Author Topic: Spouse craves fancy pants car. What to do?  (Read 7580 times)

studentoflife

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Spouse craves fancy pants car. What to do?
« on: July 28, 2016, 06:19:15 PM »
We have a recently purchased 11yo economy hatchback recently purchased 12yo small 4wd truck, and beater 18yo 4wd wagon. No vehicle is used exclusively by either of us, we trade back and forth based who is doing what.

In my opinion, we need to immediately sell the beater and be done with vehicle purchases for at least the next five years

Spouse on the other hand really wants to purchase a 3yo or newer AWD wagon, must have low miles and leather. We agree this is a want and not a need, but my spouse feels deserving of a newer car and wants a vehicle that is "all mine" as opposed to sharing. Both the truck and economy car were purchased primarily to serve the various needs of our business inexpensively not because they were dream cars. However, they also meet our needs for personal transportation.

Price range is $15k to $25k. Could buy outright at $15k, but need to finance a portion at $25k. We currently save half our monthly income and have no debt but our very small mortgage. We have not started to save for retirement  and are in our late 20s but will be eligible for a single defined benefit pension at 55, which is early enough retirement for us - we both work only about 3/4 of full time and enjoy both our with and our copious free time. We are also just getting started career wise, and past savings, investments, and windfalls have gone to home purchase, traveling, and moving a couple times.

In defense of 4wd/AWD, our area gets lots of inclement weather, snow/ice, and frequent driving on dirt/gravel is the nature of our road system.
Thoughts?
« Last Edit: July 28, 2016, 06:22:28 PM by studentoflife »

ender

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Re: Spouse craves fancy pants car. What to do?
« Reply #1 on: July 28, 2016, 06:30:42 PM »
We are also just getting started career wise, and past savings, investments, and windfalls have gone to home purchase, traveling, and moving a couple times.

... and suddenly, "just a few purchases" away and you're 55 with no money.

There's always something.

A car.

Home repairs/improvements.

Travel.

Gifts.

Children.

You have to take your picks for what you care about and spend on it.

Bajadoc

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Re: Spouse craves fancy pants car. What to do?
« Reply #2 on: July 28, 2016, 06:53:22 PM »
Drive the beaters until you own enough money. Most people can retire on what they spend on cars. Look it up.

airstreamdreams

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Re: Spouse craves fancy pants car. What to do?
« Reply #3 on: July 28, 2016, 07:14:49 PM »
Speaking as someone who was just like your wife a week ago, for similar reasons, I would recommend she consider what's missing in her life that will be fulfilled with the car she wants and it being hers.

I spent the last month trying to convince my partner that we should consolidate the cars we have, an AWD SUV and a Honda Fit for one AWD Outback because of the inclement weather we get: snow, ice, etc., and the comfort from a newer car during our 6 hour road trips we have multiple a year to visit family.

Once I read, MMMs article on the AWD false-sense of security, the lure of the Outback was gone.

My partner's approach was to tell me the reasons why it wasn't a financially sound choice to buy a new car and to stall until we sell one of the cars.

Hope this helps!


studentoflife

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Re: Spouse craves fancy pants car. What to do?
« Reply #4 on: July 28, 2016, 07:59:52 PM »
Quote
... and suddenly, "just a few purchases" away and you're 55 with no money.

There's always something.

A car.

Home repairs/improvements.

Travel.

Gifts.

Children.

You have to take your picks for what you care about and spend on it.

My sentiments exactly

Quote
Drive the beaters until you own enough money. Most people can retire on what they spend on cars. Look it up.

That is my position.

Quote
Once I read, MMMs article on the AWD false-sense of security, the lure of the Outback was gone.

I've read this post as well and can appreciate it, though I don't agree with all of it, especially as it pertains too our particular situation. In any case, the cheap truck we already own is more than capable of meeting our needs.

I'm convinced we don't need it, and prefer not to, but I am only half the partnership. My spouse is of the opinion that I'm being needlessly frugal with money we both earned and it's controlling for me not to support the purchase. Being the one who does the math and finances, I'm off the opinion that the only reason we're doing well as we are is because of frugality, and it's a slippery slope between financial freedom and imprisonment.


galliver

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Re: Spouse craves fancy pants car. What to do?
« Reply #5 on: July 28, 2016, 08:08:47 PM »
Don't discount and dismiss your spouses's opinions and desires because they're different from your own and that of people on this site. Discuss until you come to a unanimous decision as a couple, whether it is a concession or a compromise or an agreement to reevaluate at a specific future time or milestone. Either treat your spouse as a partner and an equal with as much say in this matter (and others) as you, or you might as well divorce right now.

