Should I retire?

[GuitarStv]

I'm at a bit of a weird place in life at the moment.

We're up to about 1.3 mil invested, and in addition to that have a fully paid off home worth about 800k, a substantial amount set aside for my son's education (little over 100k), and no loans or debt of any kind.  I could comfortably quit tomorrow.  And for many, many, many years the plan was . . . as soon as I've got enough to quit, I'd quit.  There are a huge number of things that I have lined up to do 'when there's more time' from writing more music, to playing more live music, to spending more time with my son, to some long distance bikepacking trips, to renovating our house.

But I'm kinda enjoying my work at the moment.  Or at least I don't find it as stressful and terrible as I found my previous few jobs.  I like the people I work with and enjoy hiring and being a co-op mentor every few months.  Some aspects of work suck, but overall I'm good with it.  My boss gave me an unexpected and huge raise out of the blue last year, so he seems happy with what I'm doing.  I've certainly been enjoying the 'mostly working from home' option during this pandemic (it's incredible how much even a short 30 minute commute sucks the fun out of the day - and I've been sleeping a solid 9 hrs a night for the last six months . . . which after half a decade of serious insomnia problems is unbelievable).  It's unknown how or if things will change this fall when it seems very likely that we'll be heading back to the office.

I expect that if I do retire, that's pretty much it forever more as far as my high earnings days go and there doesn't seem to be a burning need to quit at the moment.  I'm also not sure if retiring would be setting a bad example for my son, who we're trying to instill a good work ethic into.  I'm also feeling some weird things - slightly nervous that maybe I've misjudged everything and won't be very happy retired, concerned that I'll need more money to deal with the ecological death spiral that we're continuing to push the planet into, concerned that it would be stupid to not take advantage of the big salary bump for at least a few years.  But I'm also 40 years old now.  Several close friends have recently died.  Time is ticking away, and men in my family don't tend to live very long.  Is being complacent on this costing me?  Things seem less clear to me than they did when I was miserably slaving away at a company and job that I hated ten years ago.

[lhamo]

Personally if I were in your position I would wait and see how things pan out with the return to the office plans in general, and then use your FU money to see if you can get your work situation more aligned with your longer-term goals.  Could you remain primarily WFH, or go down to 3-4 days/week, or some combination of  both?  Could you convert to consulting seasonally (depending on the work flow at your place of business) or on a project by project basis?  You have bargaining power -- use it.

Alternatively you could start discussing these options with the higher ups NOW and maybe, if you are valuable enough to them, that would result in policies overall being more aligned with what you want.

[pasadenafr]

Personally if I were in your position I would wait and see how things pan out with the return to the office plans in general, and then use your FU money to see if you can get your work situation more aligned with your longer-term goals.  Could you remain primarily WFH, or go down to 3-4 days/week, or some combination of  both?  Could you convert to consulting seasonally (depending on the work flow at your place of business) or on a project by project basis?  You have bargaining power -- use it.

Alternatively you could start discussing these options with the higher ups NOW and maybe, if you are valuable enough to them, that would result in policies overall being more aligned with what you want.

+1. I'll add maybe part time?

There is no "should". You could, but nobody's saying you have to if you don't want to. You're also young enough that you can afford to wait a few months or years until you really feel like leaving, and having a little more money as cushion won't hurt.

[WSUCoug1994]

Time.  Your Son/Family.  You wont get this time back.

I personally do not think any kid would rather see their parent(s) leave for 8-10 hours a day just so they can learn the value of hard work.  My boss tried to pull that stuff on me when I told him when I was retiring.  I have been working 60-80 hour weeks for 25+years.   My kids are 3 and 5 and my perspective might change but both of them are holding onto my legs as I head off to work every day praying that I stay home and play with them.  I can educate them that the freedom that we have to spend time together is because of the hard work - this doesn't only need to be done by example. 

If you HAD to go back for some emergency situation - you have clearly created opportunities for success throughout your 20 year career and I am sure you could do it again.  Hell everyone that I know that has retired has had so many opportunities presented to them during retirement.

