff locations.
-
I went through this a few years ago. The problem with that is that most organizations I found will actually pay to help you keep them, but getting them to take them is extremely difficult. Most rescue groups will not have them euthanized, but they cannot guarantee you that your pet will stay in a home for the rest of their life. It's a hard place to be in and I'm sorry you are going through it. your best bet would be to find a family member or friend. That would probably be the only way to guarantee they find a forever home. It is very difficult to get an animal in a rescue group, but it can be done.
-
Google "No Kill Shelter" or "No Kill Rescue". They won't normally let you pay the cost directly, but you can donate an equivalent as long as you want to. (E.g., until the pet is adopted.)
My senior dog came to me after two years in a foster home, with a rescue group that had a no kill policy.
-
Local rescue groups usually will. Ours is the Dumb Friends League but they are only in my area. If your pet is a specific breed, you might be able to find a breed specific group that could help you out.
-
...but you could ask about paying for your pet's adoption fee in advance to increase their chance of being adopted.
The problem with this is that people generally value their pets more if they have to pay for them. Free pets are disposable, which is part of the reason for adoption fees. Your pet may get adopted faster, but not necessarily in a stable forever environment.
-
Most of our no kill shelters in the area were forced to become kill during the recession for financial reasons.
I have two cats, and I'd prefer to pay a company that will rehome them together, versus a shelter where that's very unlikely, even if it costs a lot versus the latter option.
Started with all friends and family; unfortunately almost all are allergic.
-
In some parts of the country, no-kill shelters will be an option. In many areas, though (especially low-income or rural areas), they are already filled to capacity and rarely in a position to accept owner surrenders. If they happen to be purebred dogs, your best bet is to contact a breed-specific rescue group.
-
Does anyone know of an organization that you can pay to take your pets and they guarantee placement for them?
All of the places I find will do their best, but often are forced to euthanize.
If we were willing to pay someone to take our pets (and pay for their care), how could I go about finding that?
Is there no way you could find them a new home, yourself ? This is not meant to be judgemental. I've had to do this with my dog. I didn't want to give him to a random person though, so I ''sold'' him for 300$ (but gave over $500 worth of dog food, crates, travel accessories and toys) and in the ad, I asked to meet the potential new family first, to evaluate how they interacted with my dog. I turned down a ''family'' who insisted on negociating the dog's price and refused to see the dog first. Fortunately, about a week later I found a lovely couple who had just retired (plenty of time ahead of them), they had already experienced living with a dog of the same breed and they had a huge backyard (I didn't). They also understood the money I asked was not because I was being greedy, but rather because it allowed me to be selective.
It's not always easy to find home for adult cats, but it's worth trying. Ask your family and friends and they can use social media to extend your search. They might know someone who would gladly adopt/rescue your cats. This is how I adopted 2 of mine. :)
-
I'm trying/working on that, but it's not going well, thus my question. I'd much rather find a home for them myself.
-
The no kill shelters will normally have a waiting list. When we were forced to rehome a cat due to a family members allergies, we were on a waiting list for at least eight months. I second what someone else said about being careful when offering money when the money may be accepted, but the cat not properly cared for.
-
I wonder if you could charge an adoption fee, but then offer a care and feeding stipend of a certain amount, exceeding the adoption fee, that the new owner could use over time. E.g. a credit at a local vet's office to cover a couple years' worth of routine veterinary care, and maybe pay for an auto-delivery of food for a specified time period.
This way, the adopter doesn't have a motivation for getting the animal for nefarious reasons or profit. Still no guarantees, but probably better than offering cash up front, and provides some assurance that the animal will receive decent care.
-
The Reno Humane Society has been no kill since 2007. They did not euthanize during the recession. There is no waiting list. I have been volunteering there for years. They adopt out over 10,000 pets per year. They do this by holding monthly big events & they also work with other local rescue groups. The cost is $25/per animal. Also when my MIL died we already had 4 dogs so could not take hers-over the legal limit. We found a friend of hers that would take the dog if we paid for everything because she could not afford it. We went over for 8 years weekly to visit until it died. Maybe you could find someone in this situation. May I ask why they need new homes?
-
The Reno Humane Society has been no kill since 2007. They did not euthanize during the recession. There is no waiting list. I have been volunteering there for years. They adopt out over 10,000 pets per year. They do this by holding monthly big events & they also work with other local rescue groups. The cost is $25/per animal.
Can they rehome two adult cats together? Or will they be split up?
Also when my MIL died we already had 4 dogs so could not take hers-over the legal limit. We found a friend of hers that would take the dog if we paid for everything because she could not afford it. We went over for 8 years weekly to visit until it died. Maybe you could find someone in this situation.
That would be nice.
-
They will rehome them together. Recently they rehomed an old cat & old dog that had been together for 8 years. They were even in the same room at the shelter. Washoe Co is the safest place in the nation to be a homeless cat/dog.
-
They will rehome them together. Recently they rehomed an old cat & old dog that had been together for 8 years. They were even in the same room at the shelter. Washoe Co is the safest place in the nation to be a homeless cat/dog.
Okay. Driving them up there will be our last resort then, but I'm feeling better that will be an option.
Do they need any sort of notice/advance timing? Thank you Cassie.
-
You need an appointment because they have you fill out a questionnaire & ask a lot of questions so that they will be placed in the right home. I guess the only thing I am not sure about is whether they will take them since you live in Vegas. Vegas does not do a good job of adopting out large # of animals & they do euthanize so I would not take them there. Also do not give away because for example is a facility here that does experiments/medical research on animals. A bunch of monkeys were burned alive here when some equipment was left on when no one was in the building. They also use dogs/cats.
-
How old are they? How long have you had them? Why can't you keep them? Good luck. I had a similar situation with a stray cat I found starving. The cat was very friendly but the with the other pets I had at the time it was not gonna work. Most shelters said they would have to put him to death soon after I dropped him off. Also some animal shelters will only take the animal if you live in the same community the shelter is in. I ended up finding a no-kill shelter a few towns over that bent that rule when I offered to also give a donation of $300.00 as well. It was a VERY hard decision to make and I wish the timing with this cat was better because he was a great cat.
-
Would Best Friends in Kanab UT take them? They are relatively close to you in Vegas.
-
How old are they? How long have you had them?
6 & 7. Since they were kittens. Thanks for the thoughts.
Would Best Friends in Kanab UT take them? They are relatively close to you in Vegas.
I will look into that, thank you!
-
Can you post something at your vet's office offering the "set only" to a good home. Sometimes these folks come in contact with clients who have lost pets who may be interested in a "non kitten" already trained cat. Or someone in the waiting room sees the add. Through in a couple "kitty physicals" to help them determine the cats are in good health.
-
I have two cats, and I'd prefer to pay a company that will rehome them together, versus a shelter where that's very unlikely, even if it costs a lot versus the latter option.
Started with all friends and family; unfortunately almost all are allergic.
Have you tried the pet section of Craigslist? It's in the "Community" section. I adopted my cat via Craigslist when she was two years old. Her original owner had adopted her from a shelter as a kitten and had the paperwork and so forth. The owner was expecting a baby, and she didn't feel like she could deal with the kitty litter anymore. I wanted a young adult cat because I knew I wouldn't be home enough during the day to raise a kitten.
We exchanged some emails, and I came over to get the cat and meet the family. I still send cat photos to the previous owner now and then.
If you put up a Craigslist ad, you can explain about the cats' health and age and the fact that they need to be together. Put up some adorable photos, too. It might be harder to find a home for them since they're older, but you might have a better shot of finding a home that way than putting them in a shelter.
-
Did your cats originally come from a shelter or rescue? Most will take them back and it is part of the contract. If you got them from a kill shelter this is an issue but almost all no-kill shelters have this clause. I volunteer at a no-kill that does not take owner surrender unless you are returning a cat you previously adopted. It can be 10 years later even. There is an exception though. If you have a very compelling reason besides I don't want them anymore or they cost too much money. If true poverty is an issue, we have a food pantry and free vet care so you can keep your cat. With some very compelling stories (severely allergic child where medicating wasn't enough, owner having to go into a nursing home with no family or friends, domestic violence) we took an owner surrender. If your story is compelling, consider pleading your case to the "no surrender" shelters, even if they are out of the usual geographic range.
Be aware, if the reason is allergies, they may want more info. People lie/exaggerate about allergies a lot. There is a big difference between I get a little sneezy and have to take claritin and I can't breathe and have to go to the ER.
-
I volunteer with a dog rescue. We try hard not to take owner surrenders where we have to take the animal. We just have too many animals and not enough fosters. We don't have a boarding facility, all the dogs are fostered. We do let people sign on with us if they agree to bring the pets to our weekly adoption clinics and keep the pets until they are placed. It usually works out pretty well. You might try asking local rescues if this is a possibility.
-
Do not use Craigslist. Many bad people use that & sell them to research facilities, etc.
-
I would say, rather than "completely ignore a viable option because of a few bad people," go ahead and try Craigslist but be careful. I was recently on the other end of an experience similar to Kwill's, and believe me, I was not going to let our cat go to someone who would mistreat him or turn around and sell him. We had four different people/families come and meet him, asked extensive questions about their home/life/experience with pets, and chose the family we felt was the best fit. They've even sent me a few pictures of him in his new home. It was a lot of work, but I feel comfortable with the end result.
Our backup plan was going to be a local no-kill rescue group that places animals in foster homes, rather than a shelter, until they are adopted.
Good luck to you and your wife - I know how hard this is.
-
I would go with Petfinder before Craigslist. You can use it to post an ad about your pets and to find shelters in your area.
https://www.petfinder.com/ (https://www.petfinder.com/)
-
Having a pet needs to be a choice for life. There are too many animals and not enough homes. Everything you're going through is a function of this challenge - the true no-kill shelters have massive waiting lists and can fill up immediately by getting the most adoptable animals out of the animal control shelters.
One other option is put an adoption listing up at the vet's office you've used. I've seen some success that route and it is a captive and responsible audience.
-
No-kill shelters are a bit of a misnomer. They don't kill animals themselves . . . but if the animal has been with them for X amount of time and hasn't found a home, they often will shuffle the animal to a different shelter, one that DOES put animals down.
Ask about this before you surrender an animal.
-
Having a pet needs to be a choice for life.
This is a bit off topic but I had to put down our 20yo cat back in October. While I have been through the process before, and choose to be with my pets until the end, this one hit me harder than the rest.
I went on the internet under "pet grief" to, you know, see what was out there. One vet chose to speak about pet ownership in a pretty funny way- basically, if you choose to be a pet owner, you will probably have to say goodbye to your pet 3-4 times over your life...unless the pet you choose is a Desert Tortoise who can live up to 150 years. Then he will have to go through it 3-4 times! It was the first good laugh I had on that sad day.
-
Having a pet needs to be a choice for life.
Yes and no. I volunteer with a rescue and it is infuriating how many people will try to dump their animals without much reason or any effort to find another solution. The number of sweet young couples come in looking to get us to take Rover because the wife is pregnant... Rover has no behavioral issues, but suppose he's not good with babies or suppose they are too busy to worry about Rover any more. Or somebody gets a new boyfriend/girlfriend who doesn't like dogs, so Rover has got to go. That makes me crazy and those people are jerks.
But there are people who have serious, life changing situation, that I understand. A few years ago, when the economy was worse, we encountered people who had lost jobs and were getting evicted from their homes and were forced to move into places that wouldn't take dogs, or people whose kids have developed serious, untreatable allergies. Yes, in some circumstances pets do need to be rehomed.
-
No-kill shelters are a bit of a misnomer. They don't kill animals themselves . . . but if the animal has been with them for X amount of time and hasn't found a home, they often will shuffle the animal to a different shelter, one that DOES put animals down.
Ask about this before you surrender an animal.
Yes. No-kill shelters are bunk. That means that they don't even euthanize aggressive dogs that have attacked people or similar. Which I'd argue in some cases is the humane thing to do.
And like MrsPete says they will pawn these animals off to other shelters. The no-kill places then collect all the donations since people think they are so nice and heartwarming, while the "bad evil kill shelters" gets no donations since they are obviously so mean, but still have to deal with the animals that the no-kill shelter gets rid off!
My wife was volunteering for the SPCA and this was a constant problem with fundraising. Naive people don't want to give since they're not no-kill.
-
I placed in ad in our work classifieds for my two cats after my son developed allergies to cats. I offered up $100/cat to the person who took them. A nice young man, who had been thinking about getting cats, but worried a bit about the responsibility, came forward and adopted them. He told me that the money helped him decide to take them because it offered him a little bit of cushion in a situation that otherwise made him a bit nervous. My husband thought that I was nuts for this, but I will never regret it.
I too believe that pets should be for life, but when you're doing 2-3 Nebulizer treatments a day with a 2 year old because he can't breath due to cats, the decision to remove them, while painful, is obvious.
-
No-kill shelters are a bit of a misnomer. They don't kill animals themselves . . . but if the animal has been with them for X amount of time and hasn't found a home, they often will shuffle the animal to a different shelter, one that DOES put animals down.
Ask about this before you surrender an animal.
Yes. No-kill shelters are bunk. That means that they don't even euthanize aggressive dogs that have attacked people or similar. Which I'd argue in some cases is the humane thing to do.
And like MrsPete says they will pawn these animals off to other shelters. The no-kill places then collect all the donations since people think they are so nice and heartwarming, while the "bad evil kill shelters" gets no donations since they are obviously so mean, but still have to deal with the animals that the no-kill shelter gets rid off!
My wife was volunteering for the SPCA and this was a constant problem with fundraising. Naive people don't want to give since they're not no-kill.
I really don't want to take this thread too far off track here but there are places that do "no kill" right. I volunteer at one and I am willing to recognize the one or two downsides. We do NOT pawn any animals off to any kill shelters and would never do that. We do sometimes give an animal to another no-kill shelter that is better suited to its needs but even this is rare. We had an elderly beagle once and there is a local elderly beagle rescue that would have a much better chance of adopting him out so we gave him over there and took one of their younger beagles that didn't quite fit with their mission.
We do euthanize dogs (or cats) that are insanely aggressive with no hope for rehabilitation. These are few and far between. We will euthanize an animal if the vet says it is suffering and it is the most humane thing to do. We do not euthanize for treatable injury or illness no matter how much that injury costs.
The downsides to our no-kill philosophy. We spend a TON of money on vet care. With that money, we could probably build and staff another 3 buildings. We have a very long wait list. We always take in a pregnant, sick or injured animal but other strays have to wait. If those strays die out in the wild was keeping a less attractive old cat alive the better option? To me, once you are in, you stay until you go home is better but I see the other side too. Is it humane to keep a cat in a cage for 2 years? If we didn't spend all that money on the major medical stuff and we let say 20 cats be euthanized/year for treatable illness/injury but could build a building that could house 50 more strays at a time, which is more humane?
