There are many ways to get the money out of the 401Ks before 59 and 1/2. I don't understand them and worry about them for a while, but "roth Pipeline" and "SEPP" are words thrown around here a lot.
Definitely max out the employer matches on both spouses. Don't leave free money on the table. If you are a high tax bracket, maxing both would also be worthwhile. (Instant 25% return is hard to beat!) If you are in a low tax bracket, and you have bad options in your 401K, it MAY be reasonable to redirect to Vanguard after getting both matches. But, if you are in a low tax bracket, it would probably be hard for you to max them both out.