Author Topic: She needs to make at least $70K  (Read 16765 times)

EconDiva

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She needs to make at least $70K
« on: November 05, 2015, 12:12:58 PM »
I was just having a conversation with a friend of mine the other day about finances and other random things but during the course of the conversation he mentioned to me that 'should' he decide to start dating online soon, he will be sure to mention in his profile that the woman needs to make a certain amount of money.  He said she needs to be at least at $70k because his plan for the future is to save/invest her income and live off of his, and with his financial goals for his future family he needs to know his partner will have the kind of income to support those goals.

I didn't really feel any sort of way about it...thoughts?

catccc

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Re: She needs to make at least $70K
« Reply #1 on: November 05, 2015, 12:24:07 PM »
A friend of mine put high income requirements on her online dating filters, and I felt decidedly negative about it.  I said to her, what's better a guy that earns $40K and spends $20K each year, or a guy that earns $150K and spends $155K a year?!  It isn't the income that supports investing goals like his, but spending habits, IMO.  Her response was something like "true, but..."  IDK, she just acknowledged my point, but didn't think much of it. 

So, yeah, this move annoys me for sure.  She says it is because she wants someone who can take care of himself, but the logic doesn't follow.  Also, I felt it was really stupid of her to exclude someone that would be a great partner based on salary.  If she applied the same rules to her friends, I wouldn't be one of them.  If I applied the same rule to my spouse, who is an amazing partner for me, he wouldn't have made the cut.  Lame idea, IMO.

She actually may have changed it.  She was dating a guy that was FI, but too frugal for her tastes.  They started dating prior to him leaving his job as a lawyer, so his six figure income made the cut off.  Then he quit working, and didn't have the money to wine and dine her like she wanted him to.  Her new guy makes considerably less, but is kind of a minimalist and isn't really spendy.  And they get along way better than her last beau. 

I would caution your friend that he might be filtering out a potential great love by setting income requirements.

Rezdent

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Re: She needs to make at least $70K
« Reply #2 on: November 05, 2015, 12:26:27 PM »
Hmmm.
I suspect that posting this in his profile will weed out a lot of prospects.  Not just because lower income ladies will be excluded, but also because a lot of those who would qualify will pass by that profile and think "gold digger".

slugline

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Re: She needs to make at least $70K
« Reply #3 on: November 05, 2015, 12:29:28 PM »
At least he's being upfront about it?

Some might be turned off by a potential partner who's unemployed . . . or even by one who's in a minimum wage job . . . but some point on the job/career/income scale comes "acceptable" for dating material, right? (For the purposes of this discussion, we'll leave out those who have already achieved FIRE status.)

irishbear99

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Re: She needs to make at least $70K
« Reply #4 on: November 05, 2015, 12:33:11 PM »
I have a few not-so-nice thoughts, but that wouldn't be constructive. The kindest way I can state my opinion is by saying that I don't think his approach is going to provide the outcome he wants. Financial compatibility is extremely important, but that's not what he's asking for. What if he finds someone who meets his $70k requirement but spends it all? Or tells him to go *blank* himself when he tries to requisition her earned money for his savings goals? What if she marries him but then gets sick and can't work? Wants to be a SAHP? Would he divorce her if she suddenly dipped below that $70K? What if she agrees to his financial plan but doesn't agree with his goals for the money?

So many more what ifs...but you get the gist.

Giro

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Re: She needs to make at least $70K
« Reply #5 on: November 05, 2015, 12:41:58 PM »
He shouldn't post it on his profile.  He should weed the folks out after he meets them.  I had an income requirement when I was single.  I work hard and I save as much as possible.  I wanted something similar in a mate.   The idea that they may have a $200k salary and spend $225k would also weed them out in my mind. 

   

bridget

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Re: She needs to make at least $70K
« Reply #6 on: November 05, 2015, 12:47:31 PM »
I do make significantly more than $70k, and I think the general idea of living off of one income and saving the other is an excellent idea. I also think it's very important to avoid dating financially irresponsible people and to find someone who is compatible with you in terms of your approach to finances.

But if I saw his profile, I would be incredibly turned off.

