Author Topic: Request: Your Thoughts on Guilt About Lifestyle Flexibility  (Read 5189 times)

SteveJ2

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 2
Request: Your Thoughts on Guilt About Lifestyle Flexibility
« on: November 25, 2015, 07:25:42 PM »
Using principles from MMM as well as the 4HWW, I have rearranged my work so that I can work roughly from 8AM to 1 PM, mostly from home. In the afternoon, I nap, exercise, do other work if I feel like it, and do basic life management things. My job is good work that I believe contributes to a meaningful cause. It's not a total early retirement, but in many ways reflects a large degree of freedom and I am happy with this arrangement, especially as my work allows me great leeway to do things I find meaning in.

That being said, I feel guilty, as if I should be busier. When I rest, I feel lazy, even though I recognize this means I am recharging batteries to make a push later if need be, and also serves as time to incubate bigger ideas. I worry others will be resentful in the future if this arrangement is more publicized among coworkers, who work more and experience more work stress but achieve less. I previously have worked an average of 70 hours/week and don't want to do that forever - to a degree I have earned some of my stripes and have worked hard to achieve my current arrangement. No one has called me out on working less, but it remains in the back of my head that this could be a future problem.

I recognize that this guilt is pretty irrational - my productivity is strong. I figure many of you have been in a similar position and I wanted to see what your perspectives are on this scenario. Thanks!

Little Nell

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 91
Re: Request: Your Thoughts on Guilt About Lifestyle Flexibility
« Reply #1 on: November 25, 2015, 10:07:04 PM »
Busy is not a virtue.

Bracken_Joy

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 8927
  • Location: Oregon
Re: Request: Your Thoughts on Guilt About Lifestyle Flexibility
« Reply #2 on: November 25, 2015, 10:20:16 PM »
http://www.slowyourhome.com/

Good luck bucking society's paradigms and finding your own instead =)

zolotiyeruki

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 5603
  • Location: State: Denial
Re: Request: Your Thoughts on Guilt About Lifestyle Flexibility
« Reply #3 on: November 25, 2015, 11:17:27 PM »
Busy is not a virtue.
Bingo.  And it's not just work either.  You gotta evaluate whether each of your activities are helping you achieve your life goals, whether that be time to relax, or work contributions, or the betterment of society.

2ndTimer

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 4607
Re: Request: Your Thoughts on Guilt About Lifestyle Flexibility
« Reply #4 on: November 26, 2015, 09:25:28 AM »
Don't have any guilt.  Why should I?

Exflyboy

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 8398
  • Age: 62
  • Location: Corvallis, Oregon
  • Expat Brit living in the New World..:)
Re: Request: Your Thoughts on Guilt About Lifestyle Flexibility
« Reply #5 on: November 26, 2015, 10:43:14 AM »
Hey I don't work at all unless I want to.. or the Wife gives me chores more like.

I worked HARD to get here.. Why the F should I feel the slightest bit of guilt after 30 years of working and saving. The fact that everybody else around me bought monster trucks on credit and house they can't afford has NOTHING to do with me.

That was their lifestyle choice, saving and investing was mine and I make no apologies for it.

Of course I recognize I was blessed with a lot of advantages (good health, large brain etc) and I give to charity to help others who are less fortunate.

Beyond that?.. No guilt whatsoever.

Capsu78

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 765
  • Location: Chicagoland
Re: Request: Your Thoughts on Guilt About Lifestyle Flexibility
« Reply #6 on: November 26, 2015, 10:59:34 AM »
My only mandatory "busy" that involves guilt is figuring out how to get my 10,000 steps in today...  stepping away from the computer is a good start.

Cecil

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 301
  • Age: 39
  • Location: Vancouver, Canada
Re: Request: Your Thoughts on Guilt About Lifestyle Flexibility
« Reply #7 on: November 26, 2015, 11:41:38 AM »
There's a great, recent article by Living a FI about this: http://livingafi.com/2015/11/06/done-detoxing/

little_brown_dog

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 912
Re: Request: Your Thoughts on Guilt About Lifestyle Flexibility
« Reply #8 on: November 27, 2015, 11:00:39 AM »
before i became a sahm, i went part time for health reasons. resentment among full-time coworkers/family/friends indicates an issue within themselves/their lives and has nothing to do with you. you shouldn't be worried about envy in others just because you have the ability to create a life that works for you and makes you happy. i often receive snarky comments about the fact that i don't work...like "how NICE for you" with an eye roll or obviously sarcastic tone. my reply? a sincere "yes, it is wonderful" with a genuine smile.

SteveJ2

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 2
Re: Request: Your Thoughts on Guilt About Lifestyle Flexibility
« Reply #9 on: November 28, 2015, 07:39:46 PM »
I wanted to thank each of you for the real life examples, advice, and article links - they have helped give me insight into types of thinking on this issue and has been of great help to me.

lifejoy

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 3928
  • Age: 35
  • Location: Canada, eh
  • Lovin' the Mustachian life!
    • Not Buying This
Re: Request: Your Thoughts on Guilt About Lifestyle Flexibility
« Reply #10 on: November 29, 2015, 08:29:39 AM »

There's a great, recent article by Living a FI about this: http://livingafi.com/2015/11/06/done-detoxing/

+1


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

hybrid

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1688
  • Age: 57
  • Location: Richmond, Virginia
  • A hybrid of MMM and thoughtful consumer.
Re: Request: Your Thoughts on Guilt About Lifestyle Flexibility
« Reply #11 on: November 29, 2015, 11:07:10 AM »
before i became a sahm, i went part time for health reasons. resentment among full-time coworkers/family/friends indicates an issue within themselves/their lives and has nothing to do with you. you shouldn't be worried about envy in others just because you have the ability to create a life that works for you and makes you happy. i often receive snarky comments about the fact that i don't work...like "how NICE for you" with an eye roll or obviously sarcastic tone. my reply? a sincere "yes, it is wonderful" with a genuine smile.

I have a coworker that has a flex schedule. Sometimes when I need her, I need her, and she is sometimes not working like the rest of us. So while I don't begrudge her arrangement, I do get where people aren't always thrilled with the part time employee. She deals with the guilt issue some.

I think that is just part of the trade-off.