Author Topic: Trying not to panic-formalwear needed  (Read 14379 times)

Workinghard

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Trying not to panic-formalwear needed
« on: September 02, 2014, 07:55:56 PM »
1. I hate shopping
2. I hate trying on clothes
3. I hate buying clothes

Now that's off my chest...I need a formal dress, preferably black, with a jacket, 3/4 sleeves, below the knee, for an average size, pushing 60 year old woman.

Two military ceremonies coming up, and maybe I could also wear it to a wedding or other event. For this, and because I so seldom buy clothes, I'm not concerned if it's a MMM dress, although I would like to keep it under $200.

ANY ideas of where to look online with free shipping and returns? I am so clueless when it comes to clothes!


resy

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Re: Trying not to panic-formalwear needed
« Reply #2 on: September 02, 2014, 08:08:45 PM »
I might get facepunched for suggesting it but what about white house black market? I dont like to shop either and Im a thifter but there are certain basics that are worth investing a little in IMHO.
This dress is appropriate, feminine and under 200 :) ive bought only one item from this store but i looove it.
http://m.whitehouseblackmarket.com/store/browse/product.jsp?maxRec=22&pageId=1&productId=570118125&viewAll=&prd=34+Sleeve+Lace+Belted+Fit+and+Flare+Black+Dress&subCatId=cat6179297&color=&fromSearch=&inSeam=&posId=7&catId=cat210002&cat=Dresses++Skirts+Little+Black+Dress&onSale=&colorFamily=&maxPg=2&size=

Workinghard

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Re: Trying not to panic-formalwear needed
« Reply #3 on: September 02, 2014, 08:10:08 PM »
Here's some nice ones from Overstock that meets your requirements.  I have found them to be very friendly about returns.

http://www.overstock.com/Clothing-Shoes/R-M-Richards-Womens-Beaded-Embellished-2-piece-Dress-Set/8933204/product.html?refccid=Q77ZR4ONOYU3L3KM7PDCV66XEI&searchidx=2

http://www.overstock.com/Clothing-Shoes/R-M-Richards-Womens-Gown-with-Jacket/9135465/product.html

Oh my gosh, how did you do that? That's the dress I was looking at. Lol. I've only bought one item from them and it wasn't clothes! Guess I'll give it a try. Thanks!

crispy

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Re: Trying not to panic-formalwear needed
« Reply #4 on: September 02, 2014, 08:12:16 PM »
Here's some nice ones from Overstock that meets your requirements.  I have found them to be very friendly about returns.

http://www.overstock.com/Clothing-Shoes/R-M-Richards-Womens-Beaded-Embellished-2-piece-Dress-Set/8933204/product.html?refccid=Q77ZR4ONOYU3L3KM7PDCV66XEI&searchidx=2

http://www.overstock.com/Clothing-Shoes/R-M-Richards-Womens-Gown-with-Jacket/9135465/product.html

Oh my gosh, how did you do that? That's the dress I was looking at. Lol. I've only bought one item from them and it wasn't clothes! Guess I'll give it a try. Thanks!

Maybe it's a sign!  It's a very pretty dress.

Workinghard

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Re: Trying not to panic-formalwear needed
« Reply #5 on: September 02, 2014, 08:14:57 PM »
I might get facepunched for suggesting it but what about white house black market? I dont like to shop either and Im a thifter but there are certain basics that are worth investing a little in IMHO.
This dress is appropriate, feminine and under 200 :) ive bought only one item from this store but i looove it.
http://m.whitehouseblackmarket.com/store/browse/product.jsp?maxRec=22&pageId=1&productId=570118125&viewAll=&prd=34+Sleeve+Lace+Belted+Fit+and+Flare+Black+Dress&subCatId=cat6179297&color=&fromSearch=&inSeam=&posId=7&catId=cat210002&cat=Dresses++Skirts+Little+Black+Dress&onSale=&colorFamily=&maxPg=2&size=

No face punch here! It looks nice too, but I prefer unfitted and nothing around my waist. I'm spoiled working/living in $15 scrubs. Thanks for the store suggestion. Going window shopping now!

Catbert

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Re: Trying not to panic-formalwear needed
« Reply #6 on: September 03, 2014, 01:43:45 PM »
Option from another 60-something:  Try looking at Lands' End.  I think free shipping if over $50.  (It changes every once in awhile.)  You can return what you don't want to Sears stores (at least the ones with a Lands' End section.)   Order a couple of dresses in a couple of sizes and see what works.

Some of their dresses are heavy polyester knit.  Stay away from those.