I like the way my shelter is run and generally, I wouldn't change it. There are one or two medical situations that I think the money wasn't worth the investment on that particular animal for various reasons. We have encountered many sneaky not really no kill shelters that claim to be but I just wanted to say that there are many out there that are for real no kill and run their organization as ethically as possible (while admitting that every option has a flip side that could be considered more ethical.)
-
Have you offered the cats in your Facebook circle of friends? I got the best cat ever from an acquaintance who had found him as a stray and posted on Facebook that she had this extra cat that needed a home. Cute pictures helps with the marketing.
P.S. There is no way I'd take two cats. Keeping two cats together is a much tougher sell.
-
Have you offered the cats in your Facebook circle of friends? I got the best cat ever from an acquaintance who had found him as a stray and posted on Facebook that she had this extra cat that needed a home. Cute pictures helps with marketing.
This could be a good suggestion.
In my case, I have two cats, 9 and 2. The nine year-old has medical issues that require him to have medicated food. Unfortunately, we are planning to retire to South America in 2 1/2 years. So we can't bring him with us, because we will never be able to get him the food he needs in Belize or Ecuador. Luckily, my husband's cousin is willing to take him, so we are financially planning to give her several thousand dollars to compensate her for the expensive food she is going to have to buy.
Our younger cat will be coming with us, assuming she can handle it. We will plan to do a little domestic traveling with her before we pull the plug, to see how well she tolerates it. If she really can't handle the stress, it will break my heart, but a good friend who loves her has said she will take our little Petunia. God, even thinking about it makes me sick. I love my little girl so much. But the most important thing is for her to be okay.
-
Having a pet needs to be a choice for life. There are too many animals and not enough homes. Everything you're going through is a function of this challenge - the true no-kill shelters have massive waiting lists and can fill up immediately by getting the most adoptable animals out of the animal control shelters.
One other option is put an adoption listing up at the vet's office you've used. I've seen some success that route and it is a captive and responsible audience.
People's lives change in unexpected ways, we had a horrendous time when my partner turned out to be allergic to the cat we had adopted (he's fine with most cats but for some reason this cat's fur triggered a previously unknown allergy). Fortunately our vet fell in love with her so we were confident in her new home (and she had a happy life bossing around a Doberman and a small child) but I can imagine some other situations that could have turned out much worse.
Sorry that you in this position arebelspy, I hope things work out for you and your moggies.
-
I really don't want to take this thread too far off track here but there are places that do "no kill" right. I volunteer at one and I am willing to recognize the one or two downsides. We do NOT pawn any animals off to any kill shelters and would never do that. We do sometimes give an animal to another no-kill shelter that is better suited to its needs but even this is rare. We had an elderly beagle once and there is a local elderly beagle rescue that would have a much better chance of adopting him out so we gave him over there and took one of their younger beagles that didn't quite fit with their mission.
We do euthanize dogs (or cats) that are insanely aggressive with no hope for rehabilitation. These are few and far between. We will euthanize an animal if the vet says it is suffering and it is the most humane thing to do. We do not euthanize for treatable injury or illness no matter how much that injury costs.
The downsides to our no-kill philosophy. We spend a TON of money on vet care. With that money, we could probably build and staff another 3 buildings. We have a very long wait list. We always take in a pregnant, sick or injured animal but other strays have to wait. If those strays die out in the wild was keeping a less attractive old cat alive the better option? To me, once you are in, you stay until you go home is better but I see the other side too. Is it humane to keep a cat in a cage for 2 years? If we didn't spend all that money on the major medical stuff and we let say 20 cats be euthanized/year for treatable illness/injury but could build a building that could house 50 more strays at a time, which is more humane?
I like the way my shelter is run and generally, I wouldn't change it. There are one or two medical situations that I think the money wasn't worth the investment on that particular animal for various reasons. We have encountered many sneaky not really no kill shelters that claim to be but I just wanted to say that there are many out there that are for real no kill and run their organization as ethically as possible (while admitting that every option has a flip side that could be considered more ethical.)
Our local no kill shelter solves the older cats/cats with medical issues problem to a certain extent by fostering cats (i.e. you take the cat home and pay for food etc but the shelter pays medical expenses), it's still expensive but it could give an older cat some decent quality of life.
-
I really don't want to take this thread too far off track here but there are places that do "no kill" right. I volunteer at one and I am willing to recognize the one or two downsides. We do NOT pawn any animals off to any kill shelters and would never do that. We do sometimes give an animal to another no-kill shelter that is better suited to its needs but even this is rare. We had an elderly beagle once and there is a local elderly beagle rescue that would have a much better chance of adopting him out so we gave him over there and took one of their younger beagles that didn't quite fit with their mission.
We do euthanize dogs (or cats) that are insanely aggressive with no hope for rehabilitation. These are few and far between. We will euthanize an animal if the vet says it is suffering and it is the most humane thing to do. We do not euthanize for treatable injury or illness no matter how much that injury costs.
The downsides to our no-kill philosophy. We spend a TON of money on vet care. With that money, we could probably build and staff another 3 buildings. We have a very long wait list. We always take in a pregnant, sick or injured animal but other strays have to wait. If those strays die out in the wild was keeping a less attractive old cat alive the better option? To me, once you are in, you stay until you go home is better but I see the other side too. Is it humane to keep a cat in a cage for 2 years? If we didn't spend all that money on the major medical stuff and we let say 20 cats be euthanized/year for treatable illness/injury but could build a building that could house 50 more strays at a time, which is more humane?
I like the way my shelter is run and generally, I wouldn't change it. There are one or two medical situations that I think the money wasn't worth the investment on that particular animal for various reasons. We have encountered many sneaky not really no kill shelters that claim to be but I just wanted to say that there are many out there that are for real no kill and run their organization as ethically as possible (while admitting that every option has a flip side that could be considered more ethical.)
Our local no kill shelter solves the older cats/cats with medical issues problem to a certain extent by fostering cats (i.e. you take the cat home and pay for food etc but the shelter pays medical expenses), it's still expensive but it could give an older cat some decent quality of life.
I just want to say, thank you for volunteering. It must be emotionally distressing on a level I can't even imagine to euthanize an animal that has no hope for rehabilitation. Warm fuzzies and good thoughts aside, being willing to make hard decisions that no one wants to must be so incredibly emotionally taxing. I know I wouldn't want to. Thank you from the bottom of my animal loving heart.
-
Asp, could they rotate through a set of people's homes, with you covering expenses? I don't know why you need to give them up but I know my aunt kept a dog for a while like that.
-
[/quote]
I just want to say, thank you for volunteering. It must be emotionally distressing on a level I can't even imagine to euthanize an animal that has no hope for rehabilitation. Warm fuzzies and good thoughts aside, being willing to make hard decisions that no one wants to must be so incredibly emotionally taxing. I know I wouldn't want to. Thank you from the bottom of my animal loving heart.
[/quote]
Luckily, I don't have to make that decision!! We are all still very sad when it happens though.
[/quote]
Our local no kill shelter solves the older cats/cats with medical issues problem to a certain extent by fostering cats (i.e. you take the cat home and pay for food etc but the shelter pays medical expenses), it's still expensive but it could give an older cat some decent quality of life.
[/quote]
We do that too. We do a lot of "long term foster" arrangements and medical fosters.
-
There are also some pet sanctuaries out there that will take animals in for life, usually for a fee. You have to be cautious, because many so-called sanctuaries are actually pet hoarders. There are legit ones though.
-
No-kill shelters are a bit of a misnomer. They don't kill animals themselves . . . but if the animal has been with them for X amount of time and hasn't found a home, they often will shuffle the animal to a different shelter, one that DOES put animals down.
Ask about this before you surrender an animal.
Not always. One local group has a dog they have had for over 5 years because a little too much aggression. Just recently, they paid for the dog to be sent away for intensive behavioral training. They reported that he did great. I haven't heard if it helped him get adopted.
-
Arebelspy: I also suggest advertising with your Facebook friends (or if you don't have a Facebook account, do you have an animal-loving friend who does and post for you with cute pics of the cats and can provide a kitty-reference of what their behavior and personality is like?)
We adopted our 2 cats from one of DH's friends whose toddler's cat allergies was making him noticeably sick plus hives etc. both cats were 3 years old and DH had looked after them and we knew they were gentle cats. His friends advertised on Facebook, we thought about it for a week then said yes.
-
Having a pet needs to be a choice for life.
Rover has no behavioral issues, but suppose he's not good with babies or suppose they are too busy to worry about Rover any more. Or somebody gets a new boyfriend/girlfriend who doesn't like dogs, so Rover has got to go. That makes me crazy and those people are jerks.
So true
But there are people who have serious, life changing situation, that I understand. A few years ago, when the economy was worse, we encountered people who had lost jobs and were getting evicted from their homes and were forced to move into places that wouldn't take dogs, or people whose kids have developed serious, untreatable allergies. Yes, in some circumstances pets do need to be rehomed.
Losing a job and being forced to move is not a reason to get rid of a pet. You need to make smarter decisions. And look for places that take pets. Pets are a commitment for life. Period. Know that going into the pet acquisition process.
If you have to move, you take the pet. Ends of story.
It's all about education and making smarter decisions. It's not the cats fault you overextended yourself and took an interest only Balloon loan on a McMansion. You should not have done that.
If you are so poor with money management that you can't afford to feed a pet if you were to lose your job, don't get a pet.
If you loses your shiny fancy pants job, and can't get another one. Go work at Walmart. Suck it up, get a job, and feed / house the companion that you committed to.
This is the most important thing in any lifestyle change, financial or any other change. Mentally commit and don't back down. Make a mental change. You would not give away you kid, or your parent if you lost a job would you? Why would you give away a pet? You can find a way to keep your pet, you just need to make a sacrifice. None of this woe is me.
-
I say do post an ad on craigslist. We found our dog-share family this way and they are wonderful.
I would investigate the home circumstances and maybe you want to remain the place they can leave the cats if they go on vacation if this is possible? This is a bonus for the new family and permits you to remain in contact.
I do agree with assisting with costs for the pets on an ongoing basis. In our dog-share we share vet visits and grooming and it works out well.
-
People lie/exaggerate about allergies a lot. There is a big difference between I get a little sneezy and have to take claritin and I can't breathe and have to go to the ER.
I concur. 99% of people who are allergic to cats if they just give it some time their body will adjust to them and the 'sniffles" will pass. There are soooooo many people who say they are allergic to cats and it's just flat out bullsh!t.
-
I vote for Craigslist also. We got the most awesome dog ever from there--the shelters weren't that good for us because in Vegas it seemed to be 75% pitbull mixes (too boxy for the toddler) and 25% chihahaus (a bit yappy and I've heard not great with kids). We searched far and wide for a few weeks just looking for "any old mutt." Harder to find her than you think but I'm so grateful I went the Craigslist route...it gave peace of mind to Molly's former owners to interview my family and make sure we were a good fit (they'd had one other person turn the poor dog back into them after a day). It's not about money it's about putting in the time...
-
Having a pet needs to be a choice for life.
Yes and no. I volunteer with a rescue and it is infuriating how many people will try to dump their animals without much reason or any effort to find another solution. The number of sweet young couples come in looking to get us to take Rover because the wife is pregnant... Rover has no behavioral issues, but suppose he's not good with babies or suppose they are too busy to worry about Rover any more. Or somebody gets a new boyfriend/girlfriend who doesn't like dogs, so Rover has got to go. That makes me crazy and those people are jerks.
I concur. In most cases if you can abandon/surrender a pet to a shelter then you really never loved the animal. If you did then giving up your pet would never even be an option.
-
I disagree with that statement. Giving up a pet does not mean you did not love them or they are unwanted. Not ensuring a successful rehoming is less understandable on my part. I would think that the decision to rehome is pretty stressful. We had circumstances that made it difficult to keep our dog. Luckily, we were able to find a family to share our pet with us and it has worked out wonderfully for us all.
-
Our local humane society is much like Blonde Lawyers. We do not euthanize unless the animal is aggressive. When we are full we work with other local rescue groups to take animals until we have space & we do the same for them. WE also have many foster homes. Sometimes it takes 2 years for a cat to get adopted but we certainly do not send them somewhere else to be killed. I agree that pets are for life except if you truly are horribly allergic or your child is etc. I agree that you don't give up your kid when you have one & a pet should not be any different. Our HS gives food to people that can't afford to buy it so they can keep their animals. We drove halfway across the country to pick up my son's old, big dog because he was traveling so much for work that is was not fair for the dog. Also I am allergic to him which is why my other dogs have hair & not fur because they don't bother my allergies. In just under a year he had a few medical problems that cost $3000. He has been worth every dime. A pit in a park started to attack me & Noki got between the dog & I & fought like crazy until the pit's owner came. I would have been really hurt without him-priceless!!
-
Thank you totoro, I was going to say the same thing. Arebelspy is obviously trying to do the right thing for his cats, comes here to ask for help, and people jump down his throat saying he must have never loved them? I thought this community was more open-minded than that. Judging and piling on the guilt is not helpful.
-
I am sure that is why he did not state the reason because if it was not incredible it would be attacked. I gave good advice on some options but yes I am a huge animal lover & barring extreme allergy, death or going into a nursing home I think people once they commit to a pet should finish the commitment. I really wish more people would think through the possibilities before adopting because it is hard on a animal to be rehomed or go to a shelter. It causes major anxiety that may last there entire lives.
-
There are other reasons I would find acceptable such as:
1. spouse is pregnant, immune-compromised and extremely worried about toxoplasmosis and doctor has advised against keeping cats. Yes, I know there are ways around this but I don't put a pet above a child's health against medical advice; and,
2. prolonged illness/poverty/homelessness.
While I agree rehoming can be anxiety-provoking for a pet, it is possible. We've adopted animals who thrived, as many others can attest to.
If I had to give up a pet I would do everything in my power to make sure they had a good home, including through providing financial support. My parents and I have agreed to take each others pets if need be.
-
Thank you totoro, I was going to say the same thing. Arebelspy is obviously trying to do the right thing for his cats, comes here to ask for help, and people jump down his throat saying he must have never loved them? I thought this community was more open-minded than that. Judging and piling on the guilt is not helpful.
Seconded. Obviously he cares about his animals, otherwise he could just ditch them at the door of an animal shelter, which unfortunately happens. I've worked in animal rescue for 6 years now, and I totally understand people needing to rehome a pet. Usually there are a lot of tears involved. All that's important is that it's done responsibly, which he is doing.
I am assuming that the rehoming is necessary due to the impending long term overseas travel that him and his spouse are planning for when they leave their jobs.