I think I don't like it because it indicates an inflexible and kind of controlling mindset. He has already made a bunch of very specific decisions about his future life will be, and imagined a very specific person in his head, and is now trying to order the model he wants from the internets. It's not treating potential partners as autonomous people who will have their own opinions. It's trying to shoehorn a living breathing person into his life he's designed independently, instead of cooperatively building a life together.

zephyr911

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Re: She needs to make at least $70K
« Reply #7 on: November 05, 2015, 01:03:23 PM »
He's limiting himself.

DW was a broke college student living with her parents when we met. Now that she has an advanced academic degree, she's making a whopping $40K, and is unlikely to ever make much more because she has no desire whatsoever to go into management or administration. All the same, when it comes to money, she was the best thing that has ever happened to me. She lives within her means, and has helped shame I mean encourage me into doing so myself. She's seen hardship so she saves instinctively, which means she always has money to invest now that I've taught her how. She supports me like nobody I've ever known or been with. In sum total, she's everything I could hope for in a partner for pursuing the FIRE dream.

When DW finished grad school, I was emphatic about not running out to get the first shit job that presented itself, even though she was ready to do so as part of the team. I wanted her to do her degree justice, and I wanted her to be happy in the long run. I figured the money would come. Given a few months to look for better options, she still ended up waiting tables just to make sure she'd bring something home. Soon after, she was a full-blown professional with a title and business cards. Most importantly, all the way along, we both treated each other with trust and respect, and both did our part for the household. And now we're getting rich together. If I'd been hung up on numbers, we'd have missed out on all of this.
« Last Edit: November 05, 2015, 01:10:04 PM by zephyr911 »

okits

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Re: She needs to make at least $70K
« Reply #8 on: November 05, 2015, 01:25:12 PM »
I think I don't like it because it indicates an inflexible and kind of controlling mindset. He has already made a bunch of very specific decisions about his future life will be, and imagined a very specific person in his head, and is now trying to order the model he wants from the internets. It's not treating potential partners as autonomous people who will have their own opinions. It's trying to shoehorn a living breathing person into his life he's designed independently, instead of cooperatively building a life together.

Yeah, this.

One's "must haves" need to be a short list and absolutely critical.  Mine are: decent, responsible human being who loves me and will stand by me and our family even when times are tough.  Human beings are not custom-ordered from a factory; you will not get every thing you could possibly want in one person.  "Must earn at least $70k pa" seems ridiculously shallow.

Josiecat

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Re: She needs to make at least $70K
« Reply #9 on: November 05, 2015, 01:50:20 PM »
Hey, I have a $100K + salary.  Men can be goldiggers too. I'm not looking for a man that I have to support financially.  He should be able to pull his own weight.  He doesn't have to make what I do, but have a good job.

honeybbq

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Re: She needs to make at least $70K
« Reply #10 on: November 05, 2015, 01:53:17 PM »
I don't like the phrasing of that at all and I would definitely pass on that; and I make well over that amount.

I'd prefer someone looking for an "independent" person or "settled into their career" or "stable job" or something along those lines. Or just state in the profile that the person is thrifty and would love to live off of one salary and save the second. I think an intelligent, financially oriented person would be able to read between the lines.

Schaefer Light

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Re: She needs to make at least $70K
« Reply #11 on: November 05, 2015, 02:05:37 PM »
If my wife made $70k, I'd quit my job ;).

zephyr911

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Re: She needs to make at least $70K
« Reply #12 on: November 05, 2015, 02:09:46 PM »
If my wife made $70k, I'd quit my job ;).
Seriously, if DW had stuck to her initial claim that she was gonna work FT indefinitely, I was close to incorporating her into my FIRE plan. But after a whole year in the grind, she realizes it's probably not gonna stay fun like it was, and she wants the flexibility of a phased withdrawal too.

Back to stashing I go ;)

okits

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Re: She needs to make at least $70K
« Reply #13 on: November 05, 2015, 02:12:08 PM »
If my wife made $70k, I'd quit my job ;).