I get the sense you don't really "get" what's driving the desire for this car; if it's just a matter of "want" and "deserve" why a car and not a handbag or TV or bouquet of flowers or ice cream? Why is the car more important than money in the bank or retirement? If you can't answer these questions, OR if you are just guessing and they haven't actually TOLD you the answers, you need to go to them and listen. Because you will never convince them by reiterating your own perspective, endlessly. You need to see things from their perspective and tailor your arguments to that. And stay respectful and loving.

Alex239

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Re: Spouse craves fancy pants car. What to do?
« Reply #6 on: July 28, 2016, 11:24:11 PM »
sounds like sumbudy wants a new'baru. forget that. I bought a 2000 with 160k miles with a known headgasket problem, drove it from the oweners hosue to my mechanic. drop 1.2k for the car and 2k on repairs and .4 on tires. I'm under 4k and have a good 100k more to go. I did spend another .8k for some electrical work and now it runs like a champ. about 4.5k all in and almost 2 years of ownership.

Tjat

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Re: Spouse craves fancy pants car. What to do?
« Reply #7 on: July 29, 2016, 06:22:55 AM »
It seems that you need to have a discussion with your spouse about common goals. What does 15K mean to you and your priorities...now and after 10 years with compounding interest?

Personally, this early in your accumulation phase, spending such a huge portion of your assets on a depreciating asset that offers very little functional benefit seems absolutely foolish. This is really a clear cut example of mustachianism vs spendypants consumerist. Just because you have the money to buy something, doesn't mean you should.

I hope your wife sees reason. Even a compromise on a 12-15k car seems ludicrous.


Playing with Fire UK

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Re: Spouse craves fancy pants car. What to do?
« Reply #8 on: July 29, 2016, 08:47:33 AM »
Ask a few more questions about this 'all mine' want that your spouse is expressing.

My car is a POS, but it is MY piece of shit and that is important to me. I have my overnight bag, my snacks, a bag of work clothes and toolbelt in there. I have bottles of wine for presents/spontaneous picnics. If I get caught in the snow I can spend a very comfortable night asleep in there. When I'm in my car I never get caught out by thinking 'I wish I had ... with me'. This is important to me. It drives me crazy when I'm in my SO's (much cleaner, arguably nicer) car and there isn't a bottle of water or change for parking in there (seriously, there is nothing in there).

I would much prefer to have a car that was broadly 'all mine' rather than sharing one/two/three cars between two people. This isn't me being possessive as we both have access to each other's car (and SO uses mine freely for moving landscaping stuff), we share the purchasing costs of our vehicles and we make buying decisions together.

If it is the sole/primary use of a vehicle that your spouse wants, could you make that happen more easily? How about detailing / adding some leather seat covers to one of the existing cars? It could be that your spouse is feeling deserving of the new vehicle because some progress feels unacknowledged, or there are insecurities about being seen in a beater.

I could be totally off base here; but it sounds like you've not got to the root of what is driving the desire to have this new truck. I'd bet that if you can identify what the actual need is, you can find a solution cheaper than $15k. Also, if you don't, then the new truck probably won't fix whatever this is about either.

Slee_stack

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Re: Spouse craves fancy pants car. What to do?
« Reply #9 on: July 29, 2016, 10:57:38 AM »
I'm in the midst of downgrading cars.  I'm going from ridiculous to semi ridiculous.  Its a process.

If you both can genuinely be comfortable with the true cost (in terms of cash cushion, retirement date, everything) of getting whatever car, then get it.

Somehow you two have to recognize and agree on what is more value to both of you.  If retirement is too far off to justify saving 'years', perhaps couch it in terms of other 'fun' things you won't be able to do as a result of buying the car.


mm1970

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Re: Spouse craves fancy pants car. What to do?
« Reply #10 on: July 29, 2016, 11:06:37 AM »
I kind of get it, because for about 4 years now I've really wanted a minivan.

I have 2 kids.
Occasionally I've had the "need" (not really) to drive 5 kids.  Meaning, I could see when it would be convenient to do so.  But obv I can't do that in a Matrix.