Good luck, ARS! Maybe a friend of a friend via Facebook would be most fruitful if area shelters have countdown clocks. It sounds like it's much easier up in the northeast. At my shelter, we're not technically 'no-kill' (really aggressive dogs, and pets at the end of their life are euthanized) but any pet we take in gets to stay as long as necessary until they find a new home. Sometimes a no-kill shelter is able to be a no-kill shelter because they have really strict guidelines on what pets the accept (and long wait lists.) My shelter is affiliated with the city, so we get all sorts of characters. And yes, we spend lots on vet care.
-
Have you been able to find a home or rescue for your cats?
(I have not read the whole thread) I volunteer for a no-kill humane society and run the cat program with 3 others, although not anywhere near you. My thoughts/questions:
It is more difficult to place a pair of adults together, but not impossible.
Try craigslist, but be very thorough in your evaluation of a potential home. Include a visit to the home.
Try Rescueme.org.
What is your timeline? You may find a shelter that will list your cats on petfinder.com through their organization while the cats remain with you. Would help exposure.
Have your cats been indoor only? Or indoor/outdoor?
Feel free to PM me.
-
Try craigslist, but be very thorough in your evaluation of a potential home. Include a visit to the home.
I cannot stress how bad of an idea it is to list pets on Craigslist. That's how dog-fighting rings get their "bait" animals. The dog-fighters send their sweet-looking girlfriends to pick up the dogs and cats and then they are brought home to be killed by the fighting dogs. Do not list your pets on Craigslist unless you want them to die a gruesome and painful death.
-
Try craigslist, but be very thorough in your evaluation of a potential home. Include a visit to the home.
I cannot stress how bad of an idea it is to list pets on Craigslist. That's how dog-fighting rings get their "bait" animals. The dog-fighters send their sweet-looking girlfriends to pick up the dogs and cats and then they are brought home to be killed by the fighting dogs. Do not list your pets on Craigslist unless you want them to die a gruesome and painful death.
I would imagine that depends on your area?
I found a sweet, beautiful dog on Craigslist and gave her a great home for about six months, but unfortunately we had to give her to an old friend recently because she started getting into fights with one of my other dogs and none of our behavioral modification tactics were working (and these were 2 100 lb Great Dane females -- I physically cannot separate them and my husband barely could). She was healthier, happier, and safer here than she was in the home I got her from, and she's at a forever home now with a girl I've known since I was 6 years old.
The family we got her from asked and received photos of our house, and our other dogs, called my vet to get a reference, etc etc. We were emailing back and forth for at least a week and a half before I went and picked Rogue up. If we had lived closer (I made a 1.5 hr one way drive), they would have physically come to my house to 'inspect' it. They really did their homework and it was obvious they cared about her, but were struggling to provide her a great home (a lot of people get overwhelmed with giant breeds...).
It's kind of insulting to those of us who have taken pets in from Craigslist for you to categorically say that everyone on Craigslist is a dog fighter.
If you really do your homework on a potential home, you can find a good one on Craigslist.
-
Try craigslist, but be very thorough in your evaluation of a potential home. Include a visit to the home
I cannot stress how bad of an idea it is to list pets on Craigslist. That's how dog-fighting rings get their "bait" animals. The dog-fighters send their sweet-looking girlfriends to pick up the dogs and cats and then they are brought home to be killed by the fighting dogs. Do not list your pets on Craigslist unless you want them to die a gruesome and painful death.
This is a gross exaggeration.
Take some steps to check the home circumstances out. Maybe charge a rehoming fee and also offer period payments for care for a period of time going forward.
We found our dog-share family on CL.
While it appears that in the US dog fighting is a concern, it is not where I live. At all. Nor is medical research. If these are real risks in the US get whomever is adopting to provide ID and request a follow-up visit with the animal to make sure they are doing well. I would have no problem with this request.
As far as I am aware medical research animals in Canada are provided through breeders who provide uniform genetic characteristics. This also sounds terrible and I disagree with it, but your pet is not at risk of being sold for medical research if you sell on CL in Canada.
The biggest risk in rehoming here is that the animal is not well cared for or subsequently given up to a shelter (which, btw, cannot legally provide these animals for medical research to anyone but they can euthanize them). I believe that these risks can be controlled for somewhat by asking some questions and using good judgment.
-
Try craigslist, but be very thorough in your evaluation of a potential home. Include a visit to the home
I cannot stress how bad of an idea it is to list pets on Craigslist. That's how dog-fighting rings get their "bait" animals. The dog-fighters send their sweet-looking girlfriends to pick up the dogs and cats and then they are brought home to be killed by the fighting dogs. Do not list your pets on Craigslist unless you want them to die a gruesome and painful death.
This is a gross exaggeration.
Take some steps to check the home circumstances out. Maybe charge a rehoming fee and also offer period payments for care for a period of time going forward.
We found our dog-share family on CL.
While it appears that in the US dog fighting is a concern, it is not where I live. At all. Nor is medical research. If these are real risks in the US get whomever is adopting to provide ID and request a follow-up visit with the animal to make sure they are doing well. I would have no problem with this request.
As far as I am aware medical research animals in Canada are provided through breeders who provide uniform genetic characteristics. This also sounds terrible and I disagree with it, but your pet is not at risk of being sold for medical research if you sell on CL in Canada.
The biggest risk in rehoming here is that the animal is not well cared for or subsequently given up to a shelter (which, btw, cannot legally provide these animals for medical research to anyone but they can euthanize them). I believe that these risks can be controlled for somewhat by asking some questions and using good judgment.
It is the same in the US. Dogs and cats are breed the same way for research.
-
There are other reasons I would find acceptable such as:
1. spouse is pregnant, immune-compromised and extremely worried about toxoplasmosis and doctor has advised against keeping cats. Yes, I know there are ways around this but I don't put a pet above a child's health against medical advice; and,
2. prolonged illness/poverty/homelessness.
While I agree rehoming can be anxiety-provoking for a pet, it is possible. We've adopted animals who thrived, as many others can attest to.
If I had to give up a pet I would do everything in my power to make sure they had a good home, including through providing financial support. My parents and I have agreed to take each others pets if need be.
Number 1 is a really antiquated view and I wouldn't trust a doctor with that opinion. Most people who grew up with cats are now immune to that disease anyway. You can be tested for the immunities if you are really worried. The Non pregnant partner can also handle the litter box. Kids that go to daycare are riddled with disease. We don't rehome them if we are pregnant do we? Worst case find a 9 month foster but it really is unnecessary.
-
Yes, maybe a nine-month foster is a good alternative.
People who grew up with cats are not all immune to toxoplasmosis though. Nine out of ten expectant mothers in NA are not immune: http://www.pamf.org/serology/brochure.html. Even with immunity, if you are immune-compromised you can get it.
-
Apologies if someone said this -- I skipped a lot of kill-shelter talk -- but if you have used the same veterinary place for all the cats' lives, maybe the actual clinic would adopt them if they are really sweet cats, or one of the technicians / vets would. Everyone at my vet absolutely loves one of my cats, and I think if I had to give him up, they might be willing to keep him as the company cat, so to speak, like you see some places just have pets that wander around in the store or vet clinic and hang out at the front desk. Or the techs might like them, since they already know the cats - when I have my cats stay at the vet's overnight the techs talk about how he is such a big sweetheart and they let him out and played with him all the time, etc.
-
I have no real advice for you, just that I understand that it isn't an easy decision when you have to give up your fur babies. I have two gorgeous cats (we've had both since they were kittens) and I can't imagine having to give them away.
I hope you find a person/family to love them the way you do.
-
Yes, maybe a nine-month foster is a good alternative.
People who grew up with cats are not all immune to toxoplasmosis though. Nine out of ten expectant mothers in NA are not immune: http://www.pamf.org/serology/brochure.html. Even with immunity, if you are immune-compromised you can get it.
Also, indoor only cats rarely get toxioplasmosis. My other recommendation would be if you feel that strongly about it, don't get a cat if you plan on getting pregnant in the next 20 years.
-
I agree that the poster is doing the right thing by finding a good home & being willing to pay for his cats care forever if that's what it takes. That could make a difference between the cats finding a home or not. Some people can't afford pets but would love to have one if someone else paid for the care. I know that many people do not hold my strong view about animals & that is okay. I really hope that you are able to find them a loving home together. Take Care:))
-
I am assuming that the rehoming is necessary due to the impending long term overseas travel that him and his spouse are planning for when they leave their jobs.
"because I am selfish and I retired early, I no longer care for my companions that I made a lifetime commitment to"
Nope, not a good reason....
* - Disclaimer, I do not know the OPs reason for wanting to rehome the pet, I am just saying that "wanting to travel" is not a good reason
-
I am assuming that the rehoming is necessary due to the impending long term overseas travel that him and his spouse are planning for when they leave their jobs.
"because I am selfish and I retired early, I no longer care for my companions that I made a lifetime commitment to"
Nope, not a good reason....
* - Disclaimer, I do not know the OPs reason for wanting to rehome the pet, I am just saying that "wanting to travel" is not a good reason
Agreed. I do short trips, or I bring my dog. I'm not going anywhere for an extended period of time if he can't come with me. The long term overseas FI travel can wait until he's no longer alive.
-
I am assuming that the rehoming is necessary due to the impending long term overseas travel that him and his spouse are planning for when they leave their jobs.
"because I am selfish and I retired early, I no longer care for my companions that I made a lifetime commitment to"
Nope, not a good reason....
* - Disclaimer, I do not know the OPs reason for wanting to rehome the pet, I am just saying that "wanting to travel" is not a good reason
He is WORKING abroad. And btw that kind of attitude does not help. He came on here to find a solution. Complaining you don't think his reason is valid is not helpful.
-
I am assuming that the rehoming is necessary due to the impending long term overseas travel that him and his spouse are planning for when they leave their jobs.
"because I am selfish and I retired early, I no longer care for my companions that I made a lifetime commitment to"
Nope, not a good reason....
* - Disclaimer, I do not know the OPs reason for wanting to rehome the pet, I am just saying that "wanting to travel" is not a good reason
He is WORKING abroad. And btw that kind of attitude does not help. He came on here to find a solution. Complaining you don't think his reason is valid is not helpful.
Did you miss the disclaimer?
-
Shutting down people and telling them they have to keep pets on your terms is like preaching abstinence or "just say no" to drugs. It never works even if you believe in it 100% percent.
In the real world many people are going to get into situations where they feel they cannot keep their pets. Here is someone willing to pay for their ongoing care. Whether you believe their reason (which you do not know) to be valid or not it seems better than average to me.
And attitudes towards animals are culturally varied. In Korea they eat dogs. In Canada we raise animals for medical research. The majority eat pig and cows and chickens grown in abysmal concentration camp conditions. During periods of war or starvation pets get eaten. In every country I've been to their needs are seen as secondary to human needs by the majority. Right or wrong, that is reality.
That doesn't mean there isn't room for personal responsibility and social change, but judgment and guilt seem misplaced here.
-
We are indeed planning to travel. (Overseas. Extensively.)
If there was a way we could take our cats with us, we absolutely would. Our plan though is to live in a place for 1-3 months, then move to the next country, live there for a bit, and then move on, and so on and so forth. We plan to travel the world for years.
What that means for the cats is that they'd go with us, be stuck in quarantine (most places up to four months). By the time we got them and were moving on (and forced to move on due to visa issues), we'd only have them for a short time, at most, if we even got them at all (they didn't just ship to the next country). They'd be stuck, alone and scared, in quarantine, for long stretches, over and over.
That's no thing to do to animals.
Our other option is that we keep them. We don't live our dream of traveling the world, and just stay here in the US for the next decade until they both die. That is an option we're considering, just because we do love them. But it is also not ideal, as traveling is our main ER goal, and without it there's not much point of ER for us. So our considering it is us saying "I guess we can just keep working." But continuing to work a decade+ past FI just for the cats also seems a bit silly.
So we're looking into trying to find out how we can find a wonderful new home for them. It's not what I want to do, but it may be the best of the various options. If it comes down to it, we'll pay whatever price that entails to make sure they are well cared for. I have mostly avoided this thread after the initial day of creation, as dealing with this has been very hard for me. It's hard for me to visit the websites and read about the options without getting emotional. It's something we're looking into now, way ahead of time (6+ months), to make sure we can find something that we feel comfortable with for them. If we don't find something, we won't be leaving.
Thank you everyone for your suggestions.
I realize that people will disagree with what we are doing, and that's okay. You're more than entitled to your opinion that I'm a scumbag. Sitting here next to my sleeping cats, I'm not sure I disagree with you.
-
Were you working towards FI 7 years ago? Did you know that you wanted to travel the world?
If yes, then why did you take on a 17 year commitment?
If no, when you started your FI goal and plans, did you not consider the pets you had already committed to taking care of?
-
This is hard - sorry you're going through it. For what it's worth, although I definitely believe that you're responsible for any pet you adopt, I also think that finding a loving home for that pet still counts as being responsible. As long as you're very sure they'll be well cared for and loved, I don't think all the judgment here is called for.
Sure, pets get attached to their owners. But we recently adopted an elderly cat whose owner had died and so she'd been at the shelter for several months. She was skittish at first, but she's happy with us now. I think the cats will adapt.
-
This is hard - sorry you're going through it. For what it's worth, although I definitely believe that you're responsible for any pet you adopt, I also think that finding a loving home for that pet still counts as being responsible. As long as you're very sure they'll be well cared for and loved, I don't think all the judgment here is called for.
Sure, pets get attached to their owners. But we recently adopted an elderly cat whose owner had died and so she'd been at the shelter for several months. She was skittish at first, but she's happy with us now. I think the cats will adapt.
+1
You are not a scumbag.
-
arebelspy, I think before this is done you'll probably be able to find someone on this forum that'll consider taking them in.
I'm sorry you haven't been able to find any friends or family that this is a fit for.
-
Sure, pets get attached to their owners. But we recently adopted an elderly cat whose owner had died and so she'd been at the shelter for several months. She was skittish at first, but she's happy with us now. I think the cats will adapt.
So true! My mom's dog growing up was one they adopted whose owner had died. Not sure how old she was but she wasn't a puppy. The only really sad thing was that she had this one toy (I think it was a red ball) that came with her from her old home, and when they brought it out she would get really sad... but occasional sad memories aside, she was soooo happy to be in a house with four kids that loved her!
ARS, I'm sorry you're having to figure this out!! I don't think it would be emotionally possible for us to rehome our dogs, unless one of our future kids turns out to be deathly allergic or something (and even then I think my bf would want to rehome the kid first, LOL). But we don't have the passion for world travel that you and your wife do, and I also think dogs might be different than cats (but then I'm a dog person). I hope you find a wonderful home for them that you're comfortable with.
-
Does anyone know of an organization that you can pay to take your pets and they guarantee placement for them?
All of the places I find will do their best, but often are forced to euthanize.
If we were willing to pay someone to take our pets (and pay for their care), how could I go about finding that?
You want to FIRE your pet?