When I was earning at least that I did offer my DH (numerous times) the option to be a SAHP once we had kids.  He declined, but the opportunity was there.  :)

Murse

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Re: She needs to make at least $70K
« Reply #14 on: November 05, 2015, 02:14:40 PM »
Lol, as a male mustachian I applaud his thoughts. I would feel differently if it was "I need her to make as much as me so she can spend her own money" but he is saying "I need her to make 70k so that we can save it." He is not being selfish or greedy, he has goals and that is great. Now, do I think including this on an online profile is a smart move for finding a mate? No, but having high standards isn't a bad thing.

frugaliknowit

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Re: She needs to make at least $70K
« Reply #15 on: November 05, 2015, 02:17:17 PM »
1.  People lie about age and income on-line.
2.  Even then, the criterion is too limiting.  There are certain compatibilities that need to be discovered over time (it's called dating).

sheepstache

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Re: She needs to make at least $70K
« Reply #16 on: November 05, 2015, 02:29:33 PM »
If she applied the same rules to her friends, I wouldn't be one of them.

Well to be fair, she doesn't have joint finances with friends. She doesn't have to buy a house with friends. A partner's financial situation matters a lot more to one's life.

I'd prefer someone looking for an "independent" person or "settled into their career" or "stable job" or something along those lines. Or just state in the profile that the person is thrifty and would love to live off of one salary and save the second. I think an intelligent, financially oriented person would be able to read between the lines.

I agree. I think the wording could be more effective, and those are probably more descriptive of what he's actually looking for.

I mean, I think it's a shame that looking for a partner with a certain income gets labeled as gold-digging, because some people want a certain lifestyle and income might be an easy way to define it. Similarly, a lot of people want to be part of a "power couple" like a doctor and a lawyer, or something. They want to live in a high-class suburb and send the kids to private school. It's fine for people to want whatever they want.  There's no magic of "compatibility" that triumphs over absolutely all disparate goals. People who want to be overseas missionaries put that in their profile, nevermind that it might put some people off.

Obviously there's the danger of trying to "shoehorn" potential partners into a role, as someone else mentioned, but that's an extreme version where someone has a lot of specifications and for some reason with certain specifications (income, hair color, etc.), we react as though we're assuming it's an extreme version when there may be no evidence of that.

zephyr911

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Re: She needs to make at least $70K
« Reply #17 on: November 05, 2015, 02:31:18 PM »
Lol, as a male mustachian I applaud his thoughts. I would feel differently if it was "I need her to make as much as me so she can spend her own money" but he is saying "I need her to make 70k so that we can save it." He is not being selfish or greedy, he has goals and that is great. Now, do I think including this on an online profile is a smart move for finding a mate? No, but having high standards isn't a bad thing.
Yeah, there are worse reasons for doing it, but it still comes off as douchey.

I'd so much rather see someone say they prefer an equal partnership based on trust, mutual respect, hard work, and living below your means. Within a normal lifetime, partners go in and out of school, people take unpaid internships that lead to high salaries, etc.

Even considering what he's trying to accomplish, this will chase off a significant percentage of legitimate prospects.
« Last Edit: November 05, 2015, 02:33:26 PM by zephyr911 »

bridget

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Re: She needs to make at least $70K
« Reply #18 on: November 05, 2015, 03:02:52 PM »
Lol, as a male mustachian I applaud his thoughts. I would feel differently if it was "I need her to make as much as me so she can spend her own money" but he is saying "I need her to make 70k so that we can save it." He is not being selfish or greedy, he has goals and that is great. Now, do I think including this on an online profile is a smart move for finding a mate? No, but having high standards isn't a bad thing.

I think the problem is that currently, those goals are for *someone else's money.* Sure, after they establish a relationship they may eventually adjust to a "what's mine is ours" mentality, but part of my negative reaction would be because he appears to already have plans for my entire income. The fact that they are worthy or non-greedy plans is irrelevant at that point. It feels like an incredible overreach into someone else's life, at a time when he has no standing to have that kind of opinion.

