Author Topic: Should I take this new job? Please help...  (Read 3084 times)

Illinick

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Should I take this new job? Please help...
« on: December 17, 2017, 08:05:28 AM »
Here's my situation as succinctly as possible. I've outgrown my current company and position with no room for growth, etc. My work environment can also be described as sometimes tense, sometimes toxic and not often do I feel appreciated, part of the team, etc. It's not been great for a while. Flipside I have an awesome work life balance and my entire day is within 15 minutes. I go through one stoplight a day, I'm at work in 15 minutes and I have freedom to do and go as I please (meeting at my son's school, need to run to hardware store, etc I can just take off no problems). I'm compensated below market value but I do not contribute anything to my family's health insurance coverage and my daily costs are extremely low. I also get to see my 3 year old as much as I want. But I feel like I definitely need a new job and I'm uneasy that I could be let go any day. I just don't have a comfortable positive work environment or relationship with my boss or President of company.

I was offered a position with a new company and from a career standpoint it's an excellent opportunity. I took home 65k last year, this new job is offering 75k (below my market value and below my counter offer to them of 82,500). BUT my added costs per year would be around 10k + (not including indirect costs such as car maintenance, my time, etc.) - $2,500 in gas (estimated), $1,000 To park, $6,000 in health insurance contributions, $1,500 for phone so in all my salary would be a wash. I'd be fine with a wash but here's the real kicker. I'd be adding over 2 hours a day to my work day in commute time. It's about 45 minutes to an hour each way, then I have to park in a satellite lot and take a 20 minute shuttle ride. That also means my days of going to meeting or plays or therapy sessions with my son are out because I don't have direct access to my car nor are those things a feasible distance away.

The two best parts of my day currently are seeing my son and working out  (it's my "cup of coffee" so to speak each day). Both of those would suffer greatly and be a complete upheaval.

So, stay in my current job where I enjoy an awesome work-life balance but a bad "work environment" or take the new job and sacrifice 2 + hours a day resulting in less time with my son. If the new job was 15 iminutes away itd be a no brai er, but its not. Should ride it out and stay at my job and hope to find something closer?

Any help is appreciated.

Hirondelle

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Re: Should I take this new job? Please help...
« Reply #1 on: December 17, 2017, 08:19:42 AM »
Why do you think it's excellent from a career standpoint? Does the new company have a lot of opportunities for growth?

From the information you've written down it doesn't seem any better than what you currently have. Pay raise will disappear after all the extra costs. Your current work environment isn't optimal, but do you feel like the new place will be a lot better to make it worth a reduced pay (after all the extra costs), reduced flexibility and a massive commute?

I don't know how jobs in your area are, but I'd rather try to find a closer new job. I feel like in this one the cons are outperforming the pros and for what you consider the worst part of your job (work environment) you don't even have a guarantee that it's gonna be much better. Personally I'd say no. But I'm a big hater of commuting and work-life balance.

MoolahLula

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Re: Should I take this new job? Please help...
« Reply #2 on: December 17, 2017, 09:47:19 AM »
Ooh that commute is way too long, especially compared to how much freedom to come and go you currently have.  I would encourage you to keep looking if you must leave the current job.

Illinick

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Re: Should I take this new job? Please help...
« Reply #3 on: December 17, 2017, 10:28:14 AM »
Why do you think it's excellent from a career standpoint? Does the new company have a lot of opportunities for growth?

From the information you've written down it doesn't seem any better than what you currently have. Pay raise will disappear after all the extra costs. Your current work environment isn't optimal, but do you feel like the new place will be a lot better to make it worth a reduced pay (after all the extra costs), reduced flexibility and a massive commute?

I don't know how jobs in your area are, but I'd rather try to find a closer new job. I feel like in this one the cons are outperforming the pros and for what you consider the worst part of your job (work environment) you don't even have a guarantee that it's gonna be much better. Personally I'd say no. But I'm a big hater of commuting and work-life balance.

