I’ve uncovered I’m never going to be an a CEO or Olympic athlete. I’m never going to be a Hollywood actor, famous painter, inventor or scientist.
I'm 27 years old, in a standard role at my work earning 50k before tax. I’m in a relationship with my partner and we plan to do the standard get married have children and work to save and invest for retirement.
I feel a bit stuck. When I was in my teens and early 20’s at university, I used to be a bit naive and think I would do “something great” with my life. I read autobiographies of famous people doing amazing things and then compare them to my life which seems to just be bumbling along.
I’m having a quarter life crisis almost.
Anyone else been in the same position? How did you deal with it? What did you do?
Hm. Well, I have a couple of decades on you (turning 45 soon). All my career I've done whatever I wanted - learn new things, advance, get promoted...until a couple of years ago, when I hit the glass ceiling.
Wow, that was painful. At one point then, I had to make a decision. If I wanted to move up, REALLY move up, I'd have to fight tooth and nail for it - and fight against some pretty big prejudices and pre-conceived notions and just general thoughts on where women do and don't belong.
Boy, a younger me would have stormed the castle, so to speak.
I realized, though, that if I did that - there was still no guarantee that I'd get anywhere in the male engineering establishment. And it would take a lot of time, and effort, and pain, and suffering, and 60 hour work weeks. I had to make the specific decision to NOT do that. To drift along in my current job where I can spend time with my kids. Maybe I can move up later, when they are older and I'm 60. Oh wait, I'll be retired then.
It's not about being "great" or doing something awesome - it's - what do YOU want? What do you REALLY want? And know that there are always compromises to me made. Rarely do you achieve some definition of "greatness" without giving something up. Always a tradeoff.
It's still difficult, not gonna lie. I've seen men who can get promoted without having to do 60 hour weeks. But what is "great" anyway? Is it solely career/ work related? Does it matter if you make it to the top of the career ladder if your kids don't even know who you are?
Man, when I sit down and have these crazy conversations about WWII or the Japanese tsunami with my 9 year old, or when I have full conversations about squirrels with my toddler, or when I finally figure out how to program something at work (I am NOT a programmer!!), I get such pleasure. That is success to me.