He will get MUCH farther by saying he wants a partner who is a hard worker, has a frugal lifestyle, and is interested in FIRE. Because those are positive traits, people who fit them will feel good about themselves and excited about meeting him when they read it. "Must make $70k so I can bank that much every year while I support you on my income" will make them feel like just a tool to be used for someone else's life plan. 

zinethstache

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Re: She needs to make at least $70K
« Reply #19 on: November 05, 2015, 03:52:07 PM »
He might miss the love of his life who is already FIREd and living on a fixed income with a HUGE stash that she can SHARE... I'm just sayin!

La Bibliotecaria Feroz

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Re: She needs to make at least $70K
« Reply #20 on: November 05, 2015, 04:42:08 PM »
A frugal teacher or librarian would be a better fit for his FIRE goals than someone with a large salary who is used to blowing it all on handbags and iPhones. Sure, if he could find a lady lawyer driving a 2004 Civic, he'd be all set, but I agree that he is both limiting himself unnecessarily AND making himself sound like an ass.

11ducks

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Re: She needs to make at least $70K
« Reply #21 on: November 05, 2015, 05:21:47 PM »
Lol, as a male mustachian I applaud his thoughts. I would feel differently if it was "I need her to make as much as me so she can spend her own money" but he is saying "I need her to make 70k so that we can save it." He is not being selfish or greedy, he has goals and that is great. Now, do I think including this on an online profile is a smart move for finding a mate? No, but having high standards isn't a bad thing.

I think the problem is that currently, those goals are for *someone else's money.* Sure, after they establish a relationship they may eventually adjust to a "what's mine is ours" mentality, but part of my negative reaction would be because he appears to already have plans for my entire income. The fact that they are worthy or non-greedy plans is irrelevant at that point. It feels like an incredible overreach into someone else's life, at a time when he has no standing to have that kind of opinion.

He will get MUCH farther by saying he wants a partner who is a hard worker, has a frugal lifestyle, and is interested in FIRE. Because those are positive traits, people who fit them will feel good about themselves and excited about meeting him when they read it. "Must make $70k so I can bank that much every year while I support you on my income" will make them feel like just a tool to be used for someone else's life plan.

I think you hit the nail on the head. He is superimposing his values on another person. That person may be frugal but choose to use some/all of their money for donating, study, supporting family, travelling, or other ways that they value.


MrsPete

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Re: She needs to make at least $70K
« Reply #22 on: November 05, 2015, 06:31:08 PM »
First reaction:  This guy's a jerk and only cares about money.
Second reaction:  No, he's frugal and wants to find a spouse who operates in the same way. 

However, the way he's saying this is a BIG turn-off, and I don't think he'd find even one woman who would react positively to it.  He'd be better off to say that he is frugal and wants to meet women who are also aggressive savers interested in making early retirement a priority.  After all, that's the bottom line -- the number only determines how fast he can accomplish this goal. 

stlbrah

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Re: She needs to make at least $70K
« Reply #23 on: November 05, 2015, 06:43:05 PM »
lol, he will need to anticipate a lot of 30+ year olds if that is the case. Not that that is a bad thing, but how many 25 year olds actually make 70k.

iris lily

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Re: She needs to make at least $70K
« Reply #24 on: November 05, 2015, 06:45:19 PM »
If the dude hasn't figured out that it's not about how much you make, it's about how much you keep, he's not Mustachean material and I would reject him.

Trudie

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Re: She needs to make at least $70K
« Reply #25 on: November 05, 2015, 06:49:32 PM »
This person sounds annoyingly one-dimensional.  I think it's perfectly reasonable to hope to find someone with similar values about money with respect to saving, spending, and investing.  And I think it's even reasonable -- although not necessary -- to be with a partner who could make a "living wage" independently.  People define that differently, but I even think of lower paying professions (teaching, human services) as being "living wages" if people can bring home some benefits.  Others may agree that as a unit they can accomplish more if one person manages the home and finances and doesn't work outside the home.

But perhaps what bothers me the most about this is that he's talking about "HIS" goals.  For a partnership to be successful goals have to be shared.  And there are usually a few different ways to a goal.  Maybe he'll find his match and maybe he'll be completely up front.  But what happens if Mr. 70K gets derailed or his partner does through layoffs, health, whatever?  If you're serving money all the time and not the other aspects of your life it can be pretty bleak.

