Awesome feedback everyone! I have to say, this is a great forum!
Magnuminator, I think you nailed it on my feelings about Seattle. We used to camp because it was a nice weekend and we felt like it, now it's no go. One time, after driving around to 4 different campgrounds for hours, we gave up and drove home. Talk about a waste of gas! When the money moves in, my days of slumming it are numbered. I actually heard a guy on the radio say he's thinking about moving, because the kids that go to school with his kids are so spoiled (iphones, german cars for 16th birthday), that it's getting really hard to raise frugal, hardworking kids with good values without making them feel totally ostracized. It used to be when I was a kid, when you went home, the gossip and stress stayed outside. Now with kids being so "connected", the stress of not fitting in follows them into their bedrooms.
Surfhb, we are quickly catching Orange County. Have you been to Seattle? The redfin post you sent to me is in an area where I would have to send my kids to private school, my husband would have to give up biking, and dodging bullets could be a new pastime. Seattle (not burbs) is interesting in that you can be in a totally beautiful neighborhood where people pay top dollar and 4 blocks over things turn bad and you wouldn't want to live there. There is a very good reason that house can be found at that price. Don't fool yourself. I'm not quite that big of an idiot. Even in my neighborhood, break-ins have gotten so bad that I started leaving the lights on when I took the kids to school, so it looks like I'm home. Many of the crooks operate at 9 am or even dinner time. One of my neighbors left their house pitch black and I had to call the police because I could see that a flashlight was going over all of their windows in the alley. Also, glad you think our transit situation is great. Again, on paper (and compared to SoCal) it looks good. Going to other better developed cities, we look dumb. Buses sit in traffic too and they keep cutting routes over and over.
For those concerned about my neighborhood, it is a recently discovered and built up area. When I was in my 20's it was only full of Norwegians, old people, and fishermen. It also is so far from the major freeway that I couldn't understand why anyone would want to live there. By the time I bought a house in 2003, the market was starting to go gangbusters and this was one of the more affordable places to buy. My house took 3 years to sell because it had the worst floor plan (we had to move the stairs, among other walls), and emerald green carpet soaked in dog urine. I almost thought we were going to have to pull up the subfloor. Prior to buying here, I lived across the water in Bremerton and had a 4 hour a day commute that required walking (even in the sideways rain), busing and ferrying. My mortgage was only $750, but I had no time left in my life. When I moved here, I was willing to buy any old crapbox as long as it was in an area with sidewalks that was within a short commute to work. My decision paid off, as I now have a crapload of equity and the question is now what? I didn't buy here to be fancy, but my house has become fancy (only took a bunch of money and ten years of hard work) and my neighborhood even fancier.
The Seattle school district has an awful school budget. Parents are given a very long list of school supplies (for each child). My particular school has an ESL program and quite a bit of free lunch, so if I don't buy my stuff, I'm hurting the teachers even worse. I'm not poor enough for that. School supplies range from 24 pencils (per kid), 12 glue sticks, 2 boxes of kleenex, a box of ziploc baggies, etc. I watch the sales like a hawk and do my best, but it has to be done. We reuse backpacks, pencil bags, lunchboxes (if they haven't worn out). My kids have never purchased a school lunch, as I make it for them each day. We also pay over $100 per year, per kid for field trips. And don't get me started on the PTA fundraising. But it's the PTA that keeps our school so special. It's a public school, but is considered arts based with a full time dance and music program. My kids Love going to school!
A friend of mine moved to Wenatchee. I now work for her online. It has been a great move for her family, but she has her own online business. They are currently out of town to escape the horrible smoke from the raging forest fires. She also said her utilities dropped in half or better when she moved out of Seattle. However, Wenatchee is a little too remote for my hubs (not to mention that it would also be a $30K drop in income and I wouldn't be where I want to be). Getting him to move to a town without a major sports franchise will be the toughest thing I do. He grew up in Chicago and lives in the city of Seattle. He's a city boy.
Interestingly, my husband is naturally more frugal than I am, but talk about stuck in your ways! It runs in his family. Even his dad is freaked out that we might sell our house. Doesn't matter that we could move closer to them (they are a very close family and talk on the phone probably 5 days per week) or that we could make a bunch of money on our house. The only thing that matters to him is that it would be change. Funny thing is, it wouldn't change his life, but it still freaks him out. My father in law has worked for the same company for 45 years, his wife worked there for 25, and my husband has worked there for 23, since the day after he turned 16. The only future thinking my husband wants to do is "where/when is my next vacation?". Change gives him the heebie jeebies. Right now I'm desperately wanting a long term goal that we can work towards in steps, but my husband can barely handle the fact that he may have to change employers in a year. You get long term thinking into the mix and now he can't sleep at night and is beginning to resent me for pushing him to think bigger, so I will pull back. As my friend and real estate agent says - a family will travel at the speed that the person of the most resistance can handle. For us, that will be true.
Saw the $399 house today. Turns out that it needs more than $200 worth of work. Can you say 1 bathroom, sloping floors, wood rot and a leaky basement? I knew you could! That house will sell for more than asking, but it won't work for us. Four houses down there is a newer big house that sold for over $900K in 2011. People around here will pay big dollars for turnkey and not many of the houses are (if they are, they aren't for sale). One of the things I consider when buying a home is the potential for increased value. I could buy a 2 bedroom house on a shitty street with a commute that varies from 45 minutes to 1.5 hours (depends on the day), but if I decide to move a few years down the line, no one will buy it or rent it. To me that is a waste of money. My old boss has a house out in Lake Stevens that is still underwater. It's a beautiful house in a beautiful neighborhood, but a 2 hour commute (only during traffic - it's much faster if you drive it at 4:30am or 9pm) is just too much for most people and with gas staying over $4/gal, anyone who has a buck is buying closer in so that they can see their kids before bedtime. Many employers are actually pulling in their telecommuters and that happened to him. He had to change jobs because of the house, but he still has a crap commute.
If I knew I wanted to stay, you bet your pants I would buy that a small crap house in a neighborhood I could tolerate to save money, but since I feel like I have one foot out the door, I feel like I need to plan this out very carefully. And anywhere I would move, I would buy a house that needs some sprucing up. You never know when you might need to move again.
Finally, our eating out budget is mostly made up by my fancy coffee habit, not restaurants. My neighborhood coffee shop is an anomaly. I've met most of my neighbors there, Most of the friends I have now are from there, I also got my last job from a gal that I met there and ran into her when she was in town (she moved to Wenatchee) and she offered me the job there. I have sold medicare policies to people in there and also taken up a few side gigs from people there (painting inside homes and this summer I'm painting the exterior of a house - she is a 70yr old friend that I met there and she's getting one hell of a deal from me!). I've even attended parties there, a wedding there, and a wake there. I have, however, cut back and only go there a few times per week now (my friend and I have a standing date there with our kids on Thursdays). I would say that that place has been my fancy coffee habit, my counselling, and my headhunter all at the same time. Eating out, however, I could care less about, even though I live in the hottest restaurant neighborhood of Seattle. Too fancy for my taste. I take my $5 bottle of wine at home, instead (over a week, of course).
Now I need to get off of the internet and get to work!