Should we move to pay off debt?

[anniea]

Our family is at a crossroads...we've been working towards paying off debt and trying to work on a debt snowball but we've come to several realizations and we aren't sure what decision to make. While we know we ultimately have to decide what's best for our family, I'd like to get some outsiders views of our situation.

We live a days drive from any family. We moved to the area to get away from some drama and because we loved the home and property. This was 4 1/2 years ago. We opened a business in our new town almost 2 years ago and it's doing well for a new business.

Unfortunately, we have debt from being here... $167,000 total consumer debt (credit cards, a car, a 2nd mortgage and the business). We also owe $150,000 on our home. We live on a very tight budget and have taken extremes to be able to pay extra on the debt (got rid of our fridge to cut down on electric bills, sold our 2nd car, etc). The business isn't making us much money yet because of what we've had to put into it to get it going. I work from home but my income is unstable, although it's paying the bare minimum bills for now. We pick up odd jobs whenever possible but we also have 3 special needs children that I have to be home with full time. I work early in the morning and late at night while my husband tends the business all day.

We love the property we live on (although the house is too big for us) and we enjoy having a business. We do not like depending on my income and our family is suffering from no support system or family nearby. (We've tried to make friends but we live very rurally.) We only had one child when we moved and no idea we'd have more...now we have 3.

We are meeting with a realtor tomorrow and having a business consultant meet with us this afternoon but we believe our home to be worth around $300,000 and the business to be at least $150,000 since we own the building it's in as well. If we sold everything and moved we would be able to pay off ALL debt plus have a nice amount of money in the bank.

We are working on the numbers from last year in our businesses profit/loss but it may be possible to squeak an income out of it and if we didn't have debt it would be fine, however it's not enough right now to pay extra on debt and without having to rely heavily on my irregular income. If we move closer to family we would live near a larger town that would be very easy to get a decent paying job in and without debt, we could easily survive on a small income plus be able to save and possibly pay cash for our next home. We can avoid rent by living in our RV (which we've done before so we know we can do it again) and only paying a minimal lot rent.

Maybe this is clear to someone else! We moved here with no intention of ever moving away and so we've renovated the home to our standards. We aren't so attached to the home though as we are to the land, it's literally like a park with an orchard and acres of huge trees. If we waited a while we would probably find a nice property to purchase near family...it wouldn't be the same topography but could be nice in its own way. It would also be nice to be closer to family and have a support system again. My husband and I haven't had a date night in years and we are always stressed and busy with work.

I wish things were black and white and we weren't so attached to this home. We would move in a heartbeat if we weren't, we hate the debt and stress here. What are your thoughts?

[Sibley]

You left to get away from drama - has that resolved? How bad is this drama? Is it detrimental to your children? Can you move back, find somewhere to live and get job(s) timely?

Just so you're aware, currently you're choosing between land and your children. So, are your children more important than some land?

[anniea]

You left to get away from drama - has that resolved? How bad is this drama? Is it detrimental to your children? Can you move back, find somewhere to live and get job(s) timely?

Just so you're aware, currently you're choosing between land and your children. So, are your children more important than some land?

Yes, things that happened years ago have settled down. Or perhaps we've just matured so we no longer care and can deal with it now. To remove ourselves from it was the best decision for our family and son at the time.

To clarify... we are not choosing between land and our children. Our land is part of our lifestyle and or children have loved growing up where we have been. This place we have now is perfect for a calm, quiet life that our children thrive in. Change is very difficult for special needs children and that's something we are taking into consideration with this decision. It's also not to say that we wouldn't be able to eventually gain a support group where we are now. We love our children more than anything and just want the best for them. We do want them to have more opportunities opened to them which they may have if we move so it's one of our considerations.

[Sibley]

Part of what's best for children is happy, stable parents. Right now, you're not happy. If you don't relieve the financial & emotional stress, your marriage could be impacted. Yes, a move would be disruptive, but the kids would adjust. It would likely be a more involved process than non-special needs kids (not sure what the term is!), but they would be ok in the end.

If you can find jobs that will support the family in the new location, and sell the house & business for sufficient sums to pay off the debt, it makes a lot of sense to do this.

However, also consider that annoyances you can ignore from a distance can be a much bigger issue when you're closer. I don't know the history so can't judge, but in my extended family the issues don't get resolved, they just move underground and drive passive aggressive crap.

[anniea]

Part of what's best for children is happy, stable parents. Right now, you're not happy. If you don't relieve the financial & emotional stress, your marriage could be impacted. Yes, a move would be disruptive, but the kids would adjust. It would likely be a more involved process than non-special needs kids (not sure what the term is!), but they would be ok in the end.

If you can find jobs that will support the family in the new location, and sell the house & business for sufficient sums to pay off the debt, it makes a lot of sense to do this.

However, also consider that annoyances you can ignore from a distance can be a much bigger issue when you're closer. I don't know the history so can't judge, but in my extended family the issues don't get resolved, they just move underground and drive passive aggressive crap.

Yes, that makes sense. We really want to be debt free! We love to travel and not having any money or time obviously makes this impossible.
I definitely have thought of the annoyances that would occur. I enjoy my family but I also like my space! I think we would have to just learn to be clear on some boundaries before the move. Thankfully the land we would consider moving to would still be at least 45 minutes from family so we wouldn't be next door neighbors :)

[Rocketman]

What about other solutions- if you sold the business and business property could your husband find another local job that pays better than your business?

How long will it take to sell the business property?

[anniea]

What about other solutions- if you sold the business and business property could your husband find another local job that pays better than your business?

How long will it take to sell the business property?

We should find out more this afternoon on the business...we aren't sure how long that will take. The nearest job that would pay something more than minimum wage would be an hour commute every morning and evening and still probably wouldn't pay much more than we are bringing in right now.