Easier said than done - I have struggled with all of the same issues - but I am leaving at the end of next year no questions asked.  I don't have as much time as you as I will be 51 when I retire.  I wish I had been in your spot 11 years ago.

[JJ-]

From the other side of the coin... If you took a month off, paid or unpaid, and at the end would you want to go back to work or not? I find that at least a few weeks is needed to get outside of my "time to get back to work" mindset after a week vacation. For me personally there are things that I enjoy at work but I'm not sure that's where I'd choose to spend my time.

Regarding kid role model ... I won't tell you how to parent your child :). I will toss a consideration that just because you're not gainfully employed doesn't mean you're not committed to choices/projects in life. Showing commitment could be important. If he's old enough he might understand why you have the flexibility.

[Paper Chaser]

I don't know the personalities involved, but I'd argue that retiring early might be a great way to showcase the value of hard work and good decision making to a young person. You reap what you sow, and you've spent a couple decades working, investing and sacrificing to make this possible. Nothing at all wrong with executing the plan you laid out and enjoying the fruits of your labor.

You can always make more money, even if it may not be at quite the same rate as you currently do. You cannot buy more time.

[scantee]

I would put retiring on hold for now and take the next 6 to 12 months to think through what you want out of your life. Not just, every once and awhile give it some casual thought, but have a structured approach where really set aside regular time to document and give thought to your values and goals for yourself and your family.

Could be therapy, could be journaling. I’m sure there are other methods you could use to provide structure to your thought process. Then at the end of the time period you set follow through on whatever your decision is and feel good about it. No second guessing what you decide. If after a year of living the life you choose, you’re really unhappy you can always reassess at that point. My guess is you are both understating your ability to enter the workforce if you take some time off and the enjoyment you’ll get from not working.

But who knows. That is what a structured approach will help you figure out. Plus it is not a forever decision, you can and likely make another choice at some point in the future.

[dreadmoose]

I don't have direct experience here, but will be in a similar position in 3 years when my numbers all click (conservatively). I've been starting to frame these thoughts as "What advice would I give someone else in this position, and mostly my kids if they found themselves here. If I saw their children begging for more playtime each day and knew they'd be fine financially I think my advice would be to leave your work amicably (give them 6 months notice or something, would depend on industry).

Modeling a good work ethic is probably more about what they see vs what they're told. If you want them to have a good work ethic you can start projects with them and show them how you follow through first hand. I can't imagine they're learning much of what you actually do each day other than have to leave for work, they can learn that with throwaway jobs when they're teens.

I'm fully expecting OMY fear to grab me, that part seems completely rote on this forum. I'm trying to focus on the opposite side at least to balance it out. A high-paying career with large raises means you've created knowledge and value, those won't go away and your resume will always read with them on. I've hired some people that took sabbaticals for a few years from work and it really only takes them a month or two to get back into the swing of things. All that to say you can always go back to work later, and everyone I know that retired got offers all over the place they could entertain on a whim if they got scared again.

[FLBiker]

Personally if I were in your position I would wait and see how things pan out with the return to the office plans in general, and then use your FU money to see if you can get your work situation more aligned with your longer-term goals.  Could you remain primarily WFH, or go down to 3-4 days/week, or some combination of  both?  Could you convert to consulting seasonally (depending on the work flow at your place of business) or on a project by project basis?  You have bargaining power -- use it.

Alternatively you could start discussing these options with the higher ups NOW and maybe, if you are valuable enough to them, that would result in policies overall being more aligned with what you want.

+1. I'll add maybe part time?

There is no "should". You could, but nobody's saying you have to if you don't want to. You're also young enough that you can afford to wait a few months or years until you really feel like leaving, and having a little more money as cushion won't hurt.

Another +1 for this.  I'm in a very similar situation -- I'm a bit older, similar NW, have a $200K CDN mortgage.  My employer just engaged a PEO so that they are able to employ me w/ benefits in Canada (we moved last summer), and I'm committed to giving them a year since they did that.  After that, my plan is to start downshifting -- first to .75 or .8, then to .5.  My wife is also working part-time.  We have a 6 year old daughter.  Now that we've hit our FI number, we've both kind of realized that neither of us wants to fully retire.  Thus, the goal is to shift to part-time work that we enjoy, and keep doing that.  And if the employer pushes back or it cease to be enjoyable, then quit and either not work at all or look for something else part-time.  For me personally, I have seen that I tend to get depressed with large swaths of unstructured free-time, so I like the idea of easing into it.