-
I thought I remembered in some other posts, Arebelspy, that you and your wife were interested in RVing around the US once you were FIRE... You could likely do those plans with your cats, if RV living was still a contender. That wouldn't solve your problem, as I'm sure you'll want to be out of the US eventually, but perhaps it would buy you time to find a good family for them. My husband and I are living with our cats in an RV currently, and so far so good! We are going to run into the same issue as you in about five years when we FIRE, as we plan on continuously slow traveling as well and will be unable to take our three cats with us. Luckily, for us, we have parents with whom these cats once lived and should be able to live again once we do start traveling.
In reply to those who think it is misguided to take on a pet without plans to care for it for the pet's lifespan: Of the three cats we have, two have been taken on since we knew of our upcoming plans to travel, so we knew that we would eventually be parted from them. Although in our case we are pretty sure we will have a home for them, I think I still would have taken care of the cats even without a home lined up as there are so many cats that need homes in the US that providing one even for a short time seems better than not at all.
-
I thought I remembered in some other posts, Arebelspy, that you and your wife were interested in RVing around the US once you were FIRE... You could likely do those plans with your cats, if RV living was still a contender.
Yes, keeping the cats is one strong reason for RVing, but it wouldn't be in the US - the ACA is pushing us out of the states. So then we again run into issues with importing animals to other countries and visa things (can't settle long). It's still something we're considering.
I think for now I may just sign up for another year of working.
-
I thought I remembered in some other posts, Arebelspy, that you and your wife were interested in RVing around the US once you were FIRE... You could likely do those plans with your cats, if RV living was still a contender. That wouldn't solve your problem, as I'm sure you'll want to be out of the US eventually, but perhaps it would buy you time to find a good family for them. My husband and I are living with our cats in an RV currently, and so far so good! We are going to run into the same issue as you in about five years when we FIRE, as we plan on continuously slow traveling as well and will be unable to take our three cats with us. Luckily, for us, we have parents with whom these cats once lived and should be able to live again once we do start traveling.
In reply to those who think it is misguided to take on a pet without plans to care for it for the pet's lifespan: Of the three cats we have, two have been taken on since we knew of our upcoming plans to travel, so we knew that we would eventually be parted from them. Although in our case we are pretty sure we will have a home for them, I think I still would have taken care of the cats even without a home lined up as there are so many cats that need homes in the US that providing one even for a short time seems better than not at all.
Decembeir, we're planning to take our (small, shy, but thankfully not declawed) cat with us renting an RV when we first retire, as an experiment to start getting her adjusted to travel prior to our plan to retire abroad and take her with us. Like Arebelspy, we are planning on moving around in retirement, though not likely as often as he (he said they want to move every three months or so, but we're planning on maybe getting residency in a country for a year or two and then moving on). Can you tell me what issues/challenges you have had traveling with your cats in an RV? I'm mostly concerned that my little girl, who has not been outside since she was a very, very small kitten, will get loose and get hurt. Incidentally, this is also one of my concerns with traveling abroad, since most places that we'll be going probably don't have screened windows, as we currently do. I'm probably too much of a worrier, but she is a very small cat about the size of a 6-7 month old kitten) and I love her so, so much that it freaks me out terribly to imagine her vulnerable to attack by other animals. I am planning to leash train her (she seems a bit less hysterical than other cats have been when I put a harness on her), but I can't harness her all the time in a house without screened windows.
-
I thought I remembered in some other posts, Arebelspy, that you and your wife were interested in RVing around the US once you were FIRE... You could likely do those plans with your cats, if RV living was still a contender.
Yes, keeping the cats is one strong reason for RVing, but it wouldn't be in the US - the ACA is pushing us out of the states. So then we again run into issues with importing animals to other countries and visa things (can't settle long). It's still something we're considering.
I think for now I may just sign up for another year of working.
I'm not positive if it's the same for cats, but apparently it's really easy to travel in Central and South America with dogs, without quarantines etc. I haven't looked into the details myself, but have been following numerous blogs from people traveling with pets (mostly dogs) down the panamerican highway. RVs aren't as common south of Mexico, but it's certainly possible. Also depends on how well your cats travel.
-
I think for now I may just sign up for another year of working.
Why don't you FIRE, but just plan that your first task post FIRE is to rehome the kitties?
Some more thoughts on rehoming:
Good photos and thorough descriptions go a long way.
Summer is kitten season and adult cats don't generally get as much attention. Now is actually a pretty good time for adult cats.
Try not to rehome and then immediately jet off across the ocean. If you find a home, plan to hold your breath for 2-4 weeks to make sure its a good fit. Always stress that if its not working that you want the cats back, they are not to go to the shelter. If they aren't microchipped, you may want to have that done to be sure that they don't get dropped at a shelter.
Some no-kill organizations (like the one I work for) are not official intake facilities, so anyone that calls and wants us to take their animal is pointed toward the county shelter. Its the only reason that we can actually be no-kill; we control our intake by screening the shelter animals for the ones that are adoptable and only take those. That being said, we do bend the rules fairly often and take an occasional animal directly from an owner or someone that found an animal. I'm sure this practice varies widely from group to group. Long story short, just because you get a "no" from a rescue that you think is ideal, doesn't mean that they won't take them in the long run. Keep a dialogue open, ask for their recommendations on rehoming yourself, ask if they will do a "courtesy post" by listing your cats while they continue to reside with you, or see if you can "foster" them until they are adopted.
Offering to pay for their care is awesome and is a huge step, but animal rescue generally has two problems, money and space. Plus, there is the emotional side, the knee-jerk reaction that has shown up on this thread - you are abandoning them. The more time you can spend discussing options with a rescue, the more you can impress upon them that you are trying your very best to do the right thing for these animals. Also, animal rescue is a small community. I know several groups in the surrounding area and we pass animals around on occasion to help each other out. We shift our rabbits to a nearby group, we take kittens that need bottle feeding, etc. If one can't help you, they are the best people to know who else to talk to.
-
And attitudes towards animals are culturally varied. In Korea they eat dogs.
As an Asian American (who has lived and spent a significant time in Asia), it drives me crazy when people say things like this. Most Asians don't eat dogs. I know plenty of Koreans who love their dogs deeply and consider them family members. I think twenty years ago that sentiment was likely more rare in Asia, but it's not at all uncommon now.
To Arebelspy, I'm glad you're working hard to find a good home for your cats. If you are able to find someone that you are confident will provide them with a good, loving home for the rest of their lives, I think that is a responsible outcome, and you should go on and live your dream of slow traveling the world with your wife. Personally, I could never part from my dog (never had a cat). He's 11 now, and I love him more with each passing day. If the heavens parted and God offered me a deal to have him around for 10 more years but to never be able to travel during that time, I would take it in a heartbeat. But I realize that not everyone feels that way about their animals.
-
The ACA is pushing us out of the states.
[/quote]
Just curious, not looking to start a fight. Do you not have health insurance?
-
I think for now I may just sign up for another year of working.
Why don't you FIRE, but just plan that your first task post FIRE is to rehome the kitties?
That's why we're looking into it now, rather than waiting, to make sure we have time to find a good situation, or we just don't FIRE. What if we FIRE and then can't find a solution? Might as well just keep working.
Good ideas on the other organizations.
The ACA is pushing us out of the states.
Just curious, not looking to start a fight. Do you not have health insurance?
We do.
-
Sure, pets get attached to their owners. But we recently adopted an elderly cat whose owner had died and so she'd been at the shelter for several months. She was skittish at first, but she's happy with us now. I think the cats will adapt.
Yes, if it makes you feel any better, your cats will forget all about you once they're settled in their new home. I find it comforting to know that I care about my cats way more than they care about me!
-
I'm not a pet person at all, and do not in any way consider a pet to be equal to a child, so I admit that colors my thinking here. But for those of you saying that you should never ever get a pet if you are not prepared to keep it no matter what for the next 20 years -- there are more animals who need homes than there are homes that want animals. If I could keep a pet for 5 years, and then something happens that makes it difficult for me to keep it, isn't it better for that animal to have 5 good years, than for it to have never had a good home at all? Sure, it is best to keep a pet until the end, but there could be some people that are willing to make a short term commitment but not a lifetime commitment. Seems to me that making it an all-or-nothing type of thing would just serve to make people choose the nothing. And that would mean even more animals needing homes.
-
I'm not a pet person at all, and do not in any way consider a pet to be equal to a child, so I admit that colors my thinking here. But for those of you saying that you should never ever get a pet if you are not prepared to keep it no matter what for the next 20 years -- there are more animals who need homes than there are homes that want animals. If I could keep a pet for 5 years, and then something happens that makes it difficult for me to keep it, isn't it better for that animal to have 5 good years, than for it to have never had a good home at all? Sure, it is best to keep a pet until the end, but there could be some people that are willing to make a short term commitment but not a lifetime commitment. Seems to me that making it an all-or-nothing type of thing would just serve to make people choose the nothing. And that would mean even more animals needing homes.
I think it probably makes more sense for those people to foster pets instead of own them. Or adopt very old pets.
My cat will probably live to close to my retirement date (he's almost 11 now and I have another 9-ish years to go), but if he passes early I would not adopt another pet given my circumstances. But I would not keep working even if he lived freakishly long - I would just retire but delay my travel and do other things until then.
-
I think it probably makes more sense for those people to foster pets instead of own them. Or adopt very old pets.
My cat will probably live to close to my retirement date (he's almost 11 now and I have another 9-ish years to go), but if he passes early I would not adopt another pet given my circumstances. But I would not keep working even if he lived freakishly long - I would just retire but delay my travel and do other things until then.
This is exactly my plan also. I foster dogs because I don't want the long term commitment involved in adopting. I have one 5 1/2 year old dog of my own and I hope to FIRE in 8-10 years. If my dog is still alive at that point I will travel in such a way that he can come with me. Lucky for me, he loves road trips. If I fell in love with a much older foster dog I'd consider adopting, but I can't make a long term commitment to a pet if I want to travel.
-
"What if we FIRE and then can't find a solution? Might as well just keep working."
I'm sure you could find some really awesome things to do with your time that aren't working and aren't traveling internationally. I don't begrudge you for trying to find them a good home though!
-
Is there a Petsmart near you? There are generally rescue groups in there on the weekends with adoptable animals. Its a good place to go talk to them and get information. Saturday is typically the best day. There are a few big Adopt-a-thon weekends throughout the year which tend to attract a larger grouping of rescues.
-
"What if we FIRE and then can't find a solution? Might as well just keep working."
I'm sure you could find some really awesome things to do with your time that aren't working and aren't traveling internationally.
We enjoy our jobs. The reason we are quitting is to travel.
Is there a Petsmart near you? There are generally rescue groups in there on the weekends with adoptable animals. Its a good place to go talk to them and get information. Saturday is typically the best day. There are a few big Adopt-a-thon weekends throughout the year which tend to attract a larger grouping of rescues.
That's a good idea.
-
I'm not a pet person at all, and do not in any way consider a pet to be equal to a child, so I admit that colors my thinking here. But for those of you saying that you should never ever get a pet if you are not prepared to keep it no matter what for the next 20 years -- there are more animals who need homes than there are homes that want animals. If I could keep a pet for 5 years, and then something happens that makes it difficult for me to keep it, isn't it better for that animal to have 5 good years, than for it to have never had a good home at all? Sure, it is best to keep a pet until the end, but there could be some people that are willing to make a short term commitment but not a lifetime commitment. Seems to me that making it an all-or-nothing type of thing would just serve to make people choose the nothing. And that would mean even more animals needing homes.
Just because an animal is not "equal to a child" does not mean the animal does not deserve a lifelong commitment to be loved and cared for. I'm not a fan of the idea of taking on an animal for just a few years of its life. I think you do the animal a huge disservice, especially if you adopt the animal as a cute little puppy or kitty. Puppies and kittens are far more adoptable than adult dogs and cats, and so many older animals are euthanized each year. I see it essentially as taking away that animal's chance to be adopted from the get-go into a home where he/she would be secure in a loving home for a lifetime. I think this mentality really contributes to the idea that animals are disposable. Dogs and cats may not be human, but they still deserve to be treated with dignity and respect.
Just to be clear, the above was definitely not a dig at Arebelspy. I'm sure he's completely aware that it's more difficult to find a forever home for adult animals, and he's not dropping his cats off at a shelter. I may not completely agree with his sentiment, but I give him props for handling the situation with a lot more responsibility than many people would.
-
Check out Arizona Animal Welfare League. They are a strictly no-kill shelter. I got my boy Teak from there. He was found wandering around Payson, AZ with an abscess on his neck. Payson put him on the euthanasia list. AAWL went up there, got him, performed surgery, and rehabilitated him for six months. I met him by chance at a local dog-friendly bar that his foster mom took him to one Friday afternoon. He's been my baby boy for about a year and a half now. Yes, I met my dog at a bar. :)
Anyway, AAWL is awesome. They might be able to help you.
-
Yes, if it makes you feel any better, your cats will forget all about you once they're settled in their new home. I find it comforting to know that I care about my cats way more than they care about me!
This is simply not true. My cat loves my Dad to death. She used to see him weekly the first 5 years of her life. Then I moved, first to Vegas, then to CA. She is with me of course. Now she sees my Dad every 2 years or so.. (3 ? times in the last 5 years?) and each time as soon as he walked in the door she was twining around his legs and pruting at him.
Mind you that this is a cat that whenever any other stranger / guest walks into the house hided under the bed for an hour after they are gone.
If you had told me before I moved that the cat would remember my Dad after not seeing him in 2 years and moving across the country I would have said BS. But then I saw it with my own eyes. They remember. I dont know how, but they do.
-
Yes, if it makes you feel any better, your cats will forget all about you once they're settled in their new home. I find it comforting to know that I care about my cats way more than they care about me!
This is simply not true. My cat loves my Dad to death. She used to see him weekly the first 5 years of her life. Then I moved, first to Vegas, then to CA. She is with me of course. Now she sees my Dad every 2 years or so.. (3 ? times in the last 5 years?) and each time as soon as he walked in the door she was twining around his legs and pruting at him.
Mind you that this is a cat that whenever any other stranger / guest walks into the house hided under the bed for an hour after they are gone.
If you had told me before I moved that the cat would remember my Dad after not seeing him in 2 years and moving across the country I would have said BS. But then I saw it with my own eyes. They remember. I dont know how, but they do.
Its not that they forget, but they live in the present. They don't "miss" you because they don't think about the past. At least not in the same way as people.
-
"As an Asian American (who has lived and spent a significant time in Asia), it drives me crazy when people say things like this. Most Asians don't eat dogs. I know plenty of Koreans who love their dogs deeply and consider them family members. I think twenty years ago that sentiment was likely more rare in Asia, but it's not at all uncommon now."
I think the statement that Koreans eat dogs is still accurate. Most might not, but a significant number of S. Koreans have tried it and it is popular in N. Korea.