So I get the desire for something newer, bigger, and nicer.

So, how about this...I've pretty much convinced myself that the next car is probably going to be a minivan.  But that's not going to happen until it needs to happen. Namely, when the car I'm currently driving (a 10 year old Matrix), dies.

It being a Toyota, it's not likely to die anytime soon.  And honestly, will probably make it *past* the minivan-desire-age (aka, once oldest kid is out of high school).  The only exception is an accident.  (In 2009 our Prizm was t-boned, otherwise we'd still be driving it.  It was a 2001.)

I think some of it might be the idea of "never".  But maybe you could convince him/her "later".  Meaning: "I totally agree to buy a new, leather seat, Subi (or whatever) when X car dies.  Dies being defined as: doesn't run anymore, requires $y-thousand in repairs, or is totaled".

SeaEhm

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Re: Spouse craves fancy pants car. What to do?
« Reply #11 on: July 29, 2016, 01:36:13 PM »
Don't discount and dismiss your spouses's opinions and desires because they're different from your own and that of people on this site. Discuss until you come to a unanimous decision as a couple, whether it is a concession or a compromise or an agreement to reevaluate at a specific future time or milestone. Either treat your spouse as a partner and an equal with as much say in this matter (and others) as you, or you might as well divorce right now.

I get the sense you don't really "get" what's driving the desire for this car; if it's just a matter of "want" and "deserve" why a car and not a handbag or TV or bouquet of flowers or ice cream? Why is the car more important than money in the bank or retirement? If you can't answer these questions, OR if you are just guessing and they haven't actually TOLD you the answers, you need to go to them and listen. Because you will never convince them by reiterating your own perspective, endlessly. You need to see things from their perspective and tailor your arguments to that. And stay respectful and loving.




He should tell her that she is foolish, dumb, and that money in the bank is going to make her happier than driving in a car she likes every day of her life.  At the same time, he should start telling her that she is about to get her wedding ring pawned.

galliver

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Re: Spouse craves fancy pants car. What to do?
« Reply #12 on: July 29, 2016, 02:03:07 PM »
Don't discount and dismiss your spouses's opinions and desires because they're different from your own and that of people on this site. Discuss until you come to a unanimous decision as a couple, whether it is a concession or a compromise or an agreement to reevaluate at a specific future time or milestone. Either treat your spouse as a partner and an equal with as much say in this matter (and others) as you, or you might as well divorce right now.

I get the sense you don't really "get" what's driving the desire for this car; if it's just a matter of "want" and "deserve" why a car and not a handbag or TV or bouquet of flowers or ice cream? Why is the car more important than money in the bank or retirement? If you can't answer these questions, OR if you are just guessing and they haven't actually TOLD you the answers, you need to go to them and listen. Because you will never convince them by reiterating your own perspective, endlessly. You need to see things from their perspective and tailor your arguments to that. And stay respectful and loving.




He should tell her that she is foolish, dumb, and that money in the bank is going to make her happier than driving in a car she likes every day of her life.  At the same time, he should start telling her that she is about to get her wedding ring pawned.

First, the OP didn't actually say if spouse is male or female. Men can be juust as spendy on cars as women (if not more...)

Second, supposing that is the situation, she can call you/him a controlling, insensitive asshole, take her vagina, and LEAVE. I think there's a thread on here about how divorce is a "weapon of mass financial destruction."

little_brown_dog

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Re: Spouse craves fancy pants car. What to do?
« Reply #13 on: July 29, 2016, 07:01:51 PM »
Quote
... and suddenly, "just a few purchases" away and you're 55 with no money.

There's always something.

A car.

Home repairs/improvements.

Travel.

Gifts.

Children.

You have to take your picks for what you care about and spend on it.

My sentiments exactly

Quote
Drive the beaters until you own enough money. Most people can retire on what they spend on cars. Look it up.

That is my position.

Quote
Once I read, MMMs article on the AWD false-sense of security, the lure of the Outback was gone.

I've read this post as well and can appreciate it, though I don't agree with all of it, especially as it pertains too our particular situation. In any case, the cheap truck we already own is more than capable of meeting our needs.