Obviously, being available for our child (currently 6) is a huge priority, but I don't think being a good parent necessarily means that both parents are around 24/7, especially as kids get older.  My wife took 2.5 years off when our daughter was born, then went back to work   One of us is pretty much always around -- I work from home and DW's part-time work is also from home right now (although she might be face to face in the fall).  Working from home, I'm able to have breakfast with her and walk her to the bus stop, greet her after school, and play with her before dinner.  At the same time, I also think it's important for kids to have independent time, where they aren't counting on a parent / caretaker keeping them entertained (which, IME, with an only child, can become a bit of an expectation).  Every kid (and family) is different, though.

[GuitarStv]

Reduced work hours is a great idea.  I wonder if I could swing something along those lines with my boss.

[JJ-]

Reduced work hours is a great idea.  I wonder if I could swing something along those lines with my boss.

I'm reducing hours and I'm nowhere near your financial stability. There's a thread for down shifters in the post fire section where you may find some conversation starters or motivation to consider it. You're probably aware of it but haven't looked at it with that perspective. link here

[Mr. Green]

I was very nervous walking away from my job for the same reasons. After being out of my career for two years you're out permanently, so there would be no going back. And I feared maybe it wouldn't be enough either. Switching from saving to spending is a monumental shift in mindset, even if a lot of it is subconscious. I think it just took time for me to realize the sky wasn't falling after I'd quit. Each year of FIRE I got more comfortable with the idea, though to be fair we've had a pretty good run in equities since mid-2017. If I'd faced a big recession right after maybe I'd think differently. Then again maybe I'd feel even better because by now things would have mostly recovered and our stash would still look fine.

Definitely check into part-time. What a great way to keep a bit of cash coming in and give you that element of enjoyment, while still giving you the time you want to enjoy other things more. If that's not a possibility though, well sometimes you just have to jump and trust that the math won't work out any differently for you than it has in the past. That can be a lot harder for people who aren't particularly dissatisfied with their jobs. As your motivation for money ebbs, because you have enough, the other priorities will feel more pressing until you'll decide it's time to stop. Or not. Nothing wrong with working longer if the derived benefit feels worth it.

[SunnyDays]

Here's a thought about showing your child the value of hard work:  he isn't currently seeing you work hard.  He's seeing you leave the house in the morning and come back in the evening.  He has no idea what you do all day.  What he's actually learning, IMO, is that work involves being away from home.  When I had a job, I actually felt like my work started when I got home and had to squeeze in all the things my job didn't leave me time for.  But most people think that only a proper job is work.  Dreadmoose has good points along this line - actually let your son see you work and involve him in it.  Your job only brings in a paycheque and contains nothing that you couldn't do for free in other ways.

[Tester]

I can only say one thing: I would love to be in your situation.
For now sitting at 280k invested assets and 550k total net worth.
I am 43 with 9 and 3 year old kids and I don't get to play with them enough (for my wants).

I am not going to tell you to quit, I just think that in your situation I would at least get part time work.
Or a 3 month break to just sleep.

[JLee]

Re: instilling a work ethic, that can exist outside of ordinary employment.  What better way to demonstrate work ethic to kids than to prove how life can be about things more important than the daily grind, as long as you're disciplined enough to make it happen? :)

[Metalcat]

Going away to a job that your kid doesn't see doesn't instill any level of work ethic. If it did, then workaholic parents would consistently have hardworking kids, and they don't.

By having more time with your kid, you will have more opportunity to teach, to explain your choices, to understand what kind of motivation they actually need help with in life.

My dad wasn't working for a good chunk of my childhood and I hugely benefitted from the time he spent teaching me very valuable things, and I ended up an accomplished professional.

On a personal note though, I think you should retire or take some time off.

