My wife has recently decided to become much more serious about her faith. I have never been religious, and she has known this. When we first got together, she was what I would consider a “Christian in name only,” but she has started going to church every week, joined a life group, and tonight dropped a bombshell that she wants to tithe after returning from a church membership class.
Current income is around $96k, and we currently invest ~50%. My goal with investing is to reach a point where I can spend more time with our current and any future children. She proposed only tithing her income, which would come out to $4,400 per year in donations, adding roughly two years to our FI journey.
It means a lot to her, but I just can’t wrap my head around why people fall for this stuff. They’re guilting people into giving money, to the point where it hurts relationships- all for a deity who, from my understanding of the Bible, is kind of an asshole even if he is real.
Unfortunately, all of the articles I found online were written to the spouse that wants to tithe, not the one that doesn’t, so I feel like I’m in uncharted waters here.
I’m considering consenting to 10% of her income on the condition that I can still retire when I am currently projecting, at the expense of her having to continue working. Most importantly, I don’t want a rift in our marriage, as I love her very much.
Thoughts?
I was an atheist all of my life. I realized I hate Capitalism. I sold a town house in Ottawa and moved to a city of 15000 in the Maritimes. I own a $135k house outright, a $9k used Fiat 500.
In moving in the Fiat 500 I got rid of most everything but photos, clothes, and some art that means a lot tto me. But I move and buy more crap than I need? Because I have money. MMM is right. Never shop! It is like a casino. But I needed a lot of things. And with PTSD... patience was not my virtue. I didn't wait for 8 weeks of Saturday Garage Sales. Dollarama, Wal-Mart, Canadian Tire, Winners... mot patient enough to wait on decent colourful dishes at the Salvation Army Store. Gotta buy a $50 plus tax set for 4.... I even bought some Spider-Man action figures? Because apparently I needed to fill up a house too big for one person and a small dog?
It is personal. My family got very rich in the last decade running shifty websites. And decided to ruin my life? The richer they got, the worse they acted.
I feel like Jesus actually talked to me. About 10 days ago. I have been a staunch atheist since I was 6 or 7 years old. Probably like you.
He told me "The less you have, the happier you are." I believe it happened. My neighbour's heard me in my back yard screaming at God. I have bruises on my chest from punching myself. I called out God and he taught me to submit and own my sins and change. I feel, or felt so guilty for all my own waste and consumerism. I feel bad having a car. Since I don't truly need one. But I will wait until Spring to sell it. I am quite the mess and might actually need it some until I am physically and mentally healthy enough to go full in badassitry.
It is weird. I could have had a psychotic break, I am a complete mess. Maybe I did? But I sm happier. I gave all the tthings I bought I didn't need to charity for back to school in this poorer city. Then I gave $2300 to the Food Bank. Pretty much what I wasted. So I doubled my penalty for being a selfish, wasteful fool.
I understand how you feel, I would have maybe felt the same. I am all alone. i can be a Jesus Communist all I want. Let poor people stay in my house? I have a half acre. Thinking of planting trees in the back and a free campsite for anyone, like bikers and hikers.
You two are a couple. I would suggest you just agree. Maybe tithe your income to a charity you believe in, and not her church. Because you have a family and wife with faith willing to sacrifice for others. Money is not very important compared to that.
Bite you tongue, or better yet join in and fully buy in to giving more than feels comfortable.
Since then, I am randomly picking up litter here and there. I am changed. I was losing faith in the goodness of people, with politics as it is. If you retire 2 years later, you probably will enjoy working more until then.
Just my opinion.