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Author Topic: Reader Case Study: Can We Have It All But Still Retire Early?  (Read 117281 times)

brewer12345

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Re: Reader Case Study: Can We Have It All But Still Retire Early?
« Reply #300 on: March 20, 2014, 10:36:36 PM »
My advice:

Use the country club or your 11 figure boss to your advantage these are things that, I imagine, very few people in our community have access to.  Get yourself a 10% raise (in addition to the extra money that is soon coming your way - I think that is what I gathered) either by hob-nobbing with your buddies at the CC or ask for better compensation at your current gig. 

THEN don't succumb to more lifestyle creep - bank every bit of the stuff that you earn on top of this.  Sounds like you are currently super happy at your current level of spending.  This would both be a lot easier than scaling down and would get you FIRE'd earlier.  So, sure it is possible to have what you currently have and still retire early, but the efforts you have suggested are baby steps - I hate to sound like a broken record for the community, but I envision that baby steps aren't gonna get you there on your timeline.

While the spending category won't be tackled (one of the pillars of what is preached here, and probably why the OP has been attacked), savings will be tackled with this method (which is prolly the most important piece of getting to retirement) - eh? =)

Because I know *everyone* has read the Simple Math post!!
Thanks fuzzhead1506

So refreshing to actually get a helpful comment instead of the sanctimonious holier than thou vitriol

I gather a suggestion that you save by hitting up the local goodwill for clothing wasn't what you wanted to hear?

Daisy

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Re: Reader Case Study: Can We Have It All But Still Retire Early?
« Reply #301 on: March 20, 2014, 10:38:50 PM »
This discussion has been an eye-opening exercise for me. Whether the OP is a troll or not is irrelevant to me. The lifestyle he/she is articulating seems so over-the-top and it is interesting to peer into this world of the super-rich Wall Street crowd.

What I take from this example is:

1. Some people in our society make an obscene amount of money. Of course, in our market-driven economy that is all fair and good. But I do question why someone in the financial industry should make so much money. It makes me want to rethink my relationship with certain financial institutions and where I am directing my hard-earned money to if it is funding these extravagant lifestyles. I guess this is why opting for lower-cost investment vehicles makes a lot of sense. I am voting with my money on which types of institutions/philosophies I am supporting. I don't mind business owners and people actually making stuff (ala Steve Jobs) making large amounts of money because in my mind they are contributing a lot to society and have made our world a better and more interesting place.

2. Some people get too invested in apparently doing the best for their children by sending them to pricey private schools for the wrong reasons. I work in technology alongside people from all types of universities. My brother also works in this field. He is sending his children to a pricey private school which he can barely afford so that his kids can go to an Ivy League university. I brought up the issue with him on how those we work with in our fields don't necessarily have these fancy Ivy League degrees and the pricey private school may not be necessary, especially since he seems to imply they can't really afford it. It's sad to me because his kids are very talented and would thrive almost anywhere, but he is surrounding them with peers that don't live the same lifestyle they do. My nephew mentioned this to me. I know my brother is doing this out of love for his children and wanting the best for them, but I still question the choices they make.
I think you will find the services of people who are making a tremendous amount of money in finance are not available to you anyway, so your exercise in trying to direct your business towards those 'most worthy' will be one of futility.

I think your brother is doing a commendable thing and, who knows, maybe all of the idiots doing the same, sacrificing to send their kids to 'pricey private schools', know something or have a different view than all of the geniuses who can decide what is best for others' kids.

I want a job where I make 7 figures, work only 50-60 hours a week including commute time, have enough time to raise (was it two or three?) kids and cook every night at home, take care of my ailing parent, spend my abundant amount of free time at a country club, and STILL have an abundant amount of time to post continously on a personal finance discussion forum.

What's your secret? No sleep?
« Last Edit: March 20, 2014, 10:46:18 PM by Daisy »

Cassie

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Re: Reader Case Study: Can We Have It All But Still Retire Early?
« Reply #302 on: March 20, 2014, 10:52:29 PM »
I think her secret is that she never spends any time with her kids. There are only so many hours in a day and many are spent here. Or perhaps she made all this BS up and is not who she pretends she is. After all it is the internet.  All I know is that when I was working F.T. & raising my kids I did not have all this time to spend with strangers.  It was hard enough sometimes to find the time to spend with real friends.

Cassie

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Re: Reader Case Study: Can We Have It All But Still Retire Early?
« Reply #303 on: March 20, 2014, 11:24:45 PM »
Since the East Coast is ahead of the West Coast and it is 10:30pm here you are obviously not with your kids.  Spend some real time with them instead of hiring the responsibility. 

dragoncar

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Re: Reader Case Study: Can We Have It All But Still Retire Early?
« Reply #304 on: March 20, 2014, 11:41:09 PM »
Since the East Coast is ahead of the West Coast and it is 10:30pm here you are obviously not with your kids.  Spend some real time with them instead of hiring the responsibility.

