That way you'll get a clearer picture of your cash flow and how much is taken up by the suv.. You can then work with your wife and get her to see how much of your money, after mortgages, this is costing you.
As for the loans, work etc - do you have a counselor you work with at the VA? some of them are very good and not just talk - they can point you in the direction of cheaper loans, suitable work etc etc. It might be worth a shot to reduce expenses / increase income.
If you also are using a tool like mint then you'll get a better idea of where all of your money is going and be able to find areas of waste there. Detail is king.
As far as my wife is concerned, she already knows all of this. I even showed her impact on our retirement MMM-style. She sees and knows how much it is costing us, but it's what she wants. She doesn't see the problem as we are living below our expenses. A little background - up until about 3 months ago, we were the typical consumerism family. What you see here is the result of us already making a change in lifestyle - one that she has yet to embrace. Right now, I have to look at the SUV as her holding on to those last bits of consumerism. As much as I hate paying for it, it may be an investment in her sanity. I think she feels like she
needs it in a world where everything is getting just a bit smaller. I will not give up on getting rid of it by any means, but I may have to accept this reality for a while just as she has to accept cutting back some as hers.
I tried Mint, I didn't particularly care for it. Felt too... reactive? I still have it and get their financial statements (there are features I like), but I still wanted something more proactive. YNAB fit my wife and I better. It's more geared toward making your money go where you want vs reacting to the money you already spent. Since getting it, my wife is finally an active participant in the budget. She has and manages her own budget within the program. I made her set it up where she gets to see how much of her checks are going to the SUV. She knows how much of the budget is spent on the truck, because she pays those bills with her money. However, her money also includes $600/mo from SSDI which essentially pays for the SUV completely. All other bills we share based on proportion of income. However, with the SUV, I put my foot down and told her that if she wanted it, she would have to pay for it completely. If we got something else, I would pay my share of the costs.
Some ideas to cut back on this category might be:
1) Join a wholesale club like Sam's Club, BJ's or Costco and buy expensive things like oil, meat, etc. in bulk. Since you have 5 mouths to feed, this is probably a worthwhile investment to save you from buying the same things every week.
2) Get your produce from a produce market. So many people go to mega-size grocery stores as a one-stop-shop, but produce there is usually a rip-off. Look for a produce-only market near you.
3) Shop at the cheapest grocery store. For example, where I live we have at least 6 options (ordered by least-to-most expensive): Bravo, Aldi, Winn Dixie, Publix, Whole Foods, The Fresh Market.
4) Shop at "ethnic" grocery stores. It is SO much cheaper to buy a big bag of rice at the asian supermarket than at my closest Winn-Dixie and it lasts all year. If you are new to "ethnic" stores, check out your area to see if there are Hispanic, Asian and/or Indian stores nearby. Sometimes the deals on produce are better at these stores, too.
5) Potluck! If you have friends or family nearby and some culinary skills to share (or develop ^,< like me) hold a potluck and encourage your attendees to bring their "world-famous" dishes to share. I always find that we have SO many leftovers after potlucks and no one wants to take home any. That means you get to eat amazing leftovers for several days after. Preparing a bit extra of what you were making anyways is a small price to pay for the deliciousness and selection of potluck food. Hint: if you want your potluck attendees to bring real food (ie. not a bag of potato chips or a box of cookies) tell them what you are planning on making when you invite them (Zucchini lasagna, anyone?) and ask them to let you know what they'll be bringing. If your friends are show-offs like mine, they'll do their best to cook up something to try to out-do you. ^,<
1. The nearest Sam's Club is two hours away. Are those savings that big that 4 hrs of highway gas (18 mpg) is worth it? If so, looks like a trip is in order.
2. No produce only stores around here. Living out in rural Kansas. However, my local Farmer's market is great in all seasons except the winter ones. In those months, I am relegated to grocery stores.
3. The only grocer on that list that I even recognize is Aldi. It is an hour away, and I find it's not cheap enough to be worth the trip. However, sometimes we will go and stock up as we have family near the store, so we hit it when we are in town anyway.
4. There are two ethnic stores about half an hour from where I live. They are both Korean markets (don't ask me why, because I have no idea). I didn't really check rice prices, etc. when I was in there as I was looking for Bulgogi ingredients. I will check next time I am there.
5. Potlucks are a wonderful idea! I am big into BBQing and that has lead to some of those. Usually I go cheap, as I can get pulled pork done for right about a $1/lb. That includes charcoal, seasonings, sauce, etc. This allows for tons of leftovers of everything else as well. Zucchini and whatnot would be even cheaper. Unfortunately, most of my friends are still back in the military and rural Kansas doesn't seem to offer much in the way of Mustachian compadres. But, I can usually get some family and a couple of friends out for a BBQ - I wonder if they would still come for a potluck.
You guys are awesome with all of your ideas! Just to give you a little info on my area: rural Kansas town. We have a grocery store (Heartland), a Dollar General, a gas station, and a wonderful butcher (if I need meat, this is where I go - far cheaper than even the grocery stores in the bigger towns). Last time I bought hamburger meat at this butcher shop, it was $2.75/lb and is higher quality than the stuff I get from the grocer at $3.50/lb. I did just recently read MMM's post about what groceries he buys, and I may be looking into buying more other stuff and less meat.
Good news, though, I sent my mom a link to a bicycle I want. I want to bike for health purposes, but may need to be able to get back from wherever I have biked to without physical strain due to disability. Enter the ebike. They are not available on Craigslist in my area, so I checked out Amazon and found a nice one with great reviews for $550 (includes shipping). If anyone is in the same situation, or just wants the link, let me know. I will post it here. Anyway, my mom was talking about getting it as a Christmas gift for me (she still insists on giving gifts, but doesn't get upset when she doesn't get one. Anyway, today I woke up and found an e-mail from Amazon saying that it is arriving next week! I will no longer have to walk anywhere anymore (unless I want to). I can't wait to pedal down the street on my bike (and probably look like a drug dealer while doing it as that's how they handle their business in this town).
babybug - I have been loaned money by them before and loaned them money as well. There is no harmony issues there, as my parents don't think of them as loans but more as gifts that they might get paid back on. Of course, I would always pay them back, especially when there's money coming into the bank from the rental with some left over for me. Even if there wasn't, we are living far enough below our means right now that we would be able to pay. However, I realize how risky debt is now that I am avoiding as much of it as I can. I cannot predict the future, therefore, I need to get out of any contracts as quickly as possible that say that I will pay money each month for an extended period of time. That is what I plan to do.