This is a bit of a necro post but I wanted to update. I have small automatic contributions going to the 529s. I gifted fpu class for Xmas and a fun gift they wanted. I did give the kids lots of stuff like clothes and diapers and things that could be necessities. I wasn't asked but I thought of it like a pre-emptive attack. The first phone call for money came a couple hours ago, they were a little short for the daycare bill. I said no, he whined, I said no but I was looking for a laptop for my son and would be willing to buy one of theirs if he wanted to sell stuff for cash.
He said maybe, he called my parents, they said no. I got a text saying that if his in laws couldn't lend it to them he's call me back and talk about the laptop if I was going to "be like that"
It surprisingly wasn't as hard as I thought it would be. I really do need to get my son a computer since we don't have a house one so I don't mind buying my brothers. Plus it will be the first time he's had to part with something to make ends meet. I could have been tougher I guess but I feel good about how it went down.
So thanks again everyone, I needed to stop a long time ago.