Author Topic: Respectfully dealing with close family who isn't the least bit frugal.  (Read 2042 times)

Mr.Macinstache

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I have one brother and he is a spender. My nephews b-day is on Sunday and they are having a buffet lunch out. We don't normally go out to eat due to costs and the fact we just don't eat that sort of food, but I don't want to miss celebrating my nephews day. How do you say you can't make it in a situation like that?

Louisville

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Re: Respectfully dealing with close family who isn't the least bit frugal.
« Reply #1 on: January 02, 2014, 10:09:52 AM »
If it's not something that happens constantly, just go ahead and go. Is an occasional trip to the dark side really that unbearable a thing? Also, get some time maybe later with nephew to celebreate Macinstache style to set a contrasting example.

Random Hangers

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Re: Respectfully dealing with close family who isn't the least bit frugal.
« Reply #2 on: January 02, 2014, 10:12:34 AM »
Can you stop by before or after to drop off his present or gift him a homemade cake, or wish him well? Facetime with family is important, but not at the expense of doing something you're uncomfortable with. In my experience, if you don't make it clear where you stand with regard to these sort of celebrations at the outset, you'll be setting yourself up for increasingly more expensive outings later. :-(

CommonCents

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Re: Respectfully dealing with close family who isn't the least bit frugal.
« Reply #3 on: January 02, 2014, 10:13:21 AM »
You either suck it up and go if it's infrequent, you decline the invitation (and explain or not as you choose - but know your nephew may not understand) or you suggest alternative plans.  For example, you offer to host a potluck at your house next year.

Greg

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Re: Respectfully dealing with close family who isn't the least bit frugal.
« Reply #4 on: January 02, 2014, 10:34:57 AM »
Another option might be to attend but not join in the meal.  This may be unusual depending on the restaurant.  Also, shifts the discomfort to the "host."

This is assuming that your brother isn't buying of course.

Maybe have a beverage, but eat prior.  Then you can participate in the celebration, but not in the expensive and non-preferred diet.  It's similar to eating out with friends but not ordering a beverage besides water, which is how the bill really adds up sometimes.

This also helps you avoid the biggest pitfall of buffets, which is overeating.