I'd be managing a team and there would be opportunity for growth. Right now I'm a team of one-all marketing, advertising, design, pr, social ,etc. I enjoy it but not when I'm seen as a red headed step child (no offense to red heads). New job is with a with a well respected organization ( not that I care). But it's an excellent career opportunity. I have 12 years experience so at this point in my career most if not all of my job opportunities would be a distance away. I'm at a small family company now. I'd prefer the same thing but those are rare.

My current situation is so unstable that I might literally be fired tomorrow so my anxiety is saying shit if I get fired in 3 weeks I passed up an excellent opportunity. The job I was offered is probably one of the most sought after positions in the city,but again if it doesn't fit me that doesn't mean anythi g really to me personally.

ysette9

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Re: Should I take this new job? Please help...
« Reply #4 on: December 17, 2017, 10:31:18 AM »
I vote for option c: look for a better job. The offer you have in hand is nice because it shows you are employable. Take that knowledge and go out there with confidence that you will find something else. It doesnít matter that this position is supposed to be desirable if it isnít actually good for you.

Dictionary Time

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Re: Should I take this new job? Please help...
« Reply #5 on: December 17, 2017, 11:16:21 AM »
Would it be feasible to move closer to the new job?  Then you could have the best of both worlds.  You don't have to move tomorrow, you could suck it up and commute for a short period, knowing that it wasn't unlimited.

Kwill

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Re: Should I take this new job? Please help...
« Reply #6 on: December 17, 2017, 11:31:24 AM »
If you feel like you could go either way, maybe you could talk to your current boss about the fact that you got this nice offer and aren't sure what to do. You might get a sense then if your current job is actually in imminent danger or if it's just your anxiety talking. There's also a chance you having the other offer may make you seem more valuable.

lbmustache

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Re: Should I take this new job? Please help...
« Reply #7 on: December 17, 2017, 11:34:00 AM »
I vote for option c: look for a better job. The offer you have in hand is nice because it shows you are employable. Take that knowledge and go out there with confidence that you will find something else. It doesnít matter that this position is supposed to be desirable if it isnít actually good for you.

Absolutely this.

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I'd be adding over 2 hours a day to my work day in commute time. It's about 45 minutes to an hour each way,

This, to me, is the deal breaker. You're losing a substantial amount of time for virtually no gain in salary when all is said and done. I am not anti-commute, as many need to commute to get to work, but 1 hour is INSANE. You will hate yourself, hate your life, and hate your commute.

I'd either renegotiate the terms - maybe you can work from home one day a week since they won't pay you more, or I'd wait at your current job till something better comes along.

Illinick

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Re: Should I take this new job? Please help...
« Reply #8 on: December 17, 2017, 11:39:49 AM »
I vote for option c: look for a better job. The offer you have in hand is nice because it shows you are employable. Take that knowledge and go out there with confidence that you will find something else. It doesnít matter that this position is supposed to be desirable if it isnít actually good for you.

I have been actively searching which is how I found this position. I'm confident in myself but in my field there's not a lot out there. If my current situation was an enjoyable or tolerable work environment I would be content as (and maybe this is concurrent to the forums purpose) but I'm not a career driven person. I'd rather have an excellent work life balance then a status symbol job. But I agree with you. Thanks

Illinick

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Re: Should I take this new job? Please help...
« Reply #9 on: December 17, 2017, 11:41:56 AM »
Would it be feasible to move closer to the new job?  Then you could have the best of both worlds.  You don't have to move tomorrow, you could suck it up and commute for a short period, knowing that it wasn't unlimited.

Moving closer is not feasible. One I'm not living in the city and two I want to be close to my son (who has special needs) as I am actively involved with his life as a coparent.

Illinick

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Re: Should I take this new job? Please help...
« Reply #10 on: December 17, 2017, 11:46:44 AM »
If you feel like you could go either way, maybe you could talk to your current boss about the fact that you got this nice offer and aren't sure what to do. You might get a sense then if your current job is actually in imminent danger or if it's just your anxiety talking. There's also a chance you having the other offer may make you seem more valuable.