I'm convinced we don't need it, and prefer not to, but I am only half the partnership. My spouse is of the opinion that I'm being needlessly frugal with money we both earned and it's controlling for me not to support the purchase. Being the one who does the math and finances, I'm off the opinion that the only reason we're doing well as we are is because of frugality, and it's a slippery slope between financial freedom and imprisonment.

I dont understand why your partner thinks you are in a place to blow money on a completely unnecessary car when you say you have yet to start saving for retirement. If you had no debt, a bunch of expendable extra income, AND were saving well for retirement the story would be different. Tell them they can get a new car when you are already saving x amount towards retirement.

Altons Bobs

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Re: Spouse craves fancy pants car. What to do?
« Reply #14 on: July 30, 2016, 12:02:58 AM »
Has your spouse read Millionaire Next Door?  ;-) 

Playing with Fire UK

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Re: Spouse craves fancy pants car. What to do?
« Reply #15 on: July 30, 2016, 12:33:48 AM »
He should tell her that she is foolish, dumb, and that money in the bank is going to make her happier than driving in a car she likes every day of her life.  At the same time, he should start telling her that she is about to get her wedding ring pawned.

First, the OP didn't actually say if spouse is male or female. Men can be juust as spendy on cars as women (if not more...)

Second, supposing that is the situation, she can call you/him a controlling, insensitive asshole, take her vagina, and LEAVE. I think there's a thread on here about how divorce is a "weapon of mass financial destruction."

First: agreed. Even if people have hunted around the rest of the forum to correctly identify the gender of OP's spouse; the OP has presented it in a gender-neutral way so it seems pretty rude to unnecessarily make this about gender. [Unless there are some fancy new genital-specific accessories on new trucks that I need to know about]

Second: I have a theory there may have been a touch of sarcasm in SeaEhm's post

galliver

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Re: Spouse craves fancy pants car. What to do?
« Reply #16 on: July 30, 2016, 01:13:27 AM »
He should tell her that she is foolish, dumb, and that money in the bank is going to make her happier than driving in a car she likes every day of her life.  At the same time, he should start telling her that she is about to get her wedding ring pawned.

First, the OP didn't actually say if spouse is male or female. Men can be juust as spendy on cars as women (if not more...)

Second, supposing that is the situation, she can call you/him a controlling, insensitive asshole, take her vagina, and LEAVE. I think there's a thread on here about how divorce is a "weapon of mass financial destruction."

First: agreed. Even if people have hunted around the rest of the forum to correctly identify the gender of OP's spouse; the OP has presented it in a gender-neutral way so it seems pretty rude to unnecessarily make this about gender. [Unless there are some fancy new genital-specific accessories on new trucks that I need to know about]

Second: I have a theory there may have been a touch of sarcasm in SeaEhm's post
It can be hard to tell on here. ;) I might have assumed as much, if not for the gif.

Sent from my SM-G900V using Tapatalk


SeaEhm

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Re: Spouse craves fancy pants car. What to do?
« Reply #17 on: July 30, 2016, 09:05:23 AM »
He should tell her that she is foolish, dumb, and that money in the bank is going to make her happier than driving in a car she likes every day of her life.  At the same time, he should start telling her that she is about to get her wedding ring pawned.

First, the OP didn't actually say if spouse is male or female. Men can be juust as spendy on cars as women (if not more...)

Second, supposing that is the situation, she can call you/him a controlling, insensitive asshole, take her vagina, and LEAVE. I think there's a thread on here about how divorce is a "weapon of mass financial destruction."

First: agreed. Even if people have hunted around the rest of the forum to correctly identify the gender of OP's spouse; the OP has presented it in a gender-neutral way so it seems pretty rude to unnecessarily make this about gender. [Unless there are some fancy new genital-specific accessories on new trucks that I need to know about]

Second: I have a theory there may have been a touch of sarcasm in SeaEhm's post
It can be hard to tell on here. ;) I might have assumed as much, if not for the gif.

Sent from my SM-G900V using Tapatalk

I thought it was pretty blatantly obvious when SeaEhm stated that OP should tell her that she is going to get her wedding ring pawned.  (because wedding rings are complete wastes of money right - according to many members here)

LouLou

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Re: Spouse craves fancy pants car. What to do?
« Reply #18 on: July 30, 2016, 01:58:10 PM »
Don't discount and dismiss your spouses's opinions and desires because they're different from your own and that of people on this site. Discuss until you come to a unanimous decision as a couple, whether it is a concession or a compromise or an agreement to reevaluate at a specific future time or milestone. Either treat your spouse as a partner and an equal with as much say in this matter (and others) as you, or you might as well divorce right now.