Feel free to ignore me, but I've actually been a little concerned for you. Your posts over the last several months have felt to me to be showing some stress/distress. Nothing obvious, just a tone shift from your usual, which I've been familiar with on a daily basis for years.

Again, feel free to ignore me, I don't actually know you, but I have a long history of spotting when people's tone changes, indicating the need for some kind of change or some kind of support.

You sound like someone who needs a change.

Just my two cents.

[joe189man]

How old is your son? do you want more kids? are you the only one with the salary?

maybe try to reduce hours to about your FIRE budget for a year, that way you can see if the spending is in line with budgets, have more free time and have another year to grow the investments.

[Eowyn_MI]

... to spending more time with my son ...

I don't know how old your son is but it's most likely that you will have less opportunities to spend time with him as the years go by.  This isn't something that you can do later if one day you wish that you had spent more time with him while he grows up.

Your son will (hopefully) grow into a successful and independent young adult as the years go by.  Unless you are about to start a family business and work with him directly then he's going to get busy going to school, getting a job/career sorted out and finding his own work/life balance.

If your son is at the age where being with Dad is still the coolest thing ever then I think that you have a golden opportunity to be a good influence by spending more time with him.  Want to renovate the house?  That's a great example of work ethic and it would help him learn practical life skills.

If you weren't getting paid, would you still do your job for free? 

If you already have enough money then earning more should not be a large factor in your decision making.

[GuitarStv]

On a personal note though, I think you should retire or take some time off.

Feel free to ignore me, but I've actually been a little concerned for you. Your posts over the last several months have felt to me to be showing some stress/distress. Nothing obvious, just a tone shift from your usual, which I've been familiar with on a daily basis for years.

Again, feel free to ignore me, I don't actually know you, but I have a long history of spotting when people's tone changes, indicating the need for some kind of change or some kind of support.

You sound like someone who needs a change.

Just my two cents.

While much of covid has been pretty awesome (no commute, no pants, not having to see other people, etc.) some of it has been stressful and challenging (everyone trying to work remotely while also trying to ensure that our son is paying attention/doing the work that he's supposed to be with the truly horrible online 'learning' that our school board did, dealing with the death of several family members and friends along with our dog, etc.).  I'm sure that I haven't always dealt with things in the best way and have been more snippy/cranky/touchy than was called for.  Not sure if that was really job related, but it's something to think about.

How old is your son? do you want more kids? are you the only one with the salary?

maybe try to reduce hours to about your FIRE budget for a year, that way you can see if the spending is in line with budgets, have more free time and have another year to grow the investments.

My son is seven and a half.

There's no conceivable way that my wife or I would want another kid.

My wife works full time as well, (although I have always made more than her with identical qualifications and a nearly identical educational/work history - although complaining about how white male privilege is ruining my sugar momma's earning potential is probably best left to another discussion).  My wife doesn't really like her job, but also doesn't want to retire in the near future.  She is quite a bit more risk averse than I am, and is more of a 2% than 4% rule person.  The original plan was that I would retire first, and she would keep working for another year or two to prove that the finances are fine - then she re-evaluates if she's feeling more comfortable with the whole thing.

[BlueHouse]

If you're ready emotionally to retire, then do it.  I FIREd in March when I just barely hit my number.  I wasn't planning to FIRE until next year, but things just sort of came together and I realized it was the right time and that if I didn't do it then, I might get stuck out of guilt hanging around longer than I wanted.

In March, I had just barely touched my number.  basically, by including the cash in my checking and savings (which I never include because those are really cash-flow accounts), I had my number and I just figured "I'll make it work".  Well, I'm up $200K since the day I quit and stopped any further savings/investing.  Any doubt I had about "Do I have enough" is so far gone it's laughable.  I guess it could have gone the other way, but as I said, I'd make it work.  :)

Oh, by the way, I'm so busy now that I've retired -- the difference is that I'm learning and doing things I want to learn about.  I LOVE keeping a bullet journal that encourages me to track my progress doing things I want to do.  My goal is to get to every museum this year and some national parks, I track the books I've read, I track some things that focus on my health, I track my sleep habits.  Plenty of tracking to put me at a desk for an hour or two a day when I want it.  :)

Good luck!

