I think there's plenty of research that indicates automobiles are the single most wasteful thing we spend money on. Societally we are conditioned to want them even when there's no rational reason.
"Unlearn, what you have learned." - Yoda
But how do you convince a spouse that their desire for an expensive toy is selfish, irresponsible, and financially detrimental to not just you but also your children? That basically, driving ANY car is a poor financial decision, but wanting a new/newish (still depreciating) car is downright dumb?
Speaking as a former automotive junkie, I had to go through a few stages of realization. What finally did the trick was for me to take an honest assessment of how many minutes out of the day I actually used my car for a legitimate purpose. Then I took the average transaction price for the car I wanted, broke it out into a cost per hour, and realized that spending that kind of money to convey myself from my house to my job was MORONIC. Like giving Donald Drumpf nuclear codes and a list of world leaders who threw shade his way on Twitter dumb (sorry, couldn't resist).
And that was JUST the cost of the car itself, not factoring in insurance, fuel, and maintenance. When you look at what it actually costs to own and operate a car you should be mortified. Take that same money and run calculations of how much it could earn you just at an index rate over the life of the loan. Also look at the rate of depreciation and figure what you could earn just on what you'd lose over the first three years alone.
Again, everyone knows new cars are a terrible, TERRIBLE waste of money, regardless their financial situation. For whatever reason, the majority of consumers ignore that knowledge and buy them anyway. And not just buy new cars, but buy more than they need and not keep it long enough to even make the expense remotely responsible. Do not agree to let your spouse buy a new one. DO NOT. Have this discussion/argument until they start to get it. Every time they say, "BUT I WANT IT!" say no, you can't have it. Speaking as someone who had this affliction, they will realize it long before they accept it, even if they continue to whine about to for months or years.
To address the AWD question - get winter/snow tires. Look for videos comparing an AWD car with all-season tires to a RWD car with snow tires. You'll be amazed. In short, AWD offers some benefits in bad weather, but not many that could not be better addressed with a set of season appropriate tires. Also be aware that with Subarus, if you lose a tire and have to replace it, you then have to replace all four. Any uneven wear, weight, or balance will eventually destroy the mechanical center differential.
https://www.google.com/search?q=awd+cars+replace+all+four+tires&oq=awd+cars+replace+all+four+tires&aqs=chrome..69i57.4274j0j7&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8