Author Topic: Really want to just call it quits  (Read 3883 times)

Giro

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 603
Really want to just call it quits
« on: October 06, 2015, 08:59:36 AM »
The last few weeks have been miserable at work.  Today, I am trying really hard to just put my head down and work.  I want to just call it quits. 

I know I should feel thankful for my position.  It's easy, low stress, high paying and relatively short-ISH hours.  Why am I not insanely happy?  I know I have it good compared to so many other folks, why am I miserable at work?

I'm getting a bonus this week so I'm really looking forward to that.  My husband wants me to work another 3-4 years so we can buy anything we could ever want?  That is just not appealing at all to me. 

I have one year left on my current contract, so I'm seriously considering changing my FIRE date to November 2016.  I have no reason to stay.  But, I know I'll find something else and probably sign up for another 2 + year contract. 

How do you convince your spouse that you don't want anything except to retire? 


Retired To Win

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1494
  • Age: 71
  • Location: Virginia
  • making the most of my time and my money
    • Retired To Win
Re: Really want to just call it quits
« Reply #1 on: October 06, 2015, 09:12:41 AM »
The last few weeks have been miserable at work.  Today, I am trying really hard to just put my head down and work.  I want to just call it quits...  My husband wants me to work another 3-4 years so we can buy anything we could ever want?  That is just not appealing at all to me. 

I have one year left on my current contract, so I'm seriously considering changing my FIRE date to November 2016.  I have no reason to stay.  But, I know I'll find something else and probably sign up for another 2 + year contract. 

How do you convince your spouse that you don't want anything except to retire?

It sounds like you and your spouse together already have enough of a stash to FIRE, except that he wants more so than he can "... buy anything we could ever want."  If that's the scenario, I would look your spouse straight in the eye, tell him YOU don't need to have that kind of money and that he should feel free to keep working until he does have it (which could be never).  But you are done.

Good luck.

MonkeyJenga

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 8189
  • Location: Don't Ask
  • Resting up for 2020
Re: Really want to just call it quits
« Reply #2 on: October 06, 2015, 10:20:35 AM »
Why am I not insanely happy?

Wild guess: because it's still a JOB. Because it restricts your freedom during a large chunk of your waking hours, even though it seems like you already have enough money to retire. Because you're dreaming about having complete control of your time, and the only thing stopping you is... your husband?

So quit.

Your husband is free to work if he wants to buy more things.

bobechs

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1068
Re: Really want to just call it quits
« Reply #3 on: October 06, 2015, 10:28:35 AM »
I'll make you a deal: 

Give me your job and you can have all my things.

Howzaboutit?

AZDude

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1298
Re: Really want to just call it quits
« Reply #4 on: October 06, 2015, 11:46:13 AM »
If the math works, and you are safe to FIRE, then do it. Chances are pretty good that you can find a way to make money later if you want/need it.

Giro

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 603
Re: Really want to just call it quits
« Reply #5 on: October 06, 2015, 12:36:46 PM »
Yea, I'm pretty close to just doing it.  I will finish this contract out and save most of my money. 

I'm sure I'll feel guilty about not working while he is chugging away, but he can leave any time.  We could live on just his military check so he's going to work just for nothing. 


Easye418

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 469
Re: Really want to just call it quits
« Reply #6 on: October 06, 2015, 12:37:58 PM »
The last few weeks have been miserable at work.  Today, I am trying really hard to just put my head down and work.  I want to just call it quits. 

I know I should feel thankful for my position.  It's easy, low stress, high paying and relatively short-ISH hours.  Why am I not insanely happy?  I know I have it good compared to so many other folks, why am I miserable at work?

I'm getting a bonus this week so I'm really looking forward to that.  My husband wants me to work another 3-4 years so we can buy anything we could ever want?  That is just not appealing at all to me. 

I have one year left on my current contract, so I'm seriously considering changing my FIRE date to November 2016.  I have no reason to stay.  But, I know I'll find something else and probably sign up for another 2 + year contract. 

How do you convince your spouse that you don't want anything except to retire?

