I've learned something about myself as of late -- I have this deep need to create things instead of striving for goals and "doing things."
Some examples -- I absolutely love gardens and gardening (exception: turf grass maintenance) and can devour podcasts and books for hours and dig in the dirt for hours, yet I am not intensely interested in becoming a professional horticulturalist (doing jobs for others). I enjoy the process, the freedom of it, the LACK of accountability to a schedule, and the total soul-satisfying nature of it. I enjoy talking about gardens, writing about gardens, taking pictures of gardens -- so in some way maybe that could be useful to someone else -- but I'm not interested in doing the hands on work for pay. I'm considering getting a horticulture certificate in ER, but only for my personal benefit -- so that I can learn landscape drawing, landscape construction, and can garden full-time for my own enjoyment (and possibly buy stuff wholesale.) (I also think it would be really cool to grow fruits and vegetables and give them away to a food pantry.) Let's just say that I am not looking to wow people with my "credentials", but would just be very satisfied to be a really good "gardener."
Example #2 - I enjoy cooking, a lot. I enjoy cooking classes and programs, visiting culinary institutes, etc. However, I would never enroll in cooking school or own a restaurant. I'm satisfied being a really good "home cook", not a chef.
Example #3 -- I run, albeit much less than I used to. I used to be much more hung up on having "goals," and being on "training plans." It become stressful. Now I run 3 days/week, listen to podcasts while I do it, and enjoy the outdoors. If it's rotten outside I use an indoor track (so I can still enjoy it).
My point is, I'm not the striver I used to be. Becoming more intrinsically motivated perhaps? Compensating for my dull desk job/work life perhaps?
I'm just wondering if others have reached this conclusion and how it played out for you before and after ER.