TrulyStashin

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Re: Trying not to panic-formalwear needed
« Reply #7 on: September 03, 2014, 01:51:24 PM »
If it's truly formal wear you need, then try Rent The Runway.   You choose the dress and they'll ship you several sizes.  You pay a low rental fee, wear it to your event, and ship it back.  https://www.renttherunway.com/rtr_home

I haven't looked to see if they have more conservative styles, but it's worth a try for a one-off formal event.

Lands End has some nice options but if you need something formal, they likely won't be dressy enough.

Side note... I LOVE White House Black Market and they have outlets.  Everything in the boutique this week will be in the outlet six weeks from now so if there is an outlet near you, then you can score nicely.

NumberCruncher

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Re: Trying not to panic-formalwear needed
« Reply #8 on: September 03, 2014, 02:12:31 PM »
This is an awesome site for (relatively) inexpensive, but tailored, clothes!
http://www.eshakti.com/

You can get anything hemmed, give them your exact measurements, and even change sleeve type, all for $7.50 (or free for your first customization). Free returns within 30 days, too.

Now, the shipping time takes a while, so it might not be the best choice (up to 14 business days).

Quote
I prefer unfitted and nothing around my waist.

Hmmm...so empire waist? It might be helpful to find some pictures of dresses that have the right cut or style. Do you mean like a loose fitting shift dress, like this shape: http://www.camillaandmarc.com/railroad-shift-dress-orange-peel.html (just looking at cut, not color, style, or price)?

Workinghard

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Re: Trying not to panic-formalwear needed
« Reply #9 on: September 03, 2014, 04:12:52 PM »
Thanks for the additional sites and suggestions. I'd probably be the most comfortable in the first link Crispy posted. I went ahead and ordered it. Oh, to be a size three and to be able to wear sleeveless! I don't suppose plastic surgery is very MMM.  :-)

resy

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Re: Trying not to panic-formalwear needed
« Reply #10 on: September 03, 2014, 05:04:37 PM »
If it's truly formal wear you need, then try Rent The Runway.   You choose the dress and they'll ship you several sizes.  You pay a low rental fee, wear it to your event, and ship it back.  https://www.renttherunway.com/rtr_home

I haven't looked to see if they have more conservative styles, but it's worth a try for a one-off formal event.

Lands End has some nice options but if you need something formal, they likely won't be dressy enough.

Side note... I LOVE White House Black Market and they have outlets.  Everything in the boutique this week will be in the outlet six weeks from now so if there is an outlet near you, then you can score nicely.

They have OUTLETS?!? Oh maaan I really wish I was in OP shoes right now so I can go to one justifiably :)

Dicey

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Re: Trying not to panic-formalwear needed
« Reply #11 on: September 03, 2014, 11:54:25 PM »
If it's truly formal wear you need, then try Rent The Runway.   You choose the dress and they'll ship you several sizes.  You pay a low rental fee, wear it to your event, and ship it back.  https://www.renttherunway.com/rtr_home
Oh my goodness, I love this site! I have a formal even in March, so I'm drooling over dresses now. Have you actually rented from them and had good luck?

theadvicist

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Re: Trying not to panic-formalwear needed
« Reply #12 on: September 04, 2014, 02:05:45 AM »
Probably something you've already thought of, but do you have any friends from whom you can borrow something? I'm lucky in that I have a good friend in a similar size and we don't have many cross-over friends, and we each know we can pull from our joint wardrobe.

But I understand this only works if you really like someone, and you're similar builds (my friend is much shorter than me, so I have to be careful on the length side!)

Workinghard

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Re: Trying not to panic-formalwear needed
« Reply #13 on: September 04, 2014, 03:42:40 AM »
Theadvicist, I did think about that but my best friend is almost twice my size-- my dh! Outside of work, and him, I don't really socialize. Our time off is spent with each other. It's a great idea for those with a large social network!

bonjourliz

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Re: Trying not to panic-formalwear needed
« Reply #14 on: September 04, 2014, 03:58:18 AM »
If it's truly formal wear you need, then try Rent The Runway.   You choose the dress and they'll ship you several sizes.  You pay a low rental fee, wear it to your event, and ship it back.  https://www.renttherunway.com/rtr_home
Oh my goodness, I love this site! I have a formal even in March, so I'm drooling over dresses now. Have you actually rented from them and had good luck?
I have several friends who have used this site -- all give rave reviews. Sounds like they really  have a great system going.  There are coupons floating around too.

MissPeach

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Re: Trying not to panic-formalwear needed
« Reply #15 on: September 04, 2014, 05:18:07 AM »
It looks like the op already got something but I was going to mention amazon, zappos, and Nordstrom. All have lots of choices in different price ranges/brands, free shipping, and free returns. All are companies pretty easy to deal with.