Might be the devil's advocate here..... suck it up, compromise to meet both of your goals.  It seems like you work in a nerf ball , cushy atmosphere and are just fed up with going into work.

Kaspian

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1536
  • Location: Canada
    • My Necronomicon of Badassity
Re: Really want to just call it quits
« Reply #7 on: October 06, 2015, 12:56:01 PM »
Why am I not insanely happy?

Wild guess: because it's still a JOB. Because it restricts your freedom during a large chunk of your waking hours, even though it seems like you already have enough money to retire. Because you're dreaming about having complete control of your ...

^^ This!  The human mind is a weird thing.  For years I wanted a motorcycle (a Triumph, specifically).  I'd get almost physically ill when I saw cool people out driving them around and I wasn't.  So, I went and did a course, got my learner's permit, looked at a few in the stores and then...  I didn't want one anymore.  Weird, right?  The fact that I could just hop on one and drive it out the store lot, made the heat come off myself.

okits

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 8678
  • Location: Canada
Re: Really want to just call it quits
« Reply #8 on: October 06, 2015, 01:14:52 PM »
I think I've been happiest at work when I had a meaningful goal or purpose I was fulfilling, and busy. Good pay, low stress, and short hours sound great but I've always felt best doing something I felt passion* for, even if the hours were long, pay mediocre, or environment stressful.

I think you should pull the trigger, you are FI already.

*Of course, that passion inevitably dies because every job has its share of bullshit and nonsense people.

Trudie

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1653
Re: Really want to just call it quits
« Reply #9 on: October 06, 2015, 01:15:21 PM »
You're not alone in this.  I'm having a similar week.  I had a meeting with our retirement advisor (free - TIAA-CREF) last week and he reinforced what I'd already determined... that I could FIRE in 5 years.  I felt great for a couple days.  Today it was just the same old **** and I wonder how I'm going to last.

I don't think you should ignore what you're feeling, but let it blow over a bit and discuss it with your SO when you aren't in the thick of it.

By definition, work is hard, tiring, and restrictive.  It's normal not to do cartwheels in and out of work.

Trudie

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1653
Re: Really want to just call it quits
« Reply #10 on: October 06, 2015, 01:22:52 PM »
I think I've been happiest at work when I had a meaningful goal or purpose I was fulfilling, and busy. Good pay, low stress, and short hours sound great but I've always felt best doing something I felt passion* for, even if the hours were long, pay mediocre, or environment stressful.

I think you should pull the trigger, you are FI already.

*Of course, that passion inevitably dies because every job has its share of bullshit and nonsense people.

Of course, if quitting is not an option I would agree that it's important to find a passion -- even if it's outside work.  I, for instance, took up distance running.  My favorite t-shirt says it all:  "I run because it's better than punching people."


"Of course, that passion inevitably dies because every job has its share of bullshit and nonsense people."  -- This is poetry.  And it's true.

I also experienced an adjustment when I accepted that my job was never going to provide esteem or the pats on my back that I wanted.   I look for them elsewhere.  I still get tired of it, but recognizing this helps me cope.  I am not being abused at work.  It's not soul-crushing all the time.  Even though my boss would never say it, I know that my leaving would not be "business as usual" for the company.  But I'm soaking up the generous health insurance and 401K match.  Golden handcuffs?  Perhaps. But, I always try to remember this verse from "Use Me" by Bill Withers:

Talking about you using me
But it all depends on what you do
It ain't too bad the way you're using me
'Cause I sure am using you to do the things you do




Noahjoe

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 64
Re: Really want to just call it quits
« Reply #11 on: October 06, 2015, 01:47:31 PM »
Things are just things, and enough should be enough.

I sometimes wonder if I'll be pulling the plug too early because I'm leaving millions of hypothetical dollars on the table. But I'll be done when my son's only 10 and daughter's 8. When I'm chatting with Pete (the other Pete) at the pearly gates, do you think I'd regret  missing time with my kids, or having missed out on owning a fancy boat?

I choose my kids, my family, and my freedom.