Shouldn't they be, like, asleep?

2527

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Re: Reader Case Study: Can We Have It All But Still Retire Early?
« Reply #305 on: March 21, 2014, 06:38:41 AM »
Some of what has been posted on this thread is just plain absurd and uncivil.

rocksinmyhead

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Re: Reader Case Study: Can We Have It All But Still Retire Early?
« Reply #306 on: March 21, 2014, 06:48:13 AM »
My advice:

Use the country club or your 11 figure boss to your advantage these are things that, I imagine, very few people in our community have access to.  Get yourself a 10% raise (in addition to the extra money that is soon coming your way - I think that is what I gathered) either by hob-nobbing with your buddies at the CC or ask for better compensation at your current gig. 

THEN don't succumb to more lifestyle creep - bank every bit of the stuff that you earn on top of this.  Sounds like you are currently super happy at your current level of spending.  This would both be a lot easier than scaling down and would get you FIRE'd earlier.  So, sure it is possible to have what you currently have and still retire early, but the efforts you have suggested are baby steps - I hate to sound like a broken record for the community, but I envision that baby steps aren't gonna get you there on your timeline.

While the spending category won't be tackled (one of the pillars of what is preached here, and probably why the OP has been attacked), savings will be tackled with this method (which is prolly the most important piece of getting to retirement) - eh? =)

Because I know *everyone* has read the Simple Math post!!
Thanks fuzzhead1506

So refreshing to actually get a helpful comment instead of the sanctimonious holier than thou vitriol

WE'RE holier than thou?!?!?! seriously, your condescension in posts like these:

I think you will find the services of people who are making a tremendous amount of money in finance are not available to you anyway, so your exercise in trying to direct your business towards those 'most worthy' will be one of futility.

is fucking nauseating. and you didn't need to be so sarcastic rude to Daisy in response to her comment about her brother. I don't think she was trying to be rude. I guess it's like Jay-Z says... "you can pay for school, but you can't buy class."

But in reality I am guessing this is a bit of an initial infatuation/love-affair that won't be sustainable - some of the superfluous replies are becoming predictable and my ability to tolerate the hater's comments is quickly growing

well, my ability to tolerate your nastiness is completely gone. see ya. I'm so glad I don't know anyone like you in real life (or at least anyone I have to spend time with).

cochranjd

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Re: Reader Case Study: Can We Have It All But Still Retire Early?
« Reply #307 on: March 21, 2014, 06:52:53 AM »
My advice:

Use the country club or your 11 figure boss to your advantage these are things that, I imagine, very few people in our community have access to.  Get yourself a 10% raise (in addition to the extra money that is soon coming your way - I think that is what I gathered) either by hob-nobbing with your buddies at the CC or ask for better compensation at your current gig. 

THEN don't succumb to more lifestyle creep - bank every bit of the stuff that you earn on top of this.  Sounds like you are currently super happy at your current level of spending.  This would both be a lot easier than scaling down and would get you FIRE'd earlier.  So, sure it is possible to have what you currently have and still retire early, but the efforts you have suggested are baby steps - I hate to sound like a broken record for the community, but I envision that baby steps aren't gonna get you there on your timeline.

While the spending category won't be tackled (one of the pillars of what is preached here, and probably why the OP has been attacked), savings will be tackled with this method (which is prolly the most important piece of getting to retirement) - eh? =)

Because I know *everyone* has read the Simple Math post!!
Thanks fuzzhead1506

So refreshing to actually get a helpful comment instead of the sanctimonious holier than thou vitriol

You only like it because it assumes there is truth to the insane notion that you can't cut your expenses enough to make a dent and are better off just chasing more money.
« Last Edit: March 21, 2014, 11:54:26 AM by cochranjd »

arebelspy

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Re: Reader Case Study: Can We Have It All But Still Retire Early?
« Reply #308 on: March 21, 2014, 07:32:26 AM »
A shame you don't get the reference to the classic

Oh?  What did I miss?  Enlighten me.
We are two former teachers who accumulated a bunch of real estate, retired at 29, spent some time traveling the world full time and are now settled with two kids.
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arebelspy

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Re: Reader Case Study: Can We Have It All But Still Retire Early?
« Reply #309 on: March 21, 2014, 07:52:28 AM »
A shame you don't get the reference to the classic

