Did you post about your relationship before under a different account? If that was you: please don't get together again.
+1. The story and the voice sound very, very familiar. So if that is you: no, under no circumstances should you get together again. You were relatively miserable for several years; remember that, and don't just put on the rose-colored glasses and idealize what you had.
Whether that was you or not: if you could not imagine someone better to have kids with, you need a better imagination. The best partner to have kids with is someone who thinks
you are awesome and who is as dedicated to your relationship as you are. She wasn't.
It hurts, yes. But you need to stop the chats with her -- for
you, not her. She dumped you, not the other way around, so now you are looking for a sign -- any sign -- that she has decided that was a mistake and wants you back again. That traps you back in the cycle with her, and your mental state means you are going to be seeing things that aren't there. And if she's not a good person (which, if you're the earlier poster, she's not), then she may very well take advantage of that and string you along, because it makes her feel good to still have you doting on her, even after she's dumped you. There is nothing that will grind down your self-confidence and joy in life than being jerked around like a puppy on a leash by someone who doesn't really value you like she should.*
So please, cut off all contact. Accept that it's over, and
act like it. Cry. Curl up in your apartment. Go out to a bar and get raging drunk. Go find a new hobby. Read some really good books. Talk to a therapist. It doesn't matter what you do to heal and move on; it just matters that you take that first step.
I'm sorry, and good luck.
*FWIW, this is probably what she meant by you needing to love yourself more, even though it's a crappy time and place to say it. Most people -- well, most emotionally healthy people -- don't like dating people that will let them get away with anything. Having someone's happiness depend on you is exhausting, and knowing that you are all that to someone else is a shit-ton of pressure. Often in that dynamic, the person who is feeling overwhelmed will do something mean or offputting as a way to find the other's boundaries -- in other words, they actually
want the other person to draw a line, to say no, I will not put up with that. Because that's what an emotionally healthy person does: they respect themselves too much to allow themselves to be repeatedly used and taken advantage of. So in a weird way, the more you bend over backwards to please someone else, the more you may just be turning off the other person. Most people don't want extremes in either direction -- they don't want someone who will put themselves first all the time, but they also don't want someone who will ignore their own needs and cater to their partner's every whim. Tl;dr: A healthy relationship requires give
and take. The way to get that starts with being emotionally healthy yourself and drawing reasonable boundaries.