I get the sense you don't really "get" what's driving the desire for this car; if it's just a matter of "want" and "deserve" why a car and not a handbag or TV or bouquet of flowers or ice cream? Why is the car more important than money in the bank or retirement? If you can't answer these questions, OR if you are just guessing and they haven't actually TOLD you the answers, you need to go to them and listen. Because you will never convince them by reiterating your own perspective, endlessly. You need to see things from their perspective and tailor your arguments to that. And stay respectful and loving.

Agreed.  Your spouse thinks that a particular type of car is a solution to a set of problems or a way to satisfy a set of needs/wants.  What are the problems?  What are the needs/wants?  When you two figure that out, then you can brainstorm solutions together, collaboratively.

For example, for a while I wanted a newer car for bluetooth.  I listen to lots of music and audiobooks while driving, and changing songs or going back in the book to get something I missed on my phone is dangerous.  Turns out, there are $40 bluetooth adapters that plug into the aux port.  Problem solved; I'm still driving my same econobox.

Also, keep in mind that people are genuinely different and that is okay.  Your spouse may value aesthetics and comfort more than you do.  That does not automatically make your spouse a doofus.  That value can be addressed, perhaps in a well-made older vehicle that costs much less than $15k.

Also, start saving for retirement.

Metric Mouse

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Re: Spouse craves fancy pants car. What to do?
« Reply #19 on: July 31, 2016, 05:46:56 AM »
He should tell her that she is foolish, dumb, and that money in the bank is going to make her happier than driving in a car she likes every day of her life.  At the same time, he should start telling her that she is about to get her wedding ring pawned.

Pawn shops are terrible. Craigslist that shit, please.  And to be fair, they could easily compromise with a nice, used bicycle for the spouse to ride.

SimplyMarvie

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Re: Spouse craves fancy pants car. What to do?
« Reply #20 on: July 31, 2016, 09:05:08 AM »
Could you talk your spouse (I totally presumed it was a male spouse, by the by...) down? Perhaps to an older model if it still had good mileage and leather? And perhaps condition the purchase on selling one of the other cars -- or both the beater and the station wagon, and then offsetting the price of the new car with that money -- perhaps even setting a limit, based on what you realize on those purchases so that you're spending perhaps 2x whatever you gain on that purchase on the new car.

I get the 'my own car' feeling -- I shared with Mr. Marvie for a long time, and his feelings about car cleanliness and the radio and a couple of other things drove me mad. I love that with my car I can jump in, have my stuff there and the seat and mirrors set immediately, and I don't have to fuss with anything at all.

...On the other hand, this is totally a 'want' rather than a need, and both my spouse and I have noticed that sometimes if we put work in the way of wants, we can be persuaded to re-evaluate the strength of that want.

SeaEhm

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Re: Spouse craves fancy pants car. What to do?
« Reply #21 on: July 31, 2016, 09:15:46 AM »
He should tell her that she is foolish, dumb, and that money in the bank is going to make her happier than driving in a car she likes every day of her life.  At the same time, he should start telling her that she is about to get her wedding ring pawned.

Pawn shops are terrible. Craigslist that shit, please.  And to be fair, they could easily compromise with a nice, used bicycle for the spouse to ride.

Good point.

Sibley

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Re: Spouse craves fancy pants car. What to do?
« Reply #22 on: August 01, 2016, 12:00:02 PM »
OP, take a step back, and go visit the stickied thread about how to convert your SO to MMM. Because it sounds like you're still working on that step, and the car is just a symptom.

ChairmanKaga

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Re: Spouse craves fancy pants car. What to do?
« Reply #23 on: August 02, 2016, 10:39:24 AM »
I think there's plenty of research that indicates automobiles are the single most wasteful thing we spend money on. Societally we are conditioned to want them even when there's no rational reason.

"Unlearn, what you have learned." - Yoda

But how do you convince a spouse that their desire for an expensive toy is selfish, irresponsible, and financially detrimental to not just you but also your children? That basically, driving ANY car is a poor financial decision, but wanting a new/newish (still depreciating) car is downright dumb?