Oh?  What did I miss?  Enlighten me.
You missed the tete-a-tete re hunting squirrels and Carl Spackler hunting gophers, both on a golf course

What makes you think I missed that?
We are two former teachers who accumulated a bunch of real estate, retired at 29, spent some time traveling the world full time and are now settled with two kids.
If you want to know more about us, or how we did that, or see lots of pictures, this Business Insider profile tells our story pretty well.
We (rarely) blog at AdventuringAlong.com. Check out our Now page to see what we're up to currently.

brewer12345

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Re: Reader Case Study: Can We Have It All But Still Retire Early?
« Reply #310 on: March 21, 2014, 08:10:17 AM »
My advice:

Use the country club or your 11 figure boss to your advantage these are things that, I imagine, very few people in our community have access to.  Get yourself a 10% raise (in addition to the extra money that is soon coming your way - I think that is what I gathered) either by hob-nobbing with your buddies at the CC or ask for better compensation at your current gig. 

THEN don't succumb to more lifestyle creep - bank every bit of the stuff that you earn on top of this.  Sounds like you are currently super happy at your current level of spending.  This would both be a lot easier than scaling down and would get you FIRE'd earlier.  So, sure it is possible to have what you currently have and still retire early, but the efforts you have suggested are baby steps - I hate to sound like a broken record for the community, but I envision that baby steps aren't gonna get you there on your timeline.

While the spending category won't be tackled (one of the pillars of what is preached here, and probably why the OP has been attacked), savings will be tackled with this method (which is prolly the most important piece of getting to retirement) - eh? =)

Because I know *everyone* has read the Simple Math post!!
Thanks fuzzhead1506

So refreshing to actually get a helpful comment instead of the sanctimonious holier than thou vitriol

WE'RE holier than thou?!?!?! seriously, your condescension in posts like these:

I think you will find the services of people who are making a tremendous amount of money in finance are not available to you anyway, so your exercise in trying to direct your business towards those 'most worthy' will be one of futility.

is fucking nauseating. and you didn't need to be so sarcastic rude to Daisy in response to her comment about her brother. I don't think she was trying to be rude. I guess it's like Jay-Z says... "you can pay for school, but you can't buy class."

But in reality I am guessing this is a bit of an initial infatuation/love-affair that won't be sustainable - some of the superfluous replies are becoming predictable and my ability to tolerate the hater's comments is quickly growing

well, my ability to tolerate your nastiness is completely gone. see ya. I'm so glad I don't know anyone like you in real life (or at least anyone I have to spend time with).

I don't know if WF is who she says she is (this is the interwebs, I could be a 16 YO girl in my mom's basement and she could be an 80YO dude getting his kicks in the nursing home) and I don't care enough to try to find out.  But if she is who she says she is then the condescension comes quite naturally and honestly.  Consider: she is a member of the ruling class in 'Merica today.  She went to the right schools, hobnobs with the goobersmoochers (hell, she is a goobersmoocher), belongs to the right clubs, has the right job, lives in the right place, and makes many times the income of the average 'Merkin.  She is better than the hoi polloi, isn't it obvious?

What I cannot figure out is why she is here.  Frugality and getting out of the rat race does not come naturally to members of the ruling class, to say the least.  In the meantime, I would like to express my heartfelt appreciation that she and her confreres are carrying my share of the national debt on their backs.

arebelspy

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Re: Reader Case Study: Can We Have It All But Still Retire Early?
« Reply #311 on: March 21, 2014, 08:10:35 AM »
Your response which seemed to either miss the nuance or be completely irrelevant to what was being discussed and instead included some vague threat

lol.  I'm not sure how it can be viewed as a "vague threat," but it sounds like you need to go rewatch Caddyshack.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=fZx4-LSG-eI#t=41

That's the line we quote all the time "We could do that. We don't even have to have a reason." as it's much more applicable to pretty much any situation.

Apparently you missed the nuance.

Thanks for the laugh though.
We are two former teachers who accumulated a bunch of real estate, retired at 29, spent some time traveling the world full time and are now settled with two kids.
If you want to know more about us, or how we did that, or see lots of pictures, this Business Insider profile tells our story pretty well.
We (rarely) blog at AdventuringAlong.com. Check out our Now page to see what we're up to currently.

arebelspy

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Re: Reader Case Study: Can We Have It All But Still Retire Early?
« Reply #312 on: March 21, 2014, 08:15:27 AM »
Your response which seemed to either miss the nuance or be completely irrelevant to what was being discussed and instead included some vague threat

lol.  I'm not sure how it can be viewed as a "vague threat," but it sounds like you need to go rewatch Caddyshack.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=fZx4-LSG-eI#t=41

That's the line we quote all the time "We could do that. We don't even have to have a reason." as it's much more applicable to pretty much any situation.