In fact, between 30% and 60% of Koreans have tried dog meat. You couldn't say the same about Canadians. A very small percentage in South Korea eat it regularly, but dogs are bred for meat in Korea. In North Korea it is quite common and an official market price has been set by the government.
Dog meat is a delicacy still in East Timor. In the past (1979) dog was widely eaten in Hawaii and considered to be of higher quality than pork or chicken. The consumption of domestic dog meat is still commonplace in the Kingdom of Tonga, and has also been noted in expatriate Tongan communities in New Zealand, Australia, and the United States
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dog_meat
FYI I also lived and travelled in Asia for an extensive period of time. I never tried dog, but I was served horse and live fish.
-
There may very well be someone who wants a pair of cats for a year or two, but is not ready themselves to make a long term commitment. When we went on an extended (three month) trip abroad, one of our cats moved in with a friend who is a very competent cat person (he had medical issues); the other stayed home with the person who lived in our house. Try for a temporary re-homing, maybe with someone who is planning on FI in a few years and would like to cats for a while.
-
There may very well be someone who wants a pair of cats for a year or two, but is not ready themselves to make a long term commitment. When we went on an extended (three month) trip abroad, one of our cats moved in with a friend who is a very competent cat person (he had medical issues); the other stayed home with the person who lived in our house. Try for a temporary re-homing, maybe with someone who is planning on FI in a few years and would like to cats for a while.
Forwarded this to someone who fits your description exactly
-
Yes, if it makes you feel any better, your cats will forget all about you once they're settled in their new home. I find it comforting to know that I care about my cats way more than they care about me!
This is simply not true. My cat loves my Dad to death. She used to see him weekly the first 5 years of her life. Then I moved, first to Vegas, then to CA. She is with me of course. Now she sees my Dad every 2 years or so.. (3 ? times in the last 5 years?) and each time as soon as he walked in the door she was twining around his legs and pruting at him.
Mind you that this is a cat that whenever any other stranger / guest walks into the house hided under the bed for an hour after they are gone.
If you had told me before I moved that the cat would remember my Dad after not seeing him in 2 years and moving across the country I would have said BS. But then I saw it with my own eyes. They remember. I dont know how, but they do.
Its not that they forget, but they live in the present. They don't "miss" you because they don't think about the past. At least not in the same way as people.
My cat went crazy when I came home after being gone for a few days. Roommates have told me he also went crazy when I was gone. Wandering around, meowing, etc.
-
There may very well be someone who wants a pair of cats for a year or two, but is not ready themselves to make a long term commitment. When we went on an extended (three month) trip abroad, one of our cats moved in with a friend who is a very competent cat person (he had medical issues); the other stayed home with the person who lived in our house. Try for a temporary re-homing, maybe with someone who is planning on FI in a few years and would like to cats for a while.
Forwarded this to someone who fits your description exactly
Actually that would be pretty amazing, to rehome them for a year or three, then get them back.
-
I really hope that works out :)
-
Yes, if it makes you feel any better, your cats will forget all about you once they're settled in their new home. I find it comforting to know that I care about my cats way more than they care about me!
This is simply not true. My cat loves my Dad to death. She used to see him weekly the first 5 years of her life. Then I moved, first to Vegas, then to CA. She is with me of course. Now she sees my Dad every 2 years or so.. (3 ? times in the last 5 years?) and each time as soon as he walked in the door she was twining around his legs and pruting at him.
Mind you that this is a cat that whenever any other stranger / guest walks into the house hided under the bed for an hour after they are gone.
If you had told me before I moved that the cat would remember my Dad after not seeing him in 2 years and moving across the country I would have said BS. But then I saw it with my own eyes. They remember. I dont know how, but they do.
Its not that they forget, but they live in the present. They don't "miss" you because they don't think about the past. At least not in the same way as people.
My cat went crazy when I came home after being gone for a few days. Roommates have told me he also went crazy when I was gone. Wandering around, meowing, etc.
Yeah, I really think it depends on the cat. I've had many of them in my life, and it's amazing to me how different their personalities have all been.
-
Yes, if it makes you feel any better, your cats will forget all about you once they're settled in their new home. I find it comforting to know that I care about my cats way more than they care about me!
This is simply not true. My cat loves my Dad to death. She used to see him weekly the first 5 years of her life. Then I moved, first to Vegas, then to CA. She is with me of course. Now she sees my Dad every 2 years or so.. (3 ? times in the last 5 years?) and each time as soon as he walked in the door she was twining around his legs and pruting at him.
Mind you that this is a cat that whenever any other stranger / guest walks into the house hided under the bed for an hour after they are gone.
If you had told me before I moved that the cat would remember my Dad after not seeing him in 2 years and moving across the country I would have said BS. But then I saw it with my own eyes. They remember. I dont know how, but they do.
Its not that they forget, but they live in the present. They don't "miss" you because they don't think about the past. At least not in the same way as people.
My cat went crazy when I came home after being gone for a few days. Roommates have told me he also went crazy when I was gone. Wandering around, meowing, etc.
Yeah, I really think it depends on the cat. I've had many of them in my life, and it's amazing to me how different their personalities have all been.
You are talking about short term absences. For a rehoming situation, the cat will settle into new surroundings within a few weeks and be fine. I would venture to guess that the adjustment period averages two weeks or less.
-
I think people once they commit to a pet should finish the commitment.
I concur. But 99% of the time selfishness usually wins out when it comes to being inconvenienced by a pet a person once said that they "loved".
-
Our other option is that we keep them and just stay here in the US for the next decade until they both die. That is an option we're considering, just because we do love them.
So we're looking into trying to find out how we can find a wonderful new home for them. If it comes down to it, we'll pay whatever price that entails to make sure they are well cared for. If we don't find something, we won't be leaving.
Thank you everyone for your suggestions.
I realize that people will disagree with what we are doing, and that's okay. You're more than entitled to your opinion that I'm a scumbag. Sitting here next to my sleeping cats, I'm not sure I disagree with you.
Sounds like to me if you have to do something like this you are going about it the rite way IMO. I don't think your a scumbag.
-
So, I have a devil's advocate question for all the people who are saying that once you get a pet, you keep it for life, no exceptions.
I have a friend whose family has one cat, and they recently (about 5-6 months ago) adopted another one. The problem is, that cat #2, though an extremely sweet cat to the family, is mean to cat #1. Just jumps on and follows around/torments the other cat, who is older and smaller.
So, the solution that the family should choose would be... building another wing in their house for the second cat? Or what? Since rehoming the cat isn't an option, what should they do?
-
So, the solution that the family should choose would be... building another wing in their house for the second cat? Or what? Since rehoming the cat isn't an option, what should they do?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_FLCHN7jivA
-
So, the solution that the family should choose would be... building another wing in their house for the second cat? Or what? Since rehoming the cat isn't an option, what should they do?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_FLCHN7jivA
Are you suggesting that they haven't tried to figure out how to stop them from fighting?
-
So, the solution that the family should choose would be... building another wing in their house for the second cat? Or what? Since rehoming the cat isn't an option, what should they do?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_FLCHN7jivA
Are you suggesting that they haven't tried to figure out how to stop them from fighting?
Are you suggesting they have tried every possible/realistic solution?
-
So, the solution that the family should choose would be... building another wing in their house for the second cat? Or what? Since rehoming the cat isn't an option, what should they do?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_FLCHN7jivA
Are you suggesting that they haven't tried to figure out how to stop them from fighting?
Are you suggesting they have tried every possible/realistic solution?
Yes, actually I am.
It's easy to assume that someone you don't even know is an irresponsible cat owner who doesn't give a shit and doesn't really try to find a solution before he/she says, "well, this is just so *hard*! Gosh, I just don't know what to do! I guess I'll just give up."
Their other senior cat is being tormented. She is a beloved family pet and they are at their wits' end.
Edited to add: And one other thing that I think is easy to overlook: if the younger cat is constantly tormenting the older one, that is an indication that the younger cat isn't happy, either. Why is it better to not consider the possibility that the younger cat needs to be in a home with no other pets, and that rehoming it would be a *good* thing for him?
-
Since rehoming the cat isn't an option, what should they do?
Ummmm.......you DID ask the question toots. LOL!!!! How about send them this then? In most cases where there a will there is a way. http://jacksongalaxy.com/2014/08/21/aggression-in-cats/?utm_source=jg&utm_medium=fb&utm_term=20150205&utm_campaign=aggression-in-cats
-
So, I have a devil's advocate question for all the people who are saying that once you get a pet, you keep it for life, no exceptions.
I have a friend whose family has one cat, and they recently (about 5-6 months ago) adopted another one. The problem is, that cat #2, though an extremely sweet cat to the family, is mean to cat #1. Just jumps on and follows around/torments the other cat, who is older and smaller.
So, the solution that the family should choose would be... building another wing in their house for the second cat? Or what? Since rehoming the cat isn't an option, what should they do?
If the new cat is from a shelter then the shelter will usually take the cat back. You absolutely have to look out for the well being of your pre-existing pet, assuming you have already tried proper integration techniques.
-
So, I have a devil's advocate question for all the people who are saying that once you get a pet, you keep it for life, no exceptions.
I have a friend whose family has one cat, and they recently (about 5-6 months ago) adopted another one. The problem is, that cat #2, though an extremely sweet cat to the family, is mean to cat #1. Just jumps on and follows around/torments the other cat, who is older and smaller.
So, the solution that the family should choose would be... building another wing in their house for the second cat? Or what? Since rehoming the cat isn't an option, what should they do?
I recently rehomed my third dog (the last one added to our "pack") because the oldest dog was picking fights with her. And I mean, blood staining my carpet, nearly had to get stitches fights. And they're both 100 lb Great Danes, female, around the same age, and just maturing into adulthood (so they felt the need to reevaluate their positions). We tried everything and the fights continued. My husband and I could barely physically separate them, and neither one of us could do it alone. We had to make a decision and act on it before one of my dogs ended up dead, or one of us ended up in the hospital with dog bites, which would have put all 3 of my dogs under investigation.
In a situation like that, it's better for everyone involved to rehome one of the animals. My third dog is now living with a girl I've been friends with since I was 6 years old, who happens to be a certified dog trainer and works at a doggy daycare, has another dog for her to play with, and lots of land for them to run around. She's probably happier there than she was at my house, tbh -- she was a little high energy for our lifestyle and being cooped up inside this winter was getting hard for her.
Making a commitment to an animal for life also means being able to let that animal go if your home isn't working out for them. However, I think there are very few cases where that exception can be met with a human-oriented reason (pretty much only severe allergies or if you become so disabled you can't even care for yourself). But, in situations where the animals aren't getting along, your priority should be the animal that you had first OR the animal with special needs that would make it harder for them to find another great home.
-
You are talking about short term absences. For a rehoming situation, the cat will settle into new surroundings within a few weeks and be fine. I would venture to guess that the adjustment period averages two weeks or less.
My neighbour once spent 5 months in hospital, with another neighbour and I feeding her cats. The longest established cat jumped in the back of the ambulance to greet my neighbour as she came home.
-
I'm trying to slowly introduce a kitten to my older cat right now. What a frustrating process it's been for all humans and cats involved...If it doesn't turn for the better in a week or two, I'll have to bring the kitten back to the rescue organization. Not at all what I want to do, but sometimes it's the only option.
-
You are talking about short term absences. For a rehoming situation, the cat will settle into new surroundings within a few weeks and be fine. I would venture to guess that the adjustment period averages two weeks or less.
My neighbour once spent 5 months in hospital, with another neighbour and I feeding her cats. The longest established cat jumped in the back of the ambulance to greet my neighbour as she came home.
Yes, and I once took a dog from my aunt and uncle (gasp, they rehomed him!). When I took him to visit years later he seemed to genuinely remember them and their home. My point is not that animals forget or that they are not happy to see you again, my point is that my dog was perfectly happy while with me. He didn't sit around dreaming of his old home or his old family.
A major difference between rehoming and your story is that those cats were likely lacking in human companionship. Unless there was someone living in that home during those 5 months, there was a hole that wasn't filled.
-
So, I have a devil's advocate question for all the people who are saying that once you get a pet, you keep it for life, no exceptions.
I have a friend whose family has one cat, and they recently (about 5-6 months ago) adopted another one. The problem is, that cat #2, though an extremely sweet cat to the family, is mean to cat #1. Just jumps on and follows around/torments the other cat, who is older and smaller.
So, the solution that the family should choose would be... building another wing in their house for the second cat? Or what? Since rehoming the cat isn't an option, what should they do?
I'm in general a "keep it for life," but it's about doing what's best for the animal. I looked at rehoming one of my cats a few years back. She was literally sick from anxiety related to frequent moves. Since DH is military, the moves weren't optional and I felt she'd be happier with a stable home. However, during the months I looked to find her a new home, we also put her on Prozac, and even once she came off it the excessive anxiety was controlled. In the example you gave, you try everything reasonable to integrate the cats, and if it just isn't happening you find one a new home.
I had a friend with a cat that started getting very aggressive to the family and other pets following the birth of a new baby. They tried all kinds of behavioral techniques, meds, pheromone sprays with no results. The only "effective" method was keeping the cat locked up and isolated in the spare bathroom. They figured that wasn't good for anyone, so they found a co-worker with no kids or other pets who was interested. Co-worker took the cat home and he turned back into a lovely, mellow pal. There's a difference between dumping an animal because it's convenient for you and finding it an appropriate home because it's best for the animal.
-
I'm trying to slowly introduce a kitten to my older cat right now. What a frustrating process it's been for all humans and cats involved...If it doesn't turn for the better in a week or two, I'll have to bring the kitten back to the rescue organization. Not at all what I want to do, but sometimes it's the only option.
PM me if you would like some advice on this. Also - please talk to the rescue that you got the kitten from. They can likely help you. And in the event that you do have to return the kitten, it is VERY helpful if there is advance notice.
-
There's a difference between dumping an animal because it's convenient for you and finding it an appropriate home because it's best for the animal.
I concur!
-
Since rehoming the cat isn't an option, what should they do?
Ummmm.......you DID ask the question toots. LOL!!!! How about send them this then? In most cases where there a will there is a way. http://jacksongalaxy.com/2014/08/21/aggression-in-cats/?utm_source=jg&utm_medium=fb&utm_term=20150205&utm_campaign=aggression-in-cats
Right. Perhaps I should have specified that they have spent the last six months trying everything they can think of (in consultation with their vet) and nothing works. I assumed oeople would understand the implied "nothing seems to work to get these cats to get along."
-
So, I have a devil's advocate question for all the people who are saying that once you get a pet, you keep it for life, no exceptions.
I have a friend whose family has one cat, and they recently (about 5-6 months ago) adopted another one. The problem is, that cat #2, though an extremely sweet cat to the family, is mean to cat #1. Just jumps on and follows around/torments the other cat, who is older and smaller.