When my brother-in-law married my sister-in-law it was his second marriage.  And while I'll never really know his first wife or what happened, he complained a lot that he "worked" and she didn't.  (Yeah buddy, she was only at home raising your four kids and doing daycare on the side to pay some bills.)  I would say that "Mr 70K" and my brother-in-law are probably alike in some ways.


AlmostDone

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Re: She needs to make at least $70K
« Reply #26 on: November 05, 2015, 06:53:47 PM »
If the dude hasn't figured out that it's not about how much you make, it's about how much you keep, he's not Mustachean material and I would reject him.

This.

And if I'm doing some financial screening, give me the 700 credit score 40k over the 400 credit score 70k any day.  You ain't changing nobody so its great to be with someone who has their financial priorities in order, the money follows.

LouLou

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Re: She needs to make at least $70K
« Reply #27 on: November 05, 2015, 08:35:35 PM »
I do make significantly more than $70k, and I think the general idea of living off of one income and saving the other is an excellent idea. I also think it's very important to avoid dating financially irresponsible people and to find someone who is compatible with you in terms of your approach to finances.

But if I saw his profile, I would be incredibly turned off.

I think I don't like it because it indicates an inflexible and kind of controlling mindset. He has already made a bunch of very specific decisions about his future life will be, and imagined a very specific person in his head, and is now trying to order the model he wants from the internets. It's not treating potential partners as autonomous people who will have their own opinions. It's trying to shoehorn a living breathing person into his life he's designed independently, instead of cooperatively building a life together.

This is my issue exactly!  This was also my number one problem back when I was still single.

Kroaler

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Re: She needs to make at least $70K
« Reply #28 on: November 06, 2015, 06:51:20 AM »
I say its great that he has standards and goals,  but they probably shouldn't be listed like that in his profile.  Perhaps worded differently it wouldn't be as bad,  but a flat out salary limit is pretty silly.   

He could really limit himself out of a lovely frugal lady who could make his 70k and her 40k go a lot further than two 70k salaries. 

       

The_path_less_taken

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Re: She needs to make at least $70K
« Reply #29 on: November 06, 2015, 06:57:34 AM »
I do make significantly more than $70k, and I think the general idea of living off of one income and saving the other is an excellent idea. I also think it's very important to avoid dating financially irresponsible people and to find someone who is compatible with you in terms of your approach to finances.

But if I saw his profile, I would be incredibly turned off.

I think I don't like it because it indicates an inflexible and kind of controlling mindset. He has already made a bunch of very specific decisions about his future life will be, and imagined a very specific person in his head, and is now trying to order the model he wants from the internets. It's not treating potential partners as autonomous people who will have their own opinions. It's trying to shoehorn a living breathing person into his life he's designed independently, instead of cooperatively building a life together.


Extremely well said.

Schaefer Light

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Re: She needs to make at least $70K
« Reply #30 on: November 06, 2015, 07:14:19 AM »
If my wife made $70k, I'd quit my job ;).

When I was earning at least that I did offer my DH (numerous times) the option to be a SAHP once we had kids.  He declined, but the opportunity was there.  :)
I just want the opportunity to play golf every day instead of sitting in my office.

EconDiva

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Re: She needs to make at least $70K
« Reply #31 on: November 06, 2015, 07:47:34 AM »
I say its great that he has standards and goals,  but they probably shouldn't be listed like that in his profile.  Perhaps worded differently it wouldn't be as bad,  but a flat out salary limit is pretty silly.   

He could really limit himself out of a lovely frugal lady who could make his 70k and her 40k go a lot further than two 70k salaries. 

     

Just as any FYI he makes more than 70K.

Davids

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Re: She needs to make at least $70K
« Reply #32 on: November 06, 2015, 08:21:06 AM »
I have no beef with it. The dude is being honest and upfront about what he is looking for.

Mike

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Re: She needs to make at least $70K
« Reply #33 on: November 06, 2015, 09:26:57 AM »
I don't begrudge anyone who establishes up front what they are looking for on their profiles.