Apparently you missed the nuance.

Thanks for the laugh though.
Ah yes, but we're not all Mods (which might dictate a higher standard of response), now are we?

I'm not even sure wtf this means?  Apparently it means you can berate me for missing a reference to a movie (which I didn't, I quoted the next applicable line), but I can't point out to you that it's from the same movie?

I'm a person.  The moderator hat comes on when people are breaking site rules, and I clearly designate when I'm talking as a moderator.

You still didn't explain how "We can do that, we don't even have to have a reason" is a threat at all?

Seriously, I'm scratching my head on this post.. wtf does it mean?
We are two former teachers who accumulated a bunch of real estate, retired at 29, spent some time traveling the world full time and are now settled with two kids.
If you want to know more about us, or how we did that, or see lots of pictures, this Business Insider profile tells our story pretty well.
We (rarely) blog at AdventuringAlong.com. Check out our Now page to see what we're up to currently.

happyfeet

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Re: Reader Case Study: Can We Have It All But Still Retire Early?
« Reply #313 on: March 21, 2014, 08:28:57 AM »
Wow. This thread has taken a turn.  So interesting to read WF take on life.  I think she was drinking a Pinot last night while posting. I do. Or maybe Merlot.  Not a BotaBox(our new fav).

WF, no matter how fabulous your job is - one thing you cannot take back is spending time with your kids.  Spending money on them does not replace spending time.  And they grow up so darn fast. No I don't know your situation but what I wrote is true. And you have the financial resources to do that - many don't.

The thing I have learned in my short time on this forum is what matters - not stuff, not vacations, not houses,not fabulous educations, not fancy dinners - it's pretty simple - family and friends and time to really enjoy those( and in our family faith).  The rat race we are on is a completely different sales job to what truly satisfies and it is so easy to buy into it all.  And quite freeing to realize you don't have too and it is actually pretty simple to step off. 

The people on this forum are a true wealth of knowledge if you want to learn and change.  If not, then this is not a good place for you.

I still can't figure out if you are real or not? Oh well.  You make for an interesting read.



arebelspy

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Re: Reader Case Study: Can We Have It All But Still Retire Early?
« Reply #314 on: March 21, 2014, 08:29:17 AM »
I must admit that I misread your initial response and didn't connect it to the movie until after I just sent that post and re-read what you actually wrote

My apologies

Ah, understood.  Thank you, no harm done.
We are two former teachers who accumulated a bunch of real estate, retired at 29, spent some time traveling the world full time and are now settled with two kids.
If you want to know more about us, or how we did that, or see lots of pictures, this Business Insider profile tells our story pretty well.
We (rarely) blog at AdventuringAlong.com. Check out our Now page to see what we're up to currently.

MrCash

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Re: Reader Case Study: Can We Have It All But Still Retire Early?
« Reply #315 on: March 21, 2014, 08:48:10 AM »
I must admit that I misread your initial response and didn't connect it to the movie until after I just sent that post and re-read what you actually wrote

My apologies

Ah, understood.  Thank you, no harm done.
You are gracious - and I am disappointed that I did not catch your classic reference initially (although reading and responding from iPhone is not always easy)

What we've got here is failure to communicate

warfreak2

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Re: Reader Case Study: Can We Have It All But Still Retire Early?
« Reply #316 on: March 21, 2014, 09:18:07 AM »
It must feel liberating to know you no longer have to use profanity and vulgar language to accuse others of nastiness and lack of class
This really isn't the right forum for getting on a high-horse about profanity.

brewer12345

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Re: Reader Case Study: Can We Have It All But Still Retire Early?
« Reply #317 on: March 21, 2014, 09:31:54 AM »
It must feel liberating to know you no longer have to use profanity and vulgar language to accuse others of nastiness and lack of class
This really isn't the right forum for getting on a high-horse about profanity.

I wondered if I was the only one to think this was an odd remark.

Fireman

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Re: Reader Case Study: Can We Have It All But Still Retire Early?
« Reply #318 on: March 21, 2014, 09:33:29 AM »
I must admit that I misread your initial response and didn't connect it to the movie until after I just sent that post and re-read what you actually wrote

My apologies

Ah, understood.  Thank you, no harm done.
You are gracious - and I am disappointed that I did not catch your classic reference initially (although reading and responding from iPhone is not always easy)

What we've got here is failure to communicate

Some [WestchesterFrugals] you just can't reach.

