Hey Working Mama,
It's good to hear you are taking energic steps towards your debt- you sound determined and resourceful.
Now if you are not going to share the numbers, the spreadsheet wizards of this forum can only give you general advice. Which is completely fine, mind you, not pointing the finger here.
The high interest CCs: yup, they are bleeding you dry. Judging from you post I take it you are in your late twenties/early thirties, with a kid who is probably not willing to eat nothing but cold beans for the next 6 months. But damn sister, assuming a conservative 13% APR on your 35k CC debt, what you pay in interest every month is more than I (single, early twenties) spend monthly on groceries + internet + car operation (includes gas, insurance, maintenance).
Unless your housing market is guaranteed to go waaaaaay up in the coming months, hold the refi and pay those bloodsuckers off. If you have savings, even with some low interest, put them to use immediately and enjoy your <insert_CC_APR> % return on your money.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but it sounds like you are saying the sacrifices of 8 years of supporting your husband through school haven't quite paid off in terms of income. Does he have other employment options? What about you?
But don't take my word for it. Fire up a spreadsheet, and run the numbers. If you are not scientifically inclined, have your husband's 8 years of engineering school put to good use. Hint: pay off the high interest stuff off first. You will find that Mustachians find great pleasure in playing the system and finding unexpected sources of income/savings virtually every day. When you run the scenarios, go wild. Experiment with 'radical' solutions, like renting out a room of your house to a friend or local student, selling things, etc. The answer might be just around the corner. And then let us know! This forum is filled with stories of people who dug themselves in a hole in a previous life and overcame their shabby finances. You are not alone.
Best of luck to you,
Paul