450 for something decent. I just figure if we're going to move we might as well optimal space for everyone to live and grow, hence looking for 5bdr 4 bath. Working on frugalizing everything else in the mean time but still doesn't change the raw multiplier/percentage of income math when it comes to housing expenses that everyone seems to use.
When I married my husband five years ago, we fit 3 kids (aged 3-7) and us into a 2000 sq ft house and thought it was a teeny bit cramped. When we moved to a different town, we bought a 3000 sq ft house, thinking that would be perfect for us as the kids grew. (Note: we did get new construction, but we bought the model home as the neighborhood built out. As the model, it had EVERYTHING..and because it was officially 3 years old, we negotiated a 15% discount on the list price.)
We were dumb. Our kids are now aged 8-12, and our house is way too big. There are two entire rooms we don't use. They have furniture and other crap in them, and occasionally we visit the crap, but the rooms themselves are useless. We could cut 400 sq ft off the house without noticing, and probably cut 750 sq ft off before it occurred to us that we were cramped. Big lesson for us - kids need less room as they get older, because their toys (e.g., electronics) get a lot tinier. We seriously considered downsizing this year, and we may very well do that next year.
I live in a lower cost of living area than you, but my income is about the same as yours, and, like you, I'm the sole provider at the moment. I had heart palpitations at the thought of paying 650k for a house on my income. ESPECIALLY when you don't have much savings in the grand scheme of things.
I urge you to refactor your expectations of what you really *need* in a house, in terms of size and features. Gated communities are always more expensive - is that really necessary? 3500 sq ft is unnecessary (I promise).