Mae80s

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Re: Reader Case Study: Can We Have It All But Still Retire Early?
« Reply #319 on: March 21, 2014, 09:44:28 AM »
well this has been an interesting read.  All of it.

To the OP, I went to grad school at an Ivy, granted I work in publishing, so I'm not rolling in the $$, but I understand the seduction of prestige and interesting, influential people.

I also did a whole lot of 'fucking off' and being away from the university->professional work treadmill until I got serious at age 28.
The one thing I learned from that time away was what mattered to me.

It wasn't status, it wasn't stuff, and it sure made me realize that I'm happiest when surrounded by people I like/love and doing something interesting.

In any case, I'm obviously different than you and have made different choices and priorities in life. However, if I was to be magically transported in your shoes, I know exactly what I would do:

1. Keep the high paying jobs and continue to live in the same area.
2. Downsize the house. Is it possible to stay within the same area (for your kids sake) but live in a neighborhood where people don't give a shit about how your lawn looks? That would cut back on a lot of your costs. Maybe this doesn't make much $$ sense.
3. I'd take the kids out of private school. Again, that's just me. If there's excellent public schools in the area, then what's the point?
4. I'd ditch the country club membership. If you're going to be FE in less than a decade, do you really need the value that these connections will bring professionally? As for the other reasons - friendships and recreation - you can easily get this for a fraction of the cost elsewhere.

I can appreciate how entrenched you are in that life style, so changing things drastically is easier said that done.

Good luck.
« Last Edit: March 21, 2014, 09:49:06 AM by Mae80s »

WageSlave

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Re: Reader Case Study: Can We Have It All But Still Retire Early?
« Reply #320 on: March 21, 2014, 11:45:50 AM »
WF, I posed these questions earlier, but you may have missed them... Genuine curiosity here...

We don' t typically work more than 50-60 hours a week (including commuting time) and spend plenty of time with the kids.

How much of that time is for the commute?  I work in the megabuck world of finance in Chicago, and 60 hour weeks are the norm, excluding commute time.  And based solely on hearsay, the hours are even longer in NYC.

In our industry your reputation is actually more important than your actual results.

How do you establish the reputation in the first place?

DoubleDown

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Re: Reader Case Study: Can We Have It All But Still Retire Early?
« Reply #321 on: March 21, 2014, 12:13:25 PM »
I nominate this thread as the #1 Sticky Thread in the "Antimustachian Wall of Shame and Comedy."

anisotropy

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Re: Reader Case Study: Can We Have It All But Still Retire Early?
« Reply #322 on: March 21, 2014, 12:54:15 PM »
lol this thread is heading towards a flame war. Granted WF is not "frugal" by mmm standards (might be frugal by wall-st standard, i dont know), but the odds seem pretty good that they can RE in 10 years while keeping their current life style mostly intact.

one poster mentioned about his fav whine, we had some grey monk pinot auxsomething last night, was pretty good.

DoubleDown

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Re: Reader Case Study: Can We Have It All But Still Retire Early?
« Reply #323 on: March 21, 2014, 12:59:27 PM »
There was no attempt to humiliate, sorry if it appeared that way. I'm glad you're here and sharing your story, and I hope you'll stay despite the blowback you're getting (including from me).

I imagine calling folks here sycophants doesn't do much to change some of the prevailing opinions being formed on your situation or interactions. On the one hand, I sense a lot of confidence and accomplishment, but also a curious fragility which I think maybe brought you here. And I'm not particularly gifted at emotions. Anyway, carry on, and forgive my attempts at humor that felt like they were coming at your expense!

bacchi

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Re: Reader Case Study: Can We Have It All But Still Retire Early?
« Reply #324 on: March 21, 2014, 01:06:58 PM »
but the odds seem pretty good that they can RE in 10 years while keeping their current life style mostly intact.

Wut? Their monthly outflow is north of $50,000. That requires $15MM, at minimum, and they're far from that.

Now, if they ER with lower expenses, as planned, they can do it but there's no way they can ER in 10 years and keep exactly the same lifestyle.


Fireman

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Re: Reader Case Study: Can We Have It All But Still Retire Early?
« Reply #325 on: March 21, 2014, 02:50:57 PM »
I nominate this thread as the #1 Sticky Thread in the "Antimustachian Wall of Shame and Comedy."
Maybe one day I can be a sycophant who conforms to the patterns of this (MMM) world and can be sure to only post comments and replies that would allow me to 'fit in'

HA!  That would be like hitting up a Honda forum and going on and on about your amazing Ferrari.  You would start by saying how you love your car and how awesome it is but that, well, maybe you'd be happy with a Mercedes instead.  Then they'd all tell you that Hondas are really swell and that you should consider one of those.  Then you'd say that, well, you really love your Ferrari and you might keep it.  After all, you have to impress your neighbors and whatnot.  Then they'd keep saying how good Hondas are, and you'd get mad that they aren't listening to you about your Ferrari anymore.  Then you'd get upset about how no one likes you and no one understands you and no one agrees with you and then you'd start insulting the members of the Honda forum, and one by one, you'd ostracize them to the point of not caring.

