Also, it is what it is. They underpay her (according to market averages, I would guess?) and they are defensive and blustery about it. Well, that's my situation too. It makes me grouchy when I think about it. But -- not to minimize the need to keep a look-out for better positions -- there are always reasons to be grouchy. It depends on your focus. It sounds as if you're buying into your wife's sense of victimization. She needs to find a good job and be an advocate for herself. But she also needs to realize that focus makes a big difference. It is not cheating to be happy despite being underpaid and having less-than-optimum work conditions.