Author Topic: So I really want to get a diamond engagement ring...  (Read 10418 times)

partgypsy

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Re: So I really want to get a diamond engagement ring...
« Reply #50 on: January 11, 2017, 11:22:46 AM »
....and my girl just wants a cheap-o ring. What a predicament to be in haha!

My real issue is that I'm afraid she simply says she'll be happy with it, but will later on down the road be resentful when everyone asks what carat size, and other diamond related questions. I'm thinking about James Allen diamond rings, a very nice .7 carat stone in a simple setting can be quite a bargain compared to brick and mortar stores. I've checked out Blue Nile, can't even view three quarters of their inventory...

So, my real question here is, is there any practical reason to get a diamond engagement ring beside traditional reasons? I've researched hardness and apparently all diamond alternatives are inferior, moisanite being the best.

In my research I've also come across a few diamond blogs (Your Diamond Teacher and Diamond Pro) who seemed to have some pretty helpful posts, I can't help but think it's simply a racket to get readers to pay up for a diamond. No matter what a steal the deal is, they get their cut...

When she says cheap-o ring, what does she mean? Does she mean a band, an inexpensive gemstone ring, a costume jewelry ring? I think you need to talk with her and say that you want to get her something she loves and will wear, and to get a little more guidance on it. Because a "cheap-o ring" is really not enough to go on. And yeah within reason get her what she likes. Also don't listen to those who say even if you gf wants a diamond ring, don't get her one. It's really between you and her. As far as value, diamonds and most jewelry don't hold their value (the resale is if you are lucky 25-50% of what you spent on it). The value in getting a precious stone/expensive ring is in making the person happy who is wearing it. It's up to you to assign what value you hold to that.   

As far as benefits of diamonds they are the hardest natural substance (Mohs 10) which is why you can see antique diamonds still in good shape, that just need a polish to continue on. The next hardest is corundum (sapphires and rubies) which is why those are also very popular to wear as far as gemstones on an every day basis.
« Last Edit: January 11, 2017, 11:26:30 AM by partgypsy »

intirb

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Re: So I really want to get a diamond engagement ring...
« Reply #51 on: January 11, 2017, 03:58:11 PM »
My real issue is that I'm afraid she simply says she'll be happy with it, but will later on down the road be resentful when everyone asks what carat size, and other diamond related questions.

I keep going back to this.  Why do you want to marry someone who you don't trust to honestly communicate her feelings with you?  Why do you want to marry someone who you think will resent you for respecting her wishes?  Is this a pattern in your relationship, or is there something particular about getting engaged that is making you think differently than usual?  If it's the latter, have you discussed with your partner about how to balance societal expectations with personal wishes during these big life events?

katscratch

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Re: So I really want to get a diamond engagement ring...
« Reply #52 on: January 11, 2017, 04:25:18 PM »
As for 'everyone' that would ask totally rude shit like carat size etc....

I work in a very mainstream spendypants place, with a lot of women in their 20s and 30s, at least 25 of whom have gotten married in the last five years.  NOT ONCE have I heard anyone ask about carat size.  Lots of "OOOOH congratulations!  I *LOVE* your ring!" and then questions about the (spendyplan) wedding, but not much else.

MrsPete

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Re: So I really want to get a diamond engagement ring...
« Reply #53 on: January 11, 2017, 07:16:33 PM »
My real issue is that I'm afraid she simply says she'll be happy with it, but will later on down the road be resentful when everyone asks what carat size, and other diamond related questions. I'm thinking about James Allen diamond rings, a very nice .7 carat stone in a simple setting can be quite a bargain compared to brick and mortar stores. I've checked out Blue Nile, can't even view three quarters of their inventory...
Who would ask such rude questions?  Clearly we can all tell a big diamond vs. a little diamond, but who'd be crude enough to point it out? 

Ask her WHY she wants the ring she wants.  Is it because she wants a house more?  Because she thinks it'd strain your finances?  Because she really doesn't appreciate jewelry and doesn't want you to be hurt when it sits in the drawer?  Once you know WHY, you can come to an agreement that will satisfy you both. 


Shieldmaiden

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Re: So I really want to get a diamond engagement ring...
« Reply #54 on: January 11, 2017, 07:19:21 PM »
I've heard good things about white sapphires- they're lab-grown, so relatively inexpensive but they are durable (as previously mentioned) and can pass for a diamond.

Of course, it depends on what your fiancee wants. Does she not want a ring because of the cost or because she doesn't like the look of diamond?

partgypsy

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Re: So I really want to get a diamond engagement ring...
« Reply #55 on: January 12, 2017, 10:50:03 AM »
My real issue is that I'm afraid she simply says she'll be happy with it, but will later on down the road be resentful when everyone asks what carat size, and other diamond related questions. I'm thinking about James Allen diamond rings, a very nice .7 carat stone in a simple setting can be quite a bargain compared to brick and mortar stores. I've checked out Blue Nile, can't even view three quarters of their inventory...
Who would ask such rude questions?  Clearly we can all tell a big diamond vs. a little diamond, but who'd be crude enough to point it out? 

Ask her WHY she wants the ring she wants.  Is it because she wants a house more?  Because she thinks it'd strain your finances?  Because she really doesn't appreciate jewelry and doesn't want you to be hurt when it sits in the drawer?  Once you know WHY, you can come to an agreement that will satisfy you both.

AGREE with the above. You need to figure out why she said that, and then you can go from there.

Milkshake

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Re: So I really want to get a diamond engagement ring...
« Reply #56 on: January 12, 2017, 01:02:19 PM »
True practical reason to get one:

I once had a college professor who was working in a lab when a girl broke her finger on a machine. This girl had a tungsten carbide ring (before they put the pre-scored lines in) and her finger was swelling fast and turning purple. My professor took off her diamond ring, scored the outside of her tungsten carbide ring, put her finger in a vice and snapped the ring. The girl kept her finger.

Not very likely to happen to you, but they DO have a rare practical purpose now and again.

RetiredAt63

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Re: So I really want to get a diamond engagement ring...
« Reply #57 on: January 12, 2017, 03:50:03 PM »
So johnez posted on January 6, and it's now the 12th.  Story ending?  Proposal? Ring?  Let us know?

JAYSLOL

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Re: So I really want to get a diamond engagement ring...
« Reply #58 on: January 12, 2017, 05:36:49 PM »
So johnez posted on January 6, and it's now the 12th.  Story ending?  Proposal? Ring?  Let us know?

+1

I'm also wondering why no response from the OP

iris lily

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Re: So I really want to get a diamond engagement ring...
« Reply #59 on: January 12, 2017, 05:45:27 PM »
True practical reason to get one:

I once had a college professor who was working in a lab when a girl broke her finger on a machine. This girl had a tungsten carbide ring (before they put the pre-scored lines in) and her finger was swelling fast and turning purple. My professor took off her diamond ring, scored the outside of her tungsten carbide ring, put her finger in a vice and snapped the ring. The girl kept her finger.

Not very likely to happen to you, but they DO have a rare practical purpose now and again.
so cool!

Metric Mouse

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Re: So I really want to get a diamond engagement ring...
« Reply #60 on: January 13, 2017, 10:22:39 PM »
True practical reason to get one:

I once had a college professor who was working in a lab when a girl broke her finger on a machine. This girl had a tungsten carbide ring (before they put the pre-scored lines in) and her finger was swelling fast and turning purple. My professor took off her diamond ring, scored the outside of her tungsten carbide ring, put her finger in a vice and snapped the ring. The girl kept her finger.

Not very likely to happen to you, but they DO have a rare practical purpose now and again.

That is pretty badass!