I currently have a 2000 Nissan Altima, which has been super reliable for us. But, my wife and I recently had a baby girl and we're getting paranoid with safety.
Congratulations! Both on having a car older than average and on having a daughter!
I've read up on things like ESP, ABS, crumple zones and the strength of steel in cars tripling over the past decade. I'm not interested in the newest, safest car out there, but I'm looking for the most cost-effective car that has these modern safety features.
Get a Mazda 3. Common as hell, not awful on fuel, pretty darn good crash ratings. You should be able to find one of the SkyActiv models for not an insane amount of money.
Get a decent car seat, and put it in the center of the rear row (the side is more convenient, the center is safer).
And then rejigger your life so you're driving her around a lot less, because "unsafe * 0 miles" is safer than "super-duper-ultra-amazingballz-safe * 100,000 miles."
I know MMM has a car-buying guide, but because my primary concern is no longer cost, depreciation and reliability, but rather safety (with those other three factors still being very important, just not as important), I'm trying to find some resource that has a list tuned towards what I'm looking for.
And now the rant.
Decide what you want to do with how you raise your kid, and live consistently. There is more to life than "being safe" - and, I'd argue, many things of value in life are not "super-safe."
My wife & I ride motorcycles. We have an almost-2-year-old daughter, and our most recent vehicle purchase was a motorcycle with a sidecar so that she can ride with us sooner. Turns out, nobody has any laws, whatsoever, about kids in sidecars - and she
loves riding in it. Is it the safest thing on the planet? Hell no. Do we think it's worth it? Absolutely. We've made the decision that we're willing to make "less-safe" decisions for things we value, and things she likes, because we're both of the opinion that there is more to life than raw safety, and you miss a ton of things that way. And, to make it worse, I fly small airplanes and intend to take my daughter up this summer. My main concern is figuring out some way to get her high enough up so she can see out.
Would I replace a 2000 Nissan because I had a kid? No. Put her in the center of the back in a good car seat, don't drive drunk, take a defensive driving class, autocross the car so you know the limits, and stop worrying about it.
And, man to man, if this is your wife's obsession, get a newer car you can justify as being "safe." It's worth it. If it's your obsession? Focus on solid defensive driving and stop worrying that much about it. You'll drive different with your kid in the car. I do. I'm quite confident I've not bounced off the rev limiter
once with my wife or daughter in the car, but I sure know where it is, and think the tach is a lying sack for implying the engine can do 8k RPM.
And, assuming Ballard refers to the Seattle area, you're super-safe. Nobody can get through the traffic fast enough to have a serious accident there. I don't miss that area even one bit.