AllChoptUp

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Re: Trying not to panic-formalwear needed
« Reply #16 on: September 04, 2014, 09:38:50 AM »
If it's truly formal wear you need, then try Rent The Runway.   You choose the dress and they'll ship you several sizes.  You pay a low rental fee, wear it to your event, and ship it back.  https://www.renttherunway.com/rtr_home
Oh my goodness, I love this site! I have a formal even in March, so I'm drooling over dresses now. Have you actually rented from them and had good luck?
I have several friends who have used this site -- all give rave reviews. Sounds like they really  have a great system going.  There are coupons floating around too.

My friends swear by this - lots of formal to not so formal dresses.  Also has pics of site users in the dresses so you can find someone with your body type to see how it looks.  Lots of advice on how each dress fits, etc.  I'm going to use it for a fancy cocktail party in December. 

Villanelle

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Re: Trying not to panic-formalwear needed
« Reply #17 on: September 04, 2014, 10:15:53 AM »
I love Nordstrom.  Yes, they have some really expensive dresses, but they have a decent selection in your under $200 range as well.  Free returns with no hassle and no time limit. 

Your best bet for price-for-the-quality is to look at consignment stores.  They can be hit or miss with sizing, but it's usually worth a look.  I've had almost no luck at thrift stores, but consignment does a lot of culling so only the decent stuff makes it to the rack.

Also, if you have a Nordstrom's Rack near you, check that out.  Likewise many TJ Maxx, Ross, and Marshalls stores will have formal wear.  Often there is more formal stuff at the locations in more expensive neighborhoods. 

If Crispy's dress doesn't work, or you want to look for back ups, those are all solid options.  I buy most of my formals and cocktail dresses on ebay, but that only works if you have a brand and style that you feel confident will fit you well, since there are no returns (though you can resell anything that doesn't work.)

I've heard mixed reviews with Rent the Runway.  If you are a standard size, it can be great, but you can't tailor anything so if you are short or busty or anything non-standard, it doesn't work well.  Also, there's no margin for error.  If the dresses (I believe they send you 2 sizes of the same dress) don't fit or you hate them, your even it tomorrow and you are screwed.  Lastly, if it matters, RTR is very, very popular in the military world and it's not at all uncommon for there to be duplicates at the same event.  Of course, that can happen with any dress, but given the popularity of RTR and the fairly limited selection (compared to all the formal gowns in the shopping world), it's much more common.  To some people, that would be a big deal.



Workinghard

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Re: Trying not to panic-formalwear needed
« Reply #18 on: September 04, 2014, 12:05:20 PM »
Thanks, Villanelle. I appreciate the all the tips. The one dress has been shipped, but if it doesn't work I'll start visiting the stores you mentioned. Since I don't know one brand from another, eBay wouldn't work well for me although I did look there and on Amazon. I literally spent the day doing online shopping--a little more tolerable than shopping in person.  And then there's shoes, and I suppose I should get my hair done. Sigh. My dh is going to rent a tux....

greenmimama

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Re: Trying not to panic-formalwear needed
« Reply #19 on: September 04, 2014, 12:19:28 PM »
If it's truly formal wear you need, then try Rent The Runway.   You choose the dress and they'll ship you several sizes.  You pay a low rental fee, wear it to your event, and ship it back.  https://www.renttherunway.com/rtr_home

I haven't looked to see if they have more conservative styles, but it's worth a try for a one-off formal event.

Lands End has some nice options but if you need something formal, they likely won't be dressy enough.

Side note... I LOVE White House Black Market and they have outlets.  Everything in the boutique this week will be in the outlet six weeks from now so if there is an outlet near you, then you can score nicely.

That is such a cool site, I'm pretty sure my friend got her bridal gown from there, she said she rented it and I think I saw it on the site. If I had any reason to need one that is the way to go!

lakemom

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Re: Trying not to panic-formalwear needed
« Reply #20 on: September 04, 2014, 01:55:49 PM »
THANK YOU!!!  The rent the runway site looks amazing.  My son is getting married at the end of Dec. in the arctic Midwest and finding a floor length, long sleeved gown seemed overwhelming the several times I looked so far.  I saw at least 4 on the site I thought would work AND look good on me.  Since the wedding is the 28th, for those who know people who have used the site, should I attempt to make a decision and reserve a dress soon?  Will everything be 'taken' if I wait until say early Nov?  It will be basically 3 days before all the big New Year's Eve parties.

greenmimama

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Re: Trying not to panic-formalwear needed
« Reply #21 on: September 04, 2014, 02:10:55 PM »
THANK YOU!!!  The rent the runway site looks amazing.  My son is getting married at the end of Dec. in the arctic Midwest and finding a floor length, long sleeved gown seemed overwhelming the several times I looked so far.  I saw at least 4 on the site I thought would work AND look good on me.  Since the wedding is the 28th, for those who know people who have used the site, should I attempt to make a decision and reserve a dress soon?  Will everything be 'taken' if I wait until say early Nov?  It will be basically 3 days before all the big New Year's Eve parties.