Speaking as a former automotive junkie, I had to go through a few stages of realization. What finally did the trick was for me to take an honest assessment of how many minutes out of the day I actually used my car for a legitimate purpose. Then I took the average transaction price for the car I wanted, broke it out into a cost per hour, and realized that spending that kind of money to convey myself from my house to my job was MORONIC. Like giving Donald Drumpf nuclear codes and a list of world leaders who threw shade his way on Twitter dumb (sorry, couldn't resist).

And that was JUST the cost of the car itself, not factoring in insurance, fuel, and maintenance. When you look at what it actually costs to own and operate a car you should be mortified. Take that same money and run calculations of how much it could earn you just at an index rate over the life of the loan. Also look at the rate of depreciation and figure what you could earn just on what you'd lose over the first three years alone.

Again, everyone knows new cars are a terrible, TERRIBLE waste of money, regardless their financial situation. For whatever reason, the majority of consumers ignore that knowledge and buy them anyway. And not just buy new cars, but buy more than they need and not keep it long enough to even make the expense remotely responsible. Do not agree to let your spouse buy a new one. DO NOT. Have this discussion/argument until they start to get it. Every time they say, "BUT I WANT IT!" say no, you can't have it. Speaking as someone who had this affliction, they will realize it long before they accept it, even if they continue to whine about to for months or years.

To address the AWD question - get winter/snow tires. Look for videos comparing an AWD car with all-season tires to a RWD car with snow tires. You'll be amazed. In short, AWD offers some benefits in bad weather, but not many that could not be better addressed with a set of season appropriate tires. Also be aware that with Subarus, if you lose a tire and have to replace it, you then have to replace all four. Any uneven wear, weight, or balance will eventually destroy the mechanical center differential.
https://www.google.com/search?q=awd+cars+replace+all+four+tires&oq=awd+cars+replace+all+four+tires&aqs=chrome..69i57.4274j0j7&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8
« Last Edit: August 02, 2016, 10:43:39 AM by ChairmanKaga »

TreeTired

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Re: Spouse craves fancy pants car. What to do?
« Reply #24 on: August 02, 2016, 10:47:41 AM »
You are late 20s and planning to stay in your current job until 55?  Or will you vest sooner in a pension that you can start receiving at age 55?   Seems like a heroic assumption to stay in your current job that long.

Fishindude

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Re: Spouse craves fancy pants car. What to do?
« Reply #25 on: August 02, 2016, 10:54:17 AM »
There is not a darned thing wrong with driving brand new cars ....... IF you are meeting all other financial obligations including:

Paying all bills without difficulty,
Have an adequate emergency fund
Stashing plenty for retirement
Planning for other needs such as kids college, etc.

I'm guessing this is not the case?
Save up, then pay cash for your next vehicle and decide at that time.   Meanwhile, no point in insuring three vehicles, get rid of one.

SeaEhm

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Re: Spouse craves fancy pants car. What to do?
« Reply #26 on: August 02, 2016, 11:40:17 AM »
There is not a darned thing wrong with driving brand new cars ....... IF you are meeting all other financial obligations including:

Paying all bills without difficulty,
Have an adequate emergency fund
Stashing plenty for retirement
Planning for other needs such as kids college, etc.



You should never ever buy a brand new car no matter how much money you make, save, or love new cars!

It sounds like you love impressing your friends, the Joneses.  Therefore, I have included a nice clown car for you to purchase for your wife as she drives your 1.2 kids around town with all of that wasted space.  Chad Jones will be jealous when his wife is jealous of the his and her paint colors you guys have.





Fishindude

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Re: Spouse craves fancy pants car. What to do?
« Reply #27 on: August 02, 2016, 11:58:19 AM »
You should never ever buy a brand new car no matter how much money you make, save, or love new cars!

This seems a little ridiculous.
What about someone who is financially set up, can pay cash, etc.?
How will you ever get a used car if nobody else buys new cars?

« Last Edit: August 02, 2016, 01:01:12 PM by Fishindude »

ChairmanKaga

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Re: Spouse craves fancy pants car. What to do?
« Reply #28 on: August 02, 2016, 02:18:07 PM »
Well, two scenarios. Dumb bunnies who have no clue about how money works will continue to buy brand new cars that depreciate faster than a snowball in Tucson then sell them at a loss, whereupon more savvy buyers can capitalize on the others' lack of discipline (I'd still never buy ay car that depreciates rapidly - ie European luxury cars or high strung sports cars), OR we all wise up and the manufacturers stop producing overpriced, overcomplex, generally useless machines and get back to the principles of Soichiro Honda, selling clean, well-engineered, well-made, inexpensive vehicles again. You know, in a perfect world.