[FIRE 20/20]

I'll offer my support for the part-time / negotiate a better situation at work camp.  Both my partner and I did that about a year before we hit 25x, and ended up staying about a year past hitting 25x (for a total of about 2 years in the better roles at work).  We both were highly valued at work and were able to turn that into situations that dramatically improved the quality of our lives.  We both worked part time and in roles with well-defined boundaries that either reduced or eliminated the things we disliked about work.  I feel like for us the transition to fewer hours and less stressful roles helped us ease into retirement.  We lived much better lives - both at work and away from work - during those two years than we had previously.  It's also been nice to have a little extra money even though our spending has come in below our planned budget each of our first two FIREd years.  The growth we saw during that time plus happily spending less than we planned means our withdrawal rate is under 3%.  While I would be comfortable with 4%, knowing that we are way below that has been very good for our mental health. 

If I were in your shoes, I would try to figure out what you dislike about work (specific tasks or meetings, if possible) and see if any of those things can be dropped.  Some may be integral to the kind of work you can do, but others might not be.  It sounds like going back to the office might be a good line in the sand - if they say coming back is mandatory you can have a discussion with your boss to explain that if it applies to you you'll submit your resignation.  Maybe working 4 or 6 hours a day would allow you to do more of what you want to do but would also be something your company would accept if you make it clear that the other option is that they'd get 0 hours a week.  Maybe you could offer to take a pay cut to get significantly increased vacation time.  Or maybe they might be willing to let you take an unpaid sabbatical so you could test out the FIREd waters, although I will say that for me it took a few months to really decompress and understand what my FIREd life was going to look like. 

The only bad decision I think is to continue to work full-time without any changes to your responsibilities.  There are things you could do with that time and you don't need the job any more.  And you have the power in the relationship even if they don't know it yet because they need you more than you need them. 

[MrThatsDifferent]

Ok, tough one. Let’s deal with the primary issue you mentioned first: retiring to spend more time with your son. Umm, what would this look like in reality that is different than now? Your son is 7 so is in 2nd or 3rd grade. He’s a school for 7-8 hours, the same time generally you’re at work. Do you need more time in the morning or more time in the afternoon? How can you get that time difference with the job?

As for setting a bad example, I don’t see that as a thing. Also, odd that we worry that not working because we worked so hard and can retire is a possible bad example but working so much that you barely see your kid is a good example.

What comes through is that you’re not ready to retire because you have a good gig atm and there’s no pressing need. So what’s motivating you to force it? What are you missing out on in your life? It’s just as fine to work as not work. It’s about the life you want and what brings you happiness. If your current job is fulfilling something, ride that out. As I shared with someone else, sometimes I think people are rushing FIRE just to prove they can win that game and kick their feet up. You have the luxury of being done when you feel you’re done, if you’re not there yet, that’s ok too. So my vote is don’t quit until you feel it in your bones and you will know when that day has come and you won’t have to crowdsource the opinions of strangers. ;-)

[Wolfpack Mustachian]

Others have said this much better than I'll be able to, but the thing that sticks out to me is your power in the situation. You can stick around a little bit until everybody starts to go back if you like (I would probably do it myself). It sounds like you're enjoying the work from home setup. That could be your first attempt at negotiation - that you'd like to WFH or maybe WFH 3-4 days a week if that's the priority. If not, then negotiating for the part time set up or whatever you feel is most important. The biggest thing IMO is the realization that once you can retire, you have tons of negotiating power in the situation.

People in jobs all over are able to negotiate for all kinds of things - more money, better work/life balance, better working conditions, etc. They don't do it because they need their jobs. You don't need your job. It might be worth it to use this negotiating power that you likely have, that many others have but don't know it because their situations don't allow for them to try. You have that power! Go you :-)!

[AccidentialMustache]

So I have some similar feels. A little older, with a little older son. I can't say my gig is perfect (on-call, bleh) but it is pretty good and it is working itself into a stupid fire hose of cash. We will almost certainly hit our number before that fire hose turns off (ahh stock grants). I suspect I will keep working "a few more years" until the grant ends. DW has been suggesting in a year or so I start negotiating part-time. That is appealing -- I had a 4-day/32-hr "full time" gig for a while and that was *excellent* for reduced stress and overall quality of life.