I'm not suggesting you aren't welcome here, but don't come to a forum about being frugal and then get upset when everyone on the forum suggests you try being frugal.

+1 though, because I had to look up sycophant.

Elaine

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Re: Reader Case Study: Can We Have It All But Still Retire Early?
« Reply #326 on: March 21, 2014, 03:05:58 PM »
I nominate this thread as the #1 Sticky Thread in the "Antimustachian Wall of Shame and Comedy."
Maybe one day I can be a sycophant who conforms to the patterns of this (MMM) world and can be sure to only post comments and replies that would allow me to 'fit in'

HA!  That would be like hitting up a Honda forum and going on and on about your amazing Ferrari.  You would start by saying how you love your car and how awesome it is but that, well, maybe you'd be happy with a Mercedes instead.  Then they'd all tell you that Hondas are really swell and that you should consider one of those.  Then you'd say that, well, you really love your Ferrari and you might keep it.  After all, you have to impress your neighbors and whatnot.  Then they'd keep saying how good Hondas are, and you'd get mad that they aren't listening to you about your Ferrari anymore.  Then you'd get upset about how no one likes you and no one understands you and no one agrees with you and then you'd start insulting the members of the Honda forum, and one by one, you'd ostracize them to the point of not caring.

I'm not suggesting you aren't welcome here, but don't come to a forum about being frugal and then get upset when everyone on the forum suggests you try being frugal.

+1 though, because I had to look up sycophant.

Yes, the purpose of your presence here is...unclear. This is a forum that helps people from all walks of life become more frugal to achieve their goals. You continually claim to be face blindingly happy with your current situation. So...I'm not sure what you are looking for. Some of us have indeed "conformed to the patterns of this (MMM) world", because it works for us. You make more in a month than I make in a year. So you're right, you don't have to cut your food budget, buy used cars, or worry about tracking how much you spend at the pharmacy each month. Good for you. I DO have to do those things, and frankly your flippant tone is obnoxious.

The kind advice from the people in this forum has given me the knowledge and tools to save over 50% of my income and ensure an early retirement. I have learned about investing and taxes, and I've also made some pretty cool friends. I don't begrudge you for your income level- there are many high earners on this site, the difference is that they don't seem to look down their nose at everyone the way that you do.

2527

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Re: Reader Case Study: Can We Have It All But Still Retire Early?
« Reply #327 on: March 21, 2014, 07:11:34 PM »
I think this has been a really interesting discussion and give and take.  The original poster is apparently seeking to engage in a discussion, and see what changes she can make.  She has a prestigious education, high paying job, and a high net worth.  She isn't entering into the discussion from a position of extreme weakness or dissatisfaction.  Does anybody really expect her to receive advice and immediately say, "Yes, thank you, I'll implement everything immediately." ????

A friend of mine had a heart attack and immediately became vegan.  I have some unsatisfactory health, but I'm not having a heart attack, or near one, as far as I know.  My path to vegan is much more gradual. 

Let's all give each other a break.  People who think and live and act exactly like me are the most boring people in the world.

iris lily

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Re: Reader Case Study: Can We Have It All But Still Retire Early?
« Reply #328 on: March 21, 2014, 09:10:59 PM »
It must feel liberating to know you no longer have to use profanity and vulgar language to accuse others of nastiness and lack of class
This really isn't the right forum for getting on a high-horse about profanity.

Yes! Praise Jesus. I love me a good F---U!

horsepoor

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Re: Reader Case Study: Can We Have It All But Still Retire Early?
« Reply #329 on: March 21, 2014, 10:10:14 PM »
I think this has been a really interesting discussion and give and take.  The original poster is apparently seeking to engage in a discussion, and see what changes she can make.  She has a prestigious education, high paying job, and a high net worth.  She isn't entering into the discussion from a position of extreme weakness or dissatisfaction.  Does anybody really expect her to receive advice and immediately say, "Yes, thank you, I'll implement everything immediately." ????

A friend of mine had a heart attack and immediately became vegan.  I have some unsatisfactory health, but I'm not having a heart attack, or near one, as far as I know.  My path to vegan is much more gradual. 

Let's all give each other a break.  People who think and live and act exactly like me are the most boring people in the world.