However, once you start throwing in requirements that dramatically shrink the pool of prospective mates, you have to ask yourself just how valuable those requirements are.  In the case of income, not only are you eliminating a bunch of people by setting that $70,000 / yr threshold (IIRC, something like 80% of people in the US make less than that), but you are also probably offending and / or pissing off some portion of those who *do* make that much.

I should also point out that this requirement would eliminate anyone currently making little to nothing but with potential to earn a lot down the road (such as people in med school).

Cpa Cat

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Re: She needs to make at least $70K
« Reply #34 on: November 06, 2015, 09:47:55 AM »
I like a man with a financial plan.

But at the same time, something rubs me the wrong way about it. Geez, we haven't even met yet, and he's already planning our financial life together!

He could really limit himself out of a lovely frugal lady who could make his 70k and her 40k go a lot further than two 70k salaries.         

I also agree with Kroaler. A lot of people who make $70k spend $70k (or more!) each year. What's the point of a salary cutoff when really what you want is someone who's a saver?

The truth is that most people who have salary cutoffs for potential mates have them because they want to live a lofty lifestyle. Very few people are looking for high-earning spouses because they want to save all their money! I think putting the salary cutoff in there probably would attract the wrong sort of women for his plan.

zephyr911

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Re: She needs to make at least $70K
« Reply #35 on: November 06, 2015, 10:51:13 AM »
I have no beef with it. The dude is being honest and upfront about what he is looking for.
And what we're saying is, his approach makes it unlikely that he'll find what he's looking for.

Chrissy

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Re: She needs to make at least $70K
« Reply #36 on: November 07, 2015, 12:18:02 AM »
Eh!  Everybody has expectations, it's just that some are more acceptable to state than others.  My husband and I met online.  We both FILTERED for income requirements (as well as age, prior marriages, children, education, race, religion, etc.), but we didn't state those requirements in our profiles.  It worked out great for us!

Hey It's Me

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Re: She needs to make at least $70K
« Reply #37 on: November 07, 2015, 03:54:25 PM »
As a man, if a woman has an income requirement on her profile I'm going to assume she is a gold digger. I'm assuming most people (men and women) would see it the same way.

rmendpara

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Re: She needs to make at least $70K
« Reply #38 on: November 07, 2015, 04:39:22 PM »
What's the issue? Most (all?) online dating sites have all sorts of criteria you can put into your filters... height, body type, education level, income, etc. Some may seem shallow, but isn't it best to be completely honest? Doesn't online dating solve that issue?

Say you meet someone on a blind date, and you aren't attracted to them, should you apologize and force yourself to pretend anyway? Of course not! Now obviously income may not be a deciding factor for everyone... but money issues are a big contributor to spousal relationships, so is it not logical he would state his preferences on that front?


Hey It's Me

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Re: She needs to make at least $70K
« Reply #39 on: November 08, 2015, 07:58:58 AM »
Say you meet someone on a blind date, and you aren't attracted to them, should you apologize and force yourself to pretend anyway? Of course not! Now obviously income may not be a deciding factor for everyone... but money issues are a big contributor to spousal relationships, so is it not logical he would state his preferences on that front?

Yes, he has a right to his preferences, but like most things it's the delivery that matters. To extend your example, if you're on a blind date and find out the date is unattractive, you're not obligated to continue seeing the woman but you you react is a pretty clear indication of what type of person you are. If you're obnoxious about it and call it out and walk out on the date, then you're an asshole. If you have a civil meal and end it there (even if you let him/her know gently that there probably won't be a second date), you're in the clear.

End result is the same in both cases, but there is finesse to how you approach a social situation. In his case, he should just filter by income, rather than obnoxiously calling it out in his profile.

In both of the above scenarios, taking the wrong approach makes him less attractive even to those who fit his criteria. Who wants to date a guy who doesn't know how to behave himself socially?
« Last Edit: November 08, 2015, 08:01:08 AM by Ad_Man_Mustache »

davef

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Re: She needs to make at least $70K
« Reply #40 on: December 08, 2015, 04:10:30 PM »
Perhaps saying "must be economically, self sufficient" would weed out the jobless, talentless, and overspending rabble without sounding to harsh.