So, the solution that the family should choose would be... building another wing in their house for the second cat? Or what? Since rehoming the cat isn't an option, what should they do?
I recently rehomed my third dog (the last one added to our "pack") because the oldest dog was picking fights with her. And I mean, blood staining my carpet, nearly had to get stitches fights. And they're both 100 lb Great Danes, female, around the same age, and just maturing into adulthood (so they felt the need to reevaluate their positions). We tried everything and the fights continued. My husband and I could barely physically separate them, and neither one of us could do it alone. We had to make a decision and act on it before one of my dogs ended up dead, or one of us ended up in the hospital with dog bites, which would have put all 3 of my dogs under investigation.
In a situation like that, it's better for everyone involved to rehome one of the animals. My third dog is now living with a girl I've been friends with since I was 6 years old, who happens to be a certified dog trainer and works at a doggy daycare, has another dog for her to play with, and lots of land for them to run around. She's probably happier there than she was at my house, tbh -- she was a little high energy for our lifestyle and being cooped up inside this winter was getting hard for her.
Making a commitment to an animal for life also means being able to let that animal go if your home isn't working out for them. However, I think there are very few cases where that exception can be met with a human-oriented reason (pretty much only severe allergies or if you become so disabled you can't even care for yourself). But, in situations where the animals aren't getting along, your priority should be the animal that you had first OR the animal with special needs that would make it harder for them to find another great home.
I agree. This is why I posted it as a devil's advocate question to people who said that once you get a pet, it's for life. In my friend's case, she rehomed the newer cat last week to a friend of herd. From what I've heard, he's doing well, and the senior cat has calmed and is happy to not be tormented anymore.
-
Since rehoming the cat isn't an option, what should they do?
Ummmm.......you DID ask the question toots. LOL!!!! How about send them this then? In most cases where there a will there is a way. http://jacksongalaxy.com/2014/08/21/aggression-in-cats/?utm_source=jg&utm_medium=fb&utm_term=20150205&utm_campaign=aggression-in-cats
Right. Perhaps I should have specified that they have spent the last six months trying everything they can think of (in consultation with their vet) and nothing works. I assumed oeople would understand the implied "nothing seems to work to get these cats to get along."
I know I'm only contributing to the off-topicness, but this The Way of Cats (http://www.wayofcats.com/blog/) blog is amazing. Yes, there is some anthromorphisation of cats, but I am a complete and utter fan of her approach now. We've had some severe behavioural issues between our two cats, who were previously best friends but that all went to shit after one of them got shaved (and in hindsight exacerbated by the shaved cat also having genetic kidney disease).
Our vet practice has been great, and we've made some progress with medicating and following their suggestions. But, we had a big step change in improvement after just one week of following the suggestions in that blog (I read lots and lots of her blog posts). Given we were thinking we'd have to rehome one of them at one point cos even keeping them separated wasn't working, it's been amazing. Highly recommended, even if the cats in question don't have specific behavioural issues.
-
I'm trying to slowly introduce a kitten to my older cat right now. What a frustrating process it's been for all humans and cats involved...If it doesn't turn for the better in a week or two, I'll have to bring the kitten back to the rescue organization. Not at all what I want to do, but sometimes it's the only option.
PM me if you would like some advice on this. Also - please talk to the rescue that you got the kitten from. They can likely help you. And in the event that you do have to return the kitten, it is VERY helpful if there is advance notice.
DCMustichio, feel free to PM me too. And also look at a couple of my recent posts. They are about using generic Prozac to help my warring sister cats. If you haven't already, you may want to talk to your vet about the situation. The vet may prescribe some temporary chemical assistance to help smooth the introduction of the cats to each other.
-
Losing a job and being forced to move is not a reason to get rid of a pet. You need to make smarter decisions. And look for places that take pets. Pets are a commitment for life. Period. Know that going into the pet acquisition process.
No. Just. No.
-
So, the solution that the family should choose would be... building another wing in their house for the second cat? Or what? Since rehoming the cat isn't an option, what should they do?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_FLCHN7jivA
Are you suggesting that they haven't tried to figure out how to stop them from fighting?
Are you suggesting they have tried every possible/realistic solution?
Yes, actually I am.
It's easy to assume that someone you don't even know is an irresponsible cat owner who doesn't give a shit and doesn't really try to find a solution before he/she says, "well, this is just so *hard*! Gosh, I just don't know what to do! I guess I'll just give up."
Their other senior cat is being tormented. She is a beloved family pet and they are at their wits' end.
Edited to add: And one other thing that I think is easy to overlook: if the younger cat is constantly tormenting the older one, that is an indication that the younger cat isn't happy, either. Why is it better to not consider the possibility that the younger cat needs to be in a home with no other pets, and that rehoming it would be a *good* thing for him?
I have known several people who have had to rehome cats due to this exact situation. That's how my good friends ended up with 5 cats and my MIL ended up with a cat.
-
Arebelspy- I am facing the same dilemma. My long-term FI dream is to slow-travel the world until I can’t do it anymore. And I can’t figure out how to make it work with my 2 cats. I wasn’t thinking of FI and travel when I adopted them.
I’ve always thought that when you get a pet, you are committed to provide the best care for them for the remainder of their lives. I think that if you can re-home your cats to a good, loving home, you are still providing for them as best you can – you aren’t scum abandoning your critters or dumping them in a shelter (which is where I found my cats – someone else dumped them). Cats will adjust well to a new home if their new people provide them with plenty of love and attention. But if I find my cats a suitable home, I don’t know that I could part with them - I know I would always worry and miss them. And the guilt! I’ve had animals all my life; and I know that while cats live in the moment, they are also emotional creatures who have memories, and love, and grieve. There is no easy choice!
My revised plan is to apply for a resident/retiree visa to a new country – probably somewhere in Europe (assuming I can meet income and other requirements), and take my cats along. They would have to go through the travel and quarantine routine just once. They won’t like the change, but they will probably adjust. It won’t be the travel I’d hoped for; but I’ve always wanted to live in another country. It’s a compromise that may work – I have a couple of years to figure it out.
I hope you find a solution that is good for you and your cats.
-
Thanks for the encouraging words Lian. :)
I am much more hopeful now than when I started the thread; I particularly like the idea of someone temporarily adopting them for a few years.
Some Mustachian who's a few years from FI, wants a pet, but knows they will be traveling in a few years so they don't want to commit to a long term pet situation would be perfect perhaps. We pay for a lot of the cat's living expenses, and they (the foster parent) gets a win-win situation: pets to enjoy for a few years, at a reduced cost to them (how Mustachian), and then can pass them off when they're FI and want to travel (and give them back, so they know they're going to a good home), and a win-win for us, we get someone to watch our cats for a few years while we travel so we know they're being well cared for, and then get them back. We'll see if it works out that nicely, but it's a neat concept.
-
IDK if this could've an option for you but I was able to re home my beloved princesses, uh, cats, at a nearby dairy farm that had a mouse problem. they LOVE it and they do remember me. I was so glad that it worked out.
-
Thanks for the encouraging words Lian. :)
I am much more hopeful now than when I started the thread; I particularly like the idea of someone temporarily adopting them for a few years.
Some Mustachian who's a few years from FI, wants a pet, but knows they will be traveling in a few years so they don't want to commit to a long term pet situation would be perfect perhaps. We pay for a lot of the cat's living expenses, and they (the foster parent) gets a win-win situation: pets to enjoy for a few years, at a reduced cost to them (how Mustachian), and then can pass them off when they're FI and want to travel (and give them back, so they know they're going to a good home), and a win-win for us, we get someone to watch our cats for a few years while we travel so we know they're being well cared for, and then get them back. We'll see if it works out that nicely, but it's a neat concept.
Just wanted to say this sounds like a fantastic idea (and is a slightly more formal version of giving your cats to family members on a temporary basis which is done by an awful lot of people).
It also means that you aren't limited to folks living near you, in terms of finding the best fit for your cats' personality/living arrangements.
-
I really hope that works out!! WE ended up having to re-home my MIL's Peke when she died unexpectedly because I was severely allergic to him. Also my 4 other dogs were tormenting him so we had to separate when not home & he was not very happy with the whole situation. Luckily her best friend wanted him but I found out could not afford to take him. We happily paid for everything until he died 8 years later. The up side was that we got to visit whenever we wanted & he was happy to see us but also happy with his home. This is 1 reason at the age of 60 I will get down to just 1 dog when they naturally die because it is not far to burden our kids with our pets. 1 pet to deal with is fine but no more. My hubby actually just had to turn down a fantastic job in Hawaii which was a 3 year commitment because of quarantine & the fact that the big guy could not go at all. Our little old dogs are so neurotic they could not survive a quarantine. There are ways around this but it is not guaranteed so will not take the chance.
-
[snip]
-
"As an Asian American (who has lived and spent a significant time in Asia), it drives me crazy when people say things like this. Most Asians don't eat dogs. I know plenty of Koreans who love their dogs deeply and consider them family members. I think twenty years ago that sentiment was likely more rare in Asia, but it's not at all uncommon now."
I think the statement that Koreans eat dogs is still accurate. Most might not, but a significant number of S. Koreans have tried it and it is popular in N. Korea.
In fact, between 30% and 60% of Koreans have tried dog meat. You couldn't say the same about Canadians. A very small percentage in South Korea eat it regularly, but dogs are bred for meat in Korea. In North Korea it is quite common and an official market price has been set by the government.
Dog meat is a delicacy still in East Timor. In the past (1979) dog was widely eaten in Hawaii and considered to be of higher quality than pork or chicken. The consumption of domestic dog meat is still commonplace in the Kingdom of Tonga, and has also been noted in expatriate Tongan communities in New Zealand, Australia, and the United States
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dog_meat
FYI I also lived and travelled in Asia for an extensive period of time. I never tried dog, but I was served horse and live fish.
I certainly wasn't disputing that dog meat is eaten in Asia and other parts of the world (not sure what gave you that impression). My point is that your statement is misleading. The phrase "Koreans eat dogs" is hardly representative of the "attitudes" Koreans have towards dogs and paints a highly inaccurate picture of the place dogs hold in Korean* society.
*I'm referring to South Korea here, as I'm not sure how much choice North Koreans have in their food sources.
-
We've been trying to adopt a hypoallergenic dog (any age) for the past month. Let me tell you, it is a total emotional roller coaster!
Frankly I am ready to buy a pet store dog. At least then when we found a dog we like, we could take it home. We have a nice home, fenced yard, three kids that would care for a dog, only part-time work so the dog wouldn't be left alone for long periods, financial resources to support the dog, and tons of love to give. For some reason, we can't seem to be "first" on the internet reply button to get the dog. The only two dogs we've looked at were already taken by the time we got there.
The most recent loss was super depressing. (I don't know how people can handle the ups and downs of adopting human children at this point.) We saw a 1 year old surrender on the internet at our local humane society. I literally called within 5 minutes after their opening time. Apparently the first "hold" had gotten there 30 minutes before opening and sat in their parking lot. (I didn't even know you could do that!) Then they left the poor dog in the shelter for three days - right up until the last hours of their hold! Penni (the dog) sat in the shelter for three days she didn't need to be there, and this other family already had a dog....
I'll just throw it out there that if anyone wants to rehome a dog in the Chicago area and it is hypoallergenic, we are ready to welcome them with open arms!
(That is if we don't succumb to our kids pleading on Valentine's Day and do the unmustachian/unethical thing and buy a dog.....)
-
We've been trying to adopt a hypoallergenic dog (any age) for the past month. Let me tell you, it is a total emotional roller coaster!
Frankly I am ready to buy a pet store dog. At least then when we found a dog we like, we could take it home. We have a nice home, fenced yard, three kids that would care for a dog, only part-time work so the dog wouldn't be left alone for long periods, financial resources to support the dog, and tons of love to give. For some reason, we can't seem to be "first" on the internet reply button to get the dog. The only two dogs we've looked at were already taken by the time we got there.
The most recent loss was super depressing. (I don't know how people can handle the ups and downs of adopting human children at this point.) We saw a 1 year old surrender on the internet at our local humane society. I literally called within 5 minutes after their opening time. Apparently the first "hold" had gotten there 30 minutes before opening and sat in their parking lot. (I didn't even know you could do that!) Then they left the poor dog in the shelter for three days - right up until the last hours of their hold! Penni (the dog) sat in the shelter for three days she didn't need to be there, and this other family already had a dog....
I'll just throw it out there that if anyone wants to rehome a dog in the Chicago area and it is hypoallergenic, we are ready to welcome them with open arms!
(That is if we don't succumb to our kids pleading on Valentine's Day and do the unmustachian/unethical thing and buy a dog.....)
Put in an application at a good/big rescue -- they usually keep it on file and will call pre-approved adopters that they think are a good match before posting dogs on their websites.
-
We have a 17 year old cat who in many respects probably would have benefited from rehoming. Up until four years ago, we had two cats, but when my childhood cat died at 20+ years, we jumped at the chance to rehome her with my parents. She was the more annoying of our cats, i.e. extremely verbal for most of the day and night. Unfortunately our previously quiet cat learned this type of verbal behavior and now wanders around the house meowing at a very high volume. It's so loud that sometimes I mistake his meowing for the cry of our baby.
I would have never thought that we would be one of those people who resent their pets, but then we had kids. Life changed so much that honestly I do resent one more little creature that I have to clean up after. What ends up happening these days is that he spends most of his time in the basement. We can't let him out, because he is so loud that he wakes the baby up from his naps and wakes us all up at night. This has been going on for the past year.
I didn't feel comfortable rehoming him with anyone other than my parents, who didn't want two cats. That's why we have this situation in which we have a cat who deserves more affection than he is getting. I do think a commitment to your pet is for their life, but I think in this respect the perfect can be the enemy of the good. Because of this hard line, it is likely that I will never own another pet in my lifetime. The stress that this has put on me (guilt, etc.) means that I will probably never be willing to take on the responsibility again.
I've tried to have the conversation with my mom about their future pets. Their current cat (i.e. our cat) is around 14 years old. I asked her if they would get another cat when she dies. She said yes. My mom is 72 years old. I strongly encouraged her to adopt an older cat the next time around instead of a kitten, because I REALLY REALLY do not want to have to adopt her next one if and when she is no longer able to care for him or her. I might have to take a hard line on this and ask one of my other siblings (one of whom is single) to take on the burden. And yes, I do think of my pet as a burden at this point in my life. I would have never thought I could feel this way about a cat, but this is truly how I feel unfiltered. I feed him and scoop his poop, but I won't lie that in many respects I will be relieved when we are no longer pet owners.
-
We have a 17 year old cat who in many respects probably would have benefited from rehoming. Up until four years ago, we had two cats, but when my childhood cat died at 20+ years, we jumped at the chance to rehome her with my parents. She was the more annoying of our cats, i.e. extremely verbal for most of the day and night. Unfortunately our previously quiet cat learned this type of verbal behavior and now wanders around the house meowing at a very high volume. It's so loud that sometimes I mistake his meowing for the cry of our baby.
