My SO other and I will be moving to Colorado in the fall for her to start a two-year graduate program. I will be looking for my first career putting my Masters degree to work. I can expect to earn ~$45,000 for an entry level position in my field.
Neither of us have any debt currently, she has a few thousand dollars in the bank and I have some personal savings (~$50,000 mostly in Vanguard funds). Her tuition will cost about $25,000/yr for two years. She is doing her best to find scholarships/grants/TAships/work-study to limit the loans she has to take out.
I don't intend to help pay tuition but I am trying to figure out if I should help pay more than our current 50/50 split on shared expenses (rent, food, transportation, etc) while I am earning an income and she is going into debt. She will be working part time during school and will probably earn enough to cover her half of expenses, but then won't have any left to go towards tuition, and therefore be racking up more debt.
Being in a committed relationship (we are engaged) I want to do my best to help her avoid debt since to a certain degree I feel her debt is also mine. I am more frugal than her, however, and would prefer to live extra-cheap for the next few years before she is earning an income (get roommates, eat lots of rice and lentils, etc) in order to reach FIRE sooner. She is not a big spender but is also no Mustachian, and wants an apartment to ourselves, decent food, a new bike, and some level of luxury (in my mind) spending.
I don't want to push her past her comfort zone on the spending front (don't want to totally put her off of Mustachian living and FIRE) so we will undoubtedly be spending more than I would prefer. I can justify this increased spending with the importance of maintaining a good relationship. I am afraid that if I am paying more than 50% of our shared expenses I will resent it. For example, if I was paying for 75% of our rent I would feel frustrated if she spent $45 on a haircut, since she might feel that me helping with rent frees her up to spend a bit more on "luxuries." I could also see myself selfishly resenting the setback to my personal FIRE date, since she doesn't have the same early retirement goals as me and is ok working a longer career.
Has anyone dealt with a similar situation? Should we just keep the 50/50 split since it is inherently "fair" and let her take on more debt and then pay it off herself? Should I be paying 60-70-100% of our expenses? Any relevant advice would be much appreciated.