In terms of a better life, for us, I'm pretty sure the reduced stress/higher quality of life is a bigger benefit than "more (but lower quality, because I'm stressed) time with my son." Which to some degree says I should be negotiating a 4-day setup now... but my position to negotiate that will be much better a year from now.

[norajean]

Sounds like work is ok, so I would just continue and see what happens, particularly at your current savings level.

[lhamo]

Re, the "work ethic" thing, consider some of the values you are demonstrating by modeling a healthy (financially and otherwise) FIRE mindset:

If you choose a promising career track and limit your spending only to the things that really matter to you, you only have to spend 10-15 years of your adult life working for the money that will support you for the rest of your life.

Once you have FU or FI money, you can choose whether or not to work for a salary.  You have options and can leverage that to get an ideal work situation if you decide to keep working for other people. 

Not having to work for a salary means you can be present for the people you care about and not have to have the extra stress of juggling a job on top of it.  You have the time to devote to staying physically, mentally and emotionally fit.  You can make delicious meals for your family every night.   You can go to all the kids school events.  You can be involved with the PTA.  You can volunteer in your community.  You can help friends and family (especially aging parents) in the event of a medical or other emergency.

My kids know that we worked hard and rode a big wave of luck into our current position.  And they have enjoyed and appreciated the outcome, especially the benefit of having us around during their teen years (which has been a better fit for me than being a SAHP to pre-schoolers would have been). 

[ender]

What are you retiring to?

[kei te pai]

You have the enormous luxury of choices. Do you really choose more of the same, or is there another way of living to experience?
As @ender has just asked, what would you retire to?

[boarder42]

I'd quit. We're in the same spot. I've interviewed numerous people here who have recently quit. You don't need to retire to something. There's lots to do. Talked with Sol and many others. One thing I've rarely seen from someone on this path is that they wish they'd worked longer. Sol was like us too he liked his job.  He even went back for a bit and was like this is terrible. In my short 4 weeks of mini retirement (I'm on FMLA for the summer I have to work til December to get over 30% of my comp). I've been able to spend so much time with my daughters. Take them to swim lessons, go swimming while they are in lessons, go out on the lake with friends, walk and spend time with my parents almost daily.

There is no substitute to not working

[Metalcat]

I'd quit. We're in the same spot. I've interviewed numerous people here who have recently quit. You don't need to retire to something. There's lots to do. Talked with Sol and many others. One thing I've rarely seen from someone on this path is that they wish they'd worked longer. Sol was like us too he liked his job.  He even went back for a bit and was like this is terrible. In my short 4 weeks of mini retirement (I'm on FMLA for the summer I have to work til December to get over 30% of my comp). I've been able to spend so much time with my daughters. Take them to swim lessons, go swimming while they are in lessons, go out on the lake with friends, walk and spend time with my parents almost daily.

There is no substitute to not working

Agreed, I loved my job, absolutely adored it, and I've been perfectly happy not retiring "to" anything.

If you are a happy, productive person, you will do happy, fun productive things. You won't need to pre-plan in order to thrive in retirement, you just will.

[Chaplin]

I agree that the whole "retiring to" something falls into the category of just because it's catchy and quotable (and, I admit, do sound sensible) doesn't mean it's true.

I FIRE'ed about six weeks ago and have appreciated every extra moment I've been able to spend with my son who's 12. It might not be all day, every day, but even an extra hour every day is great.

I share your concerns about the environment disaster we're all running headlong into. Rather than view it as needing to pad the accounts more to deal with that (which might be smart), I'm looking at using some of this extra time to bring whatever skills and experience I have to try to do something about it.

[ender]

1.  Air
2.  Water
3.  Food
4.  Shelter
5.  Stimulation (mental and physical)

With supply of those happiness or misery merely becomes a matter of outlook.

Your own words in another thread answer this question perfectly clearly.