I was actually going to say I could try having a heart to heart with my boss about my situation but when I've tried that in the past it has not ended well. He basically doesn't listen, doesn't hear me and talks shit. No joke. He told me in my annual review last year I wasn't worth my pay, not management material ,etc. I thought I was getting fired but I didn't. It's just an old school family company who see creative positions as necessary evils and not congruent to their company's business structure or management team. Example: I've built the entire creative, marketing, branding , etc. For the company from the ground up for 12 years. I went into a big meeting about 5 years ago and see that I was demoted in title from Marketing Director to Marketing Manger and our Accountant was the new Sales and Marketing Director. No shit.

Illinick

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Re: Should I take this new job? Please help...
« Reply #11 on: December 17, 2017, 11:50:35 AM »
I vote for option c: look for a better job. The offer you have in hand is nice because it shows you are employable. Take that knowledge and go out there with confidence that you will find something else. It doesnít matter that this position is supposed to be desirable if it isnít actually good for you.

Absolutely this.

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I'd be adding over 2 hours a day to my work day in commute time. It's about 45 minutes to an hour each way,

This, to me, is the deal breaker. You're losing a substantial amount of time for virtually no gain in salary when all is said and done. I am not anti-commute, as many need to commute to get to work, but 1 hour is INSANE. You will hate yourself, hate your life, and hate your commute.

I'd either renegotiate the terms - maybe you can work from home one day a week since they won't pay you more, or I'd wait at your current job till something better comes along.

This has been my gut too. That I care far too much about my personal life balance to sacrifice two hours a day. That's two less hours I have with my son or working out or my time. Plus no matter what I do I would not have direct access to my car without a 20 minute shuttle ride.

What's clouding it is this anxiety that I NEED to change my job for all of the reasons I've posted here and this is a good opportunity that aligns with my interest. I've been applying for jobs I have no interest in just to get out of here but this job would actually suit me greatly...except for the 1 hour each way thing of course.

MJseast

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Re: Should I take this new job? Please help...
« Reply #12 on: December 17, 2017, 03:50:28 PM »
This is a tough one and definitely not an easy answer. The more you've posted, the more I've shifted my opinion to you taking the new job. While two hours is brutal, it sounds like your current job really isn't stable and could be gone altogether (and frankly, sounds miserable) . And if you're in an area where you don't have many choices, you may really be screwing yourself by staying.

If I were you, I'd probably take the new job, but find any way possible to cut down on the commute time and costs - can you go in on "off" hours, maybe super early or late to avoid traffic? Maybe go via public transportation or carpool so can do other things while commuting to save time when you're home? Work from home 1-2 days/week? Do it for a year and reassess the situation - maybe after the experience of the well-known company you will have other job options open to you or can freelance? Or maybe you'll get promoted to a position that can work from home on occasion.

As an aside, I've found that sometimes when I feel like my time is really limited, I actually make better use of it and get more accomplished. Maybe this will be the case for you and the time you do spend with your son will be of more quality?

In any case, I wish you the best of luck!

Illinick

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Re: Should I take this new job? Please help...
« Reply #13 on: December 17, 2017, 05:15:37 PM »
This is a tough one and definitely not an easy answer. The more you've posted, the more I've shifted my opinion to you taking the new job. While two hours is brutal, it sounds like your current job really isn't stable and could be gone altogether (and frankly, sounds miserable) . And if you're in an area where you don't have many choices, you may really be screwing yourself by staying.

If I were you, I'd probably take the new job, but find any way possible to cut down on the commute time and costs - can you go in on "off" hours, maybe super early or late to avoid traffic? Maybe go via public transportation or carpool so can do other things while commuting to save time when you're home? Work from home 1-2 days/week? Do it for a year and reassess the situation - maybe after the experience of the well-known company you will have other job options open to you or can freelance? Or maybe you'll get promoted to a position that can work from home on occasion.

As an aside, I've found that sometimes when I feel like my time is really limited, I actually make better use of it and get more accomplished. Maybe this will be the case for you and the time you do spend with your son will be of more quality?

In any case, I wish you the best of luck!

