clifp, I hardly know how to respond. In fact, I think I am done responding directly to you; it seems, by your last response, that you have not actually read 75% of what I wrote. Instead, you have re-stated your position on a topic, and are now simply ranting about something that was never suggested. I'm sorry the discussion has gotten to this point. While I have tried to be as specific as possible, you have gone more and more into a general case.
For anyone else still reading, my suggestions to the OP are about getting some coaching; not at all about getting someone to run his father's money. This can be helpful, and in fact is similar to services that many FI bloggers offer themselves--an hourly-rate or one-time-fee consultation. But the Certified Financial Planner (CFP) designation does two things: it does mean they have been through a comprehensive set of courses on money topics, and it sets a fiduciary commitment for their clients. While this is no guarantee this is the right person for you, it is the highest standard available, and is a starting point to finding the right person for you. Furthermore, the Garrett Planning Network is an association of CFP's, built on the concept of fee-only planning. This removes the conflict of interest of being paid through sales commissions.
While my personal experience in this matter doesn't exactly line up with the OP's case, I will outline it and hope you see the parallels:
Just before my son was born, I decided to get a check-up on my financial plan. While I was quite confident planning for my wife and I, as we have openly discussed our goals, strategies, and current state often over the years of our marriage, this was a new twist. I had certainly studied a lot of information as we prepared for his arrival--not just financially, but in many aspects of how a baby changes your life. But, with all my studying, the weight of having this new person, whom I already cared deeply for, completely dependent on me was, I admit, a little scary. So, I went about my search for someone to help.
I did quickly filter out a lot of people I did *not* want to help: I wasn't interested in an ongoing relationship, and I was already wise to passive investing; both of which ruled out any kind of fee based on percent of assets. I stumbled upon the Garrett Financial Network for two reasons: they were a network of CFP's, and to belong as a member, you had to be fee-only. (note: this is not an ad for Garrett; there are a number of members whose fees *are* on a percent-of-assets basis. However, this was a smaller pool to search through)
I eventually found someone I thought would work. For an $800 fee, we would go through a comprehensive financial planning exercise, including budgeting, insurance coverage, investing, yes, education and home financing, etc. But it started with a free, initial discussion about my goals. This is the important part. In this discussion, we set the direction I wanted to go. I could also ask questions to be comfortable that this person could help me with areas I was most unsure about, and would not get hung up on certain decisions and perspectives I had, like passive investing. After that initial meeting, I was comfortable with the person, and we went forward with the process. He had a comprehensive questionnaire that supplemented my financial statements, took a few weeks to look through everything and follow up with some specific questions, after which we sat down for a few hours to review the plan. He answered every question I had, and made some useful suggestions.
In the end, though, what I came away with was confidence in my plan going forward under the new condition of having a child. And, now that we knew each other, I could come back to him for specific questions on an hourly basis, or go again through the comprehensive process for 1/2 cost, since he already had a level of knowledge of my situation.
Does everyone need this thorough process? No. I didn't, until someone else depended on me. But it is available, and it is not a rip-off. This process is similar to hiring a lawyer or CPA for their specialties; when your situation goes beyond the standard advice, or simply is more complex than you can be confident in handling, there is objective help available.
This is what resonated with me based on the OP's situation. It has nothing to do with "financial helpers." There was no ongoing fee basis, nor even access to my accounts. What I got was a plan that I could execute, with confidence.
@des999 , I wish you luck in this challenging situation, however you decide to proceed.