the main point we are trying to convey and the question we are trying to ask is what about someone who has already invested a huge amount of time and money building up a certain lifestyle (sunk costs) but then starts to see the light
Get over the whole sunk costs thing; I believe you are using them as a proxy for not wanting to give up the swanky lifestyle. Yes, at some point, you do just have to walk away, like a child giving up his security blanket or pacifier. For the child, those things represent a "previous version" of himself, a prior life that he has grown beyond; they are meaningless to him now. Same for you,
if you really want to change your life, then all those sunk costs should look to you like expensive photographs.
Yes, they are sunk costs, but they are sunk like an anchor: there is still a rope to them which continues to drag you down. So much maintenance to, as you've literally said yourself, keep up appearances.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but what I distilled down from your original post is that expenses are about $60k/month and net savings is about $20k/month. That's a 25% savings rate. You're doing better than the average American, for sure, but a more significant savings rate is required to get some traction with this crowd. And, by my math, you're looking at 14 or 15 years of savings before your portfolio will cover your expenses, and that's assuming a fairly generous 5% real return.
Just like there are assholes at every demographic, there are also wonderful people at every demographic. You say you want to continue to hang with the wonderful people you've met, and continue to foster those relationships. I think it's a real test of these peoples' character though, if they continue to desire to be friends with you
if you give up all the trappings of conspicuous wealth. Worst-case, you're forced to seek out new wonderful people at a lower income bracket. What do you want your kids to see as they grow up? Their parents living in a "bubble" of other similarly---and blatantly---wealthy people? Or their parents interacting with lots of different people across all income ranges?
I have friends who I think are also wonderful people. And I don't think anyone would disagree with my characterization of them being wonderful. But they are wealthy (not quite at your level, but high) and I already feel some friction as I try to save money while they increasingly flaunt their success. It's frustrating. I wouldn't say they are bad people or that they are "wrong", or even that they have poor character; I know they still want to be friends. But I think a big part of friendship is
shared values, and what is your lifestyle, but an expression of your values? So while I'm sure we will remain friends, it's hard to stay "tight"; and, frankly, there are some subjects where we just can't relate.
I've been having this discussion with my wife: she's on board with the idea of MMM, so long as we can still be "normal". Normal is living roughly the same way as our friends---our middle class friends, mind you, not our wealthy friends (she already agrees the rich ones aren't "normal"). And I said to her, just look at the stats on how the typical American spends their money (
MMM's old colleagues are probably a representative sample). So I told her, based on the numbers, chances are, middle class people---our friends---spend virtually all their money on "stuff" in one way or another. McMansions, financed cars, electronic gadgets, regular dining out, big cable plans, long commutes, whatever. If you're willing to take it to the level MMM has, you're not going to be "normal". And I'd say that the difference between where you starting from and where you end up is roughly proportional to the amount of growing apart you'll do with your friends.
As I composed this, 40 (!) posts were added, and I see a lot of comments from you along the line of "didn't you read the original post?" I.e., a lot of people mis-reading (or not reading) the details of your original post. Maybe give this readership the benefit of the doubt that your original post wasn't clear or, at least, wasn't representative of the typical way such numbers are presented. At least some of the folks here are making an honest effort to help; why not make their job a little easier and clarify those aspects which are causing a lot of confusion---even if it means repeating yourself---rather than being the disgruntled sysadmin who just says "RTFM".