Based just on the description provided, I see very few, if any, advantages in moving to take a new position, in exchange for a much higher cost of living, lower savings rate, losing your wife's job and family in the process, and worse quality of life as described (traffic, etc.). The only potential advantage stated (higher salary) is not even known. You could find "new roles and opportunities anywhere doing anything, so I don't consider that an advantage. While flattering and probably deserved in your case, being named a "high potential employee" with the added condition that you'll relocate should be viewed with a healthy degree of skepticism (i.e., possible flattery and promise of vague "opportunity" to get you to move).
If you're feeling at all like your current position is a dead end, then I would instead look for a 3rd option: Moving somewhere you WOULD want to move to, that would increase your employment prospects, quality of life, savings rate, etc. That is, consider employment opportunities elsewhere not tied to your current employer that give you all the things you want, with little or none of the things you don't want. Like my buddy always told me about extra job offers: Even if you don't need another job offer or opportunity, it's always better to have them than not. It just acts as leverage with your current employer.