But the majority of us would be wise to NEVER buy a new car, even if we think we can afford it. In truth, no one can afford to lose 15-20% of the value of anything within the first six months of ownership, regardless of how much we use it, how much it costs, or how long we plan to keep it. It's literally throwing money away.

I realize the OP said 3-YO or newer, which can lead to some good deals. But it's also described as "fancy pants" which implies to me it's loaded with tech, gadgets, and upgrades that are totally unnecessary. I also firmly believe that unless you're a professional racing driver, AWD is totally unnecessary and actually represents some significant problems (compromised fuel economy and that pesky "replace one tire you have to replace them all" issue) without providing enough added benefit.

If you need a smallish to midsize wagon, get a Matrix/Vibe (check the TSBs on these as they have some SEVERE emissions related problems related to the ECM) or a CRV and don't pay more than $8,000. Unless you have more than 3 kids, there's no rational need for any  more car than either of those.
« Last Edit: August 02, 2016, 02:22:17 PM by ChairmanKaga »

mm1970

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Re: Spouse craves fancy pants car. What to do?
« Reply #29 on: August 02, 2016, 06:40:53 PM »
You should never ever buy a brand new car no matter how much money you make, save, or love new cars!

This seems a little ridiculous.
What about someone who is financially set up, can pay cash, etc.?
How will you ever get a used car if nobody else buys new cars?
Yeah, I'm with you on this one.

When our last car was totaled in an accident, we bought new.  Paid cash. What I really wanted was a replacement for my car.  I had a 2001 Prizm, so a 2001 to 2003 Prizm or Corolla would have been fine (this was in 2009), but there were none to be found.  Nor were there any Civics.  So I bought a new Civic.

Not going to stress about it either.  I expect it will go to college with my four year old.

galliver

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Re: Spouse craves fancy pants car. What to do?
« Reply #30 on: August 08, 2016, 03:43:32 PM »
In truth, no one can afford to lose 15-20% of the value of anything within the first six months of ownership, regardless of how much we use it, how much it costs, or how long we plan to keep it. It's literally throwing money away.

I lose 100% of the value of most of the food I buy within one WEEK of purchase! How ridiculous is that!? I don't even have to eat it. If I let a week pass, I have to *pay* someone to take it away.

Metric Mouse

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Re: Spouse craves fancy pants car. What to do?
« Reply #31 on: August 14, 2016, 01:38:17 PM »
In truth, no one can afford to lose 15-20% of the value of anything within the first six months of ownership, regardless of how much we use it, how much it costs, or how long we plan to keep it. It's literally throwing money away.

I lose 100% of the value of most of the food I buy within one WEEK of purchase! How ridiculous is that!? I don't even have to eat it. If I let a week pass, I have to *pay* someone to take it away.

You clearly need to begin buying dried beans in bulk. It's much more financially optimal, as everyone knows, and would mitigate some of the losses you mentioned.

Northern gal

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Re: Spouse craves fancy pants car. What to do?
« Reply #32 on: August 14, 2016, 02:45:42 PM »
Please do not ever even consider putting finance and car in the same sentence. My husband did this and over a year later it is still the one thing we fight about.

studentoflife

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Re: Spouse craves fancy pants car. What to do?
« Reply #33 on: August 14, 2016, 08:47:26 PM »
Crisis averted for now... sort of. Spouse agrees.that the car is far from a need, and our compromise is to keep the old beater wagon around "just in case". Carrying costs are $200/yr.

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OP, take a step back, and go visit the stickied thread about how to convert your SO to MMM. Because it sounds like you're still working on that step, and the car is just a symptom

I have to give my spouse some credit for having a decent baseline - never any debt except mortgage, happily drove the same salvage title Acura for a decade until giving it up in partial trade for our work truck - but there is definitely a tendency to get loose about spending as the savings account balance rises. Just another reason I need to set up a retirement plan, so the money is out of sight and mind. Does anyone have suggestions for how to structure things as owner-employees of an s corp with irregular income?