Our current situation has me at the end of my rope. Any suggestions or feedback would be helpful.
The basics:
Me: 29, Currently freelance writer and editor, moved on from a technology implementation role ~2 weeks ago
Him: 30, Unemployed industrial mechanic, laid off in July 2015
Reported 2015 income: ~$100k (combined)
Minimum yearly expenses: ~$15k for the household
Maintain separate finances and share expenses by dividing out monthly and yearly bills
Child-free
Debt-free
Total net worth: ~$300k (combined, includes our home which we own outright)
My husband was laid off from an industrial mechanic job that he hated in July. Although he hated the work, he made ~$80k a year and had awesome benefits. He immediately filed for and began collecting unemployment. Although I (and a few family members and friends) sent him leads for jobs, he didn't appear interested in actively pursuing any of them. He claimed that he applied to 2 jobs a week, but there's no evidence to support that. In September he began working under the table for a family business. He brought home about $400/a week which combined with his unemployment was a decent income.
Unfortunately, the work with the family business is seasonal, and he hasn't worked for them since December. It's still TBD when business will pick back up, likely in April. His unemployment is running out or has already expired. (We have separate accounts, and I don't meddle in his finances.) Working for the family business is not a living wage job and does not include any benefits. He has about $80k of personal assets which is good. The problem is that he is still not actively seeking another job. I've helped him with leads and his resume, but he doesn't seem to spend much time looking for work. When I mention going into business for ourselves, he isn't interested in that option either. His father keeps telling him to get a job, any job, or go back to school.
I am very much against him going back to school. Why? Because he has already spent over 6 years and ten of thousands of dollars pursuing an undergraduate degree that he didn't finish. He already has enough credits for a bachelors but isn't eligible for one because they don't fit neatly into a specific major. His credits are now expiring as he's been out of school for years, and his planned degree is mostly worthless without a doctorate. It seems to be assumed that I would support us if he were to pursue a degree, and I've made it very clear that I did not sign up for that. He doesn't really want to go back to school and would have no better idea of what he wants to do the second time around. The problem is he doesn't particularly want to do anything. When I ask him what his plan is, he has no answer.
Considering he has substantial savings and we maintain separate accounts, how does this impact me? I recently resigned from a technology implementation job that I hated (the company and my most recent project, specifically, not necessarily the work). Although I had actively been looking for another job for six months, the long hours (60+/week) and frequent travel (50%+) hampered my ability to apply and interview for other positions. I knew I had to make a change, and the only way to make that happen was by leaving my previous job. I'm currently doing freelance writing and editing, which are my side gigs. I would really like to seriously pursue self-employment or non-profit work that enjoy (which pays terribly), but our current situation is not conducive to that. Because of my husband's employment situation, I feel obligated to aggressively pursue full-time corporate jobs paying $75k+ that I am unlikely to find fulfilling. In the past week and a half, I've had 7 interviews even though I would have preferred to take some time off.
I'm particularly concerned about my husband's long-term unemployment because it's a situation we've experienced before. When we were first married, he didn't work for about 2 years. The first time around, he spent down his savings and then we were forced to live on the $35k/year I was making at the time. I was about to file for divorce when his father got him an interview for the industrial mechanic job. He got the job, and we relocated. Now he's been permanently laid-off (RIF) from that job, and we're back to square one.
Does anyone have any advice? Yes, he is clinically depressed and also has generalized anxiety disorder. (Those both apply to me as well.) Yes, he knows it. No, he won't do anything about it. I've tried alternately talking about it and not talking about it, and neither seems to make any difference. He is not interested in counseling as he really does not want to discuss the situation with anyone.