I haven't done it, but I would reserve early for sure!

Villanelle

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Re: Trying not to panic-formalwear needed
« Reply #22 on: September 07, 2014, 05:02:14 AM »
You definitely don't need to get your hair done, unless you want to do so for the experience.  At the many military functions I've been to, probably 95% of the women do their own hair. And most of the styles are pretty simple.  Hair down with one side maybe pinned back, clean low ponytail, stuff like that.   I am totally clueless about hair.  I can't do anything fancy.  I usually just flat iron my already mostly straight hair and then maybe pin back one side to keep it out of my face.

In fact, most of the women who get their hair done look sort of out of place, because they usually have prom-style updos, which look a little juvenile and twee. 

Can you borrow shoes from a friend?  A formal shoe is generally pretty generic and interchangeable, and most people don't wear them a lot so they'd likely b happy to let you have them for one night, or even a few.  If not, again, thrift stores are great for this, if you have a little patience.  If not, the TJ Maxx et al is a good cheap way to go, or Payless has formal styles, though they aren't always especially comfortable because they are cheap.  Or Amazon, though that can be tough with shoes, if you care much about comfort.

Workinghard

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Re: Trying not to panic-formalwear needed
« Reply #23 on: September 07, 2014, 04:42:03 PM »
Villanelle, I'd rather save the money than pay for the experience! Thanks for your insight. The only military function I've been too was our son's BMT graduation. I'll definitely look for cheap shoes but will need to try them on.

AllChoptUp

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Re: Trying not to panic-formalwear needed
« Reply #24 on: September 08, 2014, 11:37:18 AM »
Agree with Villanelle, no need to get your hair done.  Have been to many military balls and the best dressed civilians look classy and elegant, not like they are ready for prom.

Workinghard

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Re: Trying not to panic-formalwear needed
« Reply #25 on: September 08, 2014, 02:39:08 PM »
Agree with Villanelle, no need to get your hair done.  Have been to many military balls and the best dressed civilians look classy and elegant, not like they are ready for prom.

Thanks! I happily live in scrubs and have no sense of style. Ha ha

Helvegen

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Re: Trying not to panic-formalwear needed
« Reply #26 on: September 08, 2014, 03:29:12 PM »
I walked into Macy's looking for a formal dress. They had the most awesome black knee length RL dress there for $49, marked down from $200. It was a minor miracle because it looked so good on me. Macy's always seems to have nice stuff on the clearance rack when I go in, fwiw.

Workinghard

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Re: Trying not to panic-formalwear needed
« Reply #27 on: September 08, 2014, 03:35:56 PM »
My dress came, fits, and looks decent! Whew! A little lower than I expected, so I'll get a button/hook thread thing or something to put on the sheer jacket. Glad that part is over.


Villanelle

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Re: Trying not to panic-formalwear needed
« Reply #28 on: September 08, 2014, 05:02:34 PM »
I walked into Macy's looking for a formal dress. They had the most awesome black knee length RL dress there for $49, marked down from $200. It was a minor miracle because it looked so good on me. Macy's always seems to have nice stuff on the clearance rack when I go in, fwiw.

I don't know what event you are attending, but if it is knee-length, then the dress is not formal.  Certainly the rules on these things have relaxed greatly in the last few decades, but if you are going to a place where true formal is expected, a LBD isn't going to be appropriate. 

JSmith

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Re: Trying not to panic-formalwear needed
« Reply #29 on: October 21, 2014, 04:13:18 AM »
Here's an awesome one from Azazie.com that meets your requirements.
http://www.azazie.com/products/azazie-adriana-bridesmaid-dress?color=black
formal, black, with a jacket, 3/4 sleeves, below the knee,under $200 and suits your age. Have a look :)

Workinghard

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Re: Trying not to panic-formalwear needed
« Reply #30 on: October 21, 2014, 03:36:02 PM »
JSmith, I'm not sure who you're replying to. I'm the OP and did end up with a dress. One formal black dress is all I'll need for the rest of my life. Hopefully I'll be able to wear it more than once. Lol

Anyway,  thanks for posting and welcome to MMM!


Villanelle

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Re: Trying not to panic-formalwear needed
« Reply #31 on: March 05, 2018, 06:51:50 AM »
I'm guessing she's already gotten a dress, since it has been 3.5 years!