Recruiter contacted me: what to do?

[ysette9]

Background: I am about to finish up my maternity leave with my second baby who, just like her older sister, hasn’t a clue how to sleep at night. She is waking me up 6-10 times a night, an average night being about 8 times. We are finishing up some home remodeling work that I thought I could do myself but am being told I should really consider hiring out, since trying to get anything done in the one hour windows between the baby’s naps is not a really efficient way of taking care of business. I am set to return to a company I have worked my entire career for but am looking for a new role as my old one has run its course. I have applied internally for a position I am interested in and believe I have a good chance of getting. I should know by the second week of January how that pans out.

Question: Meantime I was randomly contacted by a recruiter at a big tech firm.
We had a conversation and I was straightforward with the person about my strengths and what I would be looking for, as well as saying I wasn’t looking but am open to considering other opportunities. The recruiter sent me some job descriptions to consider and said he would pass my resume around to another department, adding that he thought I would be a good fit.

Il flattered and curious but pretty sure there is no way they could pry me away from my current company. I am frustrated by some things and believe i could get Better Lau and benefits elsewhere. On the other hand my company has been very good about developing my career, having supportive mentors, and I have a strong reputation that is paying me dividends now. Also we have good work/life balance which is very important to me with my current family life. Big tech company is known for working people hard and would likely be a worse commute, though they offer a commuter bus which may or may not stop in my area.

This is all leading up to my question: how far should I take this out of curiosity? What would you do in my shoes?

[seattlecyclone]

I don't think you would have posted this if you weren't at least a little bit interested in the big company. No harm in going in for an interview, meeting the people, and seeing whether it might be a good fit. If they happen to make you an offer you can't refuse, great! If not, it sounds like you're pretty happy with your current situation.

[Hargrove]

A lot of people feel anxiety and obligation going for the interview out of interest instead of need. But you're interviewing them, too, because you can't otherwise answer the questions you have.

Today, you get a raise by switching jobs. People interview all the time out of interest and curiosity. The first interview or offer is often about knowing your worth in the market, and your value as a poachable asset.

You won't interview well if you're ridden with guilt over it, but the question is really just whether it's worth the time invested to you to see what the market could be paying you.

You should take this as far as you could use the info. If you want to take care of your current employer, I would advise discussing with them before a 2nd interview, or insisting on a month's notice if you took another job, but you definitely should not let loyalty cap your market value at your current pay. Your job isn't your BFF, it's business, and few employees enjoy so much hand-wringing before a layoff.

[ysette9]

You both bring up good points. I am certainly approaching this as curiosity and from a sense of, for lack of a better word, entitlement. I feel I am valuable to my current employer and if this new place can also think that I am awesome then they can woo me. If it isn’t a good fit then I haven’t lost anything.

More practically though this isn’t a good time in my life to be interviewing or switching jobs. Maybe if I weren’t nursing or if the baby weren’t making me a sleep-deprived zombie. But oh well. Opportunities never seem to time themselves well.

[Syonyk]

Il flattered and curious but pretty sure there is no way they could pry me away from my current company.

Then there's no harm in going through the process, maybe getting to see their main campus, eat some free food, and have a low stress interview because you don't care about the outcome. :)

I interview far better if I'm there for fun instead of because I need the job.  And... if it's the company you somewhat imply, their interview process is awesome.  Best I've been through in terms of me leaving feeling that they got a good feel for the depths of my knowledge and that I'd been able to represent my knowledge well.

Big tech company is known for working people hard and would likely be a worse commute, though they offer a commuter bus which may or may not stop in my area.

Can't help you with Bay Area commute.  That just sounds awful all around.

However, again, if I think it's who you're talking about, I would make sure to distinguish between "hours spent at work" and "hours spent working."  There's a large disconnect, and if you were fresh out of college, living in a cardboard box of an apartment, and had a work campus that was basically a college campus with unlimited funds, where would you spend your time?  It doesn't mean people are working, but they may be "at work" 80+h/wk.  Playing a board game in the evening after you hit the gym isn't exactly work, though.

This is all leading up to my question: how far should I take this out of curiosity? What would you do in my shoes?

Pull the string.  There's no downside.  Options are:
- You don't get through the interview process/don't get an offer.  No change, except a bit of time spent working on interesting interview questions.
- You get an offer, decide not to take it because your current position is better, and can brag about having turned down an offer from whoever.
- You get an offer, your eyeballs do a cartoon bulge double take, and you say, "Yeah, you know, that's worth taking."

The only real downside is a day or two of interviews (phone/onsite), which I find fun anyway.

[ysette9]

You are right about there not being any downside. I usually don’t mind interviewing so much so long as they don’t try to grill me about something I don’t know anything about.

As for time at work, the new college grad me may have agreed with you. The parent of two young kiddos me isn’t interested in spending a minute extra at work. I’m willing to work hard while I am there,  it once the clock hits 16:00, I have more pressing priorities.

[Syonyk]

You are right about there not being any downside. I usually don’t mind interviewing so much so long as they don’t try to grill me about something I don’t know anything about.

A good interview, once you hit the "I don't know this..." point, will move onto other topics.  The goal should be to find the limits of your knowledge.

As for time at work, the new college grad me may have agreed with you. The parent of two young kiddos me isn’t interested in spending a minute extra at work. I’m willing to work hard while I am there,  it once the clock hits 16:00, I have more pressing priorities.

Right, my point being, "Just because a lot of people spend a lot of time there doesn't mean it's required."  If you want to go home, great.  At least, that's the case at some of the companies.

[ysette9]

We are still a few short years away from our FIRE number so my mindset has been nose to the grindstone for the time being, with the idea that once we hit the number I could look at crazy jobs just for the hell of it. Maybe I should tap that devil-may-care attitude now. :) It is relatively easy at work now for me to leave when it is time for me to pick my kid up from daycare. People respect that and others do the same. It might be harder in a different work environment, but then someone needs to stand up and push back for there to be cultural change, right? Who better to do that than someone who doesn’t need the job? I can’t wait to be in that position. :)

[Gronnie]

It sounds like you feel a bit guilty about looking. Remember that your company wouldn't hesitate to "downsize" you today if they felt it was advantageous to them.

[mm1970]

You both bring up good points. I am certainly approaching this as curiosity and from a sense of, for lack of a better word, entitlement. I feel I am valuable to my current employer and if this new place can also think that I am awesome then they can woo me. If it isn’t a good fit then I haven’t lost anything.

More practically though this isn’t a good time in my life to be interviewing or switching jobs. Maybe if I weren’t nursing or if the baby weren’t making me a sleep-deprived zombie. But oh well. Opportunities never seem to time themselves well.

Very good points made here.  For me, having an infant to age 18 months - was just not a time for me to make any changes.  I barely tread water.  I wouldn't have even bothered to interview anywhere.  But to be honest, interviewing cannot hurt.  As others said, you are interviewing them too.

In the end, work/life balance is extremely important to me.  I'm in tech but in SB.  Many friends in the Bay Area.  The pace up there is so much higher than here - reminds me a lot of living in DC with go go go type A kind of schedules and competition.  My friends asked me how we make do without a nanny, and we said "one of us works 7:30 to 4:30 and the other works 9 to 6, except if we have to leave early for a kid thing, then we do."  It was completely foreign to them to have that much flexibility.  They get it when necessary (in between nannies) but it is not a regular thing for them.  At all.

[ysette9]

We offset our working hours like that as well so that one can do daycare drop off and the other pickup. It helps that my current company has an early start culture and often collaborated with people on the east coast.