Bajadoc

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Re: She needs to make at least $70K
« Reply #41 on: December 08, 2015, 04:52:25 PM »
He is looking for someone who thinks like him. Everybody does that.

Samala

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Re: She needs to make at least $70K
« Reply #42 on: December 08, 2015, 04:53:49 PM »
Hey, we all have our deal breakers.  However..

You know the crazy/hot scale for women?  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uN_sSXKbzHk

It's the picky/hot scale for men.  He wants to be picky about potential female partners, no problem, but he better be pretty high on the hot scale and bring some things to the table too.  Luckily women usually don't restrict "hot" ratings to physical attributes only.  Although, being a muscled Adonis sure helps. 




formerlydivorcedmom

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Re: She needs to make at least $70K
« Reply #43 on: December 09, 2015, 12:51:09 PM »
When I did online dating, I didn't include my salary or a salary requirement in the profile.  I wanted a partner who was economically self-sufficient and shared my fiscal viewpoint.

That means I also needed to be self-sufficient.  It isn't fair to say that my plans depend on $X contribution from someone else.  What if that person gets sick and can't work?

I had my retirement savings journey mapped out.  Then I got married - an auto tech who made a flat $32k per year with no benefits.  He is very mustachian.  I had to convince him that a) it was okay to marry a woman who makes more than 3x your salary and b) I could become more frugal.  We saved his whole salary and more of mine than I had been saving previously.

Now my retirement savings journey is a lot shorter!  That's a bonus.   The real prize is the man.

The_path_less_taken

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Re: She needs to make at least $70K
« Reply #44 on: December 09, 2015, 01:28:15 PM »
Where's my update?

What kinda response has your friend gotten, OPm and how happy has putting that line into the profile made him?

(curious)

TheAnonOne

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Re: She needs to make at least $70K
« Reply #45 on: December 09, 2015, 01:36:22 PM »
lol, he will need to anticipate a lot of 30+ year olds if that is the case. Not that that is a bad thing, but how many 25 year olds actually make 70k.

Enough, and I know quite a few of them... I myself make quite a bit more than that and am exactly 25.

dcozad999

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Re: She needs to make at least $70K
« Reply #46 on: December 09, 2015, 02:08:19 PM »
Depends on where you live. $70k is a great salary in my neck of the woods. Very few 25 year-olds make $70k here.

In NYC, probably a ton.

DollarBill

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Re: She needs to make at least $70K
« Reply #47 on: December 10, 2015, 03:02:53 PM »
I would like to hear more ways to describe our views on a profile. Some of them are decent but would send most people running for the hills without thinking about the true picture...but I guess some of us want that to happen to weed out the spenders lol.

Since I'm already FIRE'd it would be nice to meet someone who makes a living wage and somewhat frugal. She can save all her money so she can join me after she's FI. I already have enough for a future SO but my requirement is that she needs to have skin in the game. One would think that this would be easy to find but most of the people I meet don't have a clue when it comes to finances or they think I'm broke...lol.

rugger

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Re: She needs to make at least $70K
« Reply #48 on: December 10, 2015, 07:33:16 PM »
Op, I think that your friend lacks creativity and he is unmotivating.  There are ways to filter other than being a direct ass.  For instance, he could say this instead:

Quote
I am seeking someone that is successful and financially independent.  I'd like to think that my partner will be interested in sharing and meeting financial goals with me.

He might also like a freak in the sack, but instead of asking for that he might say "I'm interested in meeting a lady that enjoys life, is creative and passionate in everything that she does."


RetirementDreaming

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Re: She needs to make at least $70K
« Reply #49 on: December 10, 2015, 08:00:51 PM »
I had a friend that would only date men that earned at least 100k a year.  This was 1998 at the time.  She explained to me that her dad passed away when she was young (9).  Her mom and her had always struggled financially.  She felt like it would prevent her from struggling should something happen later down the road.  She was firm on requirement.  Of course, she didn't really consider he could earn 100k a year and send it all and then some.  She 31 at the time.  She make over 100k.  At the time I only made 28k. 100k seemed like a fortune.