Yes, you should quit, unless quitting is going to result in the loss of those.

[MrThatsDifferent]

I’m not going to argue that it’s necessary to retire to something. I could easily stop working today and fill my days. Each person has to see where they’re at with the concept. There are great stories of people retiring to nothing and thriving. There’s also stories of people retiring (especially men) and their lives falling apart. It’s a real thing and we shouldn’t ignore it. When you’re ready, and you know it, then you’re ready.

[GuitarStv]

1.  Air
2.  Water
3.  Food
4.  Shelter
5.  Stimulation (mental and physical)

With supply of those happiness or misery merely becomes a matter of outlook.

Your own words in another thread answer this question perfectly clearly.

Yes, you should quit, unless quitting is going to result in the loss of those.

I'm pretty happy right now, and expect that I'll also be pretty happy upon retirement.  Not sure I see how that answers the question?

[Dicey]

I’m not going to argue that it’s necessary to retire to something. I could easily stop working today and fill my days. Each person has to see where they’re at with the concept. There are great stories of people retiring to nothing and thriving. There’s also stories of people retiring (especially men) and their lives falling apart. It’s a real thing and we shouldn’t ignore it. When you’re ready, and you know it, then you’re ready.

Some folks around here have benefited from a little shove er, push.

I second everything Malcat said. Searingly insightful, that one.

[frugaldrummer]

Ok - as someone who has been active for many years on a divorce recovery board, I’d like to throw just 1 or 2 things in there.

First of all, it’s sadly true that I’ve seen many marriage breakups where the husband was the stay at home parent or the low earner. Sexist though it is, many women are still conditioned to think the husband should be the breadwinner. If your wife is uncomfortable retiring at the peak of a stock market bubble with an inflationary future looming, and feels she is stuck working while you’re retired and spending quality time with your son that SHE would like to be spending - well, I’ve seen that resentment lead to affairs and divorces. I’d make sure she’s 100% on board, not just humoring you.

Also, if she’s continuing working because she wants a more luxurious lifestyle than a 3 or 4% withdrawal rate will afford, she may see your early retirement as the thing that is robbing her of her dream trip to Paris.

Third - how are you at housework and cooking? If you retire and she’s working full time, she’s likely to feel like you should shoulder all the housework. You might be retiring to the very hard work of being a full time homemaker and stay at home parent with surprisingly less free time than you think,

Fourth - I hate to bring this up, and certainly hope it doesn’t happen to you, but divorce is common. You may have enough to be retired as half of a couple, but how would you fare in a divorce? Would 400k of housing equity be enough to buy a home in your sons school district? Could you live on half the planned retirement income ? (Two really do live more cheaply than one).

[okits]

A lot of good stuff has already been said.  I'll chime in with the notion that you are setting an example for your kid no matter what you do.  Maybe that example is parenting is important and that your son is worth your time and focus, particularly since you've hit your number.

[MrThatsDifferent]

I’m not going to argue that it’s necessary to retire to something. I could easily stop working today and fill my days. Each person has to see where they’re at with the concept. There are great stories of people retiring to nothing and thriving. There’s also stories of people retiring (especially men) and their lives falling apart. It’s a real thing and we shouldn’t ignore it. When you’re ready, and you know it, then you’re ready.

Some folks around here have benefited from a little shove er, push.

I second everything Malcat said. Searingly insightful, that one.

I’m sure they have, particularly when they’re in toxic work situations but still oscillate. That’s not the case here and so the urgency to be pushed may not be there. Each situation is different.

[GuitarStv]

Thanks everyone for the comments.  Lots to think about.  Still not sure exactly what I'm going to do, but I do appreciate the advice.

[Fru-Gal]

I vote for quitting too. And your situation is helpful to me in terms of not staying past my initial plan. Consider that I'm 11 years older AND have less money. So if I had your numbers, BUH BYE!!!!

[ender]

not to mention aren't you in tech?

[MrThatsDifferent]

Thanks everyone for the comments.  Lots to think about.  Still not sure exactly what I'm going to do, but I do appreciate the advice.

Good luck and please keep us updated, we’re all invested now ;-)