No.  I think the objection comes more from the statements about how much more fabulously interesting and worth knowing Ivy-educated, high-earning country club members are than the unwashed middle class state-schoolers.  The OP wants her children to be "rubbing shoulders" with other connected children at elite schools, and the elitist attitude tends to set people's teeth on edge.  This has been an interesting thread, and I've come away feeling glad that I don't need to maintain any particular membership or image to meet interesting people or do things I enjoy.

T-Rex

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Re: Reader Case Study: Can We Have It All But Still Retire Early?
« Reply #330 on: March 22, 2014, 02:31:57 PM »
I will be sure to visit this thread whenever I need to throw up.

someguy

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Re: Reader Case Study: Can We Have It All But Still Retire Early?
« Reply #331 on: March 22, 2014, 07:46:23 PM »
This guy is a real piece of work.  His condescension and aggressiveness is so exhausting to read that I gave up after two pages.  He's just here to brag about his lifestyle.  I'm an Ivy grad and very few people behave like this.

Edit:  appears OP is a woman.  adjust gender pronouns above
« Last Edit: March 22, 2014, 07:51:14 PM by someguy »

Stachebound

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Re: Reader Case Study: Can We Have It All But Still Retire Early?
« Reply #332 on: March 23, 2014, 12:59:27 AM »
What would happen if one or both of you had to stop working?

My observation is that you are very enmeshed in the lifestyle and it would take something extreme to make a real change.

I wish for you and your family to have the peace of mind of not always having to do more or keep up. You are used to that pressure, but it's there nonetheless and will always be for your kids.

Maybe think more about the WHY before figuring out the HOW details.

Good luck!

SnackDog

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Re: Reader Case Study: Can We Have It All But Still Retire Early?
« Reply #333 on: March 23, 2014, 02:17:39 AM »
I don't have time to read all these posts, but as far as I can see you haven't been saving at all.  You have a grand total of $250K invested, which is a quarter of your annual salary and not even enough for a six month emergency fund at your current spending level.  (401Ks are automatic and subject to withdrawal rules. I don't count deferred compensation or home equity until it is monetized and invested.)  I suggest you cut your spending and get saving.  If you want to retire at your current spending rate of $1MM/yr, you will need $25MM.  I think you are going to be working a long time! 

PeteD01

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Re: Reader Case Study: Can We Have It All But Still Retire Early?
« Reply #334 on: March 23, 2014, 07:46:37 AM »
Right now you seem to value cultivating fake friendships, keeping up appearances to those fake friends (and yes they're fake because you said yourself they would leave as soon as you stop spending) and that is pretty much your life.  You mention very little about your spouse/family in your posts so I assume your family life isn't that great.

It's compensatory narcissism at work here. Status anxiety is at the root of it.
It is not something that people from a group that values badassity and bestows status based upon it will relate to very well.
Then add to that the upper class attitude to money prevalent in this community and you get this monster of a thread when a high income wage slave with a lower class attitude shows up.

Peter

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Re: Reader Case Study: Can We Have It All But Still Retire Early?
« Reply #335 on: March 23, 2014, 04:41:40 PM »
Looks like the OP disappeared (all the text from the original post is removed, and there are no responses from that user. Now like JoeT, we'll be left to speculate why!

EK

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Re: Reader Case Study: Can We Have It All But Still Retire Early?
« Reply #336 on: March 23, 2014, 05:48:33 PM »
Well, I for one get some sick pleasure from the shitshow that ensues from time to time when one of these unrepentant big spenders shows up here.  I will miss WesterchesterFrugal.

arebelspy

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Re: Reader Case Study: Can We Have It All But Still Retire Early?
« Reply #337 on: March 23, 2014, 06:59:52 PM »
Looks like the OP disappeared (all the text from the original post is removed, and there are no responses from that user. Now like JoeT, we'll be left to speculate why!

Looks like they just deleted most of their posts (went from 200+ to 10), but the account remains active...
We are two former teachers who accumulated a bunch of real estate, retired at 29, spent some time traveling the world full time and are now settled with two kids.
If you want to know more about us, or how we did that, or see lots of pictures, this Business Insider profile tells our story pretty well.
We (rarely) blog at AdventuringAlong.com. Check out our Now page to see what we're up to currently.

grantmeaname

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Re: Reader Case Study: Can We Have It All But Still Retire Early?
« Reply #338 on: March 23, 2014, 07:34:22 PM »
That's okay. WF's posts in Investor Alley are reasonably productive (even if I don't totally agree with them). Here's hoping they stick around...

dragoncar

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Re: Reader Case Study: Can We Have It All But Still Retire Early?
« Reply #339 on: March 23, 2014, 07:48:13 PM »
Looks like the OP disappeared (all the text from the original post is removed, and there are no responses from that user. Now like JoeT, we'll be left to speculate why!