I would have never thought that we would be one of those people who resent their pets, but then we had kids. Life changed so much that honestly I do resent one more little creature that I have to clean up after. What ends up happening these days is that he spends most of his time in the basement. We can't let him out, because he is so loud that he wakes the baby up from his naps and wakes us all up at night. This has been going on for the past year.
I didn't feel comfortable rehoming him with anyone other than my parents, who didn't want two cats. That's why we have this situation in which we have a cat who deserves more affection than he is getting. I do think a commitment to your pet is for their life, but I think in this respect the perfect can be the enemy of the good. Because of this hard line, it is likely that I will never own another pet in my lifetime. The stress that this has put on me (guilt, etc.) means that I will probably never be willing to take on the responsibility again.
I've tried to have the conversation with my mom about their future pets. Their current cat (i.e. our cat) is around 14 years old. I asked her if they would get another cat when she dies. She said yes. My mom is 72 years old. I strongly encouraged her to adopt an older cat the next time around instead of a kitten, because I REALLY REALLY do not want to have to adopt her next one if and when she is no longer able to care for him or her. I might have to take a hard line on this and ask one of my other siblings (one of whom is single) to take on the burden. And yes, I do think of my pet as a burden at this point in my life. I would have never thought I could feel this way about a cat, but this is truly how I feel unfiltered. I feed him and scoop his poop, but I won't lie that in many respects I will be relieved when we are no longer pet owners.
I am actually scared I'm going to feel somewhat like this when we eventually have kids... especially because dogs (we have 2, but one is 12 so might not make it 'til we have kids) require even more attention/work than cats :(
-
We have a 17 year old cat who in many respects probably would have benefited from rehoming. Up until four years ago, we had two cats, but when my childhood cat died at 20+ years, we jumped at the chance to rehome her with my parents. She was the more annoying of our cats, i.e. extremely verbal for most of the day and night. Unfortunately our previously quiet cat learned this type of verbal behavior and now wanders around the house meowing at a very high volume. It's so loud that sometimes I mistake his meowing for the cry of our baby.
I would have never thought that we would be one of those people who resent their pets, but then we had kids. Life changed so much that honestly I do resent one more little creature that I have to clean up after. What ends up happening these days is that he spends most of his time in the basement. We can't let him out, because he is so loud that he wakes the baby up from his naps and wakes us all up at night. This has been going on for the past year.
I didn't feel comfortable rehoming him with anyone other than my parents, who didn't want two cats. That's why we have this situation in which we have a cat who deserves more affection than he is getting. I do think a commitment to your pet is for their life, but I think in this respect the perfect can be the enemy of the good. Because of this hard line, it is likely that I will never own another pet in my lifetime. The stress that this has put on me (guilt, etc.) means that I will probably never be willing to take on the responsibility again.
I've tried to have the conversation with my mom about their future pets. Their current cat (i.e. our cat) is around 14 years old. I asked her if they would get another cat when she dies. She said yes. My mom is 72 years old. I strongly encouraged her to adopt an older cat the next time around instead of a kitten, because I REALLY REALLY do not want to have to adopt her next one if and when she is no longer able to care for him or her. I might have to take a hard line on this and ask one of my other siblings (one of whom is single) to take on the burden. And yes, I do think of my pet as a burden at this point in my life. I would have never thought I could feel this way about a cat, but this is truly how I feel unfiltered. I feed him and scoop his poop, but I won't lie that in many respects I will be relieved when we are no longer pet owners.
I am actually scared I'm going to feel somewhat like this when we eventually have kids... especially because dogs (we have 2, but one is 12 so might not make it 'til we have kids) require even more attention/work than cats :(
It is possible but not inevitable. Some people take the whole transition in stride. Our neighbors have. They bought a second dog when they had a baby. But I have had conversations with several close friends who felt as we did. Honestly, I've noticed more of this sentiment with cat owners, if that's any consolation. Cats are a much longer commitment usually, and my husband just didn't understand this when he adopted two cats in his twenties. Yeah, I blame him ;).
Dogs might be more work, but they are not as MESSY. It's lovely to go on a family stroll with a dog and baby, especially if you have one person to push the stroller and one to hold the leash.
My main worry with dogs would be the safety of the breed and how they would react to a little person in the house.
-
Our other option is that we keep them. We don't live our dream of traveling the world, and just stay here in the US for the next decade until they both die. That is an option we're considering, just because we do love them. But it is also not ideal, as traveling is our main ER goal, and without it there's not much point of ER for us. So our considering it is us saying "I guess we can just keep working." But continuing to work a decade+ past FI just for the cats also seems a bit silly.
I rescued a cat because the owner was not responsible. I didn't want a cat. It wasn't convenient and it still isn't. I'd be doing a lot more travelling if I didn't have the cat.
Every time I go away from more than 2 days I get a cat sitter because the cat is noticeably happier that way. It costs money or I have to trade a favour.
I've got another 10 years like this most likely.
Personally I look at it like animals are for life. Either man up and look after them [giving them to a shelter isn't doing that even if you pay for the service] or find them a real home yourself that you feel 100% about. Which means finding it yourself, investigating the people and then following up on them afterwards.
You don't love your cats if you then say you want to ditch them because they are interfering with your dreams and looking after them would be a bit silly.
The time to think about that was before you got them.
Now it's time to punch yourself in the face and take care of them.
-- Vik
-
I am actually scared I'm going to feel somewhat like this when we eventually have kids... especially because dogs (we have 2, but one is 12 so might not make it 'til we have kids) require even more attention/work than cats :(
I felt that way for a little while, and I know my husband did too. The good news is, it passed. It was just during the infant + toddler phase when we were flat out exhausted all the time. As the kids have gotten older (and they're only 2 and 3.5, not even school age), I don't feel like that anymore. Babies just suck all your energy for a while.
There are so many good things about having pets with kids too. My kids learned about using "gentle hands" early on. They love animals. Kids with pets in the house are less likely to have allergies. They're great for kids with autism, which our older son has. When the children get older, having pets helps teach them responsibility - walking, litterbox, refilling food and water. I grew up with 4 dogs and a cat, and we walked the dogs every day, rain or shine. Walking with my parents for half an hour or more every night was a great time to talk and bond.
-
I am actually scared I'm going to feel somewhat like this when we eventually have kids... especially because dogs (we have 2, but one is 12 so might not make it 'til we have kids) require even more attention/work than cats :(
I felt that way for a little while, and I know my husband did too. The good news is, it passed. It was just during the infant + toddler phase when we were flat out exhausted all the time. As the kids have gotten older (and they're only 2 and 3.5, not even school age), I don't feel like that anymore. Babies just suck all your energy for a while.
There are so many good things about having pets with kids too. My kids learned about using "gentle hands" early on. They love animals. Kids with pets in the house are less likely to have allergies. They're great for kids with autism, which our older son has. When the children get older, having pets helps teach them responsibility - walking, litterbox, refilling food and water. I grew up with 4 dogs and a cat, and we walked the dogs every day, rain or shine. Walking with my parents for half an hour or more every night was a great time to talk and bond.
Okay, you and justajane have made me feel better :) We currently walk our dogs every day regardless of weather, too, and I have thought before that this seemed like it would be a good activity with kids. Even with just my boyfriend and me it's a nice time to catch up on each other's days. I grew up with a really small dog so she didn't get walked regularly, just ran around the yard with us.
-
I know it is slightly OT, but I had a middle aged dog and old cat when I had my baby. Cat died a month later (she was very old) so can't say a lot about cats and babies, except that for that one month they loved each other. Dog and baby, dog and child, just what microRN said. Our dog was a breed that is known to be very good with children, but also fairly high maintenance. The baby/child was a lot more maintenance!
We always have to think of what is best for our animals. I was considering taking in an adult dog (already had one dog of the same breed), but the first weekend she was with us (on probation) I knew it wouldn't work. She was fascinated by my cat (in a loving way) and would not leave the cat alone. Poor cat ended up taking refuge in windowsills where the dog could not reach. Dog had to go back to the original owner. Nice dog, got along well with my dog, but the cat was not happy.
-
We've been trying to adopt a hypoallergenic dog (any age) for the past month. Let me tell you, it is a total emotional roller coaster!
Frankly I am ready to buy a pet store dog. At least then when we found a dog we like, we could take it home. We have a nice home, fenced yard, three kids that would care for a dog, only part-time work so the dog wouldn't be left alone for long periods, financial resources to support the dog, and tons of love to give. For some reason, we can't seem to be "first" on the internet reply button to get the dog. The only two dogs we've looked at were already taken by the time we got there.
The most recent loss was super depressing. (I don't know how people can handle the ups and downs of adopting human children at this point.) We saw a 1 year old surrender on the internet at our local humane society. I literally called within 5 minutes after their opening time. Apparently the first "hold" had gotten there 30 minutes before opening and sat in their parking lot. (I didn't even know you could do that!) Then they left the poor dog in the shelter for three days - right up until the last hours of their hold! Penni (the dog) sat in the shelter for three days she didn't need to be there, and this other family already had a dog....
I'll just throw it out there that if anyone wants to rehome a dog in the Chicago area and it is hypoallergenic, we are ready to welcome them with open arms!
(That is if we don't succumb to our kids pleading on Valentine's Day and do the unmustachian/unethical thing and buy a dog.....)
Put in an application at a good/big rescue -- they usually keep it on file and will call pre-approved adopters that they think are a good match before posting dogs on their websites.
Thank you for the advice! We put in an application and a $200 pre-adoption fee and just got a rehome 14 month old Maltese. Of course he was sick the first two days and we ended up with some unmustachian vet expenses, but he's already another kiddo to me. Every time we leave or go to the car he's crazy freaked out. I think he is afraid he's going to another home. :-(. Then he's just so grateful when we get back to the house!
I think you could maybe find a neighbor on your block that might want them for a period of time - or maybe give one of your renters a discount to care for your cats while you are gone?
-
When my cat died I had decided not to get more as I was traveling for work. My best friend asked me if I would take her sister's two cats as they had broken out of her house while she was in the hospital (they were declawed), and the neighbor who was feeding them out of the goodness of her heart said they had to go! The sister was not considered to be able to care for them for the forseeable future (long story...). I ended up taking them and then getting a part time roomate to take care of the cats and house while I traveled. Then I took them to WA with me. Then I decided to go to Honduras for work. I call my friend and asked if the sister was able to care for the cats again, and the sister said she would be thrilled to get them back. It worked out for us all, especially the cats. I needed them big time while I was alone in WA for 2 years. She needed them back when she was better.
You might check senior housing apartment complexes for a long-term temporary home. Especially if you are willing to continue chipping in on the expense of caring for them. Some folks in senior housing would enjoy the cats, but don't want to adopt at this point in their lives or can't quite afford to care for pets as they would have prior to being on a fixed income.
-
You might check senior housing apartment complexes for a long-term temporary home. Especially if you are willing to continue chipping in on the expense of caring for them. Some folks in senior housing would enjoy the cats, but don't want to adopt at this point in their lives or can't quite afford to care for pets as they would have prior to being on a fixed income.
That's a great idea. A lot of senior homes don't take pets, but some of the nicer ones do.
-
Our plan though is to live in a place for 1-3 months, then move to the next country, live there for a bit, and then move on, and so on and so forth. We plan to travel the world for years.
Awesome, that's my FI plan too! I'll probably try to get one semester, one class teaching gigs just for fun (we'll see if that part works out, but at least it really just would be for fun and a way to meet more local people.)
On to the cats, here is an idea if you want to try it: My mom used to bring in tame strays quite a bit which she would place and homes and help people she knows rehome their pets. She always used the same strategy that involved placing a "free to good home" ad with a description of the pet and the key phrase "will deliver."
By delivering she got to see not just who was adopting but also where the pet was going. She wanted to avoid pet hoarders, for example. I can think of one time when I was with her and she just kept on driving because of the really horrible condition of the home's exterior. That may seem snooty, but she wanted someone who could and would take care of the animal. Several times this led to a person with mobility issues who wasn't driving. Sort of the senior home idea someone else posted, although the people weren't always seniors. As long as they seemed to have a good system for getting supplies and self care in place (and nothing beats a home visit for determining that) she was fine with those folks. You can pretty much tell watching someone interact with an animal if it has a good chance of being a good fit. Harder with cats, who tend to freak out when traveling, but you can observe the person to see if they are understanding of the pets behavior.
Also, and this is as key as the "will deliver" part, she always left her contact information when delivering the pet and asked the people to call her in the next couple of months if there were any problems at all and she would come pick the pet back up. One dog bounced back once ("too rowdy") and one cat came back from two different homes ("scratched the children"). In both of those cases she was able to find a better fit for the pet. Most of the time, though, she felt really good about the home where the pet was going when she delivered it and she never got a retrieval call. A couple of years ago I was able to home a cockatiel we found outside with this method and I was extremely happy with where the bird went (a couple who had one other bird who was obviously being babied.)
The drawback of my mom's method is that she had to deal with a lot of bozos who contacted her (and I had to deal with some crazy bird people when I placed the bird ad.) The vet where I took the bird to be checked the day I found it said to say it was found but not describe what the bird looked like in the ad, and this seemed counter-intuitive but turned out to be good advice since I was at first trying to find the original owner of a lost bird, not someone who just wanted a free bird to sell as apparently some birds are quite expensive. Mom wouldn't even consider going somewhere if the person didn't ask what the pet looked like. She was also skeptical if she had more than one pet and people wanted both but didn't ask for a description of them, as in the situation where she had two cats who had been living in her work warehouse. That is what makes your situation even more difficult because not many people want two new cats at once, although I adopted two adult cats at once myself so there's your counterpoint :-)
Good luck with finding them a home, ars! It is a very slow process, but it sounds like you have plenty of time and if you are persistent you will find a situation that you are very happy with. I had a friend find a home for her cat when they were moving to Hawaii because of the quarantine issue. Another friend who moved to Europe had to quarantine her cat for some ridiculous time like 3 months, and she said it was horrible for the cat. I think that you are being very responsible with the way you are going about this, so just hang in there and you'll find an awesome set up for the cats!
-
"As an Asian American (who has lived and spent a significant time in Asia), it drives me crazy when people say things like this. Most Asians don't eat dogs. I know plenty of Koreans who love their dogs deeply and consider them family members. I think twenty years ago that sentiment was likely more rare in Asia, but it's not at all uncommon now."
I think the statement that Koreans eat dogs is still accurate. Most might not, but a significant number of S. Koreans have tried it and it is popular in N. Korea.
In fact, between 30% and 60% of Koreans have tried dog meat. You couldn't say the same about Canadians. A very small percentage in South Korea eat it regularly, but dogs are bred for meat in Korea. In North Korea it is quite common and an official market price has been set by the government.
