I need some Mustachian perspective on a dilemma that's sprouted up rather abruptly.
My fiancé has just been told he needs to relocate to Hawaii in 2 weeks for work or he'll be let go. He would be eligible for unemployment benefits. Should he quit, or should I quit and go with him to Hawaii?
We currently live in Portland, OR and love it. Moved here 1.5 years ago for the lifestyle. We rent a small old house with a garden and yard. However, Portland is not our "forever home." We're thinking about pursuing master's degrees in Scandinavia in a few years for free/cheap (American born & raised, but EU dual citizens) and raise our future children in the EU somewhere.
I've always been an overachiever-- straight A's, great engineering internships, undergrad degree by age 19, etc. and I have an engineering job I enjoy, but will be ready to move on in a couple years. My fiancé has always been a slacker-- straight C's, took 6 years to finish undergrad degree, and no job prospects upon graduation. However, he's very charming and landed an engineering job making the same salary as my hard earned job, and he enjoys the work but not the company culture.
In 2 years, I will be fully vested in my 401k, but will lose the match if I quit before that. My company matches 10% of annual salary, and I contribute the max 10%.
We both make roughly 60k each, are 25/26 years old, no kids, and getting married next year (open to an elopement for practical purposes like health insurance, however not ideal). Our savings rate is 50%, and only debt is his 18k of student loans.
His job will transfer him to Hawaii and pay him 90k salary (mostly cost-of-living adjustment, not a true raise), and will pay for moving flights and expenses. He would be working in a suburb of Honolulu, and would most likely bike to work. If I tried to get a job in Honolulu, the commute would be 20 miles (90 minutes of traffic), which is unreasonably long, as you know! There seems to be few jobs in the suburbs.
I don't want to quit my job because I worked hard to get it, I like it, I'll lose the 401k match, and I don't want to be unemployed or change fields. As a feminist, I also take issue with being a trailing spouse, especially when I'm the academically more accomplished and goal-oriented one of the couple. On the other hand, I can't deny that the idea of living in Hawaii is very intriguing! We're both very outdoorsy.
Another thing -- we have an elderly cat and a large breed dog that are part of our family, so if we move, we will have to deal with the whole shipping them across the ocean and quarantine issue. I imagine it is also difficult to find a rental in Hawaii with these animals.
I feel uncomfortable mentioning salary amounts to my friends and family, most of whom make much less than us, so I'm turning to the internet for advice.