Looks like they just deleted most of their posts (went from 200+ to 10), but the account remains active...

Man, I kinda saw that coming and considered archiving the thread for posterity, but never pulled the trigger.

Right now you seem to value cultivating fake friendships, keeping up appearances to those fake friends (and yes they're fake because you said yourself they would leave as soon as you stop spending) and that is pretty much your life.  You mention very little about your spouse/family in your posts so I assume your family life isn't that great.

It's compensatory narcissism at work here. Status anxiety is at the root of it.
It is not something that people from a group that values badassity and bestows status based upon it will relate to very well.
Then add to that the upper class attitude to money prevalent in this community and you get this monster of a thread when a high income wage slave with a lower class attitude shows up.

Peter

Super nouveau riche

Nords

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Re: Reader Case Study: Can We Have It All But Still Retire Early?
« Reply #340 on: March 23, 2014, 08:36:32 PM »
Looks like the OP disappeared (all the text from the original post is removed, and there are no responses from that user. Now like JoeT, we'll be left to speculate why!
Looks like they just deleted most of their posts (went from 200+ to 10), but the account remains active...
This used to happen a lot at Early-Retirement.org.  Posters would get bashful about sharing too much on the Internet, or someone would have a hissy fit and delete their posts before flouncing off, or a troll/astroturfer would be outed and decide to push their "reset" button.  It was frustrating because it'd make some threads look like Swiss cheese while other posters wouldn't be able to look up a deleted post or link.

vBulletin software comes with an adjustable "Modify" setting.  Posters could edit their posts for something like an hour, but after that they couldn't modify them (let alone delete them).  I don't know whether SMF comes with the same tweak.

arebelspy

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Re: Reader Case Study: Can We Have It All But Still Retire Early?
« Reply #341 on: March 23, 2014, 09:36:44 PM »
Looks like the OP disappeared (all the text from the original post is removed, and there are no responses from that user. Now like JoeT, we'll be left to speculate why!
Looks like they just deleted most of their posts (went from 200+ to 10), but the account remains active...
This used to happen a lot at Early-Retirement.org.  Posters would get bashful about sharing too much on the Internet, or someone would have a hissy fit and delete their posts before flouncing off, or a troll/astroturfer would be outed and decide to push their "reset" button.  It was frustrating because it'd make some threads look like Swiss cheese while other posters wouldn't be able to look up a deleted post or link.

vBulletin software comes with an adjustable "Modify" setting.  Posters could edit their posts for something like an hour, but after that they couldn't modify them (let alone delete them).  I don't know whether SMF comes with the same tweak.

I'm not a huge fan of that method, I generally like posters having control of their own content personally.  It is unfortunate when a user goes nuclear.
We are two former teachers who accumulated a bunch of real estate, retired at 29, spent some time traveling the world full time and are now settled with two kids.
If you want to know more about us, or how we did that, or see lots of pictures, this Business Insider profile tells our story pretty well.
We (rarely) blog at AdventuringAlong.com. Check out our Now page to see what we're up to currently.

dragoncar

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Re: Reader Case Study: Can We Have It All But Still Retire Early?
« Reply #342 on: March 23, 2014, 11:57:31 PM »
I only read like the first and last pages so I'm disappointed this evaporated before I got a chance to digest the whole saga.  Only some of the pages are available in Google cache (attached).

For future reference, I note that archive.org has a really handy "archive this page now" feature that I intend to use more often.




dragoncar

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Re: Reader Case Study: Can We Have It All But Still Retire Early?
« Reply #343 on: March 23, 2014, 11:57:54 PM »
another page

2527

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Re: Reader Case Study: Can We Have It All But Still Retire Early?
« Reply #344 on: March 24, 2014, 03:36:35 AM »
Strong indication to me the OP wasn't a troll.

kkbmustang

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Re: Reader Case Study: Can We Have It All But Still Retire Early?
« Reply #345 on: March 24, 2014, 06:05:01 AM »
I don't think she was a troll. Honestly, it's s shame and I'm disappointed. I gave her credit for having bigger balls than that. (Apologies for the crude analogy.) I think, had all of the condescension/defensiveness from her and general vomitus/angry response from others sorted itself out, both sides could have learned a lot from each other. It's a shame.

Russ

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Re: Reader Case Study: Can We Have It All But Still Retire Early?
« Reply #346 on: March 24, 2014, 06:38:09 AM »
locking by request of OP, since this thread clearly isn't going anywhere anymore