Dog meat is a delicacy still in East Timor. In the past (1979) dog was widely eaten in Hawaii and considered to be of higher quality than pork or chicken. The consumption of domestic dog meat is still commonplace in the Kingdom of Tonga, and has also been noted in expatriate Tongan communities in New Zealand, Australia, and the United States
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dog_meat
FYI I also lived and travelled in Asia for an extensive period of time. I never tried dog, but I was served horse and live fish.
I certainly wasn't disputing that dog meat is eaten in Asia and other parts of the world (not sure what gave you that impression). My point is that your statement is misleading. The phrase "Koreans eat dogs" is hardly representative of the "attitudes" Koreans have towards dogs and paints a highly inaccurate picture of the place dogs hold in Korean* society.
*I'm referring to South Korea here, as I'm not sure how much choice North Koreans have in their food sources.
You're actually both right in a way. The difference is that people have "meat dogs" and "domestic dogs". They aren't viewed the same.
Here's a wikipedia "article" about the breed if you're interested. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nureongi
-
I think that you are being very responsible with the way you are going about this, so just hang in there and you'll find an awesome set up for the cats!
Thanks. I hope so. We aren't doing anything until we do. :)
-
LOL about the Koreans eat dogs thing it made me think about our Craigslist dog Molly that we adopted in Las Vegas--my husband is Thai (they don't really eat dog meat in Thailand except maybe up North near the border with Laos) but the lady we adopted Molly from DID ask, very sheepishly just to make sure, if we were planning on making dog stew because she'd heard some things about Asians. My husband likes to joke about how good Mollycakes would be but the dog is a great addition to the family. Sometimes I hear the urban rumors about strangers adopting free pets and turning them into lab experiments/using them as bait in dog fighting rings/making them dinner and I think it's just that--urban legends. Just ask Mollycakes!
-
My family and I have all travelled a lot and had pets for the long term, so here are some suggestions. I haven't read the whole thread -- too many reminders of people and pets long gone and situations long resolved, so I am sorry if I am repetitious or if the ideas don't fit your situation.
Some boarding kennels have long term boarding situations. I am not talking animals sitting in cages for months on end, but brought into the house and living as part of the family. You might do a tour of kennels in the area that are focused on quality living situations.
Veterinary offices tend to have employees who are younger, but responsible people who are not making a lot of money but love pets are would like to help out. I would spread the word to every vet office.
My parents once went to Brazil for 9 months and rented out their house, completely furnished, with our dog included, to a fellow who was on sabbatical. For a year, our dog went from living in our house with my parents and two older teenaged daughters, to our house with two parents, three younger boys and another dog. He had a blast, from all accounts. I don't know if you apt could be part of the deal. Especially a place that allows pets. You could connect with local universities to let them know about this opportunity.
Advertise on Kijiji (do you have this in the US?) or on Craigslist for people who foster animals and explain. Offer to pay or to donate to whoever they foster animals for.
Use photos for all contacts. They are very persuasive. Good luck!
-
This could be a good suggestion.
In my case, I have two cats, 9 and 2. The nine year-old has medical issues that require him to have medicated food. Unfortunately, we are planning to retire to South America in 2 1/2 years. So we can't bring him with us, because we will never be able to get him the food he needs in Belize or Ecuador. Luckily, my husband's cousin is willing to take him, so we are financially planning to give her several thousand dollars to compensate her for the expensive food she is going to have to buy.
Our younger cat will be coming with us, assuming she can handle it. We will plan to do a little domestic traveling with her before we pull the plug, to see how well she tolerates it. If she really can't handle the stress, it will break my heart, but a good friend who loves her has said she will take our little Petunia. God, even thinking about it makes me sick. I love my little girl so much. But the most important thing is for her to be okay.
[/quote]
Kris - I've moved cross country with cats repeatedly. Don't bother travelling with them ahead of time, they can and will change their reactions for each move. Just move the cat, then let the cat take whatever time is needed to adjust. Meaning, it's ok to hide under the bed for a week (or a month).
My first move - cat was under the bed for 2 weeks. 2nd move - same cat was under the bed for 1 day.
-
There are other reasons I would find acceptable such as:
1. spouse is pregnant, immune-compromised and extremely worried about toxoplasmosis and doctor has advised against keeping cats. Yes, I know there are ways around this but I don't put a pet above a child's health against medical advice; and,
2. prolonged illness/poverty/homelessness.
While I agree rehoming can be anxiety-provoking for a pet, it is possible. We've adopted animals who thrived, as many others can attest to.
If I had to give up a pet I would do everything in my power to make sure they had a good home, including through providing financial support. My parents and I have agreed to take each others pets if need be.
FYI, you can test an animal to determine if they have the parasite that causes toxoplasmosis. You can also treat for the parasite.
-
Sure, pets get attached to their owners. But we recently adopted an elderly cat whose owner had died and so she'd been at the shelter for several months. She was skittish at first, but she's happy with us now. I think the cats will adapt.
Yes, if it makes you feel any better, your cats will forget all about you once they're settled in their new home. I find it comforting to know that I care about my cats way more than they care about me!
Going to disagree with you. Cats have more memory than you think. My cat remembered my sister after not seeing her for 3 years. Yes, there are some limits I'm sure, and it's going to vary based on the cat. Also, they're not the same as humans. But they have memories, emotions, feel pain and affection.
-
Yes, if it makes you feel any better, your cats will forget all about you once they're settled in their new home. I find it comforting to know that I care about my cats way more than they care about me!
This is simply not true. My cat loves my Dad to death. She used to see him weekly the first 5 years of her life. Then I moved, first to Vegas, then to CA. She is with me of course. Now she sees my Dad every 2 years or so.. (3 ? times in the last 5 years?) and each time as soon as he walked in the door she was twining around his legs and pruting at him.
Mind you that this is a cat that whenever any other stranger / guest walks into the house hided under the bed for an hour after they are gone.
If you had told me before I moved that the cat would remember my Dad after not seeing him in 2 years and moving across the country I would have said BS. But then I saw it with my own eyes. They remember. I dont know how, but they do.
Its not that they forget, but they live in the present. They don't "miss" you because they don't think about the past. At least not in the same way as people.
My cat went crazy when I came home after being gone for a few days. Roommates have told me he also went crazy when I was gone. Wandering around, meowing, etc.
Yeah, I really think it depends on the cat. I've had many of them in my life, and it's amazing to me how different their personalities have all been.
You are talking about short term absences. For a rehoming situation, the cat will settle into new surroundings within a few weeks and be fine. I would venture to guess that the adjustment period averages two weeks or less.
That would depend on the cat. For many cats I know, I agree a few weeks, up to a month and you'd be good. However, others I know would either have a much longer adjustment period (year or more), or would never be able to fully adjust. However, for the ones that would take a much longer time period, there may be an underlying problem preventing it.
-
I'm trying to slowly introduce a kitten to my older cat right now. What a frustrating process it's been for all humans and cats involved...If it doesn't turn for the better in a week or two, I'll have to bring the kitten back to the rescue organization. Not at all what I want to do, but sometimes it's the only option.
I assume that you've done the research on how to properly introduce cats. Call the rescue, ask for advice. Any decent place will be able to give you a ton of advice.
-
Since rehoming the cat isn't an option, what should they do?
Ummmm.......you DID ask the question toots. LOL!!!! How about send them this then? In most cases where there a will there is a way. http://jacksongalaxy.com/2014/08/21/aggression-in-cats/?utm_source=jg&utm_medium=fb&utm_term=20150205&utm_campaign=aggression-in-cats
Right. Perhaps I should have specified that they have spent the last six months trying everything they can think of (in consultation with their vet) and nothing works. I assumed oeople would understand the implied "nothing seems to work to get these cats to get along."
Cats are like permanent, very mobile toddlers. Sometimes they just don't like each other. In that case, once all options to resolve have failed, rehoming is probably the best decision. Just not easy
-
IDK if this could've an option for you but I was able to re home my beloved princesses, uh, cats, at a nearby dairy farm that had a mouse problem. they LOVE it and they do remember me. I was so glad that it worked out.
This concept works great for feral cats. They get shelter, food assistance, rodent problem is contained. Win-win. Love this! Also, get the ferals fixed!
Domestic cats (living in houses) - will depend on the cat. Many cats do not have the hunting skills to transition to being a barn cat.
-
We have a 17 year old cat who in many respects probably would have benefited from rehoming. Up until four years ago, we had two cats, but when my childhood cat died at 20+ years, we jumped at the chance to rehome her with my parents. She was the more annoying of our cats, i.e. extremely verbal for most of the day and night. Unfortunately our previously quiet cat learned this type of verbal behavior and now wanders around the house meowing at a very high volume. It's so loud that sometimes I mistake his meowing for the cry of our baby.
I would have never thought that we would be one of those people who resent their pets, but then we had kids. Life changed so much that honestly I do resent one more little creature that I have to clean up after. What ends up happening these days is that he spends most of his time in the basement. We can't let him out, because he is so loud that he wakes the baby up from his naps and wakes us all up at night. This has been going on for the past year.
I didn't feel comfortable rehoming him with anyone other than my parents, who didn't want two cats. That's why we have this situation in which we have a cat who deserves more affection than he is getting. I do think a commitment to your pet is for their life, but I think in this respect the perfect can be the enemy of the good. Because of this hard line, it is likely that I will never own another pet in my lifetime. The stress that this has put on me (guilt, etc.) means that I will probably never be willing to take on the responsibility again.
I've tried to have the conversation with my mom about their future pets. Their current cat (i.e. our cat) is around 14 years old. I asked her if they would get another cat when she dies. She said yes. My mom is 72 years old. I strongly encouraged her to adopt an older cat the next time around instead of a kitten, because I REALLY REALLY do not want to have to adopt her next one if and when she is no longer able to care for him or her. I might have to take a hard line on this and ask one of my other siblings (one of whom is single) to take on the burden. And yes, I do think of my pet as a burden at this point in my life. I would have never thought I could feel this way about a cat, but this is truly how I feel unfiltered. I feed him and scoop his poop, but I won't lie that in many respects I will be relieved when we are no longer pet owners.
Your cat may be unhappy because she is an only cat. And being very vocal about telling you about it. If that's the case, ask your mom for the cat back, at least for a few months to see what happens.
Also - some cats are just more talkative than others. We all know someone who never shuts up.Why was the cat talking? Maybe there was a need not being met?
-
We have a 17 year old cat who in many respects probably would have benefited from rehoming. Up until four years ago, we had two cats, but when my childhood cat died at 20+ years, we jumped at the chance to rehome her with my parents. She was the more annoying of our cats, i.e. extremely verbal for most of the day and night. Unfortunately our previously quiet cat learned this type of verbal behavior and now wanders around the house meowing at a very high volume. It's so loud that sometimes I mistake his meowing for the cry of our baby.
I would have never thought that we would be one of those people who resent their pets, but then we had kids. Life changed so much that honestly I do resent one more little creature that I have to clean up after. What ends up happening these days is that he spends most of his time in the basement. We can't let him out, because he is so loud that he wakes the baby up from his naps and wakes us all up at night. This has been going on for the past year.
I didn't feel comfortable rehoming him with anyone other than my parents, who didn't want two cats. That's why we have this situation in which we have a cat who deserves more affection than he is getting. I do think a commitment to your pet is for their life, but I think in this respect the perfect can be the enemy of the good. Because of this hard line, it is likely that I will never own another pet in my lifetime. The stress that this has put on me (guilt, etc.) means that I will probably never be willing to take on the responsibility again.
I've tried to have the conversation with my mom about their future pets. Their current cat (i.e. our cat) is around 14 years old. I asked her if they would get another cat when she dies. She said yes. My mom is 72 years old. I strongly encouraged her to adopt an older cat the next time around instead of a kitten, because I REALLY REALLY do not want to have to adopt her next one if and when she is no longer able to care for him or her. I might have to take a hard line on this and ask one of my other siblings (one of whom is single) to take on the burden. And yes, I do think of my pet as a burden at this point in my life. I would have never thought I could feel this way about a cat, but this is truly how I feel unfiltered. I feed him and scoop his poop, but I won't lie that in many respects I will be relieved when we are no longer pet owners.
I am actually scared I'm going to feel somewhat like this when we eventually have kids... especially because dogs (we have 2, but one is 12 so might not make it 'til we have kids) require even more attention/work than cats :(
It is possible but not inevitable. Some people take the whole transition in stride. Our neighbors have. They bought a second dog when they had a baby. But I have had conversations with several close friends who felt as we did. Honestly, I've noticed more of this sentiment with cat owners, if that's any consolation. Cats are a much longer commitment usually, and my husband just didn't understand this when he adopted two cats in his twenties. Yeah, I blame him ;).
Dogs might be more work, but they are not as MESSY. It's lovely to go on a family stroll with a dog and baby, especially if you have one person to push the stroller and one to hold the leash.
My main worry with dogs would be the safety of the breed and how they would react to a little person in the house.
I'm not a dog person. I'm a cat person. I don't like dogs who jump, bark at me, lick, or generally want anything from me. (I'm never getting a dog). The dogs I get along with fine are the best trained dogs. Training the dog so it behaves appropriately and then controlling baby interactions with the dog (or any animal) will prevent problems.
I never leave children alone with my cats. I trust the cats not to hurt the kid. I don't trust the kid not to hurt the cat.
-
I know it is slightly OT, but I had a middle aged dog and old cat when I had my baby. Cat died a month later (she was very old) so can't say a lot about cats and babies, except that for that one month they loved each other. Dog and baby, dog and child, just what microRN said. Our dog was a breed that is known to be very good with children, but also fairly high maintenance. The baby/child was a lot more maintenance!
We always have to think of what is best for our animals. I was considering taking in an adult dog (already had one dog of the same breed), but the first weekend she was with us (on probation) I knew it wouldn't work. She was fascinated by my cat (in a loving way) and would not leave the cat alone. Poor cat ended up taking refuge in windowsills where the dog could not reach. Dog had to go back to the original owner. Nice dog, got along well with my dog, but the cat was not happy.
In general, cats are fine with babies and kids. In general. Some cats don't like kids. Kids that haven't been taught how to behave with kids will hurt/scare the cats. Some kids just don't listen, at which point they get scratched/bitten and learn the hard way (that's what happened to me. I survived). Patience and supervision are key.
-
People lie/exaggerate about allergies a lot. There is a big difference between I get a little sneezy and have to take claritin and I can't breathe and have to go to the ER.
I concur. 99% of people who are allergic to cats if they just give it some time their body will adjust to them and the 'sniffles" will pass. There are soooooo many people who say they are allergic to cats and it's just flat out bullsh!t.
Interesting. Anecdotally, we know at least two friends who will not come to our house because we have a cat. One is definitely legit. She started getting sick once when she was holding our infant baby in a restaurant. She was reacting to the dander on our baby!