Thanks. It's so tough cause right now my life is #1 and my job is #2. What I mean is I cater my job around my life (that sounds bad). This new job will flip that. I'd have to cater my life around my new job. So i'm spoiled now and stuggling with is the grass greener...okay is the grass not as burnt as it is on this side. Haha.

BussoV6

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Re: Should I take this new job? Please help...
« Reply #14 on: December 18, 2017, 07:36:45 AM »
Tough choice.

I wouldn't sacrifice all the extra time/costs unless there was a big payoff in the near future. But, I'd keep looking.

Illinick

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Re: Should I take this new job? Please help...
« Reply #15 on: December 18, 2017, 10:22:24 AM »
Tough choice.

I wouldn't sacrifice all the extra time/costs unless there was a big payoff in the near future. But, I'd keep looking.

Thanks I just don't think I can sacrifice 2 + hours a day for about the same pay. That would be at the sacrifice of seeing my son or working out, etc. I'd be solving a problem with a problem you could say. Thanks for the input. I keep psyching myself out of saying "no" because I'm afraid of passing up an  opportunity but as I said I value "my time" more than my career etc.

Case

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Re: Should I take this new job? Please help...
« Reply #16 on: December 18, 2017, 11:27:02 AM »
Here's my situation as succinctly as possible. I've outgrown my current company and position with no room for growth, etc. My work environment can also be described as sometimes tense, sometimes toxic and not often do I feel appreciated, part of the team, etc. It's not been great for a while. Flipside I have an awesome work life balance and my entire day is within 15 minutes. I go through one stoplight a day, I'm at work in 15 minutes and I have freedom to do and go as I please (meeting at my son's school, need to run to hardware store, etc I can just take off no problems). I'm compensated below market value but I do not contribute anything to my family's health insurance coverage and my daily costs are extremely low. I also get to see my 3 year old as much as I want. But I feel like I definitely need a new job and I'm uneasy that I could be let go any day. I just don't have a comfortable positive work environment or relationship with my boss or President of company.

I was offered a position with a new company and from a career standpoint it's an excellent opportunity. I took home 65k last year, this new job is offering 75k (below my market value and below my counter offer to them of 82,500). BUT my added costs per year would be around 10k + (not including indirect costs such as car maintenance, my time, etc.) - $2,500 in gas (estimated), $1,000 To park, $6,000 in health insurance contributions, $1,500 for phone so in all my salary would be a wash. I'd be fine with a wash but here's the real kicker. I'd be adding over 2 hours a day to my work day in commute time. It's about 45 minutes to an hour each way, then I have to park in a satellite lot and take a 20 minute shuttle ride. That also means my days of going to meeting or plays or therapy sessions with my son are out because I don't have direct access to my car nor are those things a feasible distance away.

The two best parts of my day currently are seeing my son and working out  (it's my "cup of coffee" so to speak each day). Both of those would suffer greatly and be a complete upheaval.

So, stay in my current job where I enjoy an awesome work-life balance but a bad "work environment" or take the new job and sacrifice 2 + hours a day resulting in less time with my son. If the new job was 15 iminutes away itd be a no brai er, but its not. Should ride it out and stay at my job and hope to find something closer?

Any help is appreciated.

Like others have, keeping looking.  In another life, the new job could be a good opportunity professionally.  Even a 2h commute is do-able if the job is really awesome, but having a special needs child that you need to spend lots of time with seems like it trumps all that.  It seems to me that giving ones career ambitions any sort of priority whilst having a special need child can only be possible in situation like your current one, in which you live very close to work and have a lot of flexibility.  Don't know exactly what you do, but it sounds like the type of job that there will be multiple options for.

You state that you are making below market value, but are receiving a lower than market value offer.  Hopefully you have this well researched.  If you are indeed below market value, than there should be more opportunities out there that could get you higher salaries, and you should hold out for those.  Alternatively, you could use it as a negotiating point with the current company.  You should 100% be thinking about the full package they offer you, which includes not only the tangibles and career opportunities, but the flexibility/locations/friendliness-towards-a-parent-of-a-special-needs-child.  All of these factor into the end-of-day package that is relevant to you.

Schaefer Light

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Re: Should I take this new job? Please help...
« Reply #17 on: December 18, 2017, 01:14:36 PM »
I went into a big meeting about 5 years ago and see that I was demoted in title from Marketing Director to Marketing Manger and our Accountant was the new Sales and Marketing Director. No shit.

Wow.  I would have been pretty pissed off to find out about a demotion in a group meeting.

Illinick

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Re: Should I take this new job? Please help...
« Reply #18 on: December 18, 2017, 01:21:41 PM »
I went into a big meeting about 5 years ago and see that I was demoted in title from Marketing Director to Marketing Manger and our Accountant was the new Sales and Marketing Director. No shit.

Wow.  I would have been pretty pissed off to find out about a demotion in a group meeting.

Haha, you should've been in  the follow up meeting I had with President and the jabroni he promoted.  I did not hold back.  At all.  :)

Illinick

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Re: Should I take this new job? Please help...
« Reply #19 on: December 18, 2017, 01:23:50 PM »
UPDATE:
To update everyone.  I officially...turned down the offer.  No matter what I worked out in my head, I could not get over the fact I would been losing 2 hours a day / 10 hours a week (at the same basic salary).  That's time I could be with my son or on hobbies, etc.  That was the ultimate deal breaker for me.  It may have been the wrong decision, but I cna rest easy knowing I get that time with my son and to myself. 

Dicey

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Re: Should I take this new job? Please help...
« Reply #20 on: December 18, 2017, 03:51:33 PM »
Yay! I was just about to mess up my hair by jumping on the "Hell No!" Pile. Thanks for saving me the trouble of making myself presentable again. Good decision. Keep looking, your unicorn is out there.

Illinick

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Re: Should I take this new job? Please help...
« Reply #21 on: December 18, 2017, 04:25:28 PM »
Yay! I was just about to mess up my hair by jumping on the "Hell No!" Pile. Thanks for saving me the trouble of making myself presentable again. Good decision. Keep looking, your unicorn is out there.

Haha glad to help. I kid you not I have been using that exact phrase - maybe my unicorn job is out there. Same. Exact. Wording. Haha. So I'm in the cognitive dissonance zone right meow thinking oh crap did I make the wrong decision. But I'd have dissonance no matter what I decided. Whew, just breath i keep saying. 

Miss Piggy

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Re: Should I take this new job? Please help...
« Reply #22 on: December 18, 2017, 05:01:41 PM »
I think you made the right decision. By day 7, about 35 minutes into that commute, you would have been wanting to put a sharp stick in one or both eyes. And that never turns out well.

Illinick

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Re: Should I take this new job? Please help...
« Reply #23 on: December 18, 2017, 05:29:14 PM »
I think you made the right decision. By day 7, about 35 minutes into that commute, you would have been wanting to put a sharp stick in one or both eyes. And that never turns out well.

Thanks. Even if I hit zero traffic which is never likely to happen I'm still at 35 minutes to the lot. Then a 15-20 minute shuttle ride, so in the best non traffic day possible I'm still close to an hour. I just couldn't justify it no matter how well the work met my interests. Good work. Bad job. Of course dissonance is saying you could live with it, etc. But I know in my gut it was right move.

Illinick

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Re: Should I take this new job? Please help...
« Reply #24 on: December 19, 2017, 08:32:27 AM »
Hey wondering if you anonymous people whom I don't personally know (haha) can walk me back off the edge from a pragmatic standpoint. 

I'm having a lot of dissonance with saying NO to this job opportunity (which if you look above I turned it down) mainly probably due to my personal/social anxiety.  I keep thinking did I say no to an opportunity that on paper from a pure "work " standpoint was incredible, but from a "job" (meaning ALL things considered) did not meet my wants - salary was lower than my bottom, the commute...geez the 1 hour each way and no access to my car during the day.  I guess things are so unstable at my current job that I'm wondering if I made the wrong choice.  If things with my current job were good then I'd be like "okay, i put some feelers out, it wasn't better than i have now, no worries..."  Guess I'm fearful of the future, but all I can do is what's best right now and not worry about what ifs.  Right?  RIGHT!?!? 

Thanks for the anonymous justification...or the calling me out if you think I did make the wrong choice.     

Miss Piggy

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Re: Should I take this new job? Please help...
« Reply #25 on: December 19, 2017, 12:04:22 PM »
I believe you gave it fair, careful consideration and decided "no" because it did not meet your needs/wants. There's nothing wrong with that. Keep looking.

Worst-case scenario (assuming you're in the U.S.): you get laid off from your current job and take a severance plus unemployment for a while. You're not going to be living in a tent because of it. You will be fine. You obviously have very marketable skills.

Sincerely,
Some internet stranger with a Muppet-sounding name

zinnie

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Re: Should I take this new job? Please help...
« Reply #26 on: December 19, 2017, 12:11:49 PM »
Hey wondering if you anonymous people whom I don't personally know (haha) can walk me back off the edge from a pragmatic standpoint. 

I'm having a lot of dissonance with saying NO to this job opportunity (which if you look above I turned it down) mainly probably due to my personal/social anxiety.  I keep thinking did I say no to an opportunity that on paper from a pure "work " standpoint was incredible, but from a "job" (meaning ALL things considered) did not meet my wants - salary was lower than my bottom, the commute...geez the 1 hour each way and no access to my car during the day.  I guess things are so unstable at my current job that I'm wondering if I made the wrong choice.  If things with my current job were good then I'd be like "okay, i put some feelers out, it wasn't better than i have now, no worries..."  Guess I'm fearful of the future, but all I can do is what's best right now and not worry about what ifs.  Right?  RIGHT!?!? 

Thanks for the anonymous justification...or the calling me out if you think I did make the wrong choice.     

You made the right choice, for you, at the time. There are other jobs out there--if you were offered this one you are a good candidate for other, similar jobs. There is no point in looking back now. Onward!

Illinick

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Re: Should I take this new job? Please help...
« Reply #27 on: December 19, 2017, 12:22:18 PM »
I believe you gave it fair, careful consideration and decided "no" because it did not meet your needs/wants. There's nothing wrong with that. Keep looking.

Worst-case scenario (assuming you're in the U.S.): you get laid off from your current job and take a severance plus unemployment for a while. You're not going to be living in a tent because of it. You will be fine. You obviously have very marketable skills.

Sincerely,
Some internet stranger with a Muppet-sounding name

Thanks Miss Piggy :)  I'm slowing stepping back from the ledge.

JLee

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Re: Should I take this new job? Please help...
« Reply #28 on: December 20, 2017, 01:45:56 AM »
I think you made the right choice as well.  Keep looking, but don't settle for something that you're going to be hating after a week.

Linea_Norway

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Re: Should I take this new job? Please help...
« Reply #29 on: December 20, 2017, 05:14:04 AM »
I've read the thread. It was a good decision not to start a long commute, combined with several types of transport. I have travelled by train and subway for many years. The more types of transport you have during your commute, the bigger the chance that there is a delay somewhere in the process.

At my last employer I was often stationed anywhere in the city and as it was inside the same city, I was supposed to travel in my own time. I ended up travelling 1,5 hour each way! And when the trains had summer route it was sometimes 2 hours each way. So pretty soon I started looking for another job. After my employer had paid for a good-for-my-career-certification. It took a long time to find something better than what I had. Sometimes the job was better, but the pay was bad. Or the pension was disastrously bad. I waited and waited and applied for even more jobs. Eventually a better job came up. The pay was a bit lower than in my previous job, but I saved 8-10 hours a week in commute. And got half an hour shorter working time per day. I don't have to travel by train. The total package was better.

Sometimes I am contacted by head hunters or people that I know who want me to apply for a new job. Now I really cannot motivate myself to do so, as they all will imply a much longer commute. I hope I can hold out in this job until i FIRE